Anthony P Possible NDE

Experience Description

I was born with an ASD with failure to thrive. My doctors doubted I would survive long enough for them to consider it safe for me to have surgery. I was coloring a picture and I could not get it the way I wanted it and became very angry. My Mom was on the phone and not paying attention. I got very angry. The next I remember was laying on the couch with Mom and Dad around me. I was covered in blankets and was so very, very painfully cold.

Dad became very upset and took me to the hospital.

My Mom told me they said I had Acute Heart Failure and I would not live through the night. I would be dead by morning. She said she prayed and then fell asleep. She told me she woke up the next morning so ashamed that she fell asleep while her child died.

I remember nothing between lying on the couch and seeing the Pretty Lady in White.

Sometime in the night a very pretty lady in white sat on my bedside, the side by the window. The side of the bed where there was a very narrow gap between the window and the bed and none of the nurses ever came to the rest of the time I was there.

All I remember is she was very pretty, loving, very mommy-like and dressed all in white but it was not a nurses uniform.

The next morning, I was awake, sitting up in bed and playing in the (1963) oxygen tent. It was kind of like camping out or being in a cave. Latter someone brought me small cars to play with.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1963

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Acute heart failure 2/2 ASD Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Bright white. Emotional awareness of the lady's kindness—mommy-ness. Awareness of another person's person.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was looking at the Pretty Lady in White. Everything was bright. But now that I think about it, I don't remember If I saw anything in the room but her.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hyper real. There were clear cut lines, pure light, awareness of self and what it must have been like before we were separated from ourselves in the Fall.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Don't think I heard anything. Just felt mommy-ness.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes OK...imagine light that has never touched anything, or came from anything but itself. Light that is just light, not a product of this or that. It was Light not on the spectrum; just light that is just light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love. Wonder. Awe. No... not Awe; not Wonder...that's me looking back now. Love. Such wonderful love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I was three at the time. Not much more than Jesus loves me this I know, and now I lay me down to sleep.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I was three. I kept saying my prayers.

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic I am a convert to Catholicism. Converting has led me, over time, to reconsider the Pretty Lady at my bedside. I do not mean I have changed what happened, but just wonder now if the pretty lady may have been someone I never considered as a protestant.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was three. Jesus loved me, this I knew, Mommy and Daddy loved me, and this Lady loved me. My brothers seemed willing to let me live.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I was three. Not a lot to compare it with. I will repeat that after that I was very aware of God in the 'there and then' and not somewhere in the sky.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Like I said. A pretty lady in white that loved me so very much.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Now that I am a Catholic I have to wonder if it wasn't just an angel. I have to wonder if it was Mother Mary. At the time it wasn't "Oh yes. Of course, this is an angel/Mother Mary. How sweet of her to drop by." She was a very pretty lady who loved me. That's all.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The pretty lady in white loved me very much and everything would be fine.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Now that I write this I find myself reconsidering things. After that event I was very aware that the Christian God existed. There was an awareness of Him.

As I entered into my teen years, He became a bit of a burden. I was "God Haunted". I would lay in bed and wish I had never lived because I knew there was a God, and that was a problem.

I became a Christian in 1977 at age 17. I was very angry at the world and everyone in it. I was chubby with acne, couldn't catch a ball or through one, and aware of the God soaked nature of the universe. There was no escape. During the alter call I held on so tight to the pew in front of me. Just a bit longer I told myself, hold on just a bit longer, the preachers going to wind it up very soon.

He didn't. He just kept going. God kept calling. I kept holding on to the pew.

I was angry at the world and at God. I just had to hold on a little bit more. Then I heard a voice clearly in my head, "This is it. This is your last chance." I gave in.

I have dealt with anger all my life. Sometimes as a physician assistant it comes in handy because many a time I've had to go fight for my patient. I firmly believe if I hadn't given in, I would have been dead or in jail before I was 20.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain but more so.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain This will sound silly, but how do you really share with someone else (you) an experience--an experience that is not "like this" or "felt like that" except only in a very shallow way.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember a birthday cake with circus animals on it--sort of. Maybe I saw a photo. I remember running around the corner of the house and running smack into the front of a car that had those cones (like Madonna's bra) on the bumper. Point of bumper boobs hit me square in the eye. Those are vague. The memory of the pretty lady is sharp.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Again, can't really compare before and after because I was three. I do seem to have a strong sense of empathy, which has come in very handy when treating my patients.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I spent a lot of time in hospitals before, during and after my surgery. Time alone and having to fend for myself against the nurses with needles and techs with tubes and hoses. I have felt abandoned for a lot of my life. The Lady's love means a lot to me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes One, or maybe two, close friends decades later.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Didn't think much of it. It wasn't until decades years later when I really started thinking about it. It happened and it was real. I had to get older to start wondering what it meant.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Well. I was there. I believe in an objective reality. The way it happened. She was sitting on the side of the bed no one went down the narrow space between the bed and the window. She was in white but not wearing a nurse's uniform. What was she wearing? I don't know for sure. I don't think most 3 year old children pay that much attention to clothes. Maybe a gown?

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It has been so nice to really think about it. To stop and really remember. Sweet...

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? all good