Catherine F STE

Experience Description

The following story came to me in a vision, as vivid to me today as it was some 47 years ago.

I was fast asleep but suddenly some deep inner consciousness awoke in me, aware of a powerful presence/force coming down from above. My 'conscious' thinking mind was also aware on some level and subtly linked with this deeper consciousness. Both levels of consciousness watched as this outside force flowed into my mind. I physically felt it enter. Neither my 'outer' nor 'inner' consciousness was afraid.

And then this vision unfolded:

I was standing at a crosswalk with a few other people, waiting for our light to turn green across four lanes of busy traffic. Before the signal could change, one man stepped into the road and was immediately hit by a speeding car. Horror-stricken, I screamed to the other people to help me get him to a hospital. Everyone stood silent, motionless. I frantically looked for other help, spotting a phone booth down a side street. I ran to the booth and dialed 911. No one answered.

I was on the verge of complete panic when a car came by, one of those big, rounded cars featured in 1940’s gangster films. I jumped into the street and waved the car down. I begged the two men in the front seat to drive me to a hospital or police station for help. They silently nodded and motioned for me to get in back.

Suddenly the street scene disappeared and the car was now on a desolate beach, just about to drive into the ocean. The sky was a dark threatening grey and the sea was ink black, churning with enormous waves. Another sudden shift of scene and now the car was floating a mile out at sea, tossed in the waves. I could see land in the distance- tall vertical cliffs with the black waves crashing against them. I looked at the men in the front seat. They sat still without expression and all at once I had a deep gut feeling that I was in the presence of pure Evil. This evil began wrapping itself around me. I instinctively knew that if a stayed in this car a few moments longer I would be lost; what that 'lost' meant I didn’t know.

Another shift of scene and the car was now floating near the cliffs. I saw a small ledge jutting out at the cliff bottom, something I just might get a hold of. I knew that if I didn’t jump now, this was the last chance to save myself. I opened the car door and threw myself into the sea. The car immediately disappeared and it was just me tossed in the black churning water. I swam to the ledge and grabbed on. The top of the ledge was only five or six feet above the water but its slope was covered with slick, slimy seaweed. It was nearly impossible to grab hold and climb. For what seemed an eternity I struggled with that seaweed. I could palpably feel in my real physical body the agonizing strain of that effort. I didn’t think I’d make it, but somehow I did. I collapsed in a heap at the top, barely able to move.

As I lay panting and exhausted, I saw two water spouts rotating far off on the ocean’s horizon line. I didn’t see them with my physical eyes, but with my inner eye. As they approached, I knew for certain that these spouts were intelligent beings whose sole thoughts and intentions were directed exclusively towards me.

I was filled with terror, imagining that they were coming to destroy me. My inner eye watched them spin up the ledge then hover next to my body. They shimmered there for a few moments and then the spouts dissolved into a puddle. Up from the puddle arose the forms of what appeared to be two human beings, Male and Female. Their bodies were transparent/translucent. I intuitively understood that they weren’t a man and a woman in our earthly physical/sexual sense. They were spiritual beings who emanated profound intelligence as well as unconditional love and benevolence. Peace flowed out of them and into me. They 'asked' me to come with them to their home. But not in words- it was their inner wills in communion with my own inner will. We climbed easily up a path carved into the near vertical cliffs, and I caught a glimpse of their 'home' high above. It was in a shape I can’t describe, but the house itself was made of pure crystal shimmering in the sun.

In the vision’s next scene, the woman stood to my left in one of the crystal rooms (there was no furniture anywhere). We stood quietly side by side, looking out over the ocean. All the darkness of the sea and sky had disappeared. The sea was now smooth as glass, perfectly reflecting a brilliant sun and deep blue sky. There was no communication of any kind between me and this spirit. Just a deep sense of peace, calm and belonging. Suddenly, off to the right, a massive cyclone of trillions upon trillions of brilliant light particles whirled up from the ocean’s horizon and began spinning rapidly in our direction. The cyclone came nearer and nearer, about to fill the entire sky. Just then I had a deep knowing, like the knowing I had of the water spouts--- this cyclone was an intelligent entity and its entire being and focus was pointed at me. Again, I was filled with terror because I feared this hurricane of light would annihilate me. I couldn’t bear to look at this light and so closed my eyes, lowered my head and turned for comfort towards the woman at my left.

Then for the first time, she telepathized actual words. The words were clear and urgent: 'You must look up!' It was a command. I felt completely powerless to disobey and looked up. What met my eyes was an infinite field of sparkling light particles, flowing into my body.

At that exact moment of in-flowing light I awoke, filled with those feelings that can only feebly be called joy, peace, understanding. I can’t put this transcendent experience in words, any more than other people who have tried.

