Beth L NDE

Experience Description:

In the recovery room of an outpatient surgery facility is where my NDE took place. My husband was in the room next door when he heard the alarms go off. Alarmed, he got up and opened the recovery room door. He said my color was bluish white and my blood pressure was 175/138. The medical staff were working on me. When my vital signs became stable, the nurse asked my husband to stay with me. He said that I repeatedly called for Jesus. While this was occurring, I was unconscious. I remember feeling a crushing pain in my chest and difficulty breathing.

All of a sudden the chest pain stopped. In fact, all pain stopped. I remember thinking, 'This doctor has cured me!!' I could still feel my legs from the knees below, but nothing else. I felt wonderful. I opened my eyes to a blinding white light. Everything was bright white. I then saw Jesus standing about three feet from me. When I saw him, I felt the most love I have ever felt in my life. I called him by name and he answered me - his lips did not move but I heard him in my head. He was beautiful. He had beautiful eyes and was smiling. His hair seemed to move in a slight wind. I saw what I thought was a gorgeous Christmas ornament pinned to the front of his white robe. I thought that was strange but did not ask Him about it.

I started to kick my legs to get the rest of the way out of my body. I remember trying to reach for Him but I couldn't see my hands. All I could think of was that I wanted to be with Him. I later felt so guilty that I could so willingly want to leave my husband and children who I love dearly. It was then I heard my deceased father-in-law's voice behind Jesus' left shoulder. He said, 'You need to go back to take care of Tiger (his pet name for my husband).' I could hear many people's voices saying my name but could not see anything but the bright white light and Jesus' beautiful face. It was then that Jesus told me that I had to go back; it was not my time yet. I asked why. He lifted His right hand. Beyond His sleeve, I saw a beautiful tropical island and many tanned children rising happily to Heaven. I did not understand. When I went to ask Him what that meant, He was gone and I felt like I was slammed back into my body and resumed feeling all the pain.

I have told several people about my experience. Some have said it was probably a hallucination. Why would I have only one hallucination? Why would I hallucinate about Jesus? How could I hallucinate the feelings of overwhelming love and well-being? - these words don't even come close to how wonderful I felt when I saw Jesus.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: January 2005

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Life threatening event, but not clinical death In the recovery room, my blood pressure, which is normally 90/60, went up to 200/138 according to my husband. I was unconscious but remember the crushing chest pain and difficulty in breathing. According to my husband, the medical staff gave me some IV medications and oxygen.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I have never felt more vibrant, loved, wellbeing, than I did when I was near death - sounds stupid huh?

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I remember feeling the most alert was when I was in the bright white light having the brief conversation with Jesus.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster than usual

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The white light was so intense - it did not have a source but was all around me. When Jesus showed me the vision of the tropical island, I have never seen colors so bright and with such clarity.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Jesus.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright white light all around me without a source or an end.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was in a bright white place that did not seem to have a ceiling or a floor. I saw the beautiful tropical island behind Jesus's right sleeve.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Incredible love, longing to be with Jesus. Happiness in hearing my father-in-law's voice. Curiosity at what the ornament was on His robe and who were all the people that were saying my name behind Jesus. Despair when I had to go back into my body.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither

Did scenes from the future come to you? From personal future I do not know what that tropical island with the tanned children rising to Heaven meant. Maybe something to do with the recent tsunami that occurred in Thailand and Indonesia? Or that I am supposed to do something to help these people. I don't know what that vision meant.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Newly converted Mormon from Roman Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have thought about leaving the Mormon Church and resuming the Catholic faith. None of the events that occur upon someone's death taught by the Mormon Church happened. Also, about two weeks after the NDE, I wanted to find a picture of Jesus that most closely resembled what I witnessed. No Mormon picture even came close. The picture of Jesus that I found to be almost exact to what I saw, I found after about a week of searching. It was a painting that St. Maria Faustina had done after she had a vision of Jesus. I have never seen that painting, but when I did, it freaked me out that someone had painted the almost exact face of what I saw.

What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Same

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have thought about leaving the Mormon Church and resuming the Catholic faith. None of the events that occur upon someone's death taught by the Mormon Church happened. Also, about two weeks after the NDE, I wanted to find a picture of Jesus that most closely resembled what I witnessed. No Mormon picture even came close. The picture of Jesus that I found to be almost exact to what I saw, I found after about a week of searching. It was a painting that St. Maria Faustina had done after she had a vision of Jesus. I have never seen that painting, but when I did, it freaked me out that someone had painted the almost exact face of what I saw.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Definite being, or voice clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The only thing that I thought was a special knowledge was being able to hear Jesus' voice without Him moving His lips.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Since I know for certain that there is a Jesus, I more closely follow the teachings of the New Testament. I am not so devastated when a patient dies because I know that where they are going is so much better than here.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The overwhelming love and wellbeing I experienced.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I believe that the special gift that I received from this experience is that I, without a shadow of a doubt, know there is a life after death now.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience was meaningful - but seeing Jesus face to face was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I did not talk about it for about one week after surgery - I was too sick. When I felt better, I spoke about it with my husband. It was then that he told me that I repeatedly called for Jesus after the alarms had gone off. I told my father, who is a deacon in the Catholic Church. He believed my experience was valid and told me that the 'ornament' that I saw could have been the Sacred Heart of Jesus that other people have seen. I told some of my friends that were Mormon. They believed that I was probably hallucinating. After that, I have told no one until now.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard about it on the news and saw some relatives prior to their deaths speaking to or reaching for someone that I could not see.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No