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Experience Description 2781: I was put under with anesthetic during an abortion. Although I was 'out' and surgery was underway, I could watch from above my bed what was going on below. I heard the nurse, and watched her as well, tell the doctor in a panicked voice, 'Her blood pressure is 0/60...quick, get ________.' (I can't remember the name) Then, I moved across the room, still above the ground, and went out into the hallway where I saw a doctor running towards the room and over to my bed. The next thing I knew I was awake and the surgery was over. I later confirmed the events with the nurse, who was quite shocked at my story and the accuracy of the events that took place. My NDE due to the ski accident brought me further, quicker to the 'next level'. The surgery experience was more hovering, watching from above while others work on you below. Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 1980 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Other during surgery How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I watched the doctor running down the hall. Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither time meant nothing Were your senses more vivid than usual? Neither Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No Did you see any beings in your experience? Neither Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? Neither Did you see an unearthly light? No Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Neither What emotions did you feel during the experience? Wow, that's me that they are talking about. I wonder what 60/0 (or 0/60) means. Is that a 'bad' thing? I was a bit confused as to why I was watching this event below and why I was up at the ceiling looking down. I didn't know why the doctor was running or where he was going. I just observed. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Did you come to a border or point of no return? Neither God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'catholic upbringing, not necessarily a true follower' Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No What is your religion now? Liberal none Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Neither Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more thoughtful, appreciative, caring with others. Less 'self-absorbed'. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? No Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have had instances of seeing an old woman in my window, although I am on the second floor. I found out the next day that her husband had died that night. I think she was coming to get him but was at the wrong house (only 15 feet away). Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes They just thought I was dreaming or crazy. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I said no on my NDE I submitted yesterday, only because this experience was completely different. But, after reading other stories, I guess you might be interested in two different levels of NDE. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I was young at the time. Hadn't heard anything about the term NDE and wasn't quite sure why or what took place other than being able to watch from above. What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Now that I had my second experience and had the one similar event occur, leaving my body and being above, I realize that this was a NDE as well. The difference was this surgical event left me hovering in the room, while the accident on the ski slope, I KNEW instantly that I was dead and went right up to the boundary of white clouds, met the deceased relatives and was sent back. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There are definitely difference between 'almost, or near death' and 'clinically dead'. One leaves you in a questionable, optional state, the other sends you on your way and the decision to come back is then in the hands of those who loved you prior to their death (or they are sent as messengers) Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Did you have any vivid 'last thought' prior to leaving? Could you speak? Could you move? Did communication take place without words? If you saw anyone, how did it appear that they moved? I.e. walked, floated, etc. What were they wearing? Did you experience any pain upon returning? Experience Description 2980: I had been married one year. My husband Bruce, three friends Kimmy, Glenn, Danny and myself went to ski in St. Anton, Austria. Our last day, Kim and I were following Bruce, but decided to find a friendlier slope. While traversing across, we heard Danny scream 'Watch Out!' We looked up to see Danny, midair above us, flying off a ski jump. We tried to get out of his way. I had my back turned when he came crashing into me. The pain was everywhere. As suddenly as the pain hit, it stopped. One of the most memorable parts of the experience was the KNOWING that I had just died. I went from pain everywhere, unbearable, only lasting a few seconds, to 'Ahhhhhhhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die!' a peaceful, calm, release as soon as the pain just stopped. I went through every possible emotion. The first being fear, seeing Danny and knowing what might happen if he hit me. Pain, when he hit. Calm, peace, release when the pain stopped and I had the realization that I was now dead and how I 'KNEW' that 'this is what it's like to die'. Then, I entered a void of nothing, not really being anywhere, but I was still aware of me. I became scared, not knowing what was going on, or where I was or was going. Not a real sense of movement, just a void and an upward sense. The next feeling was of not knowing where I was. I felt like just ahead, or that only my head was above this layer of white. I was in an all-white world, just my head peering above this cloudy layer separating me from below. Frightened. Quiet. Nothing anywhere. I couldn't talk, find my body to move anything. It seemed like several minutes went by while I waited, just scared, alone, unable to do anything but 'think' with my brain. There was a 'condensed' white area of brightness, far off in the corner of this flat level. To understand, picture your head chopped off, sitting on top of a layer of white cloud. You can't turn it, but you can look around. From that condensed area, two figures emerged. It appeared as if they were the length of a football field from me. They were dressed in long white robes with hoods covering their faces. They moved as if they were on a moving sidewalk. The side walk came out straight, and then turned at a corner and head toward me. I was scared, frightened, had no one around to comfort me, just felt really scared and alone. When they were within 20', they stopped. The first figure lifted his hood and revealed himself as my deceased Uncle John. Behind him, my grandmother. They were the only two close relatives at the time who were deceased. My uncle and I were very close. My grandmother and I, not so much. Truthfully, my grandmother and I never got along. She scared me. Seeing my uncle, however, I was soooooooo excited. I wanted to run to him, to hug him, to tell him I loved and missed him. I couldn't do anything. It was extremely frustrating trying to get any part of me to 'listen'. Instead, you 'think' your thoughts. It's like your body is below this layer, frozen in concrete, but your thoughts are happening. After what seemed like a minute of trying to get to him without success, he looked at me with this calmness. He shook his head slowly side to side, pulled his hood back down and did a 180 degree turn. My grandmother pulled her hood down and followed. I note the turns, always at right angles. The way the sidewalk came out and turned at a 45 degree, the way they turned and left. Precise. My next emotion was total hurt, frustration, angst at not being able to hug him, watching him leave me, being left alone again. The next feeling was intense sharp pain, as if someone had taken a knife and slit my chest open side to side. I looked up to see my husband leaning over me, one of the friends standing above, the others, just standing around. I was MAD!!! I was mad, angry, wanted to take out my frustration on these people who had, in the way I felt, been the reason I wasn't allowed to go with my uncle. The first words I heard were from my husband, who whispered in my ear so no one else could hear. 'Shhhh, don't say ANYTHING to make Danny feel bad. He's been crying because he thinks he killed you.'Here I just left this all white surreal world, and now my brain is trying to process what he's saying to me. Confusion. My head, my body, it all hurt, but my main feeling was 'What just happened? Where was I?' Being a new wife and not wanting to upset my husband, I said nothing to anyone. Everyone was acting really strange. Quiet. No one was talking. Just an awkward feeling. I felt like an outsider. They kept trying to get me to stand up, but I kept falling over. My husband decided we should go to the bar at the top and have a beer until I felt good enough to ski. The five of us sat at this large table, sipping beer. No one mentioned what had just happened. I wasn't allowed to mention what just happened. Instead I was being made to feel like I was keeping the gang from skiing their last day in Austria. My husband kept leaning over whispering 'Do you think you can ski yet?' My head hurt SO BAD, but I felt guilty so I said I'd try. I stood. I fell. Repeat. My husband offered me his ski poles to help me stand and ski since mine had snapped in the accident. They didn't help. Meanwhile my brain is still running through this video in my head of my NDE, unable to tell anyone because 'I would upset Danny.' After several failed attempts, my husband decided to send me down to the ski lodge to take a nap while they finished skiing for the day. So, curled in a ball on a chair, I tried to sleep. Don't remember much about that, just bad head pain. The next day our tour guide banging on our door at 6am telling us we had 10min to get on the bus awaked us or we'd miss our flight home. So everything you can do wrong with a head injury, I did. No medical, drank alcohol, slept, drank more that night, then got on a plane and flew from Austria to NY. Interesting to note, when we arrived at JFK, on the news was the Shell gas station across the street from our hotel in St. Anton, buried from an avalanche. If we hadn't been woken up, we would've been buried. I feel like death was chasing me. In 1994, I had seven seizures in one day. The doctor did an MRI. I will never forget this. He asked me if I had ever had any near death experience or major head trauma. I turned, looked at my husband who never believed me, and said 'YES! St. Anton!' He said I had an area of dead brain cells in my left temporal lobe, about the size of a marble, indicative of clinical death for 3 to 5 minutes. I turned to my husband and said 'I TOLD YOU I WAS DEAD!!!' To this day, I think he lives with guilt. No one will talk to me about it. Not even my girlfriend Kim. Part of me thinks they all feel guilty. Knowing my husband better now, I think his main concern at the time of the accident was with the laws in Austria. 'If I was really dead, what was going to happen to Danny?' I think that's what they were all standing around trying to figure out when I came to. No one was doing CPR, etc. No one even spoke about medical attention. Danny knew I was dead. He had me laying on his lap, rocking me back and forth screaming 'I killed her! I killed her!' This is about all I could get out of my husband, who said he had to take his skis off and climb up this steep slope when he heard Danny screaming. Since the accident, my memory doesn't store. I am eternally 28. I can remember things that I repeat, talk about repeatedly, or write down like this. I remember things or people that happened prior to 1994. It's an ongoing, constantly trying to figure out what I do remember, can and why Background Information 4977: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 1988 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident 'While skiing in St. Anton, a friend came off a ski jump above me and crushed me below. He was 6'4'' to my 5'5'', snapped my poles, etc.' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Clinical death was determined in 1994 after an MRI was performed following several seizures. I had not had seizures prior to this day. The doctor informed me that I have an area of dead brain cells in my left temporal lobe indicative of clinical death for. How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed The experience included: Out of body experience Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness It was all pretty even, just these for bullets: "Ahhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die!" Where am I? Who is that? Why can't I talk or run to you? No, don't leave me! Who did this! Who took me from my uncle! At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was all pretty even, just these for bullets: 'Ahhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die!' Where am I? Who is that? Why can't I talk or run to you? No, don't leave me! Who did this! Who took me from my uncle! Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The only 'time' issue was when I first entered as this head or 'container of thoughts', when I realized I couldn't move, was alone, didn't know what was happening, it seemed like it took a long time before my dead relatives appeared and came to me. But it could be just because I was scared. Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? There were no words spoken. Nothing to hear. Silence. Only sounds were Danny yelling 'Watch out!', then my husband whispering 'Shhhh, don't say anything to make Danny feel bad. He's been crying because he thinks he killed you.' Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I passed through a layer of all white, but only with my head. The experience included: Presence of deceased persons Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My uncle John and Grandmother, dressed like the Ku Klux Klan in all white robes with hoods. Nothing was spoken, but he let me know it wasn't my time and I had to return. They came to me on a moving sidewalk thing from a condensed area of bright white light off in the corner of this all white layer world. The experience included: Void The experience included: Darkness The experience included: Light Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I call it a condensed area of bright light, far off in the corner from where the two figures emerged. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Flat, bright, all white world with a condensed bright white round area about a football field away. The experience included: Strong emotional tone What emotions did you feel during the experience? Frightened, calm, sense of surreal, peace, scared & alone, frustration, excitement, frustration again, wondering, anger upon return. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future The experience included: Boundary Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I passed through the first boundary, that layer of white that I peeped up over. The next boundary would have been if my uncle and grandmother had allowed me to follow them back into that condensed white bright area of light from which they emerged. I was 'rejected' and returned. Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No What is your religion now? Liberal none beyond knowing now that there is another level after what we call living that we enter. Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion: During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I think my husband and I drifted apart, part due to his guilt, knowing that lack of medical attention and what went on at the time could have caused my inability to retain memory. I have no memories of my three girls growing up. I don't act my age and have no friends my age because while they all matured, I haven't. I figured out that we mature because of experience. If you can't remember those experiences, how do you mature? I go everywhere alone. I'm 50 and go to screaming metal rock concerts. I am well known by the concert venue employees. I attend over 70 concerts a year. I have an enhanced sense/need of music since the accident. I do not act like a mother to my daughters; I am more of a friend. I don't know how to be a 'real' mom. I have nothing in common with anyone over 35. My little sister feels like my mother, my husband feels like a father. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain The prior knowledge of communication can't be used. No words are spoken, I wanted to move, to speak, but couldn't. Frustration, not being able to find my body to move it. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes There have been numerous psychic experiences, but because my memory is disabled, I can only name a few. I have looked someone in the eye and in seconds I knew his girlfriend, whom I had never even met, had just had an abortion that day. Neither one of them had told me since I barely knew him. His friend, blown away by my sudden statement 'OMG, your girlfriend had an abortion!' I still can't believe I said it out loud, it just came out, decided to test me and asked what he was thinking about right then. I said 'Pebbles?' He looked dumbfounded and said, 'No, Rocks.' Since that night, they see me in a different light I think. My daughter and friends were saying goodbye to a friend going to Europe for a semester. She was nervous. I told her I see her having all kinds of fun with this redhead. She looked at me a little shocked because she had talked to another girl she hadn't met yet who was going, and she had red hair. Sure enough, their Facebook pages are filled with pictures of the two of them having a blast in Europe.I do this stuff all the time. I can just see things.I had a Ouija board experience that lasted 4 hrs. Nine girls, age 14, didn't know them beyond first names. Went to say goodnight and they begged me to ask a question. Two girls I never met controlled the pointer. I asked it my Uncle John's name. This board, these girls, spelled out 'DREIMILLER'. I asked his hometown. 'TICONDEROGA'. Do you have a message? It spelled out the name of my friend that I had just brought home from rehab. Told us he was going to OD. It named the drugs. This went on for 4 hours, it never got anything wrong. If it didn't know the answer, it stayed in the middle. Only three questions it didn't know. I got on it just to see and the damn thing just moved. I am 100% convinced that I have some connection Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I no longer have any fear of death. I know this is a place that you can only enter until you have completed what you are meant to accomplish on Earth. I will never forget that feeling when I just KNEW that I had died. That 'Ahhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die' has left me without any fear of death. I know I will see my deceased relatives again. I can't confirm 'friends', since I only saw relatives. I felt like I have been given a psychic gift that helps me connect with people who need help. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I get mixed reactions. It's about half and half. Those who have witnessed my psychic knowing are more likely to believe obviously. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain My knowledge prior was from the surgery experience, floating above my body, seeing it below on the operating table, floating out into the hallway, seeing the doctor coming down the hall to go work on me. This was in 1982. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It will always be real. The more psychic experiences I have, the more I am convinced that I was sent back to accomplish something. I have a growing list of troubled younger friends that I have met through strange circumstances. I have noticed that I connect to them with things I see, Ouija boards, etc. Despite my age difference with them, it doesn't matter. Part of me thinks I am not allowed to pass over until I help 'fix' these kids, guide them, whatever. I don't know how to explain this without sounding like I think I'm Mother Theresa. I don't look for these kids. They find me. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Experience Description 2780: While skiing with 4 friends in Austria, my girlfriend and I decided to traverse across a very steep run that went 'beyond the US's description of difficult slope.' The angle was steep, to say the least. My husband had skied ahead of us and was down below, when suddenly we heard Danny scream, 'Watch Out'. We both looked up to see him about 70' above us in the air, coming off a ski jump. Kim got out of the way, I was crushed by a 6'4", 200+ guy. I remember feeling intense, incredible pain EVERYWHERE, and then, it just stopped.At that instant, I can vividly remember thinking "So THIS is what it's like to die," with a calm feeling of acceptance. While thinking this I rose above my body and went up to a 'layer' or boundary as you implied earlier, of all white cloud-like matter. I felt like just a head sticking out of this layer of snow. I was looking around, feeling scared, not knowing where I was or what was happening. I couldn't move or talk, not that there was anyone there, yet. Then, out of the all-white world, back in the far left corner, was a condensed area of white cloud-like matter. It was an opening, tunnel area of some sort. In the distance came two figures, not quite walking or floating (hard to describe). They were dressed in white robes with white hoods covering their faces. I didn't know who or what they were until they were about 10' in front of me.Then, my uncle John lifted his hood. Behind him was my grandmother, both the only two people/relatives I knew to be deceased at the time. I was SO EXCITED to see my Uncle John. I loved him so much. But, I couldn't talk or run to him like I wanted. He didn't speak, just stood for a moment, with my grandmother still waiting behind him, then, he slowly shook his head, as if to say, 'No, it's not your time'. I painfully watched as he slowly turned and headed back towards the condensed white tunnel (area). My grandmother followed.The next feeling was incredible pain, like someone slicing my chest open with a knife. That first breath was brutal, to say the least, and I was MAD, ANGRY...looking around. I was not sure what had just happened. All I knew was these people around me just ruined my chance at hugging my Uncle John again. Was I angry! Of course, the only person I think who truly believed me was the guy who hit me. He had me in his arms; rocking me back and forth screaming, 'I killed her, I killed her'. I was told later that I have three minutes of dead brain cells, indicative of clinical death.Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 1980 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Other during surgery I saw the guy heading toward me in the air off the ski jump, so I knew SOMETHING would happen that wouldn't be 'pleasant' if he landed on me...but I think it was more fear of injury than death from the accident How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can vividly see that experience in my head better than what happened today. It's like a movie you enjoyed and re-watched 100 times. It's so surreal; you relive it over and over by yourself because most people don't believe you. At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I wanted to scream to my Uncle John to come back, AND that last thought 'So this is what it's like to die.' Were your thoughts speeded up? Neither Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither Time didn't matter anymore. Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Depth perception...looking so far away at the figures approaching me, but they reached me rather quickly now that I think about it. Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nobody spoke...the world was silent, completely. Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain After the experience, while pregnant, my Uncle John came to me in a dream down a white tunnel. This experience was just as real to me as the NDE. He handed me a baby, told me it was a girl, and gave me her name. He told me he has taken care of me so I could have my babies, but said now it was my turn. He left and went back up the tunnel. BTW, although Brianna was to be her name if it was a girl, anyone I told my 'dream' to loved the name 'Carly' that Uncle John had named her. So, her name is just as he said. Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Uncle John, Grandma were the only two people I knew to be dead at that time that I was close to. Communication was only through thoughts, no words. We could understand each other without speaking, he shook his head back and forth as if to say 'It's not your time.' Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was all white, but a light, not quite, more of a brightness all over with one really deep white area. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm The layer of white clouds, all white world, it was beautiful. What emotions did you feel during the experience? 'WOW, this is what it's like to die.' relaxed, at peace, accepting. Then with my deceased relatives, