Alfred A NDE

Experience Description

At the time of my experience, I had a very hard life with disease and I had a feeling of disorientation. I was religious, being Catholic, but found no happiness in this denomination. Additionally, my wife passed after long suffering with cancer. Nursing her gave my life a purpose and was blocking out my inner turmoil. But after her passing, these questions arose again and I didn't find any answers. I was extremely exhausted due to the long nursing period. In short, I didn't see a sense in continuing my life and was trying to kill myself with my wife's remaining pain medications.

I was dozing off for some time. When suddenly, I was startled because I was literally ejected out of my body. I was wide awake and floating above my body. It looked so unfamiliar from a bird's eye view. I left the room and the house. The journey stopped in endless space. Gradually, I became aware of the presence of spiritual beings, but didn't pay them any attention. 'Seeing' was a pleasurable experience because everything was seen and perceived through consciousness. Perception and understanding was amazing; happening immediately. I marveled at how slow is the mind in comparison to this.

At first, there was a slow forward motion. But I didn't know why I was moving or where I was going. Suddenly, the destination of the journey seemed to be clear. Then, the forward speed increased like going into hyperdrive. I was rushing through worlds at amazing speed. The only thing I perceived was the alternting of the different colors and light intensities. With this, I always was floating about half a meter above the ground. I didn't feel any resistance at all; no friction due to the velocity.

Finally, I reached the destination. Around me it was pitch-dark. I perceived the presence of many beings. They gave me the impression of being slow and especially dull. They didn't speak together. They even seemed not to notice the darkness because they were so much involved with themselves. I was thinking, 'Here, I'm at the wrong place. I don't feel well here!'

Even though it was pitch-dark I could see distinctly that I was standing on the shore of a lake. I didn't have the time to think about my condition because I could see a boat far away. Standing upright in the boat, there was a man holding a lantern and he was looking towards us. I immediately knew him. It was Jesus! No wonder he was the only light to be seen far and wide. But I didn't care about him. I was completely lethargic about him. Finally he came ashore and stayed about an arm's length away from me. He looked at me with indescribably shiny, loving eyes and gave me a hug. I was immediately surrounded in brightness. Immediately, all my worries and burdens fell away from me. It was simply wonderful being bathed in bliss and love! Suddenly, I was filled with a confidence that I never knew before. It was like I was a different person. It was immediately clear to me, that only my own thinking had been limiting my potential. He was 'talking to me in my mind' and told me two things about my future; that I would find my spiritual master and reach the goal of spiritual effort otherwise known as 'self-fulfillment.'

How I came back to my body, I don't know. I had been in a coma for three days at home, and later on at the intensive care station. What I remember next, is looking for my room in the psychiatric ward. I couldn't remember my room number and all the doors looked the same.

In the same week when I was back home, a working friend told me that she wanted to reduce her private library and asked me if I may have any interest in a book of Ramana Maharshi, an Indian mystic. I had never heard of him, but I remembered Jesus' words that I would find my spiritual teacher. The book captivated me from the beginning and it became my life's compass. Twenty years later,the second declaration of Jesus came true. How terrible would it have been if my suicide had been successful and I would have seen how my life could blossom. I had no idea that it could change in a way that I never could have dreamed of.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: August 26, 1998

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Other unsure/life-threatening Attempted suicide.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It was this immediate comprehension and perceiving in contrast to the slow processing through the brain.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the out of body experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was exciting that I, as somebody wearing glasses, could see totally clear and distinctly without glasses.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing in the sense that communication took place 'in the mind'' not through words.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light radiating from Jesus was unearthly.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. I could only guess about the place because there was a deep darkness on the shore of a lake.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt liberated, released and that I was 'totally myself' in contrast to the 'role playing' as a human.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I realized that all the bad in my life was to prepare me for the difficult care of my wife due to cancer. We had agreed to experience exactly this and to get through it together. My wife volunteered so that I could give her unconditional love, and she gave me unconditional trust. A wonderful experience! I understood that the events in my life all served a deeper sense and that I agreed with them before this incarnation. They didn't simply come over me, I CHOSE them. I incarnated with full confidence, as I had complete trust in myself as being able to manage those trials.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes It's only through this experience that I found to my present spiritual practice.

What is your religion now? Do not know. It is Far East

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Not entirely consistent insofar I met Jesus. I had turned away from him, so was surprised he was there.
People believing in Jesus will probably be very doubting when they are reading my account. Many believe that Jesus is the only intermediary to God. But my experience shows that this is incorrect. Even after my NDE, the belief in Jesus as taught by most Christian Churches wouldn't be an option for me. The realization of my own inherent divinity would be standing in complete contrast to depending on an intermediary to God. Ramana Maharshi helped me to know my own divinity and to realize it.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Above all that life has a soul purpose.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Definitely, it was Jesus with shoulder long hair, a beard, and big, luminous, loving eyes.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Concerning my own life

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That I had an agreement with my wife in order to experience and learn about unconditional love

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. In the past, I believed that my life was meaningless. Today I see that it has a soul purpose. I'm here to evolve and unfold spiritually and to learn things. I need to learned for the sake of completeness. Today I believe that nothing happens without reason. I finally have gained spiritual lucidity.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes The main result of my experience was that I found my spiritual way and so could free myself from all suffering and misery. This allowed me to open my heart for my fellow humans, to meet them with love, and to respond to them with love.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Even though the event happened 24 years ago, I still can remember every detail. It changed my life, especially because of the two predictions. As the first one happened after three weeks, the event engraved itself even deeper into my memory.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Since then, I can see the soul of a human being and where it stands in it's evolution.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That Jesus referred me to somebody else as a soul guide. This goes against the dogma that he is the only way towards God; and of course both predictions he made concerning my spiritual path.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 'Life after life' by Raymond Moody, which I was reading 20 year after my NDE.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Because the first prediction happened after three weeks.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Twenty years later the second prediction took place.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain This remained the only NDE. But it reproduced in the sense that both predictions of Jesus became true later.