Anne L NDE

Experience Description : 9293


After I passed out in x-ray, I was put into an empty semi-private room. It was around 10pm at night. As they got me into bed, I remember how shockingly cold the hospital floor was. It was early summer and I had worn flip flops to the hospital, so my feet were bare, and I could not believe how cold the floor was in the hospital room. I also noticed how filthy my feet were. It has stayed with me ever since. I was alone in my hospital bed, it was very dark with the lights out, and everything quiet for the night. I was having trouble falling asleep. I was tossing and turning. My hand was bandaged, I had an IV going of antibiotics, and I then I felt like I was going to pass out again, like I had in X-ray. So, I decided to try to fight the sensation, because I didn't like it. I knew I couldn't fall down again, but just that spinning, dizzy feeling wasn't comfortable. I rolled onto my left side, and I grabbed the bed rail. The sensation passed and I thought I had recovered from swooning. I rolled onto my back, and that's when I realized I was no longer in my body. My first sensation was very strange. I couldn't feel my body at all, but I knew I was not paralyzed. I sat up and felt a sensation of passing through a warm wall of gel. I don't know how to describe it. Like thick warm shampoo. really bizarre. It wasn't dry and it wasn't liquid, it was like both at the same time. There was no pain, and then I swung my legs off the bed and stood up. it was then that I noticed the hospital floor wasn't cold anymore. I couldn't feet the temperature of the floor at all. I could see my body on the bed, but I wasn't afraid of it, or freaked out from being outside of it. it was the same sensation you have when you get out of your car. It's there, its parked and you don't think about it anymore. I didn't worry about it at all. It wasn't scary, and I never worried about it.

At the point the room started to expand. It got bigger, and it changed. The curtain that once hung from the ceiling of my hospital room, was not on a rack to my left side and just ahead of me. It was like a time warp had occurred. Suddenly there was a bright yellow lung machine against the far wall. And the window in the wall had gotten bigger too. It was like a scene from a film in the 1940's and nothing about that registered with me at the time. It was just all accepted like this was normal. NOTHING I SAW WAS EVER ALARMING OR FRIGHTENING. Now, I was alone in my hospital room, but suddenly there was a man before me. His back was turned to me, and he was also had a hospital gown. Thankfully I could not see the back of it LOL. he seemed older, around late 60's and I didn't know him. I never questioned why he was in my room. Then, everything went pitch black. The darkest, dark ever. I remember never having fear I was suddenly struck blind, I just accepted that everything went dark. I remember putting my hand before my face to see if I could see my hand, and I couldn't. I knew I was still standing up, and I knew I had not traveled out of my hospital room. I had not taken a single step from the side of the bed. but everything was just pitch black. 'Room' is the wrong word. It's an area. I could tell it was immense and close at the same time. It was completely silent. There was no noise, and nothing was in there with me. I sensed nothing with me. It had all the fanfare of waiting for the school bus, or my mom to come pick me up. It wasn't scary and I wasn't worried. I had a thought to school kids on the playground, who used to torment me for not being baptized, and telling me I was going to be thrown into a lake of fire for not being baptized like them. I thought, 'GOD?' And that's when the door appeared.

In the dark, a door slightly ajar came open. It was about 500 feet from me. And the instant I thought of going to the door, and instantly, I was at that door. As I put my hand to the doorknob, I felt like I was walking into the house where I lived. I had not question about why the door was there, it was comfortable, and welcoming and I was 'home'. As I opened the door the room was solid white.

The first thing I noticed was the seam where the floor met the wall, and it just wasn't there. I thought that was very odd. I followed with my eyes, seemingly going to the corner, but there was no sharp edge or corner. And then I started looking up the wall, looking for the seam where the walls meet, but there wasn't one either. It was very bizarre to my young mind, I had never seen anything like that, and as I raised my head to look up the wall, I saw the ceiling of heaven. It was blue sky, as expansive and beautiful as the sky over our heads, but somehow brighter, and more vivid. I've never seen a sky like that before or since. It was HUGE. MASSIVE, we don't have words big enough to describe this. It was as big as the sky over your own head now. it was huge. There were bright fluffy clouds, and some birds and as I noticed the edge of it, I noticed it was surrounded by crown molding. As My eyes followed the beauty of the scrolling, I saw it was supported by a massive beam that had a carousel carving to it. Like the pole that goes through the horse you ride on. Again, no fear, no question of where I was, and I just accepted everything I was seeing and experiencing. I had no clue I was in heaven.

