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I was in a drug-induced coma; on a respirator and life support, after a pulmonary hemorrhage caused by severe lupus. I also had organ (kidney) failure and traumatic brain injury due to oxygen deprivation. I was not expected to live, but I came back completely healed from my lupus after my NDE. I have been totally well since, with no trace of Lupus since 2005. I was sent back well! I may have been clinically dead, as I had no brain function according to a scan. I was not expected to live and when I was disconnected from the respirator, I was suddenly in a dimly-lit room by myself. I noticed, in particular, that this room had a door, which I felt was special in some way. Then I became aware that I was no longer alone. God was there! I felt God as an all-encompassing presence, complete total and unconditional love in its highest form! Even though I saw no figure, there was no doubt in my mind that this was God. Then He spoke, and it was with such compassion: He said, 'Are you too tired?' I knew He was asking me if I was too tired to go through that door. Through that door would be my death. I do not recall my answer, whether God sent me back, or if I made the decision, but I do know I was given a choice. So it must have been my choice to come back. Miraculously, God sent me back WELL!! After many years of severe suffering with the pain and illness of lupus, when I came back, my lupus was completely gone! Since my NDE, all tests for lupus come up clear! This has been true every single day since my NDE.
Background Information:
Gender: Female
Date NDE Occurred: 2005 NDE Elements:
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness I may have been Clinically dead as I had no brain function on scan and was not expected to live when I was disconnected from the Respirator. 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I may have been Clinically dead as I had no brain function on scan and was not expected to live when I was disconnected from the Respirator. I had lupus and was in a severe flare up. I did not feel well after work, so I went to the emergency room. When I was with the nurse, I suffered a pulmonary hemorrhage and was coughing up blood. I choked and then couldn't breathe. The last thing I said was, 'I can't breathe, please help me.' Then I passed out. They took me to the Intensive Care Unit and put me in a drug-induced coma to help get oxygen in me. My brain swelled and showed no function due to oxygen deprivation. Later I was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury and possible stroke. I also had kidney failure. They gave me dialysis, plasma-phoresis and chemo. I was not expected to live. My family even gave away my pets. While I was unconscious I had an NDE. When they took me off the respirator I surprised everyone by sitting up and talking, even with the tracheotomy tube still in my throat. I have had no trace of lupus since my NDE and am well now, although I did need a lot of rehab for the brain damage.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was surrounded by the unconditional love of God, and it was so much greater than human love. I was given the sure knowledge that God is real, and loves me unconditionally.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I was with God. I still recall it very vividly.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The difference was being given the sure knowledge that God really exists and loves me unconditionally, and that I was given a choice about my death.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. God's voice when He spoke was so full of love and tenderness. I knew that it was God speaking to me.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I regard meeting God and hearing His voice as an unearthly event.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Great joy and love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There was a door that was closed in the room that I was in. I knew that it was the door to death and if I went through it, with God, I would die. It never opened and I did not go through it. God asked me if I was 'too tired'. I knew that was His way of giving me the choice of going with Him, to my death.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No There was a door to death but I did not go through it. I recall I had been worrying about my pets when I was in the coma, and wanted to get home to care for them. I did not know they had already been given away when I had not been expected to live. I am not sure if that might have been a small part of the reason I wished to go back. It could have been a factor in my decision, as I loved my cats and wanted to make sure they were alright. God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I spend more time with God, in prayer and meditation, and I enjoy this time very much.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed in God but was delighted to understand that He is Real
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I spend more time with God, and in prayer and meditation, and I enjoy this time very much.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I met God and He spoke to me. He surrounded me with love and gave me a choice to go with Him to death or not.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I was in God's presence but he was Love, and a voice but not in a visual form
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I was given the complete understanding that God is real, He exists and He is Love.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I was given the certain knowlege that God is real and He exists, and he was there to take me on to the afterlife, though, since I came back, I did not go far enough to know what it is, except that God is Real and He is Total Love.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Just the Knowlege that God is Love.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I have a greater connection with God and enjoy my spiritual life very much. The knowledge that God is Love.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It continues to be a very clear memory
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Sometimes I experience 'The peace of God that passes all understanding.' I received many miracles of healing from God, so I know that God still works miracles today, both for me and for others.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The most meaningful part is the knowledge given to me that God exists and is real, and that He is love.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few friends only.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read the Moody book.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real, and still do. One proof to me is that God sent me back well.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real, and still do. One proof to me is that God sent me back well.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Sometimes I experience 'The peace of God that passes all understanding.' I received many miracles of healing from God, so I know that God still works miracles today, both for me and for others.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I received many miracles of healing from God, so I know that God still works miracles today, both for me and for others.
