Anni S NDE

Experience Description

I had my near death experience in the summer of 1974, when I was thirty years old. I had a serious headache and going to the hospital to see if I had a brain tumor. I was to be hospitalized for a couple of days. During the examination, one of the doctors inserted a needle into the back of my neck to blow air in. The needle hit my central nervous system by accident, causing my pulse to become abnormal. At that point, the doctor should have stopped his treatment. But he proceeded. He hit a wrong place again. Established protocol said that he was only allowed to insert a needle twice, but he did it five times. The result was that my central nervous system was hit several times and was damaged. I was mostly unconscious for a month. I don't remember anything from that month except my near death experience.

The first thing I experienced was that I could suddenly see my body from above. I saw that the doctors were incredibly busy treating me, but I didn't understand. I felt wonderful and light where I was. I had no pain and no problems.

This was evidence to me that the soul can leave the body. I clearly remember that I hovered over the doctor who conducted the treatment. He had gone home after work and was lying in his bed. I went into his home and saw him. I could see that he had nervous tics, and I knew telepathically that he was thinking of me. I felt so sorry for him and I thought, 'I wish I could straighten all the nervous tics, because I feel gorgeous.' I saw that he went to the toilet several times. I remember that he had problems with urination. While I was there, I noticed the arrangement of his home and the furniture around him.

Later, when I recovered, I told the doctor about my visit. I told him about the arrangement of his home and the furniture. I told him of his urination problem. He was stunned because all that I said was true. Later, when I recovered further, I visited him. I saw that everything was as I had experienced it. At one point, I asked if I could use his toilet. He rose in order to show me where it was. I told hime that he didn't have to show me because I had been there before in the out of body state.

Back to the experience. After hovering around at earth, I went through a tunnel. At the end of the tunnel there was a light so indescribably strong. It was nothing like an earthly light. I went to a peaceful place. It was so beautiful that I thought, 'The earth is like a film that hasn’t been developed. Not until we reach the other side, is the film developed,. Everything will be seen in beautiful colors that don't exist here on earth.' I saw a beautiful meadow. There were flowers and colors that were so fantastic that our earthly brain can't comprehend it. The colors we have here on earth are very pale in comparison to the colors I experienced in the spiritual realm.

The people we claim are dead stood completely alive in front of me. But they looked younger than I experienced them on earth. At the same time there was a kind of a fog over their faces. But I knew it was them. I wanted to approach them, but I heard telepathically that it was not the right time. And then I was pulled back.

Afterwards, I had various spiritual experiences. They were correlated to one another. It was like a movie shown in clips. During one of the clips, I saw a portal that was like an arch. I felt that it was the arch of life. It wasn't ostentatious, but it was very simple. The arch opened so that I could look in. There I saw the whole meaning of life. I thought it was so simple that I couldn't understand why I hadn't thought of it. It was so simple that even a child could understand it. Unfortunately, I forgot it, But I do know there is a meaning of life.

I flew on. Then I was shown various clips from past lives. I had never before related to reincarnation. I had grown up in a family of non-believers, but I always felt Jesus in my heart.

I saw that I had a life as an Indian. I was so strong and powerful. I experienced the whole Indian life and I sensed that I was a man. I lived in harmony with nature and it felt like a wonderful life. Later in that life I was at war with others. I experienced falling into a hole where there were some dead people. But I was not dead. There was a nauseous and extremely noxious smell where I was lying.

Then things shifted to a new clip. I flew over a figure of Christ standing with open arms.

Then I experienced another life. I lived in a hut constructed on poles. There was no furniture, but there were mats on the floor. We were six, very beautiful and young girls. It was a wonderful time. We were there to please men, but it was all nice and decent. We were in harmony with nature.

Then there was another clip. I saw that I lived in France within the aristocracy. I was very arrogant, and definitely not a person I like. I was a big girl with a fine, white dress. I stood with my family and was about to be executed. Around us were a lot of dirty, gross people. They mocked us and spit on us. I thought, 'Mob! Mob!' Then there was a clip. I must have been beheaded. I saw the mob walking with a wooden vessel, flushing away the blood and dirt. Then there was another clip. It was all silent and peaceful. I saw the sun. That life was a terrible experience.