These feelings of joy, peace and understanding persisted for several days, gradually becoming fainter until they disappeared completely.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1977

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. sleep Other very healthy, in art school

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Every moment of this experienced was supercharged with deep moral and metaphysical reality. I remember this experience in complete detail to this very day. I can't say that about any other memory in my entire life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the entire experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was studying art at the time and art has a way of creating altered states of vision and awareness. But not nearly to the extent of this experience. I liken it to a biblical parable. I felt it was a journey through some of the indifference and even evil that exists in this world, and our struggles to rise above. We are also helped through the living presence of spiritual guides, of that I'm sure. This experience reflects all our lives: each and every day we are confronted with decisions where we have to choose between growth and goodness, or a kind of sliding back that happens with indifference and lack of clarity and intention.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No difference.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light that came at the end, the trillions of points of energy whirling in the immense hurricane filling the sky.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I was definitely on earth, but I would call it a 'metaphorical' earth; an exaggerated picture of earth. The blackest of black water, very ethereal frightening cliffs, the crystal home on top of the cliffs. People who also represented pure evil. I've never experienced people like that in real life.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Anxiety, terror counterbalanced with deep love and connection.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I feel I was shown something, a view behind the veil, that's undeniable and it's important to me to keep that present in my heart as much as possible.

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I'm currently unaffiliated but have faith in the existence of another realm above this. I don't even attempt to put words to this reality as words can't encompass it.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience During that time of my life I was in school and not too terribly interested in the spiritual or mystical, though I did read The Seth Materials around the same time as the experience. I probably considered myself agnostic like a lot of younger people do, though I don't believe I ever called myself an atheist. One of my favorite lines is from Shakespeare: 'There are more things in heaven and earth that are dreamt of in our philosophies.' I like that. A good reminder to never get too stuck in points of views, particularly metaphysical.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes, but not immediately. That experience affects me much more now than it did when it happened. I'd love to say I had a complete about face because at that time of life I felt somewhat lost and very insecure. I just had to slog through all that at an earthly pace and it took years until I felt I had wrestled with my demons enough to start manifesting my strength. I have to say I'm quite sure my guardian angels played a decisive role in that change. I was actually given a vision of what my work was going to be, an actual physical vision and immediately following that vision was the understanding that I had to do this thing, because we're all given a few crucial choices in life and to turn away at these crucial junctures is really a form of death itself. The next day after that vision I went to work starting my first serious business. I've had a couple other businesses as well and they too were definitely guided by spirits working for my betterment.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I encountered both my two spirit guides as well as the hurricane of light, which I feel was a manifestation of God.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I felt mystically bound to my spiritual guides, and was completely subsumed in the peace and understanding that came with my God encounter, but that didn't translate into a higher mystical sense of oneness with the Universe.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The cyclone of the myriad of incredibly bright points of light...this is what I understood was God. There are probably an infinite number of ways to experience God, but this for me was surely God.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes. As I mentioned earlier, in looking at this experience so many times over the years I can't help but feel it encapsulates our experiences here on earth. The choices we daily make between being awake, conscious and compassionate or not. We are here to try to purify our souls, that much is apparent and living with kindness, forgiveness and intent is what I strive for daily.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Again, the challenge it is to live with kindness and compassion, as well as turn from what is evil. I don't know if there's an actual force of evil or not but in this vision evil to me seemed to be linked to indifference, lack of caring.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love definitely flowed from my spirit guides, and whether these two beings are still present in my life or have been replaced by others, I can't help but feel we all have these spirits looking over us. Several times in my life I've been in danger and miraculously felt protected by who or what I don't know.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? At the time of the experience my life and outlook didn't change immensely except for the awe of having this experience. It's been with the passage of time combined with reflection that this experience has slowly ripened and changed my outlook.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Kindness and compassion are definitely something I try to embody in my life, but whether this is maturing or the result of the experience I don't know. Uncertain

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain By uncertain I mean that I can describe all my actions with clarity, but the feelings at the end of the experience were indescribable.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember this more accurately than any other memory in my life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I'm somewhat vague about the chronology, but definitely I had many psychic events after this experience. Dreams that exactly foresaw something in the future. Presentiments of death; specifically my father's and the father of a friend. Foreknowledge of certain people and the important role they were going to play in my life.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The vision of higher planes of spiritual existence. And they are planes that beings work their way up in, from plane to plane. The experience of evil on the plane I met with it was very unsettling and whether evil exists as a force or just a result of our ignorance. I go back and forth about.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I haven't shared it with very many people because I find that it makes some people uncomfortable and even dismissive. And it's also hard to really convey the emotions and thoughts to someone who hasn't had that experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It had more reality than waking earthly life itself.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Because it was so real it feels like a kind of roadmap for me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? no.

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