I believe there was so little hope for my survival that my pets were even given away. I had years of joint pain from Lupus, having a hard time walking, working. I was always in pain and very tired. One day at work, I felt so ill that I stopped at the emergency room after work. As I was speaking to the nurse, I coughed and was hemorrhaging blood. My lungs filled up. The last thing I remember saying was to the Nurse, ‘Help me, I can't breathe’. Then I thought, 'OH! Is this my Death?' I was surprised. I had not planned to die that day, just go to work. Then I guess I passed out. They got me to the Intensive Care Unit; put me on a respirator and into a drug-induced coma to get Oxygen into me. I had dialysis and plasma-phoresis. All I remember from the coma was worrying about my cats. I knew I was in the hospital, and I was wondering how I could get out of bed, get to my car and go home to feed my cats. I did not know that I had by then be transferred to another hospital. I also did not know that since I was not expected to live, my cats had already been given away.Next, I was suddenly in a room that was rather dim. I was alone, and there was a door there. Somehow, I knew that if I went through that door, I would die. Then I was no longer alone. God was with me. He was a warm, loving presence of complete Love. It was joy to be with Him. But He was just a presence, no figure; but there was No Doubt that this was God. Then He spoke. He said, ‘Are you too tired?’ I knew that He was asking me if I wanted to come with Him, through that door, and on to death. I don't recall my answer. I don't know to this day, if I asked to come back or He sent me back. I came back, and I came back to a Miracle. They disconnected the Respirator. They still had the tracheotomy in my throat, and suddenly I surprised them all by sitting up and talking! I said, 'Why am I speaking like this?' I was speaking gravelly. They took out the tracheotomy. From the Brain Damage, I had to have years of therapy to speak, dress myself, dial a phone, do basic things. For a time I had to live in a nursing home until I could dial a phone walk again and dress myself. My Kidneys came back, and so did my brain. I now am retired, as I could not work. I have some issues now with dyslexia and math and telling time, but my speech is perfect, I live alone, drive, pay bills and even can Write (I am a writer). Best of all, God sent me back in perfect health; I have 8 years now completely free from Lupus. I am healed. I believe, but the docs make me see them frequently to keep an eye on me. I know I have been granted a Miracle and that I am well and I no longer have Lupus. Also, besides Kidney failure, I was also granted a miraculous recovery from Liver failure caused by Tylenol. Another one the docs can't explain. When that happened they said I'd be gone in a few days if I didn't get a transplant, but the next day, they said, ‘your liver is coming back!’ My liver has been just fine, too. Anyway, it's all in my medical records if you are interested. I am a lucky woman. I had faith in God when this happened, but now my faith is much deeper, because I know now that He exists and works Miracles today for people the same day He did when He was on earth. I read Anita Moorjani's book and decided to post my story on your site after I read hers. Maybe my story can help someone who suffers from Lupus.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Not sure if clinically dead, not expected to live, no brain function on scans. Also Kidney failure.' 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' 'Not sure if clinically dead, not expected to live, no brain function on scans. Also Kidney failure.' I had a pulmonary hemorrhage, I was very sick from Lupus. I also had kidney failure as I was dialyzed and also given Plasma-phoresis. My brain swelled and I think my diagnosis also was Traumatic Brain Injury. I was placed in a drug-induced coma in ICU to get more oxygen in me. My family was told I would not live.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I didn't go anywhere, I wasn't with God long. I had no life review saw nothing; got no special information. It was just being with God and then I was back, it was not very long but it was lovely.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was with God in the room with the door. It was just love.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was just surprised to be in the room. It was different than anywhere I had been before and somehow I knew it was not the hospital but that the door was the ‘door to death’, I don't know how I knew that.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Oh, well that's hard to explain. It was the voice of God, it was very tender and very loving. When He asked if I was too tired, it was said with such compassion.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes God. His Presence and his voice were with me but I did not see Him. He was total love and was willing to take me with Him if I was too tired.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place A dim room with nothing in it but me and a closed door. I knew it was the ‘door to death’. I had never been there before. Then I was not alone and God came.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Great joy and love. I felt very loved and cared for in a tender way.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No But I did feel united with God.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No I am not sure. I know I was given a say in the decision by God. I knew that the door, if I went through it with God, meant I would die. I don't recall if He sent me back or if I asked to go back. God, Spiritual and Religion:
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Much more devoted to prayer, closer relationship with God, like reading the Bible; but I am not here to preach. I do know God wants me to tell people what happened, in case it might help them in any way. But that's up to them, not me.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I thought when you went to heaven, people came to get you (dear departed) or maybe you saw Jesus, or went through a tunnel and a light, but none of that happened to me so it was not what I thought of previously of what a near-death expreience was or what people had talked about or imagined.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My faith became much deeper. I feel connected to God and feel He is always with me, so I pray daily now and talk things over with Him, I rely on Him, He is My God.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Again, God came and spoke to me and asked me if I was too tired and I knew He was asking me if I wanted to come with Him into death.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes God. His Presence and his voice was with me but I did not see Him. He was total love and was willing to take me with Him if I was too tired.
