Catherine D NDE

Experience Description

I did not see myself getting out of my body nor floating above it, I just remember going into a wide and long tunnel, like entering a train tunnel. At the beginning, there was still earthly light. Then I entered darkness, which was not a complete event, as if it was getting denser and denser, and it filled the whole arch. The darkness was indeed not black but rather dark grey and thick in its outlines, dense; in the center, the void was clear.

At the end of this tunnel, I saw this beautiful, extremely attractive light, and to which I came closer very fast. It is very hard to describe this light. The light I saw does not exist on Earth. I would say LIGHT AND EVEN SHADOW might (?) look like what nuclear physics can produce: light is made of small ultra-bright dots, hyper-mobiles and DENSE, energy. Colors are very, very vivid, clear, as if PURE, and each light dot that makes up the light seems to be individual, but it participates to the whole that constitutes the light, and it seems to contain the whole color prism. As for the field of view, it encompasses all.

When I arrived where I could not go forward (I was at the end of the tunnel, on one side there was the light but I was still in darkness), this is when I heard God's voice who talked to me, HIS VOICE stopped me. His voice has an ACTING energy power. While He was talking to me, I did feel I could not move anymore, although I very much wanted to reach the light. My consciousness was clear, acute, this is a hyper-consciousness, ultra clear. Everything that has been told to me has been perceived and understood as being the TRUTH. This consciousness ENCOMPASSES ALL, just all. This is INSTANT consciousness. It is also different in the sense that communication is also realized through telepathy.

His presence (God's) was not a visual one, although I could have precisely said where He was, somewhat hidden in the shadow. His presence could be perceived through the energy mass I felt flowing out of Him and the place He was.

He was God, no need to introduce Himself. Not only does he communicate orally but also through telepathy, by placing TRUTHS in our mind. The fact that He was God was one of these truths he placed in my spirit.

As for what has been expressed or transmitted, I would say that in the beginning what He communicated to me was His dissatisfaction: what He printed in me was what He felt HIMSELF, and it was dissatisfaction. Afterwards, when I wanted to reply, He printed in me His firm but full of love authority, then He talked to me saying it was too early, that I could not enter the light and I had to go back because, 'I had something to do on Earth.' He did not mention anything of what was expected from me.

This was (when He talked to me) the most intense moment of my experience (God could read my thoughts); it is thus then that I had the highest level of consciousness and alertness. God's voice was very clear; I could therefore clearly identify the source. His voice was low and deep, as if it filled all, even myself inside. At the same time, His voice was quiet, pondered and acute, but full of authority and love. I say authority because at the time when I wanted to speak, I felt that HIS VOICE PREVENTED me from doing so: He read in my mind and answered the questions I had in my head.

After talking, things went very, very, very fast: I came back into my body at high speed, faster than when coming out, I don't know how much time later I awakened from coma with the feeling I had come back from the most beautiful journey you could do in a lifetime.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1983

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was in a coma.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the time when I arrived where I could not move forward. This was (when He talked to me) the most intense moment during my experience (God could read my thoughts). Thus this is when I had the highest level of consciousness and alertness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There is no time as you see it here (here it is short), time exists but in another dimension (bigger and longer and I would also say that it depends on the locations where you are). You also have the feeling that space seems to be unending (you feel that there are other dimensions behind each dimension). And also: in space, you 'float'.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. See main narrative for details. As for the field of view, it encompasses all.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The voice was very clear, I could therefore clearly identify the source. His voice was low and deep, as if it filled all, even myself inside. At the same time, His voice was quiet, pondered and acute, but full of authority and love. I say authority because at the time when I wanted to speak, I felt that HIS VOICE PREVENTED me from doing so: He read in my mind and answered the questions I had in my head.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was as if I was going into a wide and long tunnel, like entering a train tunnel. See main narrative for details.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Met God.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Alors là, j'ai une hésitation depuis presque toujours (car ce souvenir semble être venu APRES ) et que c'est la seule partie de l'expérience où je ne suis pas certaine à 400% de ce que j'ai vu parce que je sais pas comment j'aurais pu arriver dans ce lieu, ni à quel moment de l'expérience. En fait, ca ressemble à un vague souvenir: j'ai le sentiment que je me suis trouvée à un moment donné dans un lieu de lumière où tout était de couleur blanc-jaune clair étincellant (encore une fois cette couleur n'existe pas dans leur pureté sur terre) et dans ce lieu de lumière qui ne faisait pas partie du tunnel) il y avait des fontaines jaunes étincellantes d'où s'écoulaient un liquide qui semblait plus épais que de l'eau et lui-même de couleur jaune or (un peu comme de l'or fondu, un peu plus clair)

