Abby Jo O NDE-like

Experience Description

The room was very cold. It was a bedroom in a basement apartment in an old Victorian house. It was normally dark and cool, but that day it was cold. As I lay on the bed, I became aware of a presence in the room. My eyes were closed and I did not see anyone there. I don't remember if at the time I had roommates but I do know there was no person there, physically, with me. We had no pets at the time. I became aware of the presence as being a disincarnated spirit, a ghost. I had some limited experience with a ghost when I was a child. This ghost was the lost soul of a previous occupant of the same room. He was a previous tenant who had committed suicide in that room and this was later verified by the Scottish landlady. It was a male energy and he told me he did not know where else to go. This had been his home. I told him I would get him to the next step, and I think my words to him at the time were, 'I can take you to the right place. Let's go.'

I do not remember a tunnel. I was in an open field, filled with bright white light and a kind of fog. There were no bodies. This is where I 'dropped off' the soul and he left me there. Although this happened to me more than three decades ago, the memory is still very clear and perhaps I have needed to survive to be able to post this here. Until I read Rajiv Prati's book, I did not know there were so many others with similar Light experiences. I rarely tell anyone about this experience and I have never written about it in detail. I told my son about it when he was growing up. I told my doctor about it at the time and he said it was oxygen deprivation to the brain. This explanation I accepted for many years, although it never explained how the landlady could verify the previous tenant's suicide when there was no other record of it and no internet in 1986. I never asked his name as it never seemed important.

All I can say is at the time and before the trip I took to 'the Light People' and their dimension, there was no way for me to know about an undisclosed suicide other than to interact with the ghost myself. The landlady did not volunteer information until after I asked specifically about a young man committing suicide in the same flat and she was very quiet and pale when she acknowledged that there was.

In any event, when I arrived at what I would now describe as perhaps a field of Light, or a cloud, the soul I was travelling with was greeted by someone who told me, 'Thank you for escorting him. Someone will meet with you shortly. Wait here.' I waited in the open arena/cloud and it was like being at a very big cocktail party but without bodies. There were hundreds of intense telepathic conversations going on all around me. I could 'tune in' to any of them I wanted to. It was very much like turning a dial on a radio or changing webpages on a computer. I could shift my focus and 'hear' telepathically any conversation I wanted to hear, on any topic, all happening simultaneously.

I waited until I was then escorted to a tall angel. I can't say it was Jesus or Moses or him or her. The person was very tall and bright but one individual. This individual spoke to me as a wise grandfather might. In life, I never met my grandparents. Two died in Poland in WW2 and two died in California after escaping Eastern Europe. So, I never got any loving contact with them. If I could have a loving grandfather who is wise, protective, very tall, and made of translucent light, then that would be close to what I saw that day. This was a loving person; he radiated love but there was no body. He was just a towering light with concern and love. It was unconditional love unlike that I have ever experienced with humans but approximated by my love for my own child, my love for my dog and once or twice sungazing. Here and there I get close to that angelic love but never that strong, bright or unconditional. I told the angel I wanted to stay. The angel said, 'you can. You have free will. You can do what you choose to do. But if you stay here now, many people who have been waiting a very long time for you, and who are depending on you, will be disappointed and their lives will be affected...' or something very close to that. I remember reluctantly agreeing to 'go back' and at the same time being told that 'things will get better' which to some extent I suppose is true. They changed, sometimes better, sometimes worse; never the same for long.

The experience ended when I felt myself turn into something like spiritual 'water.' I suddenly felt a strong gravitational force pull me or suck me down and I 'poured' myself back into the body on the bed. The room was clean and it was not as cold. Within a few weeks of that experience, I 'forgot' (for the only time in my entire life to date) to sign my rent check. I mailed the unsigned check to the landlady. The landlady came to see me for the only time ever since I had rented that apartment. As I handed the signed check back to her, I asked if there had been a previous tenant that had committed suicide in the apartment. She looked me in the eye and nodded very slowly and put the check in her bag and turned and walked away.



Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1985-6

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. It was a haunted apartment. Other: I was lying on bed

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I am not normally aware of the CHOICE of being in a body or of the body being heavy. I wasn't aware of the self being Light, which is voluntarily and temporarily poured into this body. The water transforms after leaving the cup, it does not cease to exist. It becomes vapor or ice or part of another vessel. In the moment of the highest level of consciousness, I realized that the body is a temporary vessel: a thick, heavy, limited, disconnected, slow vessel and that my true self was Light, airy and without limit. Returning to this body was like asking me to go clean up a messy room with bad plumbing, peeling paint, bad ventilation, no heating/cooling, and stay in it until I could remodel it or move to a new home. The body was 27 or 28 but had already been showing signs of neglect. It is an awareness of karma. In that moment I knew I made the 1985, 1986 body and that abandoning her in the same place as the previous tenant had left his body would be a 'cop out.' At the time, my conclusion was this event happened to remind me not to abandon others, not to give up because there was a reason for everything and my reasons were still becoming clear. One answer that I was getting to the prayer for God to show me some proof was this memory that I am not the body, I occupy it as a driver occupies a car or a user operates a computer...and yet it is important that I not leave my 'shift' before my time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moment I chose to leave the Light and allow myself to return to the body on the bed.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no 'time.' It lost meaning. The events were sequential but I have no idea how long it took from the time I lay down until the time I got up, it was the same afternoon, so no more than an hour or so had elapsed.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Words fail to describe the sense of unity and unconditional Love, the ease of moving from conversation to conversation without language barriers, without any artificial limits such as money, credentials, duality, or physical form beyond something like translucent Light, white cloudy stuff and nothing more than intelligent thought and harmony, complete safety. Nothing on Earth compares with it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The experience was telepathic. I did not 'hear' sound at all.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Nobody I could name, but I was aware that I was in a large crowd of souls.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Like sun-gazing on a good day. It is not any color just white light filling my awareness with light so that the body is dissolved in the light. Around me there are no physical shapes, only white light and thoughts within that light. The thoughts are like ripples or currents in the light not shadow, more like movement, wind, but driven by thoughts.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Nonphysical plane I can only describe as a cloud of white light or an open area of translucent white light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, unity, acceptance, understanding and empathy. I also felt sad to be leaving that state. The question coming up in a moment asks about joy. It was not joy. It was not Happiness. It was more like a sense of being 'home,' of belonging and of that being more 'real' than what we reading this survey call 'reality.' Our true reality is white Light. Our limited reality is a physical rainbow which is part of the unity which is bright white Light.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe There was no duality. I was meeting with a supervisor or Elder to get 'a pep talk,' so I would continue with the life I am still living in the same body.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future. Not that I can describe but more of a knowing that there was at least one child waiting for a body that I needed to provide. There was the sense that my work was not done and that more than one soul was waiting on me or relying on me and that the other souls would be affected in disappointing perhaps painful ways if I did not 'return.' It was a knowing in a general way that I had agreements, contracts for the future, obligations and also opportunities to balance karma, to heal myself. I could stay where it was comfortable and easy in the light or I could return to 'shadowlands' finish what I started and evolve. There was a knowing that if I 'check out early,' I would not have another opportunity to heal certain soul relationships and grow spiritually, not for a long time.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Jewish

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Nothing to add to what I already wrote.

What is your religion now? Jewish

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I did not believe in angels or ETs or have any experience with reincarnation but I had one previous encounter with a ghost in a home I had lived in, also an old Victorian. I was at the time a law school dropout focused on making money and finding a mate.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I knew I did not want to be a lawyer. I knew I wanted to do some kind of healing but not with pharmaceuticals. I knew there was a reality aside from whatever I do 'here,' not that it does not matter but that when I get discouraged I can remember my own experience and remember this is temporary that is not.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin A tall angel with a kindly loving patient attitude toward me treating me as an Elder treats a beloved child or grand-child.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I was raised by Jewish parents who did not have a very clear vision for me of what they believed. Jews do not have pictures of God because of the commandment forbidding idols. Any statue or picture like Jesus or Muhammad or Krishna or Shiva would be considered a forbidden idol. So what I saw was what I describe as 'a tall angel.' By tall I mean 20 or more feet tall, taller than a redwood tree.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I don't know if it is universal but it is big and it is a connection. It is possible that I was on a 'cloud' in the future where all my past and future personas co-exist, all the people I have been and will be and all the people that have mattered, not in their bodies but their thoughts...that the thoughts themselves take on an independent life and co-exist on a kind of spiritual wifi internet in the future. It was like being in a chatroom without having to use words or computers or bodies and without having to type, just focus here, re-focus there, turn the dial and change the channel...it was a mystical unity but I can't say if it was all inclusive or just some aspect of one larger being who is him/herself part of something else, etc. It could have been a fractal. That I am in my true state a kind of photon or particle of light in a fractal and there are identical fractals all around which comprise the universe. That's theory after the fact. During the experience I was united and after it I was again separated. I do believe that the same mystical aware being that I met in the 80's over 30 years ago keeps sending me 'proof' because I keep asking for it. The last 'proof' was Prati's book and leading to this questionnaire...

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I would not call it 'God,' that's pretentious. I don't know what it/he was. A higher self? An angel? An ET? Myself in the future?

