Aridai STE

Experience Description

At the time of my experience, I was a workaholic. On top of my regular 40 hours a week of work, I was developing a forensic project along with the government to find missing (dead) people in my country. This took another 20 to 30 hours of my week. I also practiced martial arts and lifted weights when I wasn't occupied with my friends. I was so busy that I was unaware of my health issues.

The final straw was a fight with a person from the government who was helping me to develop the forensic project. I spiraled emotionally and went to therapy. I realized that I was living a life that was not sustainable. Nothing made sense to me anymore; so, on October 18, 2021, I abandoned the project, left my job, stopped exercising, and ended a relationship. I went to sleep at 12:00am.

I remember arriving in an empty place. There was literally nothing; no space, no time, no sky, no floor. Suddenly, I became aware that there was someone standing on my left side and we started walking through a gallery. There were an infinite number of squares with a path in the middle. Each square had scenes from my life that was playing simultaneously. Each square had depth and colors of red, orange and yellow.

The entity with me started explaining what was happening. I felt completely in peace with myself. I felt that no matter what that everything was okay and nothing could hurt me. Then, we started entering those squares from the gallery, one by one. I remember one the scene from one square from the time when I was a child.

We went inside this square and suddenly I gained complete awareness of the situation. My grandma was beating me. I was on the floor, but also I was somehow inside everything, like I was in another dimension. I had a 360-degree perspective. Then I noticed that the Being next to me had no shape; but it was made of light. I could see the golden threads of reality. I could feel everything. I felt the beating and the pain I endured. I felt the rage of my grandma. This made me quite sad, although everything was fine and somehow nothing could affect me. I never thought that someone could feel that way towards me. At the same time, the Being was explaining to me what was happening.

After the scene ended, we went outside and repeated the same activity in each of the squares until we reached the end. Then I saw a big square in front of me. I saw a couple and the back of a man. I was ready to enter the square alone. Suddenly, I was in another place.

I don't know how I arrive there or why it happened since I was ready to enter what, I guess, was my next life.

Yet, I was standing in front of Vishnu. He was seated on grass in the lotus pose and wearing only a brown loincloth. Behind him there were clouds; the sky was pink and gold in color. At that moment I experienced a feeling that I cannot describe because I have never experienced it here on earth. I felt absolute peace; there was no pain, no suffering, and everything was fine. He explained to me that I was in a place that was above good and bad. Those things I saw are human but do not 'exist'. He showed me 'pain' which seemed like a separate dimension, which is dark and heavy. He also told me that he doesn't need sacrifices, nor any kind of ritual, and that we are free. We are free to do whatever we want, whatever that is, because ultimately it doesn't matter. He was holding a wooden spoon on his right hand and a white flower on his left hand. He had no navel. He didn't use words to communicate, and somehow it was all knowledge that I was receiving. Vishnu's eyes were bigger than those from a human and his body was thin, long, and deep blue. His skin seemed thick and dry. When I started trying to make sense of everything, his face changed. At first the face resembled that of my therapist; then it looked like my face, then it looked like other people. The face wasn't changing shape, but I could see how others resemble him. So, I asked him who he is. He told me while giving me a peaceful smile, that he is all of us. He then asked me if I wanted to comeback. I understood that somehow we come to earth to experience everything there is to experience, such as pain, suffering, Happiness, and pleasure. Because those things don't exist there, these things we experience on earth are not real.

As he smiled at me, I opened my eyes and I realized that I wasn't breathing. I stared at the ceiling while I could feel air slowly entering my lungs while the feeling of peacefulness vanished. I grabbed my phone and it was 1:00am.

I remained silent about that experience because I didn't know what had happened or if I was hallucinating. Then, I started getting sick. The doctors found a cancerous tumor in my ovary. I went through surgery to remove it. During surgery, I was dead for a few seconds and went to a peaceful place with grass. I was playing with a child, but was awakened by the anesthesiologist shouting my name and repeatedly slapping my face.

That's how I realized that I may have been dead in October 2021. I started researching and found in Hindu mythology the places I remember seeing in my experience. My psychologist says that maybe it was something I already knew and that's why I imagined it. I don't think so because I grew up in an extremely catholic family. Logic tells me that I should have seen Jesus in my hallucination or something Christian instead of Vishnu.

Anyway, the doctors found a benign mass growing in my uterus. I am healthy. I went back to the project and finished it. Now, I want to focus more on enjoying life; the good and the bad. Sometimes I think that not all people have those experiences because they'd do ugly things if they knew what I know. I live my life more responsibly since my experience. I take accountability for my actions and I avoid hurting others. I also defend myself more. This experience changed me and when I discovered that other people have had them, I felt validated; I don't fear death anymore.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: October 18 2021

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Hard to tell, I died while I was sleeping. Other To this day I still don't know what happened, I found out that it was a NDE by the things I recall a

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Normally I can only feel myself and guess how others are feeling through empathy. During my experience I could literally feel what others were feeling and thinking at all times, everything was simultaneous.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was with Vishnu and during the memory in which my grandma was beating me. The being next to me was explaining me that someone who does that and feels that, is incapable of love.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I relived all my life and talked to Vishnu in exactly an hour. I 'went to sleep' at 12:00 and opened my eyes at 1:00. Time had no meaning and didn't exist in the places I visited. In the gallery all my life was playing at the same time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't need glasses during my experience, all limitations from my body were nonexistent there.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I normally hear through my ears, during my experience I don't remember hearing through my ears, it's hard to explain, it's like sounds went straight to my head without going through my ears.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I don't know if I could describe it as a tunnel, I could draw it and it'd be as a gallery in the middle of nothing. Everything was empty and dark and on both sides there were squares which were playing moments of my life, in the middle there was a space in which I walked.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The only light I saw was this being that walked next to me through the squares.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm First, the gallery was not dimensional; there was no space or no time. Then I was in the place where Vishnu was, it seemed familiar but the sky was pink with gold.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Mostly, I felt the indescribable emotion which was all peace and love and wellbeing. Then there was this feeling of being safe. At times I experienced emotional but inside the squares it was also physical pain, although it couldn't affect me.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Yes, everything made sense in that moment, but I don't remember much now.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events Yes, I was aware of all my life. I literally relived all my life but from the inside, feeling the feelings of others and seeing everything in 360 degrees.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life Yes, at the moment when I was going to cross to my other life I was ready to leave everything behind but I saw Vishnu right before entering and then he gave me the choice. I decided to return.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was raised by Catholics but I became an atheist as I grew up.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now believe that there's something out there or something in me that connects me with everything there is and I don't need to do anything special to be in contact with it.

What is your religion now? Hindu Nowadays I don't practice any religious rituals, but the things that were shown to me during my NDE are aligned mostly with Hindu traditions.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I always thought of myself as a person of science so I rejected Catholicism, my experience challenged everything I was taught by my family and by society and even those things that I thought I knew. I was taught that good people go to heaven and bad people are punished in hell, but my experience was nothing like that.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe that just existing is a great purpose and that our lives are not meaningless, I believe that good and bad are both the same thing but there should be a balance, we shouldn't be as good that be harm ourselves or as bad that we harm others.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I encountered the being of light and then Vishnu. He is usually depicted with jewels and stuff of that sort but, in my encounter, he was only wearing a loincloth and seemed like a simple guy.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Vishnu

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes When I saw Vishnu I realized that I am more than my earthly identity and the prejudices and the culture and all those concepts.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Yes, we are all part of God that came here to experience everything life offers.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I saw a God and he explained to me that he doesn't need anything from us and he can't intervene because we are free to do whatever we want and we basically are somehow part of him.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes At that moment I knew everything about my purpose and about the things I was experiencing.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes The general purpose of life is experiencing it as there's nothing similar where God lives, and then some of us come here with particular purposes that we can fulfill although we are free of doing something different.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I realized that life is continuous and the only thing that dies is our body.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I remember something I was taught about attachments. Our souls attach to material things. We become infatuated with illusory pleasures because they don't exist in the place where we come from thus, even things that are harmful to us make us addicted, because our souls become obsessed with experiencing the same thing again and again and, on earth we find other souls going through the same thing, so we hurt each other and lose ourselves in the experience getting trapped in reincarnation as a way to learn to let go and repair those things that we broke or that broke us.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain Yes. Life on earth offers a unique experience and as much as the hardships can appear challenging on earth, it means nothing ultimately.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love prevails and transcends 'death'. Maybe it's the only real thing that we experience on earth because it emanates directly from the 'being' and there are beings incapable of love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I still believe that God as is taught by religions does not exist. The difference is that now, I think that God is something that we can only understand through ourselves, maybe God has the same doubts and inquiries as we do, maybe he's not all powerful but he definitely isn't someone who punishes us or who allows bad things to happen, only us are responsible for the state of the world and the way we act towards each other, we could be more respectful, more responsible, more compassionate but some choose not to and decide to blame God or the Devil which ultimately could be the same being since there's no evil nor good.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I guess they have, but that's because I have changed.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult because I experienced things that don't have names, those things I felt can't be felt on Earth. I could draw some things. Although, like the gallery and the threads of reality, but I don't have words to describe what they are.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember the experience vividly but not so much what happened the days after, it seems like it was the most relevant thing.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Right after my experience I heard my cat speak to me, she asked me to open the door because my father was feeding them (she and the other cats). I also got knowledge during a dream about the death of a relative of my psychologist and at times I have funny experiences with my friends when they tell me that it's weird that I know what they wanted exactly etc. I don't know how to develop those things further but a friend of mine says that it's a useless superpower and I find it funny.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, it was extremely important to me knowing that I had a choice and that my life is in my hands and that even if I can help society I am not obliged to. I am free.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few months passed before I could share my experience, I shared it first with my psychologist, she told me that maybe I already knew those things and that's why I dreamt of them, then she seemed more interested when she noticed that I changed as a person, she was impressed at some point because she couldn't believe how much progress I had made and I guess that she believed me after that. Then I shared with my catholic grandma and she told me that she also feels God when she goes to church, I shared with my mom and she took it to her advantage and now she says that she wants to be other things in her next life. I can say that experiencing it myself, it changed me and I am grateful for it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I tried to gaslight myself because it's hard to process such thing but I couldn't, I eventually accepted things for what they are.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I take it as a gift to do the best I can with my life. It happened in a moment where nothing I was doing with my life made sense and I am grateful that I am here to experience everything there is to experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When I died during my surgery the things I felt were similar, it was not as intense but I definitely felt peaceful and happy. That's the closest I have gotten to reproduce my experience.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? When I was there, it seemed like a good idea to comeback. Now I regret it a bit.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think that the questionnaire is well made.