At this point is when the Male angel showed up.

EVERYTHING FROM THIS POINT ON IS TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION.

They never 'spoke' in the way we do. this was all in the mind. Every word and nuance, every gesture and feeling I was very aware of.

He didn't poof into the room, he did not walk in, he did not fly in. He didn't even have any wings. He was dressed like someone from my neighborhood. He was very handsome. he reminded me of a boy I liked at my school. He was tall and blonde and rugged looking. He had a on a red flannel shirt, and I could see the white undershirt peeking out from beneath, and he had on 501 Levi's jeans, and black converse high top sneakers. Of course, this struck me as very odd because at the time everyone was wearing white reebok high tops, and I thought his fashion choice was way off. At this he smirked, and said 'Do you want to stay? or do you want to go? And instantly I felt I had all the time in the world to make my choice.

Instantly I thought of my mother. During the time that I was thinking of my mom. I saw her in the living room of our home, on the phone getting word from my dad that I was coding and they were doing all they could. I had been found dead in my bed by my dad. I could feel my mother's fear, and hurt that she could lose me. It made me concerned she would be upset if I stayed in heaven. Would I miss my mother too much if I stayed ? And would I get in trouble with her if I stayed (in heaven)? As I rolled that thought around in my mind, a Female angel showed up. She was blonde, and smaller than me, and dressed in a yellow dress. She also had no wings. I didn't immediately realize I was talking to what I call 'angels'. Then she said. 'You don't have to worry about that, your relationship with your mother will change later on' and instantly, I had no more concerns about what my mother thought of, or felt about my choice, and the scene of her on the phone with my dad, ended. At this point I still had no idea where I was, who I was talking to, or what was going on. I didn't feel confused either. Everything was just accepted like it was the most normal thing in the world. And I was deciding to stay in this place with these people or go back to my life on earth. At this point a really odd thing started to happen.

I had the sensation of being two people at once. Not that my soul was torn in two or anything. Just that there was Me. There was another me at the same time. The other me was older, wiser, and knew stuff that I didn't. I call it 'Flight control'. Because it's like they are the control tower. It's hard to explain.

The me making the decision to stay or go, and the part of me that was already there. I knew that part was long term, and never left this place. It's hard to describe or explain. As the angel, who very much didn't want me to return to earth railed against me going back, the other half of me countered with reasons to go back to earth. 'I still have to have my son' I thought, and I instantly knew that having my son was part of my life purpose. A goal for living was to be his mother, and raise him. Nothing about who his dad would be, or anything like that, just that I had to have my son, and raise him. And I also knew this was much later in life, in my 30's. I put a pin in that. And then the Angel said 'Your life will always be a struggle.' Now I had no idea what that meant, I'm only 17, without a brain in my head, and my first thought/question was 'For food? Shelter' and there was no answer. But I knew the struggle had nothing to do with money, or food or anything material like that, it was something else, and it was going to happen soon. And then the angel said to me. 'There are choices you can make that can cost you your soul'. And again, I had no clue what that meant. ZERO.

As I stood there confused. The Angel showed me WAR.

In this 'video' I was on earth, and older. I was much older (my age now) and I was running with a group of people, being led by a soldier. But I couldn't place the uniform he had on. It was khaki color, and our guys in the military in the united stated wore green fatigues. So that made no sense. I saw the guy had a rifle and we were all running for safety. I could see the smoke, and hear the bullets being fired, and I could see the sand bags, and the block walls we were running for. And the soldier had on a square back pack. Which reminded me of the soldiers of World War One but it was very square, not rounded at the corners so it was confusing. Then the scene ended. This Female angel who showed me all this was being stopped by someone I could not see. or hear. They were having a conversation, and I knew it had something to do with my free will if she showed me anymore. The person who arrived never showed themselves, and there was no recrimination, or judgement, or admonishment. The woman I was talking to now stood before a very long sheet on a clothes line. About 80 people were behind her a short distance off, and I could not see them clearly, but I knew they were there to welcome me. And I could feel from this woman, a grandmotherly, aunt sort of feeling, very caring, and that we had known each other for EONS, not just years or decades, but Eons, before the world was formed, and she had my best, best interest at heart. Then the other part of me, the one I mentioned before, spoke up and said 'I have a lot of work to do', and my first thought was 'Digging ditches'? Then I agreed that I did have a lot of work to do on earth, even though I had no clue what that work was, and then I had a falling sensation, and I was slammed with great force into my body in my hospital bed.

