Caren M NDE

Experience Description

The night of the event I went with a friend of mine to her relative’s house. I had never met them before. We sat down and they offered me a drink, which I accepted. After a few minutes I felt extremely dizzy and felt like I was going to black out. I excused myself and went outside. The last thing I remember was closing the front door before I was in this dark place. It was as if I was in the sky at night with no stars or clouds, but I could see fine. I could not move or say anything, but I'm not sure if that was because I was so scared or some other reason. I was standing between two hooded robed figures like monks wear. I knew that they were trying to decide (fight over) what my fate was going to be. I felt at the time that it was Jesus and Satan. They did not speak in words; I just knew this to be. It was like telepathy, but more direct. I also remember a large circle, but I do not remember what its purpose was. The next thing I knew my friend was shaking me and slapping my face. I remember that I could hardly breathe or catch my breath, and I was afraid I was going to die again. I felt sheer terror like I have never known, and never want to feel again, but I do not remember why. It feels like either I was not allowed to remember or I can't because I won't let myself. At that point, I was at the end of her relative’s driveway lying by the road. She said to me, ‘I thought you were gone.’ She said she found me lying on her uncle's cactus (by the front door). I do not know how I got to the end of the driveway. I doubt that she could have carried me herself, and I never asked.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Other: 'Hard to say it was a clinical death, because I was not at a hospital.'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It is hard to explain, but I was at the level above the normal thinking mind. You don't have the voice in your head anymore. You communicate directly.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When the two figures were fighting over me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see the same, but I was in a different, darker place.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I do not remember hearing any sounds.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I do not know what the circle was, so maybe that was a tunnel?

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was no visible light source, but I could still see.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear and terror.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I have been Protestant since childhood, but had not been baptized at that time.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I still attend a Protestant church, but I feel that all religions lead to the same God.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I have believed in God since I was a child. This experience left me confused and hurt. I am not sure why I had this experience. I am grateful that Jesus was fighting for me, but I do not know why I ended up back here or what will happen to me. I am also grateful that I got to experience who I am underneath my wordly self.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try to be a better person in a lot of ways.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I encountered the two hooded beings, but did not hear a voice in the normal sense.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I believe that one of the hooded beings was Jesus.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes See above.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists┬

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I absolutely believe that there is life after our earthly life.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. You do not forget this type of experience. Other events are not thought of as much and fade with time.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience You do not forget this type of experience. Other events are not thought of as much and fade with time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A few times in my life during times of distress I have heard a woman's voice speak to me, as if she was standing next to me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only a very few. I'm not sure they believed me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No