Ben F FDE

Experience Description

I was young and I went with some friends to a local wooded hangout to party. The night should have been fun but shortly after leaving for the party, I was struck with a strange feeling of foreboding, one that I cannot explain, and have never had since. It was a strange feeling of distraction, a sense that I was waiting for something to happen, this strange feeling kept me from having a good time that night. I tried to enjoy myself but this weird feeling kept hounding me, so I drank quite a bit and fell asleep in someone's car early in the night. I knew the person the car belonged to, a friend of mine, but I had not arrived in this car. I woke up briefly in the morning still lying in the back seat of the car. It was moving, so I opened my eyes. It was day light, my girlfriend at the time was now in the backseat with me, and I was still lying down. The person that the car belonged to knew where I lived and I assumed he would take me home so I allowed myself to fall back asleep.

The next thing I remember is hearing the screeching of tires. When I heard the sound I was suddenly wide-awake, but outside of myself. I had a complete sense of inner peace - time had slowed down to almost a crawl. The driver had lost control of the car and was skidding across the highway at about a hundred km an hour. He went from one shoulder of the road, tried to regain control, and shot across the highway the other way, the car went sideways and rolled three times before landing in a ditch. In 'real time', it probably took no more than ten to fifteen seconds for the accident from start to finish, but my perspective was far different.

From my perspective it lasted a lot longer, at least five or ten minutes, although there is no way to gauge it because I was 'out of time' so to speak, and time had slowed down to a crawl for me. Just to give you an example of how strange time became during the accident - during the first roll of the car the windows blew out and the safety glass in car windows shatter into little cubes that fly everywhere. During my experience, time went so slow that I could follow the individual cubes of glass as they traveled through the air. The car was spinning wildly at a hundred km an hour or more but it was like a scene in the movie 'The Matrix'. (Gave me chills when I first saw this movie because the scenes where time slows down reminded me of the experience I had during the accident.) During the accident I felt like I could have stopped time at will and plucked one of those glass cubes out of the air and put it in my pocket, it was extremely bizarre.

I was not wearing a seat belt and I too was flying through the car smashing off things, and this was in super slow motion. The time distortion was only one strange thing that happened; the others were equally as strange.

I 'left myself', and by this I mean my consciousness left my body. My vision remained from the perspective of through my eyes, and I didn't have the experience of actually viewing myself from outside of myself, nevertheless I WAS outside of myself, and I knew it. I can't explain this part well, I was not in my body anymore, I felt I was just behind my right ear, and I 'felt' small, like about the size of a speck of dust, and I was talking to myself, but the 'inner voice' was very different than I usually am, outside of myself instead of within myself. It was me, but a different me, a more peaceful and more knowledgeable me. Like I said, it is very hard to explain.

But I was telling myself that everything would be alright, I was consoling myself, I very clearly told myself that 'it was just time for this', and I had a moment of realization that I had known that this moment was coming forever, from the time I was born.

It was like some part of me knew every single thing that would ever happen to me and I had just forgot it all, but still I knew it at the same time.

I felt an incredible peace like it was nothing while I was careening around the inside of this car. My body was being smashed to bits on every little surface. I hit the roof, then the door handle, then smash, the dome light, then the roof again. Then someone's head was smashing and little cubes of glass were embedding themselves into my flesh at all points etc. yet during the whole thing I felt the most peaceful and aware and composed that I have ever felt? Strange.

I felt no pain whatsoever, because I was disconnected from my body, even though I could still see through my eyes I was not in my body, and I was still me, but I was me with a much higher knowledge and a sense of inner peace and acceptance. I knew that the accident was supposed to happen and I surrendered to that, and I knew that I would be fine, although I didn't really care either way at the time.

You could have told me that I would be killed in the most gruesome of ways (and honestly I was very close to just that) and I would not have cared. I would have just accepted anything that happened to me as 'just what was supposed to be'. I also knew that the feeling I had had the night before was because I knew that I was going to have this accident the next day. In a way, I had a precognition, but I didn't know what it was. I have never had the feeling since and I can't really explain what it felt like. But I know it was that, and it has made me question everything since.

I'm not a person that ever believed in 'fate', and to be honest I'm still struggling with the concept, but my experience makes me question the idea of fate a lot. During the experience I definitely felt like the accident was a pre-determined event in my life, something that 'I was meant to go through', something 'already written' that I could do nothing about nor avoid, something that just was meant to be, and I accepted it completely while it was happening.

When the car stopped rolling it landed in a ditch on its roof, time came back to normal, I re-entered my body, and the pain came.

I ended up breaking my spine in four places, internal bleeding, bit my tongue almost clean through and various other injuries. The other people in the car with me were as bad, my girlfriend at the time was very nearly killed and spent two weeks in the intensive care unit in an induced coma, she lived, but it was touch and go.

As far as I know, I was the only one who had a strange experience.

It has since made me question my beliefs about life after death and fate. I think if it wasn't for this experience I would probably be an atheist, but after I can't help but believe that there must be more going on here but I have no idea what it might be.

This really isn't an NDE, because I was in a life-threatening scenario, but never really close to death, but I thought I would share it anyway because it was definitely out of the ordinary, and mystical.

Through this site, I have encountered the term 'FEAR death experience', and I think my experience would qualify as one of these, even though I was anything but fearful, I should have been. I have actually never experienced anything as pleasant as the time I nearly died.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1994

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Fear based experience, life threatening scenario, non-life-threatening injuries, major car accident.' 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' Very bad car accident.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was most conscious and aware during the accident, it was sort of a hyper awareness that I have never experienced since. Things were clear and extremely detailed and I felt fantastic.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time went extremely slow. I felt 'out of time', it didn't matter to me, and it went super slow.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. More clarity, more detail, more 'awake', more 'alive', more wonderful and much, much slower.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Didn't notice anything different in hearing, in fact I don't know if I even did hear anything during my experience - I cannot remember anything about my hearing, so it was either normal or I wasn't hearing. My memories of the event are silent.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Sort of? Myself? Oddly enough the 'me' that I was outside of my body could almost qualify as a separate being, even though it was me. This is very hard to explain, but it was like when I left my body I was less limited, and I had more knowledge and I was extremely peaceful, as if I knew that there was nothing in the universe that could do me even a bit of harm.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Felt peace. Knowledge of future events and past events, that the present situation was known to me prior, that I would be fine. That the situation was something that I needed to go through but not to be afraid of. I felt like I was filled with knowledge, that I was me, but a far different me.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Just that I knew I would be okay. A personal future knowledge.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None really.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Possibly. I was more inclined to atheism before the experience, more inclined to believe that nothing happens after death. Having had this experience I realize that reality is not as fixed as I once thought it was, the way that time slowed down for me during the experience would have seemed impossible for me before the experience. This makes me question all of my other assumptions. Also, the way I 'just knew' things that I shouldn't have known during the experience. I 'just knew' I would be okay, and I 'just knew' that the accident was supposed to happen. There was no question at all, no doubt, I absolutely knew these things the way I know my name or my address, and they were facts to me, not suggestions, or questions.

What is your religion now? Moderate 'Consider myself ''spiritual'', don't really attend a church, but do believe in God and an afterlife.'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain Possibly. I was more inclined to atheism before the experience, more inclined to believe that nothing happens after death. Having had this experience I realize that reality is not as fixed as I once thought it was, the way that time slowed down for me during the experience would have seemed impossible for me before the experience. This makes me question all of my other assumptions. Also, the way I 'just knew' things that I shouldn't have known during the experience. I 'just knew' I would be okay, and I 'just knew' that the accident was supposed to happen. There was no question at all, no doubt, I absolutely knew these things the way I know my name or my address, and they were facts to me, not suggestions, or questions.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew that the accident that I was going through was meant to happen, and I knew that I had had a sense of foreboding prior to it even though I didn't know what it meant until it happened. This has caused me to question the concept of fate. I am left in a situation where I have to believe that some things in my life are 'fated to happen'.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I find what I went through to be extremely hard to explain and to understand. My experience was brief, but was very contradictory to what 'should have been happening' within myself related to the life-threatening event. I found it hard to understand myself, so it is therefore difficult to explain to others.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing was significant to me. Very meaningful and very mysterious, I just don't know what to make of it, was it just a trick of the brain??? I don't know.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I share it with some people; I find it hard to explain so I don't bother. People's reactions are the same as when you tell people about a particular meaningful dream you have had, you care deeply and they don't seem to make much of it, so I don't share it much. I have told my wife and my immediate family, no one has been influenced by it at all except myself of course. People just seem to think it's interesting but don't take anything from it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I don't think it affected my experience, I did not have an NDE in my opinion, no tunnel, no white light, I had heard of these experiences before but it didn't factor in to what I experienced.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Very real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Very real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I was sort of 'in my body' and 'out of my body' at the same time and none of the questions address this situation. I could see through my eyes, but at the same time, I was not in my body. I think the questions are limited to whether 'in the body' or 'out of the body', but I feel I was somewhere in between.