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I will talk first about my first experience of an NDE at four years of age. I consider there to be two types of NDE. The first type is where you are NOT meant to be dead and as a result, there is a lot of this type recorded and written about. Type2 is where you are meant to be dead and you have asked to come back for your own reasons. They come across as very different experiences. I have had both types. Type 1 at four years old and type 2 at 47. I am alive because I insisted. At four years of age, I awoke one morning very early and decided to help my mother by cleaning her sunroom. It was very cold so I was dressed in a winter nightgown and I turned on the little bar radiator in the sunroom to keep warm. I also had a scarf tied around my head to keep my hair out of my eyes. I bent over the radiator to dust the table and as I did my nightgown swung into it. The nightgown caught fire very rapidly, burning up my body. I did not notice the fire for a few moments, but when I did, I started to run, in a panic. It was about 5.30 in the morning, of a very cold winter morning. I thought that I was screaming but I was not, apparently. For some reason my father woke up. He does not know what woke him. He saw a light in the hallway, flickering. He thought about it for a while and decided not to worry, rolling over to go back to sleep until he realized that the light was FLICKERING. He says he jumped out of bed and ran to find me lying in the hallway ablaze. He began to beat the flames out with his hand screaming for my mother to come help. Once I felt my father helping me, I died. I remember suddenly being surrounded by this intense light. It felt like a tunnel but all I could see was light almost so bright that I could not keep my eyes open. I felt/heard a rumbling noise and I walked towards that noise. Suddenly I was in a place that had a palm tree to the left of me and in front of me were these gates that were about 50ft wide and about 12ft high. These gates were silver and were made up of the images of all the animals on earth, and all the plants. They were alive and moving around together. These gates are still the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There was a man waiting by the tree, not speaking, just watching me, and waiting for me to notice him. I was still 'in the light'. It made the ground look like a cloud but it felt solid. I knew there was more in this place but all I could see through the light were the gates, this man and the tree. I walked up to the man and said 'Hello'. My voice echoed. He smiled at me and held out a hand. It was the hand of a workman. I took his hand but I have no recall of warmth, then he hugged me and walked me over to the tree where we sat. He started to talk, explaining that he was Jesus, my great grandfather, that I was there by accident, and that I needed to go back. I asked him what for and he told me that I had a big job to do for them all. He also told me that my future husband was waiting for me to help me. I asked what his name was and he told me ‘his name is Bernie,’ then together we walked back to my home and Jesus waited while I stepped back into my body. Then there was blinding pain and nothing. I spent the next 43 years regretting being here and wishing to be home. I met Bernie, and we married, thank Source for that! He is truly a reward and a soulmate, which was confirmed when I died the second time. FEBRUARY 15th 2009 3:15 am. I awoke for no known reason and lay still for a few seconds, wondering what was wrong, as I reoriented myself and sat up. I realized straight away that something was wrong, so I turned around and looked. Although it was the middle of the night and dark, I could see perfectly well. The first thing I noticed was that I was looking at my body. The second thing I noticed was that it was as if I was staring at someone else's body. I had no real feeling towards it, which now I think is strange. I quickly realized that I was dead. I kept looking for the tunnel but none happened. I decided then that I did not want to be dead so I mustered my energy together as hard as I could and shook my husband yelling at him to wake up and help me. He did! But instead of helping me he went to the toilet, figuring that this was what woke him up; a busting bladder. I sat back and waited for him, conscious that every second made me deader. Bernie came back into the room and climbed into bed. He snuggled up to my body and realized almost straightaway that I was not breathing. He turned on the light. I watched his face register shock, horror and grief and then I knew I was in good hands. As soon as I realized that Bernie was looking after my body, I was in heaven. I think that heaven is all around us, in another dimension. I do not think that we go up or down, though we may. It just feels like another dimension. The first thing I noticed was the same man was waiting for me, Jesus, but this time he was not alone, there were hundreds of people there. Moving about with what seemed to be purpose to me. It was dark, like this place was in space and I could see the tree again. There were no gates this time, but there was now a mountain that looked to be about 20kms away. On the top, there was a very large living Light presence. I knew that this was GOD or SOURCE and that this is why it is called the LIGHT. There were Angels there as well. The easiest way to differentiate them is that they had different energy, like they were lit from within and were not quite connected to us but were benevolent to us. They did not have wings but I could understand why they would be drawn that way. Knowledge came in suddenly, from everywhere. The easiest way again to explain is that I was a computer user going into the main frame. My thoughts were much faster and much clearer. My IQ would have been doubled I believe. So not only could I think faster and clearer, I could tolerate knowing more and being told more at the same time. I was able to talk to Jesus and observe my body back on earth being worked on. Jesus told me about his connection to me and told me that I had fulfilled my life job and that my reward was being called home. I felt relief and joy that I had been successful. My life has been spent caring for and genuinely helping people, often in the face of being ridiculed, ostracized and held apart. It was a very painful life and I was glad it was over. Then I thought of my husband who had come to earth to help me. How could I leave him? He needed my support as I needed his. I began to argue with Jesus to be allowed to go back. I asked to speak to God. Metatron appeared then and explained to me that I could not speak directly to God, as it would annihilate my essence to do so. While I was talking to Metatron, I was still seeing my body on earth. I was aware of the electric shocks (7 in total) as they happened as each jolted my spirit as well. I was aware that my animals that had passed over were also in heaven. I played and talked with them for a while which was terrific. Then I spoke to some nephews who had died when they were very young. I was happy to see that they had still grown up and were interested in their family although one of them was about to be reborn. I spoke to my grandparents. I also saw some of my past lives, with Jesus telling me about them as I viewed them. All the time I was asking why I had died and could I now go back? It seemed that the Spiritual Beings felt I needed a rest and that Bernie would struggle but would come home to me soon enough. I just remember feeling angry that they could not really understand that he had been loyal to me and I should be loyal to him but NOW I believe that they were trying to get me to 100% agree to the next job they wanted me to do, which was bigger than the first. And much harder. So there I was, flashing back and forth, watching the firemen, Bernie and the ambulance officers working on my body. Your brain capacity and your consciousness are so much greater in Spirit. You are capable of much more than you are when it all has to be housed in your human body. I became extremely aware that the body is completely a recording system for memories and events from not only this life, but past lives where there is unfinished business. After a time I suddenly knew that if I did not go back, then I would not be able to go back. Jesus told me that now was the time to go if I was going. I only realized later that the plan must have been for me to come back, even though they told me that I was meant to stay. I think I was meant to be dead but they knew that the choice would be mine. They were very sad to see me 'go'. I waved goodbye to my Guides, hugged Jesus and viewed GOD/SOURCE again, hoping to remember what it was. I know that a lot of 'information' was put into my brain for safekeeping so that I could not access it until my brain was healed again. Jesus told me that I would be fine, that my body would heal and I trusted him and his truth of the situation. He has been correct even though I was dead for so long and without oxygen except for emergency procedures. I am now accessing the information that they put into me. Anyway, Jesus told me that this would be the hardest thing I have ever done. He asked me to teach, to form groups of like-minded people. He told me that I would feel sorrow and betrayal but that I would be loved. I said goodbye and stepped back into my body. My feet entered first. I have had pain walking ever since. It is like walking on knives. I feel like the little mermaid. I felt pain like I have never felt before. I saw a blinding flash of light. The next thing I knew it was four days later and I could feel Bernie next to me. ‘I came back for you’ I croaked out as I dropped the energy that I use into my brain, telling it to heal. I did not have another conscious memory for nearly six weeks. Thanks, Carmel
Background Information:
Gender: Female
Date NDE Occurred: 15/02/2009 and 26/6/1965 NDE Elements:
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident A cardiac arrest is NOT a heart attack. I died from being burnt when I was four and from a cardiac arrest when I was 47. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I had a cardiac arrest and I was burnt to death when I was four.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal This is not a logical question. My consciousness was at its highest all the time. This is not like being asleep then waking up. You are awake the whole time.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? This is not a logical question. My consciousness was at its highest all the time. This is not like being asleep then waking up. You are awake the whole time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No The second time there was no tunnel. The first time there was a tunnel.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Yes Jesus, who is my great+ grandfather. (Sinclair family, direct descendant) and my nephews, grandparents, aunt and lots of others.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No The second time there was no light. The first time there was a light.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Everything except fear. I have not felt fear since this time.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I feel cheated. :)
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future We'll see.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None really.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal None
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I do not wish to make it happen so I will see if it happens before sharing it.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Yes Words are human and limiting. The experience was boundless and without humanity.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Within days. As soon as I was out of the coma, I was talking.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I have already, I think, put in a very brief account, written weeks ago. This is a much expanded version for you to update with. Thank you for being there.
NDE 1: I had come home from a wedding earlier that evening and went to bed as per usual. I suddenly woke up and realized that something was wrong. I could not identify what exactly was wrong, but then I realized that as I moved my body, my body did not move. I sat up and my body stayed lying down on its back with the left arm thrown over my face. I knew then that I was dead but I did not feel any concern or panic about that. My husband was asleep next to me so I started to yell at him ‘Wake up! I'm dead!’ and I gathered all my energy together to shake him as hard as I could. After a bit of time he woke up and I felt relieved but then he rolled out of bed and went to the toilet. I sat back and waited for his return. I felt very upset that he had left me instead of rescuing me. He came back into the room and climbed into bed, touching me as he did and then he suddenly sat up, turned on the light and gently moved my arm off my face. I could see the grief come into his face, the horror, the shock. He rolled me over onto my side and opened my eyes, staring into them for a while, and then he sat up, pushed me back onto my back and started CPR. He also started yelling to one of our sons to come help, come call the ambulance. I became aware that I was in another place, yet I still maintained an awareness of my body on the bed. It was blackness and night sky, a sense that there was ground beneath me. I sensed/felt/saw people all around me. One of them walked up to me and said hello as if I knew him. Suddenly I did. I had met this man before, when I died when I was four. ‘Hello,’ I said, ‘Jesus?’ I asked. He smiled. ‘Yes.’ I began to ask questions like ‘Why are you here?’ YOU as in Jesus. He explained that he was there as my father of my family tree, that I was his great x many granddaughter. He was not there as Jesus the Messiah, if that makes sense. There was a difference. He told me that I was meant to be dead, that I had fulfilled my task. I argued with him about that. I wanted to go back to earth for my husband. I have children but I knew that they would be fine without me. My husband had come to earth in part for me. I could not abandon him now. I spoke to some of my relatives and agreed to pass messages on for them. I spoke to my animals and agreed to help animals. I laughed, I cried. All the time I was also aware of my body and I was watching what was happening to it. Finally, Jesus told me that if I was going back I had to go now or I would be too damaged. I stepped backwards to reenter 100%. He asked me if I would do a favor for them by carrying on the energy work I had been doing. I agreed. Then I was back in my body and I could feel an electric shock through my body. My heart started and my breathing started at once.
Date NDE Occurred: 15/02/2009 NDE Elements:
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) My heart simply stopped for no reason. There is nothing wrong with it. All tests came back fine. I had had brain surgery for a pituitary tumor 2 months prior, and as a result of my death, suffered a Global brain injury.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was at my highest level the whole time. I never lost sight of what I was experiencing or who I was or what I wanted.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was at my highest level the whole time. I never lost sight of what I was experiencing or who I was or what I wanted.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I knew that time in Spirit was fluid and intertwined and that time on earth was linear.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw in the distance 'God's' residence. All around me was a location that I would consider beautiful and distinctive but I am aware that I created this location.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt joy, love, frustration, determination, and amusement.
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
What is your religion now? Liberal
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew who all the people that met me were. I knew the answers to the questions I asked without needing to wait for the answer. It was 'downloaded' into me.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am different. I cannot explain. After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes. Meeting my ancestors.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I could speak I began sharing. I was in a coma for 3 or 4 days, so after that.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had an earlier NDE when I was 4 and I burnt to death.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I do not understand the question. I think you mean, did I still consider it real? Yes. I did. How could anyone doubt?
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I could not doubt it.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It made me realize how pathetic life is on this earth, due to the complete greed, selfishness and stupidity of people. I was always very trusting. I trust very few people now. I am very sad about that.
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