After that, a loving Being who was standing behind my left shoulder, showed me my current life. The love was so strong that I dared not turn around, but I think it was Jesus.

I was shown my life from birth to unconsciousness. I saw myself on the wrong side. I was not as good as I thought I was and was ashamed of myself. But the Being of love didn't judge me. He just supported me and gave me love. I saw not only the ACTIONS I had done, but also the THOUGHTS I had sent out. And the thoughts meant more than the actions. That surprised me. I hadn't thought it would be like that. It was scary. It's very good to do good deeds towards others, but the feelings and thoughts you send to them count more. For instance, it is bad to smile politely at someone while sending negative thoughts to them.

As you sow, you shall reap. I found out that there was too little for me to reap. I guess that was why I wanted to go down and finish my earthly life. There was so much that I had to do. I had to improve as a human being. I had to go down to sow in order to reap. I hadn't sowed much until then. I could see that. I was really ashamed of seeing myself. First and foremost, I had to sow love. Today it is the most important commandment to me.

I was also shown the good things I had done. In my childhood there was in the vicinity of my home a path where meth drinkers gathered. When I was walking with my dog, as I was about to pass them, instead, I sat down and talked with them. They were surprised that I wanted to be with them. I told them that there was someone who loved them, and that it was Jesus. I knew that Jesus loved these meth drinkers, and I felt they gave me so much love. They loved me for the person I was. I began going to their homes with them, and I cleaned for them. They lived in a little wooden hut in the moor. I picked flowers so their hut could be cozy, and I loved being of service. I enjoyed being together with these people. All this I was now shown again, and it counted as one of the good deeds I had done.

In connection with my life review, I saw an episode from my childhood when I was 10 or 11 years old. This episode was the cause of a deep psychic wound stemming from a father complex. In my childhood, I did everything to please my father. Before my near death experience I never understood why he suddenly distanced himself from me. But when I saw my life review, I understood.

I saw a girl who was me. We were going to my paternal grandfather's birthday party. Spontaneously I said, 'I don't want to go because grandpa is going to die.' My father was terror-stricken. I got a slap in the face, the only one in my life. Yet, I still didn't want to go. I told my father that I had a headache, so I was allowed to stay home. At 9:50 p.m., the clock in the living room stopped. I said, 'Well, now grandpa is dying.' I couldn't sleep despite going to bed.

At 1:30 a.m. my parents arrived. My father came into my room. He looked at me with strange eyes. Then he said, 'Grandpa is dead.' To me is wasn't a dreadful or unnatural thing, for I knew that grandpa was going to die. But my father was shocked. From that time on, it felt that he was afraid of me so he distanced himself. I developed some emotional blocking. I did everything to please him. I didn't know what had caused his distancing. But I found out when I saw my life review.

When I was in the spiritual realm, I saw that I had to return to earth in order to finish many things. There was a loving Being beside me. It wasn't anything visible, but I could sense it. It was a kind of spirit or soul. It showed me what I had to return to, my further course of life. But I have not retained that either.

My first thought was, 'I can easily endure that.' I was so strong because I had that loving Being at my side. But slowly, the loving being disappeared. I was sent back through the same tunnel that I had come through earlier. I returned to the hospital room where my body lay. I was under the ceiling. I could see the doctors busily treating me.

Now, I was afraid. I resisted as I didn't feel like coming back to the body. I wanted to stay in the spiritual world, because there I was happy and felt fine. But I did come back. And that was really cruel, because it felt as if I was strapped into a strait-jacket after I had been able to move freely. I felt terrible pain. I couldn't feel coldness, warmth or anything. I only felt pain and had spasms.

It felt as if I had split into two persons. On one hand, I was in the body with all the pain. On the other hand, I had all the spiritual experiences that lived so vigorously in me.

When I returned to the body I obtained a new gift that I had to learn to relate to. I could sense and see what other people contained. It was as if I had clear-sightedness. I could go through them and experience their feelings and thoughts. I quickly sensed that the doctors at the hospital weren't honest with me. That frustrated me because at that time I believed in authorities. I believed what doctors said. But suddenly, I could see that they weren't telling the truth. I could see that they spoke out of their own egoism. Some doctors said that I was hysterical because I reacted to my pain. But I could see in their eyes that what they said in words didn't fit with their thoughts and feelings. That frightened me.

I am convinced that the spiritual experiences were given to me in order to help me through all the difficult years in connection with my disease. All the experiences and all the power that God gave me when I was unconscious, is transmitted so strongly to my mind. This has helped me to endure all the terrible pain. I remember once I was hospitalized with a concussion after an epileptic seizure. The doctor was looking in my journal. Then he said aloud and mostly to himself, 'But how can you sit there? You should be dead!' Then I told him that if I hadn't had a lot of spiritual experiences that had given me the faith in Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be sitting here. That made him a little embarrassed and he hurried on reading the journal.

I have never doubted that it was true what I experienced. After my disease I wanted to be earth-bound. I tried to use my logic and tell myself that it was hallucinations. But I couldn't do that and I still can't. When it is so clear in my memory after so many years (44 years), it can't be hallucinations.

My near death experience has become the foundation of my life. After being unconscious, I have been through so much pain that I have thought of the loving Being I met. I could fetch so much power from that memory that I could endure the pain. By thinking of the love Being and my past lives I could find the strength to live. The loving Being is the strongest thing in my life. I can always draw on it. If it hadn't been there, I'm sure I wouldn't have endured being here on earth. When over the years, I have had such an intense pain that I couldn't endure it, I asked for help. I have often experienced a reply that I felt something warm that embraced me like a cloak. And that gave me strength to go through the pain.

God has helped me in my misfortune. He never left me. He has given me powers undreamt of to fight the physical and mental pain. Sometimes I felt that the more intense the pain, the greater is God. God is almighty. God is so fantastically great.

The near death experience has made me feel that I don't belong here. I feel that I'm on a charter trip down here and that I belong to the spiritual world. I am grateful and happy for my family and my friends, and I live more intensely today than I did before. But I appreciate each year I get older, for then I know that I come closer to death and the spiritual world. We are all on such a charter trip on earth. Our true home is in the spiritual world with God. That is our point of origin. And we're all going back to our true home when we have fulfilled our tasks on the charter trip.

When I had to go back to earth, I realized that there is a meaning of life on earth. Life is like schooling. It can be incredibly tough, but we must not forget that the more good things we can sow, the more we will reap when we leave from here. The school of life is like a trip on earth. There are certain things we have to do on the trip.

When I returned to my body, I thought that from this day forward I was going to be 'oh so good.' But it wasn't like that. I haven't become a much better person. I do many mistakes each day. But I have become aware of which thoughts I send out, and I know that love and positive thoughts is what means something here on earth. I've become aware how important it is to be loving and to send loving thoughts, to be helpful, to be present and to listen. The most important thing is not to strive unceasingly to get higher up the so-called social ladder. We should not strive to win power, honor and money. All those things don't mean anything when we are going to have our life review.

The most important assignment in life is love. I learned to begin with myself and create warm, human and loving vibrations. First, I unclutter my mind. It hurts so much from the hawthorns and dirt in my soul. After that, I can begin opening up to others and shining to others, like the sun. If I can let the sun, the power of God, shine in me, then I will begin opening by virtue of the warmth that God gives me. And then I can give love. Then I can give something to everyone.

Many people commit suicide in our time. I understand them. If I hadn't had all the spiritual experiences that I've had, I think I would also have committed suicide. The spiritual experiences gave me strength to live on. I believe that the people who commit suicide will have a hard time at their transition to the spiritual world. But we must not condemn them, for they are very unhappy people. God knows that. They simply haven’t been able to endure life on earth and God understands that.

There are things we do not understand in our human form. And there are things that we are not SUPPOSED to understand. This is because our small brains cannot contain the greatness of God.

Suiciders will absolutely not meet any condemnation on the other side. We wouldn't condemn our children if they committed suicide. If we condemn our children, we condemn quite a bit in ourselves. I don't condemn someone I love because I love out of unconditional love and not out of egoism. I love my children so much, that I wouldn't condemn them but help and support them. And God will do that too. Of that I am quite certain. God will help those poor souls get through all the difficult stuff.

I don't believe there is an eternal damnation. Because God is towards us like a good father is towards his children. If a child is unreasonable or does many terrible things, will a good father disown that child and send it out in the cold? No, he won't. Our spiritual father will not do that to us either. God will not disown anybody.

