Ashley H NDE

Experience Description

I come from what most would consider a large family extended. We are Strong, Successful, Loving, Gifted, well known and loved by the community that surrounds us. I being the only girl and youngest of three children had a love for music and singing and meeting new people with open arms with no judgment. I was a good girl but very naive. I experienced trauma as a child from my birth mother and her bad decision-making and when she periodically showed up in my life. That is the only sense I can make or relate to the events that unfolded and changed my life forever.

I was a young adult when my mother came back into my life after many years absent due to drug addiction and mental health problems. She convinced me to move in with her to help take care of her, I agreed. After a few years with her and minimal contact with my dad step mom and brothers, I needed to escape my living situation and started sleeping at friends' houses. I was asked one day to come check out a studio in a friend of a friend's basement to sing on an album they were making, that is where I met Bobby, who kept me imprisoned by horrific and constant physical mental and emotional abuse and threatening to kill me for 3 long years. I had no contact with family and right away found out he was in very big trouble with the Marshals and went on the run until finally he was caught. During that time period all I knew was the people or close family he or we were involved with daily, specifically a man named Mike. When caught he received a 15 year sentence and I reunited with family after treatment and counseling thanks to the brave hardworking team of Marshall's that I will be forever grateful for.

On April 21st, 2010 I was visiting a friend of mine at her mother's house and she told me she was expecting a few friends over. One of the persons who showed up at her house was Bobby's best friend Mike who I had not seen since before the arrest. He was with two men that I have never met before and they invited me specifically to follow them to their house to hang out. I hesitated but they insisted until I agreed. My friend begged me not to go because she had a bad feeling but I assured her I would be okay. Mike was the only one there for me during the horrible times with Bobby, so I trusted he would take care of me. We left to our destination the guys drove together in one car and I followed alone in mine.

It was dark and we drove for quite a while, I had no idea where I was. Once there immediately I was offered a drink and I noticed the person who made it took a glass and mixed the drink with his back turned to me facing the top open freezer of the refrigerator. I thought it was odd but shrugged it off. By the time I finished my drink I remembered looking outside and the sun was coming up. I remember in an instant experiencing a feeling of dread come over me so intensely, followed by urgency. Mike was sitting on the sofa by the window next to the front door and I do not know where the other men were. I went to go sit next to Mike on the couch when a loud voice so clear said 'Ashley you need to leave now, get out!'. I looked at Mike and said I have to go now; his response was, 'No that is not a good idea.' He asked me if I was feeling okay and told me it was not safe for me to leave. Unable to convince me to stay he asked me for a ride home. We left and I have a flash of memory of dropping him off and leaving his driveway.

Next memory I have is I was sitting outside of my car leaned up against my back tire. I remember feeling complete perfect stillness of calming, but no other emotion. I remember I looked up to the sky and it was so warm so bright but there was no sun, just beautiful blue sky. I looked around me and was in a field of gold colored wheat and there were beautiful mountains. I turned my head to the right toward my front tire and there was a woman sitting next to me with a blue and white striped shirt, beautiful curly brown hair and my first thought was she looks like the 80s Era. She was looking at me and crying but I could not feel any response emotion to her crying. I just remember being confused as to why she was crying but there was no physical emotion attached to my confusion

I just felt one feeling and it was good and calm but my thoughts knew that my feeling when looking at her was that of confusion. She started telling me that everything is going to be okay and it's over now. She was telling me this but her mouth was not moving. She told me it's over I am okay now repeating, it's all done you are okay now. All of the sudden I felt really cold and my focus turned away from her and up in the sky with was now a dark gray and I could hear ambulance sirens in the background. I woke up in the hospital with a neck brace on and the nurse fed me lasagna and green beans. Then someone came in the room and placed fake money on the end of my bed and asked me to add up the coins to a dollar value. I was unable to and felt frustrated.

The morning of the accident I later learned that the neighbor of the house I was at left for work that morning and found my purse in their yard. They felt something was wrong looked through my purse and found my ID. With no other contact information, the couple who found my purse looked me up on a social media site and linked me to our family's restaurant we were involved with building and working there during the start up. The couple called the restaurant and asked for me but was told I no longer work there. The couple explained they found my purse and immediately my family was notified and my brother called every hospital until he found me. I then found out that the morning of the accident I called my birth mother and told her I was driving down the road with Mike and said that I had a shotgun out the window and I was hunting ducks and I was coming home so she could cook them for me, I then disconnected the call and immediately my mother started praying in what she calls Tongues prayer. When my father came to get me from the hospital I let him know I was okay because this woman was with me the whole time and took care of me. After explaining her to him he looked like all the color drained out of his face. He dug up a few pictures from my baby book to share with me and right away recognized the woman in one of the photos was the one sitting outside my car with me. My dad went on to tell me that her name was Trish, she was my nanny when I was born and lived with us at the faith based home my parents ran called Park House. Trish died in a rollover when I was 1 year old. I also found out that a woman was driving behind me on a stretch of highway the morning of the accident and witnessed my car cross the median unto oncoming traffic where my car then struck a tree and roll down a steep embankment.

I was not found outside my vehicle I had to be removed from it. I was drugged by Mike and the other two men, that were instructed to put an end to my life, supposedly. A few months after the accident I was in a youth group program that took us to the neighboring State of Wisconsin in the middle of nowhere to attend a Sunday service, the building holds 100 people max. After the service I made my way to the common area for coffee and was approached by a tiny very old lady who introduced herself by saying 'I heard you saw my daughter Trish', 'Trish used to write songs and music, will you find them for me, her poems?' That is all I remember of our conversation. Currently and forever more I am married to my best friend, the love of my life in our home with a job I love so much helping to take care of others, and have never been in a closer relationship with my whole family. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope that even one word I shared will help someone out there.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 04/22/2010

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Criminal attackDrug or medication overdose Direct head injury Other Unknown I had an assumed request from an Ex-boyfriend to lure me to an unfamiliar location, drug me and the rest of that history failed to be written as my fate.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The best way I can explain is to imagine your eyes opened so wide to be able to see everything around you for what it really is without the feeling or any emotion clouding up the moment. It's just knowing.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was told by a voice to leave the place I was at immediately, and again when I was sitting outside of my vehicle

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no sense of time at all.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I went from dream-like state that was slow to complete clarity and awareness

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could only hear the voice clearly telling me to leave the place I was prior to the accident and the woman who was with me outside of my car whose lips were not moving. Everything else was a blur or I blocked it from my memory

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I encountered or saw my nanny who died in a rollover when I was still an infant

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The sky was so bright and blue but there was no sun

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I was in a gold wheat field and saw beautiful mountains bright colors of blue and gold

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Emotions are earthly feelings I only had one feeling and it was calm but a thousand times calmer than I have ever felt before

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian My family ran and operated a faith based home for All walks of life at the time I was born. I resided there until I was three years of age.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? No comment Not religious, however I am aware there is a creator or creators beyond what humans are taught.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I always had faith that there is a creator. I always believed in an afterlife but I never thought of what happens first when we leave this earth. I now have a feeling that maybe there are different levels or our subconscious or soul being has some influence on what we experience solely.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I can see people on a deeper level now I am able to see and know things about people and there intentions and behavior that I was unable to see before

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin A Male voice or authority type voice warned me and instructed me to leave where I was. A woman's voice gave me comfort and love and reassurance

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was in a place I have never been with mountains and gold fields with the company of my deceased nanny

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I was told that my past was over and from my understanding starting over and not to be afraid everything is going to be okay. It is okay.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain I was told everything is okay. It's over. You're okay now.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The woman who was with me loved me so much she really cared for me

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am not the same person on this earth as I was before the accident. As though the old me died and the new me is much better all around.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am closer to my family I value my relationships on another level being able to understand others point of view avoid conflict that is unnecessary

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I still to this day 12 years later remember it like it was yesterday I will never forget in detail it was so clear.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I can see people on a deeper level now I am able to see and know things about people and their intentions and behavior that I was unable to see before. I also have very lucid dreams like I am living in another time or place when I sleep. I also have deep empathy

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? From start to finish every detail every part every moment of my experience is very meaningful to me

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared my experience with my family right away. I eventually told my story if conversation came up amongst friends that was relevant to my experience. I am careful not to share my story with others until now and even this question alone makes me second guess sharing on this survey

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was there consciously aware just like I am here now

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still feel exactly how I felt back then. More accepting now than in the beginning

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No