Alex L NDE

Experience Description

On January 03, 2018, it was stormy and rainy outside. I was supposed to take a friend's niece and her father duck hunting. I was on vacation but wasn’t feeling well. The weather wasn't good for hunting so we called it off. I felt good enough to started fixing things around the house while my wife was at work. After wiring in and testing a thermostat, I noticed a floor transition strip that had come loose. I nailed it down and then stood up. I changed the TV channel, scratched myself and then it felt like a vibrating pager in the middle of my chest.

As normal when that happens, I get weak and tired. Years prior I thought my body was shutting down and I told the doctors about the butterfly feeling. Instead of my stomach vibrating, it was in the middle of my chest. After some tests they diagnosed it as an irregular heartbeat and put me on some medication to take care of it. I stopped the taking the medication. About 2 years later, while doing a stress test at the hospital, I didn’t want to stop. I opted to exercise more rather than taking the medication.

After my heart started vibrating, I finished cleaning up and took my blood pressure 156/106 75 BPM. This was the highest it has ever been. I felt fine though. I took a hot shower thinking this would help. Then the first seizure hit and I knew immediately that I was having a heart attack. The seizure was like a 16 LB bowling ball trying to push up my throat with a truck sitting on my chest. I’ve broken bones and tore ligaments, but nothing compares to that pain of my body trying to stay alive. Being trained in CPR and first aid, I went into slow-down mode. I finished rinsing off and called both 911 and my wife. Then I had another seizure. After te fourth seizure, I could had to sit down in the recliner.

The first responders started to arrive. First came the firemen and then came the paramedics. They asked me questions. The medic looked up and said, 'Give to him we have. We’re losing him.' While putting me in the ambulance, my wife drove up in a panic. The paramedics were telling the fire captain to get her out of the way and detain her. On the way to the hospital, the medic asked if the firemen had told me what was happening. I said, 'No.' He mumble, 'Great always leave it on us to give the bad news.' I looked at him and said, 'I know I’m having a heart attack and dying. Don’t worry about it. You do your job and I’ll do mine by trying to stay alive.'

I started having another seizure. I could hear him saying something about the seizure. Then the blood pressure machine tightened on my right arm and the seizure stopped. I tried to get his attention to keep the pressure on my right arm that I would make it. He first misunderstood and said 'depression was very common.' I yelled at him, 'I’m not depressed! Lock down my right arm!' He said that he couldn’t do that because the machine was automatic. I was about to tell him to put tourniquet on when the pressure released. I said, 'Oh No, too late!' I started to have a different seizure and started shaking uncontrollably. I felt cold. I could hear the medic yell at the drivers, 'We’re losing him.' They yelled back, 'Hang on! We’re on ramp less than 2 minutes.' I blacked out. I did wake up while they’re getting me out of the ambulance. We made it to pre-op.

My eyes rolled up, the lights went out and my last thought was, 'Thank God, it’s over!' I was then aware of being in blackness, with absolutely nothing. Then I felt such intense Happiness, Joy and Love. There are no words that can really express what I was feeling. I felt like I was in a fog as I watched a light that continued to get brighter as the feelings grew stronger and stronger. The light was so bright that the people looked like silhouettes. One person was lying down horizontally next to to me and they were hustling all around the body. I was drawn to the light and the feeling. I heard, '200 joules. Set. Clear.' I try to scream with all I’ve got, 'NO!'

The body lurches skyward and when it lands on the table I’m back in my body. My first thought back was, 'Wow, that was the best sleep I’ve ever had.' I felt incredible. Then I thought. 'What a weird dream.' The Male nurse started CPR again. Then I remembered that I was in the hospital having a heart attack. I hadn’t opened my eyes yet; I had no strength and couldn’t stop him or say anything. He’s pounding away on me. I could barely see the lady doctor pulling out the incubator tube.

I thought, 'Oh #hit, they’re going to cur me open.' I realize someone’s standing on my right. I’m now looking at him and blinking my eyes like crazy. He finally looks down, sees me blinking and says 'Stop, I think he’s back!' No one listens and they kept pounding on me. The nurse finally stops and lifts the oxygen mask. I say, 'Yeah, I’m back. Get off me!'
While the nurses were pushing me to the surgery room, I had enough strength to raise my right hand shake their hands for what they’d done and apologize for being such a pain. She something sarcastic and then the doctor told me not to do that again. I told her that I wouldn’t as long as they promise not to hit me 200 joules again. Simultaneously, they quit pushing the gurney and asked 'How did I know that?' I thought for a second then laughed and said, 'I died on you didn’t I? You only shock us to bring us back.'

In the surgery room, the nurses started prepping me for sedation. The doctor was explaining the procedure and I told him that I know what he was going to do. He says 'Ok, you do know. You can’t move when we’re doing this procedure.' I tell him, 'better hurry! Another seizure is coming and I can’t move anyway.' They found one plugged artery (not the widow maker).