If there is a hell, then it is that we see of ourselves with all the negative thoughts that we have sent out. When we leave earth, we are going to judge ourselves. We will see ourselves with a clear-sightedness beyond compare. It was a very scary process for me.

It won't be easy for the people who have taken their own lives to see their life review. For their roots are chaos. These people can't find out what is the cause of their problems. Unconsciously they put a lid on their inner chaos because they can't endure facing it. But God will take care of their souls, and he will help them to be free. That is quite certain.

My spiritual experiences have taught me that we must not condemn other people. We have no right at all to do that. When I saw how impure I was, I realized that we must not condemn other people, no matter who they are. It all comes back to us; if not in this life then when we are going to review our lives. Nor should we tell other people how they should live their lives. We have no right to do that. But one of the best things we can do is to send them loving thoughts.

We must not condemn other people when they do something wrong. They haven't experienced themselves as I did. Until I experienced myself on the wrong side, I was unaware of how I really was. Therefore: NEVER JUDGE YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEING, BUT TRY TO UNDERSTAND!!!

God is so great, and he really wants to contact us. But it's difficult for God to come through to us because we are egoistic and materialistic. We block him in that way. It is not the intention of God that all the evil in the world , like wars, is going to happen. It´s caused by our human egoism and self-centeredness. We contain both good and evil. Our task is to see to it that evil doesn't prevail. We have a responsibility for our lives here on earth.

We should stop striving to reach so much at the earthly level, because it is only a short while we are here. When I had my life review, it was as if life on earth only lasted for a second. But we live as if we were going to be here for hundreds of years.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1974

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes The doctor inserted a needle into my back of my neck five times, and that was a life-threatening event.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It cannot be compared. I saw and understood everything completely clearly. I had way more knowledge and understanding than in my normal everyday life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I met the loving Being. I experienced pure love.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No Time was something completely different from what it is here on earth. It was as if time was canceled.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was completely clear, much clearer.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was much more clear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes. I saw deceased spirits, but not religious spirits.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes, it was a light that was very strong and peaceful.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt an incredible peacefulness, comprising joy and Happiness. Furthermore, I felt shame during my life review.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I understood the whole meaning of life.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic. Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I live with my belief every day. It is the foundation of my life. I spent half an hour a day meditating. I clean my soul, because during my life review I saw how unclean I was.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths, the belief in love.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes. Money and material goods suddenly didn't mean anything to me. I became completely unconcerned about these things.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I met the love Being who spoke telepathically to me. I also heard a voice calling me saying that I had to go back to my body. It said, 'Come, my child. You have to go back.' I couldn’t see to whom the voice belonged.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I experienced three past lives.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I got a feeling that I was in harmony with the whole universe.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There was a pure, loving being. In a way, the loving Being was God. God was in the loving Being. God is pure love.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes My personal purpose was to develop. Life on earth is schooling. As you sow, you shall reap.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes But I have not retained it. The insight that I got there, I cannot remember.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We should be positive and loving toward one another.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I learned how important love is. I learned that love is more about the THOUGHTS and FEELINGS we send to other people, than the deeds we do to them, although the deeds are also important.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I lived more intensely. Life became more valuable to me. My consciousness became stronger. I got bad consciousness when I sent negative thoughts. I became more aware of how important it is to send positive thoughts to my fellow human beings. My sixth sense was strengthened. I sensed intuitively what people contained like their thoughts, feelings and problems. I learned living in the now. We must not forget living life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have become aware that I must not condemn other people. I have become better at sending positive energies to other people. Although, I can see their flaws. Besides I have become a bit of an hermit. However there are a few people whose company I appreciate.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are no words to describe it the right way. To me, the best way to describe it is in metaphors.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It is printed into my memory.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have developed the ability to read people's mind. I have become able to read people. In dreams, I often get information about events in the past of certain people. Besides I can see deceased individuals.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When I saw myself on the wrong side and the loving Being was beside me and sent me pure love.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes But not all understand it. It has been very lonely. I guess people have felt sorry for my husband, because he had to live with such a woman.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No. Absolutely not.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I have never doubted that it was true what I experienced. It was not a hallucination. When it is so clear in my memory after 44 years, it can’t be a hallucination.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No