Carol S Probable NDE

Experience Description

I had covid, was experiencing congestive heart failure, and was very ill. I live alone and had no one to help take care of me. I had talked to my doctor who was treating me and he said as sick as I was, I was going to need oxygen that night. I had fluid retention of ten pounds over night and I seriously felt like I was dying. As the day went on, I became sicker and called a few people to try and get someone to take me to the hospital but I couldn't get any one to do so. I think everyone was afraid to get Covid from me. I was too sick to drive myself. I willed myself to go upstairs and get in a hot bath to try and help relieve the pain I was having. I had to tell myself to lift my foot up with every step that I took up the stairs. I finally made it up stairs and got into a hot bath and eventuality fell asleep. I woke myself up because I was snoring. I got out of the bath and made my way into my bed room. I checked my O2 level and it was 87. I was having a hard time breathing. I was so sick that I remember thinking so what if I die and I just laid on my bed and fell asleep.

Then I was floating up against the ceiling and looking down at my body on the bed. I felt totally at peace and had no thoughts of anyone. I could see my body and my dogs lying next to me, but I had no connection with them. Nor did I have any thoughts at all about my family, kids, or friends. It was like I was just looking at my body and my pets and felt nothing for anyone. I was totally at peace and felt the happiest I have ever felt. The peace and happiness was so profound that I can't explain it in words.

I became aware of my fiance, who had passed away 7 years ago. He was to the left of me up against my shoulder by my head. He had the most loving smile on his face. I was so happy that I was with him and we were communicating. I am not sure we were physically speaking; it was more like we just knew what we were saying to each other. He said, 'You know you can't stay, right?' I responded back, 'What??' and was feeling upset. He answered, 'Yes you have to go back.' I told him 'WHAT you're not my boss you can't make me go back!' I felt terrified and he was just smiling at me and the next thing I know I was back in my body sitting up in the bed gasping for air and trying to breath.

I felt angry and yelled at God, 'Why did you make me come back? Why couldn’t I stay? What did I do wrong? What do I still need to do that you sent me back?' I'm not sure how I made it through that night. Nor am I sure if that experience was an out of body experience our if I stopped breathing. But I do know it was real and the experience gave me more assurance that there is more than this life. However, I was angry for a while and it took me time to get over the anger of having to come back.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 01/13/2021

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. I had covid and was having congestive heart failure. I had been taken suddenly off steroids and my body was very inflamed and swollen. My O2 Stat was in the 80s

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my body and new that I had left it and was dead but had no connection with it nor did I care that I left it. I could see myself laying on the bed and I could see my dogs that I love like my kids but had no connection emotionally at all not at all. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It was like I was consciously aware of my body but not connected. I had a sense of bliss and peace that I have never experienced which made me more conscious than I have ever been.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? when I was floating above my body, I felt a piece and awareness of what’s next after this life.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. It seemed as if there was no time, I just existed

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. my vision during the experience was one in which I was aware of more then what I could normally see in my everyday life. I could see what I want even looking at.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. my hearing was different. I felt as though I heard and understood without speaking.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes my fiancée was with me and he had passed away 7 years ago.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? the first emotions were total peace abs a Happiness I've never experienced. then when I was told I could stay I was tried and angry.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood that we all are love and Happiness abs a oneness

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I was told I couldn’t stay and had to go back

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian Non denomination

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I did not know before it I believed that you live your life with a purpose and that someone needs you and you have part in life to fulfill

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt the oneness

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes it gave me a peace that there is life after death and my loved ones are waiting for us to enter the afterlife and will be there when we pass

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt that we are love

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I felt I had something important still to do

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I have good relationships with people but felt I needed to make amends to any that I might have a fallen out with

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes the feeling of total peace and Happiness I felt is beyond what words can describe.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. With covid I has a hard time remembering anything I did but this experience was so clear

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? the most meaningful experiences was that I note no for a fact that there is life after this. I have a peace about it

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes about a month

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had seen documentary on tv about it

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real at first I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or just so sick I was delusional

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I think it definitely was real because of the piece that I felt which was indescribable and beyond what a dream could explain

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? no

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? can’t add to this any