My father had hold of my foot with a great look of concern and fear on his face. A look I would not wish on any parent, a look I had never seen before or since, and my dad was a World War II Pearl harbor survivor. The nurse said 'Welcome back' She looked at my dad and then to me, and said 'he'll be okay'. And began to peel the stickers off of me.

I have remembered this event all these years. The rage I felt toward my sister that caused us to fight all the time was gone. We never fought again. I never told my father about my NDE. I didn't think he would believe me. He died in 1997. I never told my fiancé who was murdered in cold blood 5 months after our engagement in 1990. Because he was devout, and I didn't think he would believe me. I know now, that was the struggle the angel was trying to tell me about. The struggle of heart break. The choices we can make that can cost me my soul ? Suicide.

I did have my son, in 1998 at age 34. My son is 23 now and he's an EMT. And I told both of my kids about my NDE. Other things have come true from my NDE. My relationship to my mother did change. We no longer speak. She's very lost and in the care of my sister. I told my mother about my NDE when I was 40 years old. She told me the 'Work' I had to do was spiritual.

As for War ? That remains to be seen. But I know I die in that. I saw no more of my life after showing me that war scene. I think I get shot but time will tell.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: June 1981

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness CPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was diagnosed with and treated for Septicemia. I passed out and fell to the floor during x-rays, and was held over for observation. It was while I was in my semi-private room that I died. My father found me dead in my bed, and called the nurse, because I was unresponsive. Heroic measures were taken, and I was brought back to life through CPR and a shock to my heart.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes During the time that I was thinking of my mom. I saw her in the living room of our home, on the phone getting word from my dad that I was coding and they were doing all they could. I could feel her fear, and hurt that she could lose me. Her worry, her stress, there are not enough words to describe it. It was like I was her, in her skin at that moment. It made me concerned she would be upset if I stayed in heaven. I worried about her survival if I died. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I knew things I could not possibly have known. There is no way I Could know I would give birth to a Male child in my 30's. which I did. yet I wasn't told about my daughter. And I was not married to her dad. So that could be why. My son was conceived during my marriage. My daughter was not. So that could be why I was not told about her? I don't know. but she is precious to me. Which drives home even more of what I saw my mother going through when she got that call from my dad.

There is no way I could know the back pack on that solider is a satellite phone invented in 1984. 3 years after my NDE. I could never predict that our military would be running around in Khaki uniforms today. The same one I saw in my NDE are the ones we see on TV now.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was talking to the 'angels' is when I knew stuff I could not possibly ever know. But due to my lack of religious education, I had no clue what was going on until later. They had no wings, no flowing robes, no flaming swords. That would have terrified me. Not once I was I ever shown anything scary or horrible.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning When I was asked 'Do you want to stay or go'. I had all the time in the world. I didn't have a thought to my dead body lying in that hospital bed. I didn't worry about how long I was taking, I had no one banging on the door or saying HURRY UP ! I could take years if I wanted. During that time, I was enjoying the scenery. The animals the grass. Everything had a life force. I felt no pressure whatsoever to make my choice. There was no clock. I had a sense as I was told things were going to happen, how far in advance they would come, but that was all ballpark. I was also NOT told of anything negative. Nothing was rushed.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. At age 17, I was in peak performance condition. But I could see things beyond regular vision. Not just the trees of heaven, but the life force behind them. every little cell of the leaves. Every thought the other 'angels' had. Their feelings.. its beyond anything we experience on earth. Imagine knowing how your friends REALLY Feels about something. It is like that.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Excellent. I could 'hear' telepathic thought. When the angels were talking to me, there was no movement of the mouth, just thought.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was in everything. Everything was alive in its own right. The 'light of life' The grass, the sheet between us, the angels I spoke to the scenery, the Trees, everything. It vibrated with light and peace and love and joy and harmony. It's the best of the best.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Walked through the door and it was so clean and white. There was no ego, no one-upmanship, and NO FEAR.. I can't stress that enough. My life was full of fear from my mother and yet I had none of that when I walked through that door. There was a definite separation between our earthly life and the life we have in that place I call heaven. I remember being struck by No ego; I didn't worry about anything. I didn't worry about not being good enough. I didn't worry about anything, no matter how weird it got. And no FEAR. Every single day we have worries in the back of our mind. Will a plane fall out of the sky and hit my house? Will there be an earthquake or a tornado or a Tsunami ? Nothing like that exists in that realm. Nothing can hurt you there. Nothing can be destroyed or waste away. There is a level of peace that I can simply not describe. And only by experiencing that can one understand what I mean.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace. Joy, confusion, elation, a sense of comfort. Continuance? That our lives are in fact guided and pre-designed. There are just not words. It's like grandma's house. Great food, peace, you know you're okay, happy. I can't put it into words. It's a feeling. PEACE and no ego. no stress, no worry no fears, no thoughts about tomorrow, or work. Just .. how do I explain this ?

