Bonnie Z NDE

Experience Description

I was bleeding a lot, and then I became weak. After struggling to breath for several minutes, I collapsed near my bed on the floor. I was in a lot of self-inflicted pain when I blacked out, and suddenly there was no pain and I wasn't breathing or crying or gasping for air anymore. I noticed that I didn't even have the need to breathe. I felt sexless and ageless, and eternal. I felt overwhelming comfort and warmth all around me. I felt like I was floating, and my vision was a little weird because I could see all around me, and below and above me as well all at the same time. I saw the ceiling above me and it seemed to be glowing and expanding and opening up somehow to infinite space. And I saw my body below me, and all my blood. There was about two pints of it covering my arm and my floor. But I wasn't afraid of what I saw. I felt no negative emotions. I knew it was me but I didn't care - the peace I felt was so much better than the turmoil I would return to if I went back to my body. I floated continuously up, but just before I entered the light I felt like I should be in my body and so I started falling slowly and trying to breathe again. I started breathing and the pain came back. It was a struggle at first to breathe - I couldn't find my lungs. But when I did, I felt my body - and my pain- again and I was back. I tried to move my feet and soon I could move again and I was aware of my body.

I don't remember communicating with anyone, only a feeling that there was a collective consciousness of souls who all had great love for me. I felt their love emanating towards me and pulling me higher.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

NDE Elements:

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? No comment

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Fully alert

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There didn't seem to be time. I felt infinite and worry free.

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The ceiling was glowing with yellow-white light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It seemed like another world or dimension was colliding with mine, meeting at the ceiling. I almost was absorbed into it but not quite.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I felt universal love and kindness. I felt that there was a safe place for me and all other souls to go, and that when I got there I would have many other places to choose from if I wanted to go somewhere else.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist I was a fundamentalist Mormon.

What is your religion now? None I am now a spiritualist polytheist with no specific religion.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes YES!!! My whole life has changed. I use to be very strict Christian in my views and I was constantly waging war against myself, and my nature. Now I am much more accepting, loving of everyone, and open-minded.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I understand the afterlife a LITTLE more now, and I understand death a little more. This experience had lead me to understand more of all the above MUCH more. I know understand that Mormonism is not the true path for me, and that worshiping God isn't my path either, and I understand more about myself and my purpose.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Since then I have become much more in touch with my spiritual nature and I am very good with a crystal pendulum. I can contact the dead with a pendulum, the pendulum moves all on its own. I often have visions, though I don't always know what they mean. I have also seemed to be more in touch with the supernatural. I've had several experiences with spirits. I can sometimes tell the future. But I still can't stop time, turn invisible, or move things with my mind! Ha, ha, ha.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best: The all-encompassing comfort, joy, and love I felt. Worst: The pain and turmoil I had to experience to get to it, and upon returning to my body.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have only shared them with people I knew would believe me, people with similar views. I don't know if they were influenced by it. My boyfriend was excited and amazed, my best friend and her dad believed me entirely, and my best friend was excited and amazed. I haven't told my immediate family as they are really closed-minded and I can't talk to them easily.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real It felt very real, and I've heard many experiences similar to it since then, but I have no other evidence.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No