Bradley M FDE

Experience Description

My experience occurred 35 years ago, but the details are incredibly fresh in my mind to this day. At the time I was employed as a Special Agent with the United States Customs Service. I was based in Belle Chasse, Louisiana, where I conducted narcotics smuggling investigations into aircrafts used to smuggle the contraband. To facilitate these investigations, the Customs Service had a fleet of aircraft used for surveillance and pursuit. There was a UH60 Blackhawk helicopter on loan to us from the U.S. Army.

On this particular day, I was contacted by agents of Alabama's Alcoholic Beverage Commission (ABC) who passed on information they had received from an informant of theirs. According to their informant, a twin-engine aircraft was going to land at a small, isolated landing-strip in Centerville, Alabama, later that night. It would be carrying a large amount of marijuana. Our operation was quickly organized and about 2 hours before sunset, I departed Belle Chasse aboard the Blackhawk helicopter as part of the interdiction crew. Enroute to Centerville, we landed at Maxwell AFB and refueled. The helicopter had an internal fuel tank that was topped off, giving us a lengthy amount of time to loiter in the area while waiting for the smuggling aircraft.

I was seated in the helicopter on the left, behind the co-pilot and next to the crew entrance door. My back was against the internal fuel tank. We left Maxwell AFB and flew to the Centerville area where we began flying in a long, circular orbit around the airport about 5,000 feet up. We had another aircraft, a Cessna Citation jet, that was orbiting at a higher altitude. This was a radar platform that would alert us to the presence of any other aircraft. Darkness had set in and a thick fog developed from about 100 feet off the ground to about 300 feet. A warning light illuminated on the cockpit instrument panel indicating a CHIP detector was detecting metal fragments. A CHIP detector is a simple metal plate built into the tail rotor transmission system that illuminates when metal particles come in contact with it. This is the indicator for the metal components, that spin at a tremendous rate of speed, and may be in the process of failing and breaking apart. It is a warning that requires the immediate landing of the aircraft. The pilot indicated that we were going to return to Maxwell AFB, an approximately 20 minute flight.

Prior to going to work for the Customs Service I was enlisted in the US Coast Guard as a Search & Rescue Helicopter crewman. I was fully aware of the significance of the CHIP light and suggested to the pilot that Maxwell AFB was a long distance away and that the Centerville airport was right there. He cautioned that landing there would compromise the covert surveillance we were conducting. I answered, 'So would a helicopter falling out of the sky!' As the agent in charge of the case, the decision was mine. I instructed him to land at Centerville. The Centerville airport is little more than a paved 4,200 foot asphalt runway. There is no control tower and there are no manned facilities after hours. The pilot made a slow approach to the runway upon entering the fog.

The aircraft was enveloped in yellow light, reflecting off of the fog from the landing lights. We came almost to a hover as the pilot slowly descending waiting to get a visual of the ground. I remember seeing the runway as we emerged from the fog, about 100 ft off the ground. At this time there was a violent pitch to the left and the helicopter banked to left and started falling.

Almost instantly, time slowed to a crawl. I remember being able to think and rationalize in real time, but everything I was observing had slowed to a crawl. I remember looking out the door window and seeing the rotor blades spinning incredibly close to the ground. It was at this moment that I knew we were going to violently crash and I was sitting with my back against several hundred gallons of aviation fuel. I recall thinking, 'Please let me die in the crash! I don't want to burn.' There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I was seconds from death.

Then, just as suddenly, I was no longer in my body. I had taken up a position just over my body's right shoulder and was observing from there. I clearly saw myself. I looked towards the cockpit. I saw the co-pilot reach up and pull the throttles to the 2 engines off line; shutting off the flow of fuel to them in anticipation of the crash. The pilot was struggling with the controls to keep the aircraft level. We were spinning violently, and kept rolling to the left. The pilot could do nothing about the spin, but he was able to correct the roll. Hewas able to bring us level, only to have the aircraft starting rolling back to the left.