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood how the angels felt about me. Their concerns. Their love for me. Very grandmotherly, protective, worried. Life on earth is like war. Like the front lines of France in World War II. I felt my mother's love for me and concern. I had every understanding of the goals in my life, such as having my son in my 30's. ( I gave birth of him at 34) and I knew my life would be rough if I came back, but not exactly why. I understood everything within my limited understanding.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No yes. My relationship to my mom and sister. My mother had a favorite in my sister and our relationship was not that great. My dad and I had a great bond. I was partly worried my mom would be mad at me if I stayed, because she was mad at me most of the time. yet I still worried if I was going to miss her too much, but at the same time I worried about being in trouble with her. Like a bad kid doing a bad thing if I stayed in heaven and pissing her off. That's why opening the door was such a big deal for me having a 'home ' feeling. IN life, I used to come home from school and say things like ' At least she can't kill me' because I was in trouble from the moment I walked in the door with my mother. I always had the feeling she didn't really like me. Which is probably why I had such a great relationship with my dad.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future when I was shown War. The uniforms the solder had on was NOT the uniform of the day. Our guys wore green fatigues. Always. this was a light tan outfit. Top to bottom. A large square back pack. but not like the ones they wore in World War I. My add was in the military so I was familiar with military attire. today, I see those uniforms on the TV. I know what's coming. I know we will be in war. I know people will be rounded up. I know that I will be one of them that is 'escorted' under heavy fire to safety. I'm pretty sure I die during that move by a gun shot.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life The other me... my other half ? It said .'I have alot of work to do'. And I thought .. what work ? Digging ditches? It made no sense to me at all. but I also agreed with that. There is a lot of work to do on earth and then I was thrown back into my body. I had a sensation of falling a short distance and literally I was SLAMMED back into my body. I remember it being slightly cold too on reentry. The force of my being back in my body was so hard, I thought I might not walk again. I worried about that, and I did a systems check to make sure everything was still working. My legs, my spine my hips my fingers. I worried

