Allyssa B Probable NDE

Experience Description

I think it was the 19th time I had pneumonia in less than 5 years. I was admitted to the hospital, again. I stayed overnight and met with the new doctor on Friday. He thought he knew why I kept getting chronic, recurrent pneumonia. He wanted to do a CT scan, for what felt like the 100th time. I was resistant because the other CT scans had come back normal, so what was different about this time? I had him all but talked out of the CT scan, but he ordered it anyway. Shortly after my CT scan, I was discharged from the hospital to rest at home. That night, I went to the local football game. My youngest brother was a senior, and I didn’t want my parents to miss him perform.

The next day, I was tired. Earlier in the day, my mom had stopped at the pharmacy, and picked up a brand new prescription to help my awful episodes of nausea.

About 8:30-9:00pm, I had been nodding in and out of sleep. I was slightly groggy, but decided it was time for my bedtime medications so I could sleep for the rest of the night. At the time, I used an old prescription bottle to hold my 27 pills while I got them out. I set my mixed-pill bottle next to the brand new anti-nausea pill bottle, and then dozed off for another short period of time. When I woke up, I realized that I was in too much pain to have taken my nightly medications. I reached over and picked up one of the bottles, too tired to make sure I picked up the correct bottle. I downed the pill bottles. When my magnesium pill didn’t get stuck in my throat like usual, it raised a red flag in my brain. I felt the corner of the pill bottle label and then knew this was not good. I confirmed my suspicions that I had just taken the new bottle of anti-nausea pills by accident. I jumped on google to see what I needed to do. When I looked up the information, I couldn't find the proper information. I realized that I needed to try to get as many of these pills back up as I could, so I forced myself to vomit. I got up about half of the pills so knew I needed to get to a hospital. I called emergency services to come get me. When they arrived, they wanted to find that pill bottle. In my haste, I had chucked the bottle somewhere in my laundry pile. After 3 or 4 minutes of looking, the emergency medical technician (EMT) must’ve heard my speech slur. He quickly told me that it was time to go.

I don’t remember getting to the hospital, but I do remember the emergency room nurse forcing me to drink activated charcoal. It smelled and tasted like mud. I was in neurological intensive care unit (ICU). When they wanted to check my brain function, they gave me a board. I vaguely remember beating on the board.

During my time in ICU and while on a ventilator, I had a very lucid experience. I was in a beautiful park and my late grandma was underneath a huge tree. I was very close to my grandma and it was hard for me when she had 'died' in February of 2017. I walked over and sat down on the bench beside her as she held my hand. I don’t know if it was hours or days, but it felt like just a few minutes.

In actual reality, it was about 3 or so days.

No words needed to be spoken. She just held my hand. When it was time to come back to my body, she leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said, 'We are not ready for you yet. It was great seeing you, and I want to be selfish and keep you here, but this isn’t your time to go. Others need you more than I do. But know, I will be seeing you soon.'

I remember well the morning after I was taken off the ventilator. It was especially difficult for the ICU team, because I wasn’t the only person to overdose that Saturday night. There was a woman about my same age. While I had accidentally overdosed, she intentionally overdosed. At the same time I was being moved from the ICU to the step down unit, her parents decided that she wasn’t going to make it, and were in the process of pulling the plug. It had been hard on the medical personnel to lose both patients at the same time.

Since my episode, I have changed where I put my medication, so I don’t mix them up again. I always double check, that everything is correct.

I had a very similar experience when I was hospitalized with COVID in September of 2021. Again, I was in the park with my grandma. I was in the hospital for 14 days, but the first 2 or so days of my COVID hospitalization were scary.

I have processed these incidents about my potential after-life, with my therapist. As calm and as warm as that park is, and the fact that my grandma is there, it makes it hard for me to not try and push to get there. However, I know I will go on my own time and have a reason why I am still here.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 9/19/2019

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I mixed up my medications, and accidentally took a whole bottle of the wrong pills.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. It was normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I’m not sure. I’m not sure how I got to the park.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. Time felt almost felt irrelevant. It was almost like there wasn’t time, or if there was, time moved very slowly

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The lights were brighter, the air was cleaner, and the colors are more vivid and bright.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I’m not sure it was any different

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes It was my late grandma

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain. The light was brighter. Colors were more vivid and vibrant.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, calm, pure Happiness and joy. Those words don’t seem like they are enough.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Raised Catholic, but at the time, I was an A-theist. My definition of a-theism is that all beliefs have validity, and I take the good, leave the bad, and find myself in between it all.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I am an A-theist. My definition of a-theism is that all beliefs have validity, and I take the good, leave the bad, and find myself in between it all.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I don’t know what I believe about the afterlife. I know our loved ones are waiting for us.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes. My grandma was there. She had passed in early 2017. There isn’t another way I can describe it other than our souls continue after we pass away.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Our passed on loved ones are waiting for us.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life. My experience hasn’t changed much. I still believe in what I did before my overdose. I knew then, and I know now, there is good and bad in everything; including the after life. It’s good because suffering ends, for the person passing or who passed, but also bad, because they aren’t able to be with you anymore.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember seeing my grandma at that park; just as vividly as I remember my ICU nurse crying, when she helped me into my step down unit bed

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I feel more spirits or being around me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing my grandma again.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared this with my therapist, so I could start re-grieving my grandma.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had a lesser experience in February of 2014, after a surgical complication, resulting in large blood loss. Also, when my grandma passed, I felt my Uncle Gary was there to take her spirit where ever they go.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It felt too real to be anything but real. I could hold my grandma’s hand and feel her heat, just like when she was alive.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No