Again, I am watching this from behind me over my right shoulder. I observed one of the other agents to my right who was frozen in absolute fear. The look on his face was abject terror. In what seemed like minutes, we slid away from the runway and into a stand of loblolly pine trees. The trees actually saved our lives. The rolling to the left was eventually going to take us into the ground, rotors first. The trees actually kept us level as we sliced into them, eventually coming to rest on top of a couple of trees we just knocked down. I looked back at myself and saw myself unbuckled my seat belt, ejected the crew entrance door, and grab a fire extinguisher. From the moment I left my body, everything had gone silent. When I saw myself grab the fire extinguisher, I suddenly fell BACK into my body. Real time resumed, as did sound.

Just a side note - I don't know if this is relevant. As a crewman in the Coast Guard we were so heavily trained, we EXPECTED to crash every time we took off. Our duties upon crashing were deeply instilled in us. One of my instructors once told me, 'After the crash, if you are aware that we crashed, it means you lived through it. You've got stuff to do so go do it!' One of the first reactions to a crash, is to grab the fire extinguisher and check for a stack fire. A stack fire is unused fuel igniting in the engine. That is what I was doing when I fell back into my body.

All this is a lot of words to describe an incident that literally took maybe 15 seconds, but seemed to last for minutes. And to this day I have no memory of being IN the crash, but I do have a vivid memory of WATCHING me go through the crash.

An interesting Post Script: The investigation into the crash revealed that as we were landing, metal fatigue in one of the tail rotor blades caused it to crack and depart the aircraft. That is what caused the helicopter to go into an uncontrollable spin. The CHIP detector that illuminated the warning light was found to be defective. There was no problem with the transmission, but there was a faulty light. Had we chosen to return to Maxwell AFB we would have thrown that tail rotor blade at 5,000 feet. The dynamic forces of an uncontrolled spin at that altitude and speed would have caused the helicopter to start coming apart in the air before we ever hit the ground. The crash would have been unsurvivable. Because of a faulty light all hands aboard the aircraft survived with no physical injuries. I may be agnostic when it comes to God, but I think I started believing in Guardian Angels after this incident.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2 OCT 1989

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Helicopter Crash. Other: Survived the crash with no injuries but just prior to impact was convinced I was about to die violently in the crash of a Blackhawk Helicopter

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was observing the events that were happening around me. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Leaving my body was definitely different from normal everyday experiences. I knew I was watching myself about to die in a crash, but I did not feel like I was going to die. The me that I was watching was.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Immediately upon leaving my body. I saw everything in vivid detail and in slow motion. I could actually see individual rotor blades as they spun

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. As detailed in the narrative, once I left my body time slowed to a crawl

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw everything with the same clarity but I just saw it in slow motion which allowed more detail to be observed

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When I left my body all sound left. It was dead quiet

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Once I left my body there was no fear or apprehension. It was actually very peaceful, even though I was watching what I believed was going to be a violent crash and the death of all us aboard the helicopter

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I was raised in the Catholic church and attended Catholic/Jesuit school through High School. From a very early age, I had questions that the church was unable to answer which led to my becoming agnostic.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic For most of my adult life I have not believed in the 'Fairy tale' of an all knowing eternal GOD - I do however, believe that there is, for lack of a better term, a force in nature that we are all tied to. Whether or not our consciousness survives us is a fascinating topic for me, but I lack the scientific skills to be anything other than an interested observer

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As I reported earlier, I have been something of an Agnostic since my early teens. I do not believe in the standard religious dogma of a supreme being. I believed then, but stronger now, that the 'Creator' is a force within physics that is nowhere near understood.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes No changes in my 'spiritual' beliefs but I did develop a strong desire to understand the nature of the experience

