TO NDE

I was bitten by Black Widow spider three times on the arm. I was found by my husband not breathing and without a pulse. It must have been only for a brief period.

In a nutshell, I ended up having to lie on the sofa to try to breathe. I ended up first coming OUT of my body! It was scary for me. VERY scary for me. The only reason I know it happened is that, as I was lying on the sofa with my eyes closed, trying to breathe...all of a sudden, I could see my husband standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes and talking to our daughter who was playing in her highchair with some kind of blue toy.

As I opened my eyes, I saw that the foot of the sofa was about 5 feet below me. I was ready to ask my husband to call 911...but decided against it...and then decided to pray. Note: I hadn't "really" prayed in years. We're talking SERIOUS backsliding here. I fell into all kinds of bad things.

Anyway, as I began to pray, I started to spin and spin and spin. THEN, OK, this is going to sound really whacko, but it's the truth -- you know how people talk about going into a white light? Well, I didn't see a "white" light, but there was a wonderful, calming, warm, homey light that was a color I'd NEVER seen before. The only way I can describe it is a violet/white/blue fluorescent type color -- but it was almost like a pool of color or presence (not a tunnel, really) that was radiating so tremendously. I WANTED to take it in…to go to it...but I DIDN'T, because I knew what it meant.

What I know it meant was that, if I went with that light, I'd be taken from this Earth. I cried inside and asked God to please spare me and give me a second chance at life. I knew that my husband and baby daughter could not stand to live without me (my husband tragically lost his father at 14). I knew the choice wasn't my own...which is why I prayed to the Lord to please give me another chance. I promised to go back to Him...to take him back into my heart…to do things right this time.

The point is that experience has changed my life forever. I'm so grateful for it, but I'm sorry and disappointed that it took that -- something so extreme -- to make me wake up. I'm having a very hard time not hating myself for the bad choices I've made in the past.

Note: Before I was presented with the light/presence, I first went through a period of seeing and feeling several strange shadows kind of wrapping themselves around me and over me...suffocating almost. It was very frightening. This is when I began to beg God's forgiveness and mercy -- for I suspected that these "shadow beings" may have meant that I would not be able to go to God -- but that some horrible alternative would take over.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: November 2001

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Bitten by Black Widow spider three times on arm. Bitten again (one time) almost 2 days later. Clinical death Was found by husband not breathing and without a pulse. Must have only been for a brief period.Black Widow spider bites can be fatal if enough venom is released into the system -- causes muscular tension/cramping which can lead to difficulty breathing and/or suffocation. I FELT as though I was in an aware state...but my husband found me not breathing and without a pulse. I also remember trying to remind myself to take a breath and remember having an extremely slow heartbeat...TOO slow.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes At one point during the beginning stages of my experience, I opened my eyes because I felt like I was spinning. I saw the foot of the sofa, my feet and the fireplace on the adjoining wall all BELOW me...as if I were looking down on everything from about 5 feet up…as if I was up toward the ceiling.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I haven't thought about that much, now that I think of it…but I did see my deceased grandparents who approached me and my grandfather tried to brush my forehead and said, "Everything's going to be fine." In retrospect, I don't recall seeing his lips move as though he were saying the words…but I "heard" it.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It wasn't a tunnel...may have been an enclosure...it definitely had depth. I didn't really pass into it, though. I was encountered with it...and did kind of bask in the outskirts of it...but didn't go very far within it…only a short ways. I know I did go into it somewhat because that's when I was faced with my grandparents.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes As I mentioned above, I first saw some kind of shadow beings...several of them. I didn't know them...but actually thought they resembled (by feeling only...I couldn't see them...they were just black silhouettes) bad men from my past or something. I also met with my deceased paternal grandparents briefly. I described this earlier.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light, as I described earlier, was a violet/white/blue fluorescent type color...a color I'd never seen before...no one's seen before here on Earth. It was so incredible and radiated immensely.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? First, I felt relaxed...then fearful...then anxiety...then loved...then relieved...then renewed...then welcomed...then unwillingness to join it while ending my present life here.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

The experience included: Vision of the future

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Nondenominational Christian

What is your religion now? Moderate Personal relationship/bond with God and the Holy Spirit.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Difficult to explain how incredible it really was. Hard to describe the color of the light/presence I encountered...it was a color I've never seen before. I also found it most difficult to share my experience with someone without feeling as though the listener might not believe me or think that I'd lost my mind or that I just had a vivid dream. Fortunately, my husband can vouch for me that it was real because of things I knew he was doing while I was "out".

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain