Carman D NDE

Experience Description

I had two near death experiences, at five years old and at fifteen. My first near death experience was when I was five years old. I lived in an apartment with my mother and siblings in Chicago, Illinois. My mother who battled from depression was given green and black capsules for her illness. At the time, my mother would hide candy from us and would only give us candy after dinner. I used to see her take medicine in the bathroom and thought that she was taking candy. After she took her medicine, she went and attended to my younger brother and sister. I climbed on top of the sink, opened the medicine cabinet, opened her pills, and swallowed a few. When my mother called for me, I ran from the bathroom and everything around me went black. I don't know how long I was out, (later on, I found out it was almost two hours) my mother did not drive and she called my father from work. I was taken to Cook County Hospital. My near death experience went like this:

I was climbing up a long golden ladder up through the clouds, and I was climbing very, very high and at the end of the ladder there was a man (for me, it was God) who met me. He was of medium built with white shoulder length hair, with a white shiny white beard like angel hair and had on a white robe with sash. He took me by my hand and we walked towards a marble bench where he sat me in his lap. I felt very weak and tired from the long climb. As he sat me on his lap and laid in his arms, I reached up, touched his beard with my right hand, and felt the most immense sense of love and understanding (until this day this feeling has never left me). He stood me up and took me by the hand and as we were walking, we went to a white marble room where there was a huge screen and pictures of my life were flashing very fast. In the screen were the most surprising images that have never left me - they were of a previous life. From backward images, I saw myself as a young blond haired young man. I was killed in a car accident and I saw myself leaving the scene with a briefcase walking towards the screen. Before that, I saw that I had lived in a suburb in a pale yellow ranch home with a long driveway. Outside the driveway next to the car, I was saying goodbye to my wife, my almost two-year-old daughter, and son about four years old. After the kisses and goodbyes, I got in my car with my briefcase to go to work. After the review, I was led to another marble room where there was a huge open book on a marble table. My guide sat behind the table and with his index finger pointed in the book, he scanned through the page to see if he found my name on the book. His head lifted up and looked at me, a wave of guilt overwhelmed me. I did something very, very wrong. No one had to judge me. I judged myself and knew I did wrong. My guide spoke to me through my mind and I was shown a picture through a cloud of my mother dead in the center of the floor with my father, brother and sister crying around her. He told me it was not my time and that I had to go back for her. After what was shown to me, I went down very quickly and found myself in the hospital room with doctors and nurses working on me. I had rubber tubes through my nose and was strapped down. I stayed in the hospital for two weeks. Until this day after the review of the previous life, I do not drive a car. Since this near death experience, I have not forgotten this. I also had another near death experience at the age of fifteen since these experiences I always felt that I have one foot in heaven and one foot on earth and not truly or completely here.

Judged by Works: 'And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.'

My second near death experience was when I was fifteen years old in Hartford, Connecticut. I had gotten out of a day of high school classes and went alone to a dentist appointment to have a molar removed. The dentist had given me ether in a mask for me to breathe into and I was completely out. In the experience, I saw a black and white circle going round and round then there was a noise as if someone had turned off an electrical signal or switch. After hearing the signal turned off, I felt complete detachment from my body and detachment for what I had on earth. I was in a vast black and white circle that turned into a tunnel and was drawn to it in a vacuum going very fast. While going through the tunnel, I heard what sounded to me like a roaring freight train with fast ding, ding, ding sounds. The top pulled me back of my head going very fast into the vast semi-clouded tunnel. As I was going through the tunnel, I also heard wind chimes ringing. As I was midway through the long tunnel, I found myself diverted to a long hallway. There were three large oak doors, one on the left, one across to the right and one going straight. I was drawn to open the first door to the left. When I went inside the room the door closed behind me by itself and I was in pitch black darkness. I was conscious of where I was and it seemed that there were other people there in the dark mumbling. I couldn't understand why I was there and I felt very sad. I was saying in my mind, Jesus, I don't belong here and feeling very sad. I was praying to Jesus for help. As I prayed the Our Father prayer, I saw a pinprick circle of light and the circle was getting larger and larger, as I saw myself in the dentist room.

I saw myself, (my body) on the dentist chair with the dentist and nurse violently pulling me and shaking me to wake up. I saw the doctor extremely upset and the nurse very distraught. As I was seeing this I was pulled right back into my body. After going into my body, I was very weak, like a ton of bricks were piled right on top of me, and the dentist and nurse were very upset with me. The nurse right away held my head down by my knees to bring blood flow to my head. I did not go home until about an hour later because of the weakness. This experience was real and it has never left me. I know now that when you die, you lose close attachments to the ones you leave behind and to personal possessions. There is care but not heartache. To me there is a mission why we are here. There was total detachment of feelings, no sorrow, but care, and there is a higher power - one we have no control over.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: April 1960 and May 1971

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentSurgery-related Other Accidental overdose at home and under ether inhalation in Dentist office. At the age of five everything turned pitched black after the accidental overdose of my mother's pills. In the dentist office an accidental overdose of ether and almost didn't wake up.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the two experiences I was alert and aware of everything that was happening.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed that there was no sense of time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I see colors more vividly and cannot be out in the sun too long, it hurts my eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing is more heightened and cannot stand loud noise.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was in a vast black and white circle that turned into a tunnel and was drawn to it in a vacuum going very fast. While going through the tunnel, I heard what sounded to me like a roaring freight train with fast ding, ding, ding sounds. I was pulled by the top back of my head going very fast into the vast semi-clouded tunnel. As I was going through the tunnel I also heard wind chimes ringing.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I felt that I have met God and my spirit guide. We spoke through our minds.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I did see light when I entered the hallway of doors. I found myself diverted to a long hallway. There were three large oak doors, one on the left, one across to the right and one going straight. I was drawn to open the first door to the left. When I went inside the room the door closed behind me by itself and I was in pitch black darkness.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Yes, I visited a place in light and clouds with multiple white rooms in white marble.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At the age of five I experienced unconditional love, acceptance, I judged myself for what I did wrong - the overdose of my mother's pills. I also felt that I broke the rule of life; it was not to be taken by this way. I also felt that I had to fulfill a mission and had a commitment to my mother and the family. At the age of fifteen it was not my time to go home.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control At five I was given a short life review and was shown that I had a previous life. In the review, I was a male and had a readymade family and that I died in a car accident. Till this day, I don't drive a car.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future While I was in the other side I did not see or became aware of future events.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I was brought up in a Catholic home, attended Catholic schools, and attended mass on Sundays with the family I have not stopped praying the rosary.

What is your religion now? Moderate Catholic

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I was brought up in a Catholic home, attended Catholic schools, and attended mass on Sundays with the family I have not stopped praying the rosary.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes At the age of five I experienced unconditional love, acceptance, I judged myself for what I did wrong the - overdose of my mother's pills. I also felt that I broke the rule of life; it was not to be taken by this way. I also felt that I had to fulfill a mission and had a commitment to my mother and the family. At the age of fifteen it was not my time to go home.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I feel closer to GOD and Jesus because of these experiences. I am compassionate of those less fortunate. I am closer to my mother and family.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes When I sat down on God's lap and touched his beard, I felt the most purest form of love and understanding. There is nothing like it in this earth. I was accepted with pure love. I cry and miss this the most.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I sense and dream when danger is about to happen to my family and of world future events that I have no control of. I also dream of deceased relatives and friends and they give me messages or I travel where they are.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, when I met GOD and he sat me in his lap and I laid in his arms, I reached up and touched his beard with my right hand and felt the most immense sense of love and understanding, until this day this feeling has never left me. I wish the world would feel like this with one another. I miss his light of acceptance and love.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I tell my family of the previous life review as a man they try to understand. I also told them of my fear of driving.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No Not until Dr. Raymond Moody came out with his book and movie of these experiences. When I read and saw the movie, I cried. There were others out there like me. I also read Dannion Brinkley's book 'Saved By The Light'.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real At first I thought it was a dream but with dreams you tend to forget. This was not a dream it was real and I will never forget it. I feel that these experiences have been imbedded in my soul. Dr. Raymond Moody's book and Dannion Brinkley's book verified to me that these experiences also happened to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The reality of my experience that no one has the right to take a life or of your own. Only GOD has that right. Everyone is here for a purpose or lesson to learn. We all have an expiration date.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No But I am highly sensitive to medicines. I cannot take morphine for pain after one cesarean section nor can I take codeine for colds.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? That GOD and Jesus are real. There is a total detachment of the body and of the ones we leave behind, that there is care but not heartache. I do not fear death.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Yes, would like to know if other experiencers also read books on this subject and verified experiences through Dr. Raymond Moody's books or Dannion Brinkley's books. Thank you.