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist I was raised in an Atheist household. There was never any discussion of God, or after life. I was told that you just 'Click off' at the time of death and that was that. We never talked about heaven, or hell, or angels or anything like that. We never attended church even through there were several around. My parents were hippies of the 1960's, and were even in San Francisco at the time. They were into new age belief systems and nothing mattered as far as eternal souls. They believed in reincarnation, and Buddhism, but I would not call them Buddhist.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes some of my experience reflects in the bible.. I didn't see a tunnel. I saw a door. The same door as John did in Revelation 4:1. I am a firm rapture believer. I know God's infinite patience with us. I have seen angels. I know they exist. They know everything about us. And lovingly support us, even our sins. Even the things we do that we know are wrong due to our own free will. I wish there was a way to convey this. LOL. I am a bible believer. Not just a Christian. I know every world of the bible is true.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I am a bible believing Christian now. I saw things that are in the bible. Like the Door that John talks about in Revelation 4:1. I saw a door. Not a tunnel of light. Many things about my experience are stated in the holy bible, which at the time of my NDE, I had never read the bible, I had no understanding of the bible, and no religious education. There is no way I could have known about any of that beforehand.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had no clue where I was or what was going on. I was never told about God or heaven. I wonder what MORE my experience would have been if I had told any of that. How many choices would I have made differently in my youth if I had been told about the Love of God, and how much we are cared for. I had that from my dad but not my mother. Not even after my NDE. I didn't share it with anyone. I didn't trust that I would believed and how do I tell someone about this without thinking I'm crazy. I was in a pack of ATHIEST and I had been to heaven? I would have been laughed out of the room. I wish I had told my dad before he died. But again, there are things that were never discussed in my home growing up. Not then and not for decades after.. I was after my dad died that I told my mother. But then she was in what I regard as a cult.. and slipping away from us all.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't care what people have. I'm more about how they treat you. I don't care about wealth, or the trappings of life. TO me the accumulation of wealth is like chains on your body; it's just more to worry about. I see how misled people are and how they worry of stuff that isn't going to last.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There were 2 'angels'. One Male and one Female. Another showed up, but I could not see them. They stopped the Female angel from telling me more , for fear of interfering with my free will. She was very concerned about me returning to earth. The Male angel was more hanging back. Like a big brother. There, protective, but not actively participating other than to say 'Do you want to stay or go'. Very supportive, loving, kind from both of them. Very personal and interested and protective. The next question states 'Did you see religious spirits> Religion never entered the picture. They never asked me what faith I was. I think they knew I had no religious education and therefore did not show me anything that might overwhelm me. When I say this experience is very personalized I mean they know everything about you. How you are raised, who your best friend is, etc. It's very detailed to YOU.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain the person who showed up to stop the Female angel. I could not see them. But they were definitely there, and I was 'cut off' from that conversation. I just got the impression that whatever she was going to show me, could interfere with my free well and my choice to stay in heaven or not, without being mean or judging, or admonishing me. A barrier was up (the sheet between us) and she just exuded love and a deep concern for my life on earth if I returned. I have no idea who stopped her, it could have been an arch angle or Jesus himself. I guess I find out when I go back.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It's so personalized. I can't stress that enough. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU and YOU alone. You are connected to everything. Every person you know. Every person you have not met yet, and when that connection hits you know it. You may not say, but you know it. Like my connection to the angels. I could have been their daughter. Not just someone who showed up. We were family. Connected for EONS. I felt loved and cherished. I wish we had words to express it. You are their sole focus. Your Happiness.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes In many ways. When I was in the void and called out to God.. that door showed up. That light I saw. When that person showed up to stop the lady angel from telling me more. That force, that presence was loving, and encouraging, and helpful. GOOD. And never admonishing, or hurtful. but guiding. Everything about it was Good, kind, supportive, caring.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes having my son. That was a purpose. I have to be his mom. Knowing about the coming war. that will occur in my life time and part of my purpose is comforting others. I think of NDE as an eyewitness and everything is taken care of. We just have to let go of all the little distractions. All the things like Road rage at strangers, and such. I still struggle with that.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Coming back to earth and having my son was a big priority. He had a job to do and I HAD TO BE HIS MOM. My values, experience, and psyche were all involved in his being able to do his job on this earth. He's 23 now. He has a very unpopular and specific interest, and it makes more sense to me now why I need to be his mom and not someone else. Children are predestined; even the abused ones. Life experiences sculpt them for their experience to raise their own children. That was clear to me during our discussion of going or staying and one of my goals being having my son later in life. I had him after the party time, after I grew up, when I was mature enough to handle it.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes This was 'home' I was home. I needed to do nothing more if i stayed. I didn't see any houses, but it was like earth. There were plants and trees and animals. No pets I recognized because at the time I died, no one in my family that I knew had died before. Both sets of grandparents were all living, my parents, siblings, friends, everyone. Not even pets had died, so there was no one I could 'meet' in heaven that proceeded me. If I chose to stay I knew I was going to be taken care of, by the most loving of people anyone could ever meet. That lady angel was like my grandmother or a favorite aunt. That place was 'home' and we do continue on. In a very loving, kind, peaceful, grace-filled habitat.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain how do I express this ? how do I use more words ? Short of being able to take you by the hand and having you live it . That's the only way. I wish I could express to people. Those who know say I have the patience of a saint now. Stuff that used to bug me to no end, just doesn't. I wait in line; I don't care about money LOL. All sorts of things.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was told my life was going to be a struggle. I had no clue what that meant. Digging ditches? I thought. As a 17 year old girl, who didn't even had a job yet, that was the worst thing I could think of. how horrible could it be? Ah but I was thinking in physical terms. The struggle she referred to was HEART BREAK. When someone you love dies, it is a daily struggle to get through one day. Some days are worse than others. I knew I had a short time, but just how short or who ? She was stopped from telling me. Because if I had been told I would lose the love of my life to murder, I may have decided not to go through that. It would have impacted everything that I have had to do in this life. Raising my son, who I had after I lost my loving Darrell. That's the struggle. Its emotional, Personal, impacting. Nothing physical matters. not your money, not your job, nothing else. Just how we impact people.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes While watching my mother who I thought hated me. Feeling her heart get torn in two at the thought of losing me. That hurt me as much as it hurt her. How much that lady angel loved me and didn't want me to go back. How she was my best friend. How protective that Male angel was and his strength and calm, like a big brother. Making sure we were okay in the background. So many instances. Even in the war scene that love of that soldier leading us to safety. it was all there.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am more patient. that was right off the bat. My sister and I were oil and water. we fought over everything. I was jealous of how much more my mother liked her than me. After my experience I didn't care about it anymore and my sis and I no longer fought. That change in personality was extreme. I don't care about money or material things. I'm not joking. I don't value people by what they have. I value them by how they treat people. I noticed I am more gullible as some would say. I am easily cheated. I don't like spending money because I don't care about it. The things that people hold in high esteem; I hold in low esteem. I don't understand their fixation on what they have, and how important that makes them. It's so vapid to me. Kindness first. Watch out for kids and make sure their okay. I am an excellent mom form what everyone says, even my ex-husband. I have very intolerant to sin. I try to understand why people think the way they think, most of it's from fear.. and a few other 'Gifts' that I got, like my extra electricity. I like to freak people out with that, and when I am caged I will still talk about God and his love for us all and how it's not too late. And this world is ending and a wonderful one is on its way.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My sister and I no longer fought, and my mother's favoritism for my sibling no longer impacted me like before. I also made sure to protect my own kids from her mind games. Something I would have never done before my NDE.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There is no words for how big that ceiling was. I can say 'as expansive as the sky' but you still have no idea. White White WHITE walls. The pillars. The vibrant colors. We don't have them on earth. there is no comparison. It's like everything after a rain is cleaner ? is even better than that. I loved it. I get happy talking about it !

