Camilla F Probable NDE

Experience Description

Suddenly the light went out. 'So this is when I die,' I thought. I was lying down on my side of the tent. Everything went dark, and I heard a whooshing sound. I do not know if I fainted or what happened.

Suddenly I was like a small dot inside my forehead, almost like the caste mark on Hindus. My body was like a big shell, or protection. All at once, I left my body and starting floating upward. I knew that my body was still in the tent; everything was dark and I was somewhere in the air above the tent. I thought of my parents and my brother, who were at the summer cottage on the other side of the island. I did not feel any sorrow, and all the frightening things that I had felt before disappeared. I felt that I was floating upward in the darkness, but I did not feel any coldness. I was completely aware of what was happening. I felt like I was in the sky, in space among the stars. Suddenly I heard music, probably some of the others had turned on the radio. It was the most beautiful music I had ever heard. The music was so beautiful; it felt like I was part of it, like I was floating on the radio waves. (It was a famous song from 1968, 'In the Year 2525' by Zager and Evans, I found out later.) I could feel how I floated higher and higher and further away.

Then everything was black, and I felt very alone. I was sad over being so alone and being in the situation I was in, but I could not do anything to change it. Nobody was there to help, and I did not know what was happening. I was afraid, very afraid. It felt like I was being dragged through a dark, wide tunnel, high up and far away by some strong force like a magnetic field. I was in the Universe. It felt like time had seized, or did not exist at all. There was no time, just Eternity. One day in life on Earth was the same as a thousand years here, or else a thousand years on Earth was like one day here; or maybe there was no time at all, like time was forever. My physical body was not there, but my whole soul was there, my consciousness, all of me. (I could feel my body astrally.) In the middle of the darkness, my consciousness was very bright and clear. I understood in a few seconds the purpose of life; I knew the answers for all the questions that no one had been able to answer. I understood that, since I was still a child, I had not committed any sins, so I did not have to answer to any and could go straight to 'Heaven'. It felt like it was important not to have committed any sins. Also, I could feel things in my life so far that had hurt me. I looked back a little on life, and, as I did so, I knew so much - I knew all the answers to questions that were never even asked. Unfortunately, I do not remember them today.

I had not known of anybody that had died, so maybe that is why no one came to meet me. I felt alone and afraid for a while. Suddenly I could sense somebody or someone's presence. I felt happy and could discern a bright light far away in the dark. I heard a voice ask me if I wanted to come now. I heard the voice telepathically, and I answered telepathically. In my answer, I said, 'I am too young to die; I do not want to die now.' At the end of the tunnel, I came closer to the light. It got brighter. I saw a figure made of shining light in front of me. I could only see the contours of the person, as if through a fog or haze. I felt such love and warmth. I felt I could have stayed there forever; this love surpassed any love I had ever experienced. The figure showered me with love - stronger love than from my parents or others. A love I had never felt before, it filled my whole body and soul. I felt unconditional love flowing to me from this figure of light; it filled me with happiness and it was everything I had ever needed.

Later in life, I always looked for this same kind of love in others, but I could never feel that strongly toward anyone except my child. I so much wanted to stay inside this love emanating from the figure of light. I thought that maybe it was God, Jesus or an angel, but I couldn't tell. Everything I was experiencing was so incredible; I just couldn't tell what it was. My body 'floated' further and then I felt like I came upon a big, thick, high, invincible wall, which stopped me. It felt to me as if the Universe was a room that had something to do with this wall. I knew instinctively that if I passed through this wall I would die for real, forever. I knew I could have floated through the wall, but I chose not to because I really did not want to die, I did not want to leave my mortal life behind. That was my response to the figure of light that I did not want to come. Then I felt myself dragged back through the tunnel, the same way I had come.

I thought about what had just happened. The figure of light had offered me a choice - I could have chosen to come through the wall or not. I had been so curious; it seemed as if there was a lot behind that wall but I could not see what it looked like there, and I knew that if I had found out, then I could not have returned to life. Traveling the road back through the tunnel went faster than going towards the figure of light had. I do not remember any more or how I got back, but I found myself at home with my family later the next day.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1968 eller 1969

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Tålde ej drogen. Other Tålde ej drogen. I thought I was going to die, I screamed for help, but nobody helped me.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was sharp, alert and conscious during the whole experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was sharp, alert and conscious during the whole experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It felt like there was no time, like time was eternal.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was dark, I was travelling through a dark tunnel, until I came to the light.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I remember hearing music in the beginning when I started floating up in the air/space that was coming from a radio. The song was called 'In the year 2525' by Zager and Evans. It was the most beautiful music I had ever heard, it felt like I was floating in the radio waves.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes When it felt like I was leaving my body and floated above the tent, I drifted into a dark tunnel high in the air, it felt like a magnetic force dragging me through the tunnel, fast, higher and further away to space until I could see a bright light. The tunnel did not have any hard walls or floor, but it was more like a strong force that felt like a tunnel, it was completely dark, I felt and saw telepathically. I was dragged/flown/floated through the tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Inside the light I saw the figure of light, which I perceived to have human features. The figure was full of love; I had never experienced such unconditional love before. I felt loved; I experienced the figure Jesus or God.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At the end of the tunnel I saw a bright light. It was nice to see light, since the tunnel was so dark. A figure of light met me there and it beamed love and warmth.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I heard telepathically, I floated with and inside the sound waves, there were different senses in space than in life. I felt very alone, and I was afraid since I did not know what was happening, I could not steer the journey, something else controlled my way, magnetism or something like it.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future It seemed like I received answers to many questions never asked, but I have forgotten them now.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes It felt like I came upon a wall. Like the universe was a room. I understood that if I went through the wall, I would die for real and never come back to this life again. I had a choice, I could 'float' through the wall and die, or not, I chose not to do it.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'Kristen, Buddistisk/Hinduisk.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have studied different religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, nature gods, etc. I think most religions pray to the same God, but in different ways. I have prayed to God, but am a bit disappointed, because it seems that God does not hear me.

What is your religion now? Moderate 'Jag är Kristen. Men tror att nästan alla religioner leder till samma Gud men på olika sätt. Kristendomen duger för mig, Jesus och Gud är lika bra som någon annan religion eller Gud.'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have studied different religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, nature gods, etc. I think most religions pray to the same God, but in different ways. I have prayed to God, but am a bit disappointed, because it seems that God does not hear me.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I understood the truth and the meaning with life. All questions were answered, I received answers to all my questions, but I have forgotten them now.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I have been too nice, I have tried to give the love I received from the figure of light to people, but they have cheated me and abused my goodness.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I had never heard of anybody experiencing the same as me, and you experience things that do not exist in your regular life. You experience things that there are no words for, because they do not exist in real life. You think you are alone in experiencing this.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That I met God means a lot to me, I know that God is good, that God is love. Although I am not sure if it was God, it felt like it was.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real To me this experience was real, but at the same time it was so incredible that I wonder to this day if it was a hallucination, a dream or reality. I experienced it as real, but I have never had anyone else to talk to about my experience. At the time I had never heard of anything like it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real Afterwards I have read that many others have had similar experiences. Could it be a collective dream, hallucination or the road to the other side? I do not know.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I do not want to experience that same thing again, it was a shock to a child at fifteen years old. I do not want to die, so I am careful not to make the same mistake.