Aubaud V NDE

Experience Description 898

It was 3 o’clock in the morning and just prior to the merchants putting together the marketplace. I was in bed beside the young man I was with at the time. Hiccoughs woke me up and I was feeling bad with nausea. I woke up my boyfriend explaining that I wasn’t feeling well. He looked shocked, stood up and shook me. It was at that moment that I knew I was going to die and asked him to leave me alone. I rolled on one side, bent my knees with my arms close to my body. Cold penetrated my body and I waited serenely for death to come. I felt very cold but it did not bother me. Then everything toppled over the edge, into nothingness. I was a dot or the infinite, I still don’t know. There was no time. I had the feeling that I was incredibly intelligent, that I would understand everything, and that I would understand the secret and meaning of Life. I saw some past events of my life mostly in black and white but with some rapidly flashing red slides. The central theme of this review was love and my little sister with whom I had taken care of after my parent’s divorce. I was wrapped in a feeling of completeness. It later changed my perception of my fellow man.

I was in the ambulance, felt nauseated, and the motion of the vehicle was uncomfortable. I asked them to slow down. I felt as if I were in a black hole. I was taken to a white hospital room with two nurses. Then there was a light in my right eye. A doctor was performing an auscultation. He said 'She has a ruptured aneurism and is in a coma.' Again, I felt as if I were in a black hole. For a moment, I was aware of noise coming from the marketplace. People usually start arranging the stalls at around 4 o’clock in the morning. Again, I felt as if I were in a black hole. Two nurses came in and lifted me up. I felt like vomiting but could not. I was cold, had a headache and was totally dazed. Again, I felt as if I were in a black hole. One nurse was explaining to the other how to do a puncture – it was her first time. Her hands were cold and she had gloves on. The needle really hurt and I bit the other nurse’s shoulder who was keeping me seated. I felt as if I were in a black hole. I was looking into the monitor for my left leg, but it had disappeared. I was scrubbing it with my right leg and feeling the left one but the latter did not exist anymore. A voice asked me to stop moving, but I was still looking for my leg and I felt like I was in a black hole.

I was in a bed and it was daylight. People were dressed in white blouses and kept visiting, touching, and talking to me, but I didn’t understand. I finally understood that I could not walk or move my left arm. Later, I started some limited activity and came out of the hospital in very bad shape. I did my own retraining. I became anorexic, addicted to medical and other drugs trying to relive the state of wholeness I had experienced during the coma. I attempted suicide by ingesting toxic plants. Well, I still have the after-effects, but life has gotten back to its normal course.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: octobre 1991, il me semble

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No migraine entrainant un coma puis une dyspasie et une hémiplégie gauche migraine entrainant un coma puis une dyspasie et une hémiplégie gauche

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

Did you feel separated from your body? No

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The most convenient word is hyperconsciousness.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The dot, the infinity, the timelessness, those are the major sources of my questioning.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? No unusual sounds.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt well, serene, in harmony with my consciousness.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I can’t verbalize it. It was too overwhelming. I would have had to be able to do it when it happened, but I don’t know how!

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Some events related to my little sister whom I deeply loved. I was wrapped in an extraordinary feeling of love. This is what has changed my life, my perception of the other. The timeless impression still puzzles me. In daily life, I still have difficulty to deal with space and time, which sometimes brings some annoyances!

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate catholique pratiquante et engagée dans des actions humaines

What is your religion now? Liberal je suis contre les systèmes de religions et leur proportion à dicter la mamière de penser et d'agir

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Everything changed radically. I only had a coma and long after I thought I had died. It brought deep questioning about immortality. My feeling seemed so universal that I rejected any form of religion. I was then in search of God. Without the markers offered by the religion, it wasn’t easy! But it is my perception of man [mankind] that has particularly changed. I felt lots of love, compassion and deepness. Also a rejection of the physical body, of the material aspects of life, which probably caused the 3 years anorexia crisis which ended with the pregnancy.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had a few during the teenage period, also when I was pregnant with my son and during breast feeding. It ceased after feeding. I could describe it as being hyperconscious regarding the emotional state of others, as travelling into the past, present and close future.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love. The dullness of the body when awaken, it’s “yuck” side.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried two years after. It was very difficult to explain, it seemed too abstract to me. I noticed interest, rejection, sarcasm, everything in fact. But essentially it isolated me because the message was incomprehensible and incommensurable. Now, 10 years later, it’s going better. I talk about it no differently than about the weather, and the reaction is moderate.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I’ve had 4 other diagnosed comas. Same feelings of infinity and timelessness. It was overwhelming. It was probably caused by my back problem and an extreme physical pain. I’ve tried different drugs in vain: cannabis, opium, heroin, codeine, morphine, LSD… Maybe the opium and cannabis mix got me a bit closer to the feeling of well-being, I had this illusion for a brief moment. Today, I don’t take any substances. I smoke cigarettes, that’s all. Sometimes I try meditation, but…

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Experience Description 1118