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Nothing about it has changed. I remember it vividly.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I know who is on the phone before it rings. I know when someone I care for has died. I can sense people. Like how their feeling and adopt it. If they are upset I get upset too. To their same level. I didn't know about that for a long time.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being told about my son before he was born. That drove my mother in law nuts because I KNEW he was going to be a boy and she fought that till the day he was born. I could not tell her how I knew it, but my husband knew. I told him about my NDE. The angels and how they dressed. There was a comedy show that was making fun of a woman who said she saw angels. Then she described he Male angel I saw to a T=.. Flannel shirts and high top sneakers' I'll never forget that. In that moment I knew who and what I had been talking to. Other confirmations have occurred. At the time of my NDE I didn't know that NDE even had a name. It took me years to understand what happened and that it had a name and other people have them too. Across the globe, through every social, religious and economic barrier.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes but not for a long time. Not until I was in 30's. Mostly because I didn't feel I would be believed. I no longer care if I am believed or not. I told my husband while we were dating.. I told my mother at age 38. I told my kids from the time they could understand. I tell people when the topic comes up and their shocked they know someone who has had one.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real How do you go through something like that not know it's real ? this was no dream. I have never forgotten it. I just wish I had gotten the angels names. Other confirmations like the birth of my son, the change in my relationship to my mother, where we don't speak anymore, other things I was told coming true. The struggle of dealing with my fiancé's murder. That's one thing I wish I had been told about.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Meeting others and talking with others it echoes my experience. The light we saw, how clean heaven is. The love, the warmth the comfort, the lack of ego and fear of this world.. We all share that

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? This world is ending, and the best thing we can do is bring people to God. To know God, and be with God when their time comes. I got into nursing after my NDE. I have been a hospice nurse. I have been a patient listener to those in pain ,and I attribute my success in my career to the understanding I received during my NDE.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? none that I can think of.