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extremely intense joy and happiness, airy BUT COMPLETE, WHICH ENGULFS ALL. A LOVE just as COMPLETE. And frustration when I had to come back.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I do not recall seeing past events in my life (I was fourteen). But for sure, I came back with obvious views and gifts. My faith became unshakable once for all and without any possible appeal, I believe in a God who is unique, UNIVERSAL, FULL OF LOVE and goodness. As for gifts, I came back as a psychic: I can see people's past, future and present, and I can also feel the presence of invisible spiritual beings, I relate to the spiritual too.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I did not go through this limit because it WAS IMPOSSIBLE to go through it (I wanted to do it and it was as if something invisible held me back. It was related to His voice - His voice has the ability to apply His will, it has an ACTING power - and to the fact that He read my thoughts and intentions). Yet, if I had crossed the imposed limit (and I don't see how I could have done this without His consent, unless I had charged the responsibility of my actions unto freewill,) I believe that the consequences (for wanting to enter too early where I couldn't) would have been to REGRESS in my evolution or, anyway, not to reach and receive all the GOOD that awaits me when time has come.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'J'étais croyante catholique, pratiquante et sincère dans mon coeur. je pratiquais ma foi surtout en moi-même.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Now I pray inwardly, no more by going to church according to rules set and transmitted by the religion. I also know that some Christian 'duties' just came from the way man wanted to interprets scriptures, therefore certain things considered as sin are not really sin, for instance faithfulness; God does not request from us that we be faithful, He wishes we love each other because love is HIS energy and by loving each other we feed His energy. I also pray for the world and not just for my relatives anymore. I also added some Wicca practices, using the elements and energies you pull from it, I never did this before.

What is your religion now? Moderate 'Je suis toujours croyante en un Dieu à dominante catholique mais je dirais que ma croyance est devenue en réalité ''universelle'', qu'elle n'est plus une foi mais une conviction en des lieux spirituels supérieurs et des êtres spirituels supérieurs ainsi qu'en Dieu et Jésus. Je pense notamment qu'il y a des erreurs fondamentales dans l'enseignement des religions, des manipulations dues aux interpretations humaines des textes sacrés et donc des principes faux qui nous sont transmis, qu'il n'y a qu'un seul Dieu qui nous est universel et que certaines règles qui nous sont données par nos chefs spirituels sont totalement FAUSSES, non demandées par Dieu. Par exemple: Dieu ne culpabilise jamais alors que la religion catholique penche vers la culpabilisation.'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Now I pray inwardly, no more by going to church according to rules set and transmitted by the religion. I also know that some Christian 'duties' just came from the way man wanted to interprets scriptures, therefore certain things considered as sin are not really sin, for instance faithfulness; God does not request from us that we be faithful, He wishes we love each other because love is HIS energy and by loving each other we feed His energy. I also pray for the world and not just for my relatives anymore. I also added some Wicca practices, using the elements and energies you pull from it, I never did this before.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes 1. I got confirmation of the universal ALL and divine love (visible AND invisible universe). Everything interacts (visible and invisible, good and evil) for a defined goal - reach spiritual perfection and KNOWLEDGE through the various spiritual levels and spaces (visible AND invisible, dark and bright etc.) according to an established hierarchy (power hierarchy exists) in which God is the supreme authority, energy, knowledge and expression. 2. God is love and goodness. 3. The aim of our life is to evolve to reach perfection.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Although I am very companionable, I became more lonely and secretive, i.e. I care less for superficial and frantic relations and activities, I rather care for understanding and knowledge about our world and parallel or invisible worlds.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The force and intensity of what is felt, the supreme beauty and this unconditional love concept, there exist no words to describe the experience. There is nothing of all of this exists on earth, neither in beauty, nor in force or anything, nothing compares to it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I came back with the ability to see he the past, the future and the present of familiar or unknown people, under the form of flashes or just using a medium (tarot). Very rarely, people who are 'passing' come to me when they depart or after they have gone. Sometime, I can also feel the presence of invisible spiritual beings (contact with angels), and very seldom I lightly rise my energy level, I reach other spheres (these are earthly ones but invisible and slightly higher). ALL THESE ABILITIES DEPEND ON THE QUALITY OF MY UNIVERSAL LOVE LEVEL AND OF MY OWN ENERGY STATES. I also think that I received the ability to feel COMPASSION. I believe I did not have it before.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The WHOLE experience is significant and entails one of the most important value, but should I have to point one part out, it would be the message of love and hope that results from it, as well as an increased knowledge of our existence goal and the infinite size of our UNIVERSE.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes No later than the day after I awakened from coma, because I was in a state of immense joy, still basking into this extraordinary love. I told it to my parents and to the doctors, these sent me to a psychiatrist in order to check my psychological state and my mental health. Then, right when the questions started, I understood that I had to stop talking because they are totally closed to anything they don't see, they believe that you say are tales or you are insane, but first of all, I just had tried to kill myself, so I only tell it to people who are sensitive to the spiritual.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had no doubt because no doubt was possible, everything was there in my memory, very present and for a very long time after I awakened from coma, I still felt very deeply all the blessings of this experience (joy, love, calm, serenity, beauty... These blessings directly ACTED in my life and in me, I've not been the same since then.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I am still 'connected' to the spiritual and to the spiritual spheres (visible and invisible).

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I had two NDEs in my life: one when I was fourteen, as it is the first one I chose it for this questionnaire, but I also had one when I was twenty-two.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? 1. I am eager to go back up there. 2. A frustration feeling remains with me because I have been told that I had something to do during this lifetime, and I've not been told what it was, twenty-six years later I still don't know what is expected from me! It is terribly frustrating. I feel like a blind man who has been requested to find a gem in a wood and who desperately searches for it: I have been requested to do something, I want to do it and I see time going by with the feeling that I walked next to that gem and I did not see it.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Yes, only one: particularly ask in your questionnaire if people who had a NDE had 'some things withdrawn'. For instance: I came back with ESP powers but I also lost some abilities!!