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Karma.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I went to another state of being and could still think thoughts, could still distinguish a 'self' from other and could still distinguish separation of a kind but more like drops of water in the ocean still being drops or the cells of my own body being cells with some sort of boundaries between them yet all united in one place for one purpose without conflict or duality. I can still clearly distinguish between that state of Light or pure Thought and the state of being in a body, maintaining a body, feeding it, bathing it, medicating it, exercising and resting it. There clearly is a non-physical state of being which is similar to a dream state but which is more lucid and self-directed than a dream and where the light is brighter and of a different quality. I remember 'pouring' myself into the body just like I pour coffee into my mug, so there is the awareness of being outside of and separate from the body.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Karma.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes We can only glimpse what 'love' is from Earth bodies. True Love is a kind of primordial soup of unconditional unity.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown I still do not support organized religion. I am still Jewish. I still believe in a Higher Power, HaShem, we don't know the name of God. I see and believe in synchronicity, no accidents, reasons for everything, balances, lessons, karma, mystical connections, patterns and a multiverse, parallel universes, a self that can co-exist in different places, times, bodies and I believe in reincarnation but also the illusion of time. I might return to where I was after I die but hopefully I will ascend to a higher place of greater wisdom.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I never married and am not in close contact with my grown son, my parents are dead.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There was no metaphor at the time such as 'storing your data in the cloud' meaning on the internet on a web server. In 1985-6 I was on a visit of sorts to a kind of spiritual/telepathic internet that still does not exist as far as conversations with neighbors in Springfield Oregon go. It is not so much that there were no words. It was more like what Dr. Prati wrote that if I had written or talked about this experience at the time in this much detail I would have been labeled psychotic and medicated. Or at least told to shut up, which is more or less what happened, I told few people and only one was an MD not practicing medicine. One friend believed me the others all scoffed and I shut up because at the time I did not know how to share the experience with anyone who wanted to share it for some positive purpose, such as spiritual healing. Even when I was raising my son, starting 10 years after this experience, such topics were not openly discussed even with internet chat groups, it was still taboo and topic of ridicule for shows like 'Ghostbusters' and cartoons like 'Caspar' I did not know of any serious ghost guides if that's what I might call myself then and don't know of any personally now but I know of some through FaceBook and the show 'Medium' and similar shows, but still know nobody in my current personal life that can do what I do/did. So I am putting this post up with my real name and email for anyone who is serious to contact me. Just do not come in person and do not try to telephone. I read all emails.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Unlike other events this one has become clearer while others have faded in memory.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I get 'previews' without being able to control it, often a short glimpse like a few frames of film flash by sometimes in dreams followed by a 'Deja vu' feeling. This is often like seeing a film twice, I remember lines of script, faces here and there, sometimes a name or an address. Sometimes I can google information or other times I just know which road to take. I am also better at Zener cards than I was in the past. I sometimes 'see' remotely when practicing especially with online games but have done it in person as well. These are not skills I use with other people. I give few readings and never accept money. I do sometimes get strong 'vibes' or even 'messages' that seem to come with certain people, at times I email people or tell them what I see, usually I don't.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Guidance is always available for the asking. Nobody is alone or isolated, it only seems so. Proof of Higher Self and life beyond the death of a particular body is everywhere. One needs to be here/now and really see the connections, they are everywhere in nature all the time. We ask for God then tune God out most of the time by living in the past. Suffering is temporary and mostly related to the physical state and we do it to learn lessons we cannot learn any other way.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have never shared all of it in one place in this much detail in writing. All but my son and another person scoffed. A group of ladies in one of the local church groups in Eugene listened briefly and never asked again about it but I did not return to the group either. The group was a half dozen old ladies and more than one had had an NDE. There may be a passing New Ager who said, 'oh you had an astral trip.' Even the two who did not scoff were not terribly moved as far as I know but maybe they were inspired? I can only hope. I don't like sharing when I get this 'so what?' reaction because for me it was profound.

Did you have any knowledge of near-death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I saw a ghost in a house my parents owned in Honolulu but did not have a long conversation with it.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew/know it was real. At the same time, I did not explain it then as a profound spiritual experience but more as a hallucination kind of experience that happened to be related to a ghost. The ghost part will always be real. I don't meet many of them. The ones I do meet are very real and seem to be attracted to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I had little time/space to read until about 9 years ago. In the past 9 years there has been an explosion of books and films about these topics, NDE, OBE, reincarnation and not just stories but research that approaches the degree of organization of psychology. Psychic science is a bit more accepted as well since documentaries have shown remote viewing used by governments to spy on each other since at least the 1950s. The more I read about people such as Dr. Prati who have left professional careers and changed material circumstances to get rid of possessions (as I have done many times) and to simplify life (as I have done many times) to conclude 'less is more' the more research I find such as Dr. Ian Stevenson's work with children's reincarnation memories and Brian Weiss' book, the more I see it was not a personal freaky incident to be suppressed but perhaps a spiritual turning point.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Rollover accident in 2002 was a NDE but never got past the dark tunnel part then.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Email me.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Nothing comes to mind immediately.