Calla G Probable NDE

Experience Description

I was 17 and had a cesarean birth fourteen months prior. I wanted to have this baby by natural childbirth and the general practitioner I saw said I could. My water broke; I went into labor, and went to the hospital. The pains were getting closer and at 2 minutes apart, the pain was unimaginable. An intern examined me and asked if she could get a specialist. She did and I was rushed to emergency surgery. They tried to put me under, but the anesthetic and the pain hit at the same time, so I fully felt the pain without being able to respond physically in anyway. I remember screaming and screaming in my mind.

After that, during the surgery, I spoke with something. It didn't speak in words, but it communicated with my mind, which put what it said into words. I said ‘I am willing to come now if you are willing to take me.’ It said, ‘it is not time yet, you have to go back.’ I remember I could not hear my baby breathing and I refused to come back unless my baby came with me and then I heard her breathe.

What had happened was that my baby's hand had broken through my old incision during labor. At this time of my life, I was depressed and did not want to live, but I believed that suicide was the only unforgiveable sin, since I believed that it was an un-repenting rejection of the Holy Spirit. When I woke up, I had blood going in one arm and glucose in the other. I didn't see my baby for about three days.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: October 21, 1979

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Childbirth. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I am unsure if it was a clinical death at any point in time, as the physicians did not discuss the details with me. My unborn child was born and she was not breathing. I was told she was born blue.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Physically I was under anesthetic, but I could still hear. However, my hearing was selective, because I only remember knowing that my baby was not breathing and then hearing her breathe.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was speaking with whoever was communicating with me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No Time did not exist.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't see anything.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing only tuned into my newborn daughter at that time. I didn't hear anything else outside the communication that was going on in my thoughts.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I did not see what or who was speaking to me, but the voice sounded somehow ‘all knowing,’ neither masculine nor feminine.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I did not see or feel a barrier, but something told me I had to go back, so I assume I was in another place. Hearing my baby girl breathe was why I was willing to come back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed in God, or that there was something out there, but I would never have believed that whatever it is would intervene in my life. I would never have believed that it would take time with one person. I just felt too insignificant.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I went from feeling that life had no real purpose to believing that we have a purpose. I believe God, or a supreme power, exists.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify During the surgery, I spoke with something. It didn't speak in words, but it communicated with my mind, which put what it said into words. I said ‘I am willing to come now if you are willing to take me.’ It said, ‘it is not time yet, you have to go back.’ I remember I could not hear my baby breathing and I refused to come back unless my baby came with me and then I heard her breathe.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I did not see what or who was speaking to me, but the voice sounded somehow "all knowing," neither masculine or feminine.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Just that we are not alone. There is something out there that knows us, our lives, intimately.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt a oneness with whatever spoke to me. Like it knew my life.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There is something. It spoke to me. Afterward I felt that my life had a purpose. I didn't know what it was and I still don't know what it is, but I have faith that my life has purpose, maybe several.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I only assumed, but it said "it was not time" and the I "have to go back," so there must be a purpose. I am unsure about the purpose.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes When I was told I had to go back, I assume there is a place from where I was going back from.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I understood that we are here for a purpose and I know I have to trust that knowledge.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I had a third cesarean birth in 1982 at the Calgary Foothills hospital and afterward had a tubal ligation where they took out my Fallopian tubes. My husband and his parents kidnapped my three children in 1983, and I did not see them for several years. I came to the conclusion that God must hate me, as my life had been so painful. In 1996, I became pregnant and had a fourth cesarean section in 1997. God loves me. Since this time all my children are back in my life and I now have six wonderful grandchildren. Large changes in my life. I had a third cesarean birth in 1982 at the Calgary Foothills hospital and afterward had a tubal ligation where they took out my Fallopian tubes. My husband and his parents kidnapped my three children in 1983, and I did not see them for several years. I came to the conclusion that God must hate me, as my life had been so painful. In 1996, I became pregnant and had a fourth cesarean section in 1997. God loves me. Since this time all my children are back in my life and I now have six wonderful grandchildren.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My relationships changed, or ceased, but I am unsure if it had anything to do with my experience, or if it was fate, or if it was free choice.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Just the way the voice was communicated. It was like I knew what it said before it came into words.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I don't know.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I believed in God, or that there was something out there, but I would never have believed that whatever it is would intervene in my life. I would never have believed that it would take time with one person. I just felt too insignificant.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have spoken with people about my experience, but generally it reinforces their faith, or encourages it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It gave me purpose.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It happened. I experienced it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I want to write a biography and have some notes written.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is embedded in my mind, as if it just happened. It is timeless.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It should have mid-ground answers, like ‘sometimes.’