Experience Description : 9215

It was summer and I was 17 years old. It all started because I got a tiny cut while playing flag-football with neighborhood kids. I ignored the cut because it was tiny, so I assumed it was nothing to worry about. On day 5, I had a fever, coupled with a red line running up my arm. My parents rushed me to the hospital emergency room. I passed out during an x-ray. I was put into a room by myself to observe me for the weekend.

While settling to sleep in the hospital bed, I had an experience that was a precursor for what was to come. I was alone in the dark at about 10 o'clock p.m. I recognized the spinning sensation. I turned onto my left side and grabbed the bed rail to not pass out again.

I didn't know anyone who had died; both sets of my grandparents and parents were all alive at the time this happened. I haven't even lost a pet yet.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 6/17/1981

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event?Yes. Illness. Out of body experience from septicemia.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I clearly left my body and existed outside of it.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Knowing things I could not have possibly known.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All of it. The highest part of consciousness and alertness would be with the female angel, the clothesline, and being aware everything they were telling me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. When the male angel who first greeted me said, 'Do you want to stay or do you want to go?' I felt like I had all the time in the world and I could take eons to make my decision. There wasno pressure to decide and time didn't register in my mind.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. On earth, I can look at a tree and see the exterior of the tree. But trees in heaven, I knew every branch, leaf and stem. I knew every animal that lived on the tree, from every bird, and squirrel, to every snail who ever had contact with the tree. My awareness was so much more than on earth.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Anytime I spoke to them or they spoke to me it was all telepathic, so there was no hearing involved. I did, however, have a sense of knowing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes They don't make a light bulb bright enough to describe this. I saw an absolutely all-encompassing, white light. The light seemed to have a life of its own. Iit permeated everything it. There's no way to describe this if you're surrounded by this brilliant light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. This place definitely didn't exist on Earth. For one, it was super clean with no graffiti or trash of any kind. It was spotless. It was as if they polished each blade of grass. The room was such a solid white. I have no idea what it was made of; it wasn't stone or marble. The texture was very smooth and white but it wasn't shiny. I knew that I was in an unearthly world because of the way the scenery unfolded where I could go from a solid white room to an open green field with the clothesline that had a sheet that went on for infinity.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was struck by the fact that I had no fear. For me, fear runs through my life like a tiny thread where I'm always threatened by something. There was no sense of ego, no anger and sense of upset it. I was content knowing that I had everything that I need or ever wanted. 'Joy' isn't the right word and neither does the word 'contentment.' It's hard to describe but it was absolutely peaceful and wonderful. I knew I could do anything while I was there.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I was looking out the enormous, windowless bay window and out at that huge, blue sky. I could see all the trees, grass and animals. There was a Oneness with all of that. I knew I belonged there. When I walked through that door, it was like walking into my own home where I was safe. I was part of my home and was returning to something that absolutely absorbed me. I had perfect understanding when the angel told me that I didn't have to worry about my mother being mad. Our relationship would be changing and that I didn't have to worry about this issue anymore. I instantly did not care what she thought. It was literally, a non-issue for me.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No. I thought of my mother and I was aware of her abusive nature toward me. I was worried that I would get in trouble from her if I stayed in heaven.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future. I was shown that I was with a group of people in a desert-looking area that had brick walls and sandbags. A soldier was leading us to safety. I have since learned that the square backpack he carrried was a satellite phone that had not been invented at the time of my NDE.

