Barry FDE

Experience Description

I was hiking with a friend in the Bowness River valley and we decided to climb up from the valley via a very steep hill. There were many very large jagged rocks, which we needed to overcome to get onto the side of the hill. After we hoisted ourselves up over the rocks, we proceeded to climb up, my friend veered to the left where the hill was not as steep while I proceeded along the steepest, and shortest, route to reach the top. When I got to within about 5 or 6 feet of the top. I realized that it had become very steep right at that point. While I paused for a moment to ponder what to do I noticed a large root sticking out of the side of the hill and decided to grab hold of it and pull myself over the edge, as it would only be a few more feet away at this point. I grabbed the root firmly and made the move to get over the top. The root pulled right out of the ground and I was instantly stuck at the worst possible place. There was a man and woman walking their dog who had walked up the gentle slope on the other side. They were watching me the whole time. When I got in this situation, I had a quick glance down at the jagged rocks far below and I could hear the woman say, 'Oh my God!' As I felt myself losing control and being pulled backwards off the side of the hill, that's when, in a split second, it occurred to me that this is where I was going to die.

From that point on, I have no idea how long it was, my ENTIRE life played out in the most vivid color, detail, and understanding. There was no fear or anything of that sort during this other than I was a bit surprised to know that I could have done much better in life. However, I think there was a bit of sadness and empathy for the thoughts of others.

I felt like I knew and understood absolutely everything in an instant. Having everything revealed in only a moment, instantly put my life in perspective. And knowing exactly the meaning and relationships and truth of everything lets you know exactly where you stand without anyone else's judgment to point things out. You just know. Afterwards, I did not fall backwards off the edge as I'd thought; I slid down a way and managed to regain control.

I can't remember if I even shared what happened with my friend but I do remember desperately trying to retain as much understanding of what had happened as I could. It was so large that I realized in a matter of minutes that it would be impossible. In essence, though, the most vivid color images of my ENTIRE life were replayed. The colors were virtually dripping they were so intense. There were a lot of important truths revealed in knowing the context of my actions in relation to others and how they were perceived by others. It's like our physical body is a barrier that separates us from others. During that time, there were no barriers and everything was known. The only word of any importance I can find to really describe the significance of all of it is love. I realized that connection really matters because every human action reverberates and is felt by others. I felt I could have done better but there was no sense of judgment only realization. It wasn't until about ten years later, driving at night from Winnipeg to Saskatoon and listening to AM radio that I heard someone mention 'Total life review'. Since then I've used that term to describe what happened to me.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1990

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. Other: Realized I was about to die Precarious situation

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR unpleasant and/or frightening

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal. I become completely unaware of anything external.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While it was happening I was not aware of anything else.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning During the life review, everything played out and I perceived the meaning of it simultaneously.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The images were in my mind not my eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I recall very vivid colors but cannot recall anything to do with sound. There may have been but I don't remember it.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Empathy

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I mostly remember understanding about myself and others I knew but wouldn't say it was confined in that way. It was much bigger than that it seems.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant not in the strictest sense

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I don't attend any church but I have followed my own path to continually try to grow spiritually.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant There are only two real religions, those that believe and those that don't. The many interpretations of religious faith are all serving the same ends. Those who believe will seek truth and light, while those that don't will seek to hide from it.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was brought up Christian but not very dedicated. I've always been interested in religion though, and spent a fair bit of time studying many other forms of religion to broaden my understanding. I still, by heredity, consider my faith Christian, but not in the sense that Jews, Muslims and Buddhists will go to hell. I don't believe these religious distinctions alter the essence of truth and love, which appears to me to be universal. Our true nature is not accurately defined by words and symbols.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes everything is connected and has a relationship with everything

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It seemed that the real truth is so easy and simple to understand that when you know it, everything makes sense, there's no more confusion, and it's as clear and vivid as the images of the life review. Unfortunately, as easy as it appeared, it's so vast that I could not do a better job of putting it into words

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes It was all about connections with others. Not their influence on me, but my influence on them. I could realize my actions and also, it seemed, understand the way others percieved them. The meaning seemed to be centered on Love.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes It was all about the relationship of love. A very pure, uninhibited and connected love.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I think I've tried, knowing what I know, but it's equally easy to carry on as before in everyday life. I do reflect on it now much more.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I can't imagine any words that could really describe it. Shortly after it happened, I made a desperate attempt to retain as much as possible but realized it was just too immense. Since then I've only managed to hang on to a few fragments of it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience after it happened, i spent hours trying to retain the simple truths i experienced and tried to define it somehow. I remember it was like trying to wrap my arms around it and grab and hold onto as much as i could while it was spilling out all over the place. It just wasn't possible.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I didn't share it with anyone until about 15 years later. Just recently, I've begun to investigate the experiences of others. I've never been into ESP, out of body experiences etc. I've recalled the story to a few people close to me; it's hard to say what they thought of it. I've always been a skeptic myself and my Christian understanding has been to stay away from astrology, fortunetellers, spirit guides etc. I'd never heard of 'total life review' until much later.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was certainly real; just much too large to retain. After trying for a while, I just moved on and didn't give it much more thought until recently.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No