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes God does Exist, He came to me. He was a presence of such supreme, unearthly love and compassion that there is no Human emotion to match it. I have no Doubt that I was in the Presence of God. I felt His Being, and I heard his voice: He said only one thing in a voice of complete tender compassion: are you too tired? and I knew He was asking me if I was ready to go with Him through the door to death. I was never afraid just in awe wonder and joy.
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I now know that God exists and so I am sure there is life after death now. Once you meet God, your view of things change. I became more devoted to my faith and not afraid of death; and am comforted to know that there is a God who loves us and takes us with him when we die. I feel better about those I have lost who I miss. I am not sure about people who don't believe, that I don't know. I just came home needing to tell people that God is real and that they need to understand that he really exists.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I now Know that God existed and so I am sure there is life after d'th now. Once you meet God, your view of things changes. I became more devoted to my faith and not afraid of death, and am comforted to know that there is a God who loves us and takes us w
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Only that God is Love and Loves me
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life About the last few Questions: I was very fearful about my illness before, now I am not. I know all is in God’s hands and I don't worry about my health any more. I came back about the same except more faithful. I have a need to tell people that God is real. I want to be more compassionate but I think about the same, still a regular person with the usual feelings, challenges emotions and problems any person has. I am still me!
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I like people of faith or those who've had a spiritual journey. My friends and family are still the same. Not everybody likes talking about God so I have some new friends who are more comfortable talking about such topics. After the NDE:
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I recall every detail with total clarity it had never faded,
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have had a few spiritual gifts since I came back. I have been granted ‘The peace of God that passes all understanding,’ which is a favor that is hard to explain to people unless you have experienced it, but just occasionally.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Only it is nice to know that God is real and I am so grateful that He granted me a miracle of complete healing from Lupus after all these years; recovery from the brain damage and also gave me back my kidneys and liver. It is wonderful that He sent me back well. I don't think People have to die to get this. I now am sure that they need only believe, and ask, and there is a good chance God will answer their prayers. I didn't understand this before. As long as it does not oppose His will, and he is Kind, He does answer prayer. I know this from experience now since I have been back.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some people it seems to mean a lot, but others are skeptical. I can understand that to them it is just a story and they are not able to hear the fact that God exists. But I always hope that maybe a seed of wondering has been planted, and maybe in their time of need, they might think if turning to God and giving Him a try. Maybe they will recall how well it worked out for Anne! I told people right away as soon as I could talk. It seems I have a need to tell people about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I read that Moody book once. That was why I was surprised mine was not like that book. I saw no tunnel, light, angels, or dearly departed. It was just me and God in a room with a door. Not even Jesus, just a presence.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Well, I just knew it was real. I had no doubt at all about it. Also, the fact that I lived and came back completely well in a way that even the doctors used the word ‘Miracle’, well, I knew. In fact, when I could talk one of the ICU docs came in and said, ‘Anne, we had a little trouble with you.’ I said, ‘Thank you, Doctor, for saving my Life.’ He replied, ‘I didn't save your life. I couldn't. God saved your life.’
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Nobody can really explain why I am in complete remission from Lupus since I came back. The medical students like to meet me, they always say in kind of a shocked voice: ‘I looked at your chart!’ and I laugh and tell them, ‘I am a Miracle and I know it!’
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? God is Love and Loves me. It is important now for me to tell people that God is real and He exists. I thought when you went to heaven, people came to get you (dear departed) or maybe you saw Jesus, or went through a tunnel and a light, but none of that happened to me. It was not what I thought of previously of what a near-death experience was or what people had talked about or imagined. I recall every detail with total clarity it has never faded.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Wow. It was long! Hard to finish. I apologize for any typing mistakes, it is still very hard for me but I am done and thanks, I enjoyed it.
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