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Difficult to put in words. Once I left my body and was observing the crash in slow motion I had the feeling that I was there, but NOT there, if that makes sense. I felt certain that after watching the crash and watching everyone die, including myself, I was still going to be there observing.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life. The experience was a 'phenomenon' to me that I wanted to understand. So that started my interest in exploring the nature of consciousness. Again, I am not educated in the science, so I am merely a Physics 'buff' Over the years I have come to have a 'suspicion' that consciousness comes from outside of us and our brain may act as a mere receiver - much like a radio receiving waves of radio wave radiation. The quality of individual lives is tied to the quality of the receiver - Their Brain ! Much like a really good radio will play music with great definition, whereas a defective radio will produce a tinny, static filled sound. My doubt comes from two minor surgeries I have had where I was put under general anesthesia. Through a combination of drugs and chemistry an anesthesiologist was able to take my consciousness from me. COMPLETELY ! While under I no longer existed from my perspective. There was absolutely nothing ! Pure nothing ! Much like death. Had I died on the table I would still be there with absolutely no awareness of it. If an anesthesiologist can manipulate my consciousness in that manner then there is obviously more at play than i can comprehend. So, if death is just that - Absolute Nothingness - then I have no fear of it - I've already experienced it. If, on the other hand, our consciousness has other places to go then death is nothing more than another adventure. Either one is just as comforting. Coming that close to death made me realize that death IS a part of life and is not to be feared. Through my career I have encountered many dead. I have been present as someone died. I have lost a daughter. Once dead I know longer saw their bodies as them. They were gone ... the bodies they left behind are just where they lived. I have some experiences since my daughter died that are unexplainable and have only further fueled my 'suspicion'

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I guess I should describe one other experience I had in the past, and before this helicopter crash. Between my time in the Coast Guard and starting to work for the Customs Service I was a police officer in a medium sized town in Louisiana. One evening another officer and I were responding to a shots-fired call. The two of us approached the front door of a residence - me on the left - as the other officer pushed the front door open I looked straight down a hallway to see a man holding a small rifle pointing it at a teenage Male. I was certain the man with the rifle was the Bad Guy about to shoot the teenager. At that instant I knew I had to shoot this Bad Guy to save the life of the boy. At that instant, TIME, once again slowed to an absolute crawl and all sound disappeared, except for my breathing. One important difference here is that I was observing everything in real time but my thinking and reactions seemed to be incredibly slowed down ... I hope that makes sense. I remember vividly raising my revolver, telling myself to 'get a good aim profile, use both sights, held my breath and started squeezing the trigger. Just as I started to pull the trigger the man shot the teen in the chest and immediately opened his hands and dropped the rifle. At that instant I realized I DO NOT HAVE TO SHOOT HIM NOW, HE IS NO LONGER ARMED and I started to pull my revolver off target, fearing that it would fire before I did ... fortunately I took my finger off the trigger and the gun did not fire. At that point all time perception returned to normal. Both of us rushed forward and tackled the man getting him handcuffed then turned our attention to the boy. The gut punch came shortly after. Turns out the boy was the BAD GUY ! The man's daughter had just broken off a relationship with the boy and he didn't take it too well. He broke into the house with a shotgun and was going to kill every one when the father started fighting back. The boy retreated further into the house and the father got his .22 rifle and engaged in a firefight with him. That's when we got there. Neither of us saw the boy's shotgun, all we saw was the father and his rifle. I almost killed an innocent man ! Again, there was no Out of Body experience with this incident but an tremendous dilation of time. Do not know if that has any bearing with what happened in the helicopter crash.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? No one aspect of it - Just the entire experience itself

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have talked with many people about the experience over the years. Obviously with the other crewmembers of the helicopter. No one I have talked with have had a similar experience so their curiosity is that of an 'outsider'

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Awareness of it through the media. Nothing in depth

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was real. It happened. I experienced it just like I have experienced other events in my life. This one is different only in how I experienced it

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Again, it happened. I experienced it. The human mind obviously has a mechanism that is put in play at the time of our death. Is it 'Spiritual' or 'physical' ? Waiting for the answer to that question

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Please read the narrative of a previous question regarding a shooting incident while a Police Officer

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Nope !

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I'm sure it can be improved but I am at a loss for any suggestion. I learned of your site by watching the Danny Jones podcast with Dr. Long. Dr. Long came across as very credible with a long held desire to understand the NDE phenomenon. Just keep following the evidence and let that reveal the truth - DO NOT look for evidence that only supports a preferred theory.

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