Belle J Probable NDE

Experience Description

I was in a semi-private room at a hospital following abdominal surgery. That night, I suddenly felt very ill and my roommate yelled out for a nurse. The medical staff ran into the room and I remember my bed was filled with blood and the nurses tipped me upside down in the bed and I remember thinking that my long hair was getting coated with blood from the sheets. Doctors rushed in and gave orders. There was a lot of frantic screaming and suddenly I was standing at a Dutch door (the kind that is split horizontally into a top half and a bottom half). The bottom half was locked and I was pushing as hard as I could against the lower half and turning my head away. My recently deceased uncle was standing on the other side of the door, reaching his hand out for me through the upper part of the Dutch door. I remember that his extended hand was shaking, beckoning me. He desperately wanted me to grab his hand. He was smirking or had some awful mean expression that was horribly frightening to me.

I was fighting with all my power and strength and turning away. I didn't want to look at him. Uncle Frank was not a favorite uncle. He was straight-laced, serious and disciplined, and had no children. As a kid, I didn't relate to him at all. When he died, I had not gone to his funeral.

I could feel how hard I was pushing against the bottom part of the door. I looked down and saw my hands were pushing against the bottom of the door so hard. I worried that my arm muscles would give out, but I knew that I had to keep pushing at the bottom of the door. Otherwise, my Uncle Frank would open the bottom part and take me with him. I felt like I had to use every inch of power I had to escape his grasp.

Suddenly everything went black and both he and the door were gone.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'Easter Sunday, MAR 26, 1978'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. CPR given 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I hemorrhaged at night following surgery.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Everything was sharper and more vivid.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout the entire experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Prior to the experience, I had been resting peacefully post-surgery.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember any sound directly related to the experience. Just prior to the experience, however, I heard medical staff frantically yelling orders and did not see them.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My Uncle Frank was reaching out, trying to grab me, and I was fighting with all my strength to resist.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I vaguely remember the door and my Uncle Frank being bathed in a very bright white light but I can't be sure of this. I was not part of the light, but on the other side of it, separated by the door.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm My Uncle Frank wanted me to join him in some hostile, unearthly place. I fought and refused.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Sheer terror, fear, anxiety, and panic.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was standing on one side of a Dutch door which was open on the top, and my deceased uncle was standing on the other side. He was reaching out to me, and I was resisting. I did not want to go with him and I was pushing as hard as I could against the lower part of the door because I knew he wanted to open the bottom part of the door and take me with him to a terrible place. Not a place of peace.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I fought against the lower part of the door being opened and I won. I was terrified of where my uncle would take me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Did not attend church at the time of the incident

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I am not an extremely religious person and always thought heaven and hell were figurative. After my experience, I am quite convinced that they exist but the experience hasn't made me more deeply religious.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe that hell exists and I don't want to go there. My experience was not pleasant or peaceful. It was terrifying.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Well, my smirking, scary uncle had to come from somewhere and it's a place I definitely hope I never go to

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes There's a place other than heaven.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I clearly saw my Uncle Frank, who was recently deceased. He was not a favorite relative so he wouldn't have been on my mind normally. I could vividly see and watch his outstretched hand, shaking so hard to reach me, trying to extend beyond his natural rea

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I believe that evil and hell exist.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am much more thoughtful and philosophic.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I've often thought about this and wondered how I could be so sure that my uncle was in a place that I didn't want to go. During his lifetime, I knew him only as a bland man without emotion. During my experience, however, he had a demonic laugh and his outstretched arm was not welcoming but threatening. He appeared mean and cruel and horrid and was leering as he tried to grab me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I've shared it many times and friends always react the same. They are not surprised, they don't doubt me, and they agree that it wasn't ‘my time.’ They are glad I fought, and they say it's the first time they have heard of an unpleasant near death experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was such a clear experience that it was impossible for me to think it was anything other than real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Nothing has changed since the experience happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It's unsettling to me that my experience was anything but peaceful. Your questions are mostly related to positive, enlightening experiences. This makes me feel like my experience is very abnormal and subsequently I wonder if you have much interest.