The next day I’m telling my story to family and friends. One asks if I came back with anything else. At first I laugh saying, 'You’ve watched too many horror movies.' I stopped to think about it. I looked around and say, 'Yes, I did but you’re not going to like it.' No one press and I didn’t say anymore. Later, when things quieted down, my best friend and a few others wanted to know. I said, 'There’s something coming. Thousands, if not millions. are going to die. There’s going to be a massive effort to save everyone and we shouldn’t do it.' They asked, 'Is it a war?' I replied, 'It wasn’t like I had a conversation but, no, it wasn't a war. Something about trying to save everyone and don’t do it. Another thing, if you think on your deathbed you can just arbitrarily ask for forgiveness and it’s given. No, you’re going to pay. You need to make amends before that moment.'

I am unhappy with the pressure by others trying to force others to believe. We’re given a free will for a reason. He wants each individual to look at themselves and find it in themselves. Believe with your heart and soul. Do what’s right and you’ll be OK. Start making amends. Since I returned, I remember bad things that I’d done even as a kid that were long forgotten. I remembered even stupid things where I’d just made a comment to got a laugh, but turned out that it hurt someone deeply. I’ve been paying my dues since my heart attack. People ask me all the time if I believe and the answer is always, 'Yes.' They look at me and I just tell them I can’t tell you what to do. You have to find it in you. I think I’m back just to tell my story and be a messenger of some kind.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 01/03/2018

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack CPR given Out of body experience Heart Attack

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I heard, '200 Joules. Set. Clear.' I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Hard to explain. I felt pure, clean, and uncorrupted, like a newborn taking everything in as a new and exciting experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Recorded time for cardiac arrest was 4 minutes. The doctor said it was much longer; more like 6 to 10 minutes. I’ve no idea of how much time occurred from the moment I had my last thoughts and to the time I reached the blackness. As I gained consciousness on the other side, I could’ve been in the fog. Because of the light and some seemingly correlation with my feelings, I just seemed to float there. I want to think I was being drawn to the light, but I don’t know for sure. The light was getting much larger than the silhouettes. They could easily fit inside the light. Then I stopped hovering and watching; I seemingly was gaining more consciousness. That’s when the 200 joules hit me and I was trying to scream. I would say that was my highest level of consciousness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I couldn’t relate or seem to care about time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was like in a fog. As it seemed to clear, I started to make out things but the light was all I seemed to care about. I couldn’t tell the people apart as they were shadows.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don’t remember hearing anything except '200 Joules set clear' when I tried screaming. There was no sound, nothing but the glorious feeling. Then it was gone and I felt terrified.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light, like the sun, but it didn’t hurt to look at it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt intense feelings from incredible love to terror.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I just seemed to stop and hover. When I heard the '200 Joules,' I just knew I didn’t want to come back and it terrified me that I was going back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic. I don’t practice it much. Haven’t been to church or confession in years. Was an altar boy from second grade to a freshman in high school.

What is your religion now? Do not know. I do believe but I’m apt to pray, ask for forgiveness, thanks for whatever; in the outdoors.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I always believed in a higher power whether others want to call it God or Jesus. I never really thought much about it but had read a few stories in newspapers and magazines. With this experience and watching my dad die and another Vietnam vet earlier, I truly believe there’s life after death.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists My awakening, the light, the feeling that I’ve never experienced.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain. Thousands are going to die. Massive effort to save everyone. Don’t do it. Millions will die. Make amends for sins before you’re on your death bed. Don’t think you can wait till the last then ask for it. Don’t believe that all science and technology came from God no matter how good you think it is. The other side has an agenda and the capability. Believe in the Buddhist teachings and the old Native American beliefs. Save the planet appreciate and thankful for what you have.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The feeling was love, joy, and Happiness. Just incredible!

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. I seem to have more empathy. I find myself on the verge of tears and, in some cases, I shed them. That never happened before when I could be very cold and stern. I watched both my parents die and didn’t shed a tear. It was just something that was meant to be. Now, I catch one of those bad memories and a tear will fall because I feel so terrible about what I did. I also seem to enjoy the simple things much more. Chores aren’t chores anymore, it’s different. I’m more open with people.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember everything from the moment it started till it was over. I’ll never forget it. Just like I’ll ever forget watching my dad and that vet die and that was like 1997.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The light. I want to go back to it. I want that feeling again.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately after I was telling my wife, family and friends. Various reactions, mostly positive. Lots of goosebumps. I’m still telling it today.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Minimal, just some news and magazine articles. I only found out about this cause a friend gave me a book about it after I told her about my experience. I don’t think I’ve got much longer and the odds are against me. I’m ok with it. I started thinking again about my experience and decided to look online. I found NDERF. Then after reading some of the stories, I figured why not share mine?

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I’ve been in maintenance and operations for 50 years. I troubleshoot things. I’ve been CPR trained for over 40 years. I’ve seen death and listen to them as they died. When my heart attack began, I planned on making it. I had a feeling I was going to make it and something inside me said to pay attention because I was going to have a story to tell.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Incredible; I want to go back. I can’t stop thinking about it. I see it and it plays in my mind all the time.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes