Ben B's NDE

Experience Description



I am recording this experience on behalf of our son, Ben, who shared this NDE with us many times. He also shared it with the world in a YouTube video titled 'This is my story.' He passed away 17 days after his NDE, so he is not here to relay this experience himself. I am describing ONLY what he shared with us, his family. These are the words Ben shared with us on several occasions:

'I was walking from one class to the next (during his senior year in high school). The hall was really crowded. I knew I was about to faint, so I sat down on a bench in the Commons (a large gathering area in the middle of the high school). The next thing I know is that the EMS were above me working on me. I saw them put the defibrillator pads on my chest and saw that they were about to administer the shock. I passed out again.'

NOTE: The school nurse was at Ben's side by this time and verified in public documentation that he had already been 3 minutes without a pulse or breathing. She had already administered CPR to him, as did the school security officer. EMS had finally arrived by this time and was setting up the defibrillator. Ben had been passed out the entire time and was 'purple' according to the school nurse. So it is unclear how he could 'see' the EMS and what they were doing.

'I immediately found myself in a white room. It was pitch white. I also heard the quietest quiet I had ever heard. It was the most peace I had ever felt, just like the peace I felt when I was four when an angel had comforted me (after a 45 minute emergency in which Ben's blood sugar dropped to 14). I was in this pitch white room in front of a big mirror. I heard the lyrics from some music. It was the best sound ever. Better than any speakers I've ever heard. Kid Cudi (a rapper) was with me. I saw our reflection in a big mirror that was in front of me and thought we looked really, really good!! I couldn't believe how good we looked! I began to see my whole life play out in front of me in that mirror. I saw my whole life, everything I had done, and was proud of myself. It was the BEST feeling!

Kid Cudi put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Are you ready?' I said, 'Yes' and thought I was going on to heaven. Instead, I found myself back on the floor at school. It was so cold and bright. The brightness hurt my eyes. The white room was whiter and brighter but hadn't hurt my eyes. I wish I never would have come back and wish I could have just stayed there (in that peaceful white place). I think it was the waiting room to heaven, and I think God gave me that experience so I wouldn't be afraid of dying.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: December 6, 2011

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness CPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Cardiac arrest due to heart condition called Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Even though Ben was documented as having been in cardiac arrest and without a pulse or breathing for 3 minutes, and was passed out the whole time according to the school nurse, he told us he 'saw the EMS about to put the pads on my chest from the defibrillator.' He was aware of them being over him and him being on the ground. He saw what they were doing. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The white or light was whiter than any white or light seen on earth. The peace was indescribable; no words to describe it. I knew it was the same, exact peace I had felt when an angel had comforted me when I was 4 years old. I heard music that sounded better than any music on earth. I saw my image in a mirror and I looked better than I ever did on earth. When I saw my life played out before my eyes, it was the BEST feeling - a feeling better than anything on earth.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I cannot answer this for Ben because he did not explicitly say at which time was the HIGHEST level of consciousness or alertness. He just described seeing and hearing more alertly than on earth. Also, his emotion of peace and having the BEST feeling were heightened, according to him.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Ben said, 'It was like there was no time.' He saw his whole life flash in front of him. His life at that point was 18 years of earthly life, but he was only in cardiac arrest for 3-5 minutes on the floor of his high school, so he wondered how 18 years of life be shown to him in only 3-5 earth minutes?

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Ben share with us, his family, that it was clearer, more intense, more vibrant.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Ben told us, his family, that the music he heard was much better than any music he had ever heard.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Ben did not tell us if he passed through a tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Ben did not specifically share this with us, so I cannot state an answer to this question on his behalf.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Ben described the room to be 'pitch white' with walls that went on and on and that 'the white was brighter than any white or light' he'd ever seen on earth, but it didn't hurt his eyes.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Some of Ben's comments to us about his NDE that may answer this question are: 'Pitch white light that is brighter than earth.' 'Indescribable peace.' 'A pitch white room with no walls that went on forever and ever.'

What emotions did you feel during the experience? He said he first felt fear when they were putting the pads on his chest because he was afraid of the pending shock of the defibrillator, but then he found himself in the white room and felt indescribably peace. He also said when he saw his life played out for him in the mirror it made him so proud of what he had done, it was the BEST feeling.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Something Ben said may be an answer to this question. He told us, his family, that he 'believed this experience showed him his life was good' and that 'he was no longer afraid of dying.'

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Ben saw his 'whole life' played out for him in the mirror that was in front of him.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future We aren't sure, but Ben kind of alluded to having more of a purpose. He said, 'I feel like God let me have that experience so I wouldn't be afraid of dying.' He also said, 'I think I'm ready for something more important,' but he didn't elaborate on that with us. He did secretly make a YouTube video in his room that he didn't tell us about in which he chronicled parts of his NDE. He usually always told us when he was making a video, but he didn't this time. It went viral around the world and has helped many people with death, suffering, dying or their own NDEs.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will When Kid Cudi put his hand on Ben's shoulder and asked, 'Are you ready?', Ben told us he 'thought he was going on to heaven and was really happy about that, but instead he found himself back on the floor of his high school', revived from his cardiac arrest. He said it was 'cold and bright'. He said he really 'wished he could have stayed there in heaven.'

