Adam W NDE

Experience Description

When I was a teenager, I had issues with depression and anxiety. I attempted suicide a handful of times. When I was about to turn 18, I decided that I was going to end it all by taking an overdose of drugs and then going to sleep. I assumed that I would die peacefully in my sleep since this is what I saw on TV shows and in movies, but this was not the case for me.

I took whatever pills I could find from the kitchen cupboard and followed them with a drink of my mother's alcohol.

I went to sleep. Sometime later, I woke up to the sound of a loud, fast and repetitive, beating noise. I quickly realized it was my heart. It was beating so hard that I swear I could hear it through my chest. As I was lying there, I remembered trying to kill myself. I was scared. My body was telling me that it that it was shutting down. I was having difficulty breathing fast enough to keep up with my heart and my brain felt fried. When I knew that my body was giving up that's when things started to happen.

Suddenly, I saw my own face very close up. I saw my face almost directly above myself, but a little to the side. I saw that my eyes were open and I looked dead. I also saw my whole body and the surrounding area from 5 or 6 feet higher above my body. I'm not sure if I was seeing myself from both perspectives at the same time or not.

I can see there are 20 or more people standing around my bed, like they're waiting or something. I could only really see the tops of their heads and didn't recognize any of these. I don't remember them being dressed in any peculiar way.

I then saw a flash vision of my grandmother, who was the only person I knew who was deceased at the time. I wasn't thinking about her and no thoughts were going through my mind. She was stood in a dark graveyard. She was wearing an old-fashioned, white gown from her neck down to her feet. She stood there slightly to one side and was giving me a stern/angry look. She communicated with me that it wasn't my time, that my mother would be hurt, and that I would be going back. I'm not sure where this communication came from as it wasn't audible or come from a voice. It seemed like she purposefully stopped what was going on.

Then I returned to my body with the knowledge that I have to do something to get out of this situation, so I call for an ambulance. I eventually got taken to the hospital and recovered.

Sidenotes:

- I think some of the people standing around my bed were paramedics, but I'm not 100% sure on this. I've tried rationalizing who all these people were and what they were there for. It did cross my mind not long after the experience that it could have been some kind of flash-forward to if I had actually died for real and what the scene could have looked like, but that still doesn't answer why there were so many people in my room.

- My grandmother was a dominant/controlling woman and my mother counted on her. She was protective of her. I never had a great relationship with my grandmother but just before she died, she would invite me over to her house and we became quite close.

- My vision was different in some way when I was out of my body but I can't explain further. I don't recall seeing things more or less clearly but there was definitely a change in my vision, like I was seeing in super-3D or something. I also don't think that I could feel my heart beating when I was out of my body, although I'm not certain on this since I wasn't in any state of reflection at the time.

I personally think I died for a split-second or a few seconds.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: On or close to my 18th birthday

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes. Suicide attempt Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was having a reaction to an overdose

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. My vision changed like I was seeing in super 3d but I don't recall a change in consciousness.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Not sure.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual There was no real concept of time from what I remember but when I think about it, I think time was sped up.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision during the experience was like super-3D. My everyday vision is fine. I have no issues with vision and I do not wear glasses.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall hearing anything at the time of my experience.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was her grandson.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I didn't feel any emotions

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I'm not sure if it was a scene from the future, but after my experience when I reflected back on it, when I saw the people around me I thought it could have been some kind of flash forward to what the scene would have looked like if I had actually died.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will It seemed that my grandmother wouldn't allow me to continue the experience.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I'm agnostic now.

What is your religion now? Do not know

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was always a staunch atheist who did not believe in any kind of afterlife or anything mystical but since having my experience I have become open to spirituality and even the possibility of a God.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have become open to things like spirituality and the concept of a God.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. I did not hear an audible voice but it was communicated to me that I needed to go back in some way.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain I'm not sure since not a lot happened, however the fact that my grandmother came to me makes me think there's more that follows after we physically die.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life No changes except for the fact that I am more open to spirituality and the concept of there being a God.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Even though this happened years ago, I feel like the experience is somehow etched into my very being. There are some things I am uncertain of (as I stated in my story) but others I am certain of.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes. Seeing my grandmother and seeing myself from a different perspective. Also seeing the people in my room.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I don't remember but I know I told my Mum quite soon after my experience. My mother is open0minded so she didn't dismiss it but she also wasn't asking me any questions. I don't believe anyone has been influenced by my experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard stories about out of body experiences relating to death in passing but I made no serious attempt to look up or research the phenomenon.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was convinced it was real but I didn't really reflect on it much shortly after it happened. It has only been recently (the past 6 or so months) that I began looking into NDE's and reflecting on my own.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real I definitely experienced what experienced, however I have come across content online which suggests that it's neurological and that the brain fires neurons when in the process of dying.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain I went to see Titanic 3D at the cinema. I was reminded of how similar the 3D effects were to how my vision was when I was seeing myself out of my body.