Hanle P FDE

Experience Description

I was 8 or 9 years old at the time. We were on holiday at a fairly undeveloped, seaside resort. The waves were quite rough and there were no life guards. I went into the sea to swim as I did on all the other days we were there. I have no recollection of anything that happened in between, but this is what I remember:

I was in a very warm, lovely place. I felt like I was held and safe. All the wonderful events of my short life flashed in front of me. One such event was when I was in preschool. I was walking hand in hand with my mother as we stopped at a big tree to look for fairies. There were other events, but I cannot remember them. What I do remember is that there was no fear whatsoever. I was in a very good and warm place. Very far away in the distance, I could hear someone screaming and screaming. But it was so far away that it was a background noise that had no effect on me.

Apparently my uncle went in the water and got me out of the sea. They told me that I was the one screaming. It never really made sense to me as the screaming was so very far away from my warm and comforting experience.

Because I was so young, I never thought about the incident and cannot remember telling or talking to anyone about how it was for me. I didn't think much about the experience until I was in my thirties. Recalling it, I realized that my being or my essence left my body. The body was screaming for help, but that which I really am was perfectly safe.

The result has been that death is something I look forward to. I have no fear of death.

I don't know if this is relevant, but I have had mystical experiences as an adult, despite being a practical, rational, and intelligent person. I don't discuss this with anyone, except when I encounter someone who fears death and it seems appropriate.

One such experience was that my brother committed suicide and appeared in my dream eight months later. In my dream, the two of us were in a swimming pool. From across the pool his wife was walking towards us with her boyfriend. The reason for his suicide was this man. I tried to stand in front of him so he wouldn't see her. He turned towards me, bathed in such loving, gentle light and said to me 'Don't you know where I am now that this cannot hurt me?' His eyes were shining with a love that I had never encountered on earth up to that time. It can only be called a God-like love and peace. It was as if I had a glimpse of heaven. For a moment I could share just how beautiful and exquisite the love was that was now his eternity.

His death made me really start searching for the meaning of existence. I took up meditation and started reading widely across religions. I eventually settled on 'A Course in Miracles', maybe because its teachings were in line with my various experiences. About 14 years after my brother's death, I was meditating one morning. I went really, really deep into meditation. When I opened my eyes, it was as if I had stepped through a veil into heaven. My surroundings were the same, yet it was nothing like it was before. It was as if everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, was Love. I got ready for work, got in my car and started driving. I remember looking down at the steering wheel and I saw it was Love. The trees were shimmering with Love, the space between it was filled with Love. I will never forget the first face I laid my eyes on at work . It was a middle-aged, black lady and she seemed to be upset about something. I looked at her and she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Then my eyes moved to the next person and he was equally beautiful. Love streamed from them all into me and from me into them.

Thinking back, I find it hard to believe that I functioned, but I did. I also recall that that day, we heard of the death of 3 people: a co-worker, a friend's mom and a friend of a co-worker. I couldn't be sad about any of them. I wanted to laugh and tell people that death is a joke, nothing to fear and that it didn't exist.

During that time, I also experienced that as humans we all communicate in this exquisite Love all the time. We pretended to be in our bodies, to argue, and to joke, but all the while we have such Love for each other. It is a Love that cannot be described in words. It was as if I was seeing the world through binoculars that were turned upside down. That we were playing our little human games down there in the distance, but that what was really happening was this Love and this beautiful connection. This experience lasted for 4 days. A thought entered my mind that I need to hold on to this experience and with that I started returning back to normal. It couldn't have taken more than an hour for me to be back in a body, with the experience but a beautiful memory. What remained of this experience was that I couldn't see another human as more or lesser than myself. It doesn't matter who they are, what they do, or what they look like. I have seen our sameness and that thread underlies all interactions.

There were a few other, less earth-shattering weird experiences. I don't know if any of this is related to my near-drowning, but it was good to get it all on paper.



Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1967 or 1968

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning CPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Near-drowning

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Just the screaming. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. There was nothing about everyday life that distracted what I was experiencing. In other words, I was present only for the experience and nothing else. It had all of me, all the time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The alertness was equal all the time. There must have been a time where I must have been scared, before I entered the warm space. But I have no recollection of it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There was no time that I was aware of, just a sensation of safety and warmth.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I cannot recall actual vision. Looking at the highlights of my short, past life, seemed to pass through my mind's eye.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The only hearing happening was hearing the screaming in the far distant. As it was me screaming, yet it was far, far away. Does that mean my hearing was worse or did the hearing belong to a body I have left? I don't know.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Warm, loved, safe.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control. Today, I remember the episode with my mom and I walking hand-in-hand past the tree while looking for fairies. The incident did happen and was one where I felt very safe and joyful.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't believe in hell anymore. I believe we are all loved beyond anything we could ever imagine and nothing we can do or say will ever change that.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- Unitarian and other liberal faiths. I follow a 'Course in Miracles,' considered New-Age by some

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I think at age 8 or 9 I believed death was death. Seeing how I left my body and that the body seemed irrelevant during this time. This clearly left some imprint in me, even though it only came back many years later.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I cannot remember as a little girl what changes happened. It did change my viewpoint once I started mulling it over as an adult.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I want to refer here to the later experience I had when it felt as if I stepped through a veil. The experience was all about Love and feels relevant.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown The changes of the experiences are internal. I look forward to the day that I will return to that beautiful, warm place. I feel deeply connected with humans, animals and nature. I don't stress much about this life. Nothing is as important as we think it may be. Material things have no value to me. True value does not come from this earth.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain The childhood experience no. But remembering it and the other experiences has turned my into a person with deep empathy for others. It doesn't mean my conditioning just disappeared or my personality changed, but it softened me.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes When you have an experience that is not part of everyday living, that contains that which is not generally experienced, there are no adequate words to describe it. No matter the words, the experience was so much more than that.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. All three experiences that I shared are imprinted in my mind. I can take the memories out and play them back with the exact emotions and they are always the same. This is not my normal experience in life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had a friend who had cancer. I was lying in my bed one day and it was as if a ray of love entered and moved through my body for the better part of an hour. I have a voice that tells me important things, e.g. I would be talking to an acquaintance and the voice would tell me we will become best friends. Fifteen years later, she would still be my best friend. It happened with 2 other people as well. These were always people I would think unlikely to have a long-term relationship with. The 'thinking about someone and then they phone' is very strongly developed. I can also sometimes sense just when people are thinking of me and I get a sense what the emotion around it is. I seem to be able to understand everything about a person with great accuracy. I don't always like this. Sometimes it is better not to understand the motivations of others. It also feels as if they are emotionally naked in front of me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes At least 30 years before I first shared my near-drowning experience. The others I very seldom share. If the person is facing death or a loved one is facing death, sharing my experiences seem to really help. Sharing in other circumstances depends on the person and situation. It is normally well-received. I think I go into almost a trance when sharing, so people pick up on the authenticity of that.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. The whole experience was clear and precise. There is nothing to doubt about it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real .Remembering the experiences is as it happened just now. The clarity never wavers.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Earlier in the dream about my brother in heaven and the 4-day experience of stepping through a veil and into 'heaven'. I feel they are all connected and point to the same thing.