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Raised in a Christian home and a committed Christian who had accepted Jesus Christ as savior.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Comments Ben made that may answer this question are, 'I was trying to figure out why Kid Cudi was with me (in the NDE) instead of Jesus!' Ben also stated his belief in Angels and God in the YouTube video he created which chronicled his NDE, so this would be consistent with his beliefs before his experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes He made it a point to spend time with specific people after his NDE. He was in a fragile medical state at the time (heart failure and arrhythmia after his NDE until his death 17 days later) so he could not drive or go to school. He stressed the importance of seeing two specific friends and somewhat begged and pleaded with me (mom) to take him to see them. One was in the hospital with a ruptured spleen. One had been his best friend during high school. He spent an hour or so with the one in the hospital and spent the day with the other. He was very content after having seen them. I offered to take him back to the one in the hospital on a subsequent day. His replay was, 'No, that was all we needed.' The importance of 'being' with them was somewhat different from how he acted before his NDE. He also shared with us, his family, that he felt he was 'ready for something more important'. While we didn't know what that was, he was very intentional in making his YouTube video about his NDE to share it with others. He also had been agitated about his declining health in the months preceding his NDE, but afterwards he was much more content. Even praying one day with our family, 'God, give my family the peace you've given me and let them know that I am OK with whatever you do.'

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Ben shared that Kid Cudi was with him. Kid Cudi is a real human being on earth (the stage name for Scott Mescudi). But 'Kid Cudi' was with him during the time he was in the white room and in front of the mirror. It was Kid Cudi who put his hand on Ben's shoulder and asked him, 'Are you ready?' Ben wondered aloud to our family why Kid Cudi was with him in his NDE instead of Jesus. He shared this question with us humorously, not in a disturbed way.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Ben did not share this with us so I cannot answer for him.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Ben did not share information with us that would answer this question.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Ben did not share information with us that would answer this question.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain When he made his YouTube video chronicling parts of his NDE, he did ask the question at the end, 'Do you believe in Angels or God? I Do.' which may imply his belief in God was affirmed.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Ben said he was 'ready for something more important.'

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Ben said, 'I'm feel like I'm ready for something more important.'

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Ben said he didn't know if he should call it a dream or a vision, because it was neither, because he was 'really, really there!' He said he was in a 'pitch white room' that was other-worldly peaceful and quiet. He found it difficult or impossible to come up with words to describe it to us.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain I cannot answer this question for Ben because he did not share this.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Ben said, 'God let me have that experience (NDE) so I wouldn't be afraid of dying and so I would know that heaven is worth it.'

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Ben told us he was proud of everything he had done in life when his life was played out before his eyes and that loving people was the most important thing.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life After Ben's NDE, he shared with us that he was 'no longer afraid of dying' and that he was 'ready for something more important.' We, his family, don't know what he was referring to when he said 'something more important.' He did decide to make a YouTube video that chronicled his NDE and in the end he asked, 'Do you believe in Angels or God? I Do.', so it may be inferred, but not affirmed, that his decision to make the YouTube video to share his NDE and belief in Angels and God was from a conviction that came out of his NDE.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Ben had always been a very loyal, relational friend and family member. But, the months leading up to his NDE, he was very depressed about his declining health. After his NDE, he chose to spend more intentional time with people. He was more content, more present and very positive, loving, caring and encouraging.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's indescribable. There are no words to describe it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Ben shared with us that he didn't know whether to call it a dream or a vision because his NDE was neither. He said it was 'really, really real. More real than life.'

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Ben did not share anything like this with us, his family, so I cannot answer this for him.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Comments Ben made to us, his family, that may answer this question are that he couldn't' believe 'how good he and Kid Cud looked in the mirror.' He was very surprised by that. He also stressed how indescribably the peace was. It was profound to him. He also stressed how good the feeling was at having seen his life play out before him. He described it as 'the BEST feeling.'

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as Ben was admitted to a regular room after having had his cardiac arrest at school, and admitted and treated in the ER, he chose to share his experience with his best friend. I, mom, was sitting there in the hospital room listening. He enthusiastically, with some curiosity and a bit of confusion, shared the NDE with Grant, his best friend who was atheist. A week or so later when he was out of the hospital, I asked him to share it with two Christian moms I knew. He very reluctantly did, giving them a very pared down version of his NDE. They were nonplussed and had no reaction but to say, 'Oh.' In the car afterwards, he said, 'Mom, please don't ask me to share my experience. It's not for everyone.' He did share it very enthusiastically with our family and had such JOY and animation in his face when rhe ecounted parts of it. We asked him to tell us parts of it several times over and he never waned in the joy!

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Ben had heard of NDEs, but it was never a topic of discussion in our family and we were not aware of anyone personally that had experienced one.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Ben shared with us that it was 'really, really real. More real than life.'

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Ben maintained his belief that it was 'really, really real' until he passed away 17 days after his NDE.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain Ben only had 17 more days on earth after his NDE. However, he did share with us that he recognized the extraordinary PEACE in his NDE as the 'same peace I had when I was 4 when the angel comforted me.'

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Ben is not here to add anything. I so wish he was!!

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I cannot answer this question on behalf of Ben because I would be assuming an answer.