The angel told me that I had to have my son. And knowing it was way in the future, when I would be in my thirties. I did have my son at age 34, just like they told me I would.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. After I was shown a war, I made a conscious decision to come back. What made me decide to come back was my other self, the more knowledgeable self, saying, 'I have a lot of work to do'. I had no idea what that meant, but I understood that I had a job to do on Earth and it was important. As a 17 year old teenager, I didn't understand half the stuff I was told. I wasn't worried about all the warnings.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist Not only was I an atheist, but I was raised by an atheist.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? The things that I experienced in my NDE are in the King James Bible. This was my proof that the Bible is true. This experience has shaped my belief system.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian A bible-believing Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Being raised by an atheist, we didn't discuss death. I was told by children at school that if I died and wasn't baptized, that I would immediately be cast into the Lake of Fire into hell. None of that happened, despite that I was not baptised at the time of my experience. Everything I have learned about God since my NDE has completely ties in with what I experienced.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes. Knowing that God lives and heaven is real has impacted my decisions here on Earth. I know that we are in control of our decisions. We are all Souls, headed for the same destination and we all come from the same Source where all things come from God.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. There were two angels who were there with me. I was first met by the male angel who was dressed like a lumberjack with black, converse, high-top sneakers. I was laughing over this because, I mean, nobody wears those. I was amazed that he would choose that fashion choice. I still laugh about that. The female angel had on a yellow dress with blue flowers. The dress had short sleeves and a collar that bent down the front and the buttons were pearls. She had a 1950s hairstyle and little, light colored shoes. The female angel held a clothesline between us. I couldn't see or hear the third angel because I had no telepathic connection with it. The female angel was giving me a lot of information and the other angels were worried it was going to interfere with my free will, so she was stopped.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Having the feeling with a female angel that we had known each other and were best best friends for eons. I'm talking back when the planet was first formed, the volcano times. This tells me that we do have a pre-existence, and our lives are somewhat planned.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes When the female angel got stopped after she told me that there were choices I could make that can cost me my soul.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told about my son, 17 years before he was born. I was also told that my life would always be a struggle. I found out what that meant after the murder of my fiancé. That's why the struggle wasn't about food or money, because for me, it's a struggle of heartbreak. I having a lot of work to do and I'm pretty sure that has to do a spiritual work such as letting people know that near-death experiences are real.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. Being asked if I wanted to stay or if I wanted to go, knowing that the people waiting to greet me loved me for eons, even before the world was formed. There is life after death because I was there and we've been doing this process for a very long time and will continue to do so.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We all have things to do here on Earth. Some things are predestined, like being a parenthood. Our children are already assigned to us from before we were born.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes. Being shown War. Two of the things the female angel told me: Not only that my choices can cost me my soul but that my life would always be a struggle. She did not want me going back to Earth. Although she wasn't exactly trying to talk me out of it coming back to earth, she was letting me know it was going to be a difficult life.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life As a teenager and being an abuse victim. I had a lot of rage. I fought with my sister constantly. After my experience the rage was gone within days of being released from the hospital. My sister threw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at me and a chunk of it landed on my shirt. Rather than getting angry, I picked up the piece of sandwich and ate it. I never fought with my sister again and I have no animosity towards my mother.

After my NDE, I noticed I had more electricity in my body. I shock people who are walking next to me or when I shake their hands. I flip a light switch on it'll blow the light bulb sometimes. I now can now see ghosts, but I do my best to not encourage that kind of contact. I am more compassionate than I ever was before. I am much more likely to bring people home and make sure they have a warm place to stay and food, sometimes to my own detriment. I have a 100% belief in God, Heaven, and Hell. I'm a lot more patient. Another thing is that I have absolutely no concern for money. It doesn't mean a thing to me. Animals really seem to like me now. There's so many things that have changed, it's hard to list them all.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It's almost been 40 years since my NDE and I remember that as vividly as I remember the birth of my son. I vividly remember the detail the angel's faces. I wish I had gotten the Angels names but it never occurred to me to even ask because I felt like I knew them already.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I feel extra electricity around me. I am able to see spirits and hear disembodied voices. Sometimes, I know events before they happen, like knowing who's on the phone and it's only a few seconds warning. I have precognitive dreams too.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Finding out that my life will always be a struggle really meant the female angel was warning me. I was about to meet the love of my life; the person that I was to spend my life with. Maybe if she had told me he was going to be murdered, I would have shied away from the relationship. It was very important that we were together.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 7 years. I was raised by an atheist and we never discussed these things when I came back. This was also before TV and videos about the subject. I had no idea about the near-death experiences. I knew I didn't dream it and it took a long time to process that on my own. The first person I ever told was a boyfriend who wasn't a religious person. He believed me. I did tell my mother when I was 40 years old. I still don't think my mother really believed me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I had never dreamed of angels or heaven before. After having my near-death experience, I knew it was real. I couldn't prove or explain it. I couldn't even tell anybody, because I had no idea about God or heaven. I didn't see a tunnel. I saw a door - the same door that's described in Revelation 4:1. When I read that in the Bible, I about fell over!! Everybody talks about a colorful tunnel or seeing a light in the darkness, I saw a door and so did John who wrote Revelation. It's been an eye-opening experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. For one, the memories have never faded. When dreaming, sometimes I remember parts of it, and sometimes I can't remember anything.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes