Ava W NDE

Experience Description

On February 25, 2021, at around 12 noon, I walked from my house a few miles down the road to a bridge. I took off my shoes and sat on the ledge with my feet up and my knees almost touching my chest. I was fully ready to die and very numb. I waited for the cars to pass so no one would have to watch me fall. I looked up one more time, while letting my body go. I saw a white truck pass me. I felt deep regret to have somebody see what I had done, but I was still ready to go. I went down 100 feet into a shallow creek with large rocks. My lungs collapsed, my third vertebrae in my neck shattered completely. I broke bones in my skull. My vertebrae were all broken, down my spine until my lower back. My spleen was damaged. The water caused severe hypothermia. I was knocked unconscious.

A bright light came into my vision by starting as a small dot and then expanded. As the dot expanded, it was almost like a tunnel, but not quite. It filled up my entire vision.

I felt my soul being pulled out of my human form, specifically from the heart. Then, I felt my soul exit my body. My soul was pure white and I also felt at peace. I felt like I was just a soul and not on earth or in any other form anymore. I thought to myself. 'I’m finally free.' If I was in a human form, I would have been smiling.

Then, I heard my grandpa's voice. He had passed when I was around 12 years old. He told me that I am not going to die and that he loves me. My deceased boyfriend told me that he also loved me, but it was not my time to go. I was sad, but I accepted I would be returning to earth. I felt like I had been in that white, floating area and in unearthly space for a while. It seemed like it was almost like a waiting room to the next destination. The whiteness went away the same way it had came. After my deceased boyfriend had finished his sentence, I was pushed up by an unearthly feeling from my back. I became conscious and was on my feet standing in the water that was up to my mid-thighs. The current was not strong enough to push me all the way up as it did, especially not standing on my own two feet. I knew in that moment, that push had been my guardian angels, my deceased boyfriend and my grandpa. I was very angry and upset that I had not died. I tried to scream and cry, but it was difficult. I cried for my mom. I looked up at the bridge that I had just jumped from. Quickly my survival instincts came out. I knew that I was alive and that I wasn’t going to die. I got out of the water and laid on the side of the creek.

I became unconscious again. This time I didn’t have any experience. When I woke up again, I realized that my right foot was in the water the whole time I was unconscious. I ended up having severe nerve damage to the right foot more than the left, so I presume that I was unconscious for quite some time. From the adrenaline and the hypothermia, I couldn’t feel any of my broken bones. I stood up with a soaking-wet hoodie on. It felt very heavy. It took some time, but I got the hoodie off of my body. I was in a bra, sweatpants, and socks. I stood there for a moment and thought to myself, 'My neck feels weird. Something is wrong with my head.' I could tell that my head was drooping down. I touched my arm and couldn’t feel anything. I lived my whole life in the neighborhood, so I knew where the closest house was and where to walk. I had been swimming in that very spot before. I started to walk through the forest to make it to the road. I remember almost every single detail of my experience. I remember grabbing onto the trees to support myself. I remember slipping because it was icy. I had cuts all over my hands and my arms were deep purple. I went in and out of consciousness multiple times, as I walked through the forest that should’ve only taken about 5 minutes to get through.

I made it to the clearing of trees and there was an abandoned playground where the old school was demolished years ago. I had to walk across the playground and up the steep hill to get to the road. I went in and out of consciousness as I walked up the hill and barely remember that part. As I got to the top of the hill, I was on the roadside and a white car passed by but did not stop. I crossed the road and went to the nearest house. I felt tired. I knew I couldn’t make it up the slope to get to the door, but there was a white truck parked at the bottom of the driveway. I thought that if it was unlocked, I could get in and warm up, and if it wasn’t unlocked then maybe the alarm would sound. It was unlocked and I got in. I looked for a blanket or something to cover myself with but there were only tools there. I sat there for what felt like 10 minutes when a white van pulled in. Two men startled to see me got out and the owner of the truck opened the door and asked who I was and what I was doing. I could barely speak but I got out, 'Call ambulance. I just jumped from the bridge.' He was sent into shock with his jaw open and all he could say was 'Ddo you want a cigarette?' His friend called 911. He put his jacket around me. I went out of consciousness until the ambulance and police arrived. The officer had the truck door open, trying to get me responsive. I believe he asked if I knew where I was or what happened. Over and over, he kept telling me to keep my eyes open. I don’t remember them putting me into the ambulance. But the next time I was conscious, the ambulance doors were open with about 4 medical emergency responders standing around me. My mom was watching me and crying. A lady was telling me to stay conscious. They rushed me to the life-flight takeoff location and put me into the helicopter. I was in the hospital for 32 days and had surgery on my neck.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2/25/21

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suicide attempt. Drowning. Direct head injury. Life threatening event, but not clinical death.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes My deceased boyfriend and grandpa both spoke to me and told me they loved me but it was not my time to die. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I had thoughts going through my head but since it was a suicide attempt, I wanted to be dead. I was very alert when the experience was occurring because I was waiting to see what would happen after the bright light began to fill my vision and my soul came out of my body. I felt peace when it happened but I was still alert.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my survival instinct turned on, I knew I needed to save myself. Right after the NDE.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time was confusing, I felt like I was in that void and the whiteness for a while, but it also went fast.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision during the experience, I saw the brightest and purest white light covering my entire vision that I had ever seen. But it wasn’t like a light in your face, because that would hurt your eyes. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t feel like anything in my face; I was simply in it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was perfectly fine. I heard my both deceased grandpa and boyfriend clearly, although I couldn’t see them or their lips moving. I knew it was them speaking to me. It felt like they were with me.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain A bright light starting at a tiny dot in the center of my vision expanded to fill all of my vision or what my soul saw while I was gone.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My deceased grandpa and boyfriend both spoke to me.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A bright light starting at a tiny dot in the center of my vision expanded to fill all of my vision or what my soul saw while I was gone.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. Bright white light, feeling like I was in it not just in front of it.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was happy I was dead. It was all I had wanted. I felt completely at peace and ready to stay.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. The barrier I felt but didn’t see was my deceased boyfriend and grandpa telling me it isn’t my time and sending me back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes My spiritual beliefs and being have only gotten stronger. I am connected to something, and have seen things others can’t. Even before my NDE, I had spiritual experiences.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated I’ve never been set on believing anything. I believe in other worldly beings and spirits. I have seen full body spirits of passed loved ones as well.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I didn’t know what it would be like, so I didn’t know what to expect. I was nervous but ready and willing to die. I had heard before that you see white. I didn’t have any certain beliefs though.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My values went up, I learned suicide is not the answer. I learned that we do not have all the time in this world. I learned to love and care for others much more. I learned that death isn’t scary.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I knew my deceased boyfriend and grandpa were in the same place, I just didn’t know where. It felt like they were with me, but not at the same time. I couldn’t see them but they were close, not physically but almost telepathically. They were souls that definitely still existed.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I felt like I was in the waiting room where it would be decided if I will live or die. I could feel that there was more, that it wasn’t only the whiteness. I could sense right away that if I were to die, I would see something else, or go somewhere else again.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes My deceased grandpa and boyfriend both told me they loved me but it wasn’t my time.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I am still not religious, but I am spiritual. When I was young I saw two full-body spirits, one of someone I never met but accurately described, and another loved one that had passed. I also felt spirits too.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? My brothers hate me for attempting suicide. I moved out at age 16. My mother loves me but we don't see each other much.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was vivid and the experience will never fade in my mind. Even if the times before the experience, say a month before, were a little less clear. The experience was the clearest form I had ever known.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience. Mostly hearing my deceased boyfriend and grandpa speak to me. Something that doesn’t ever happen again when loved ones die. Even when I was in the experience, I still feel love and emotion.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Since it was a suicide attempt, I had to talk to doctors, psychologists, healthcare professionals, and a detective. I had to talk about it often in the hospital; I had a therapist after for a year. In the hospital, I made a few friends (PCAs) that I opened up to and told the whole story to. I’ve told 2 friends and a few loved ones. I know it impacted them heavily, in a way nothing else you could say would. Their reactions were shocked, saddened that I attempted suicide, and amazed by my story and experience. Maybe they were inclined to spread love, and be more positive, I hope.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Just from movies and random stories. Mostly just common beliefs that you go to heaven or hell.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was in shock; I was happy that I got to speak to deceased loved ones. I never questioned if it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It was the realest thing that I ever felt. In no way would it ever feel unreal or as if it didn’t happen.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I felt angels or nice spirits surrounding me when I was young, maybe they knew my fate and were preparing me for what else I would see (my NDE). I saw spirits as young as the age of 6 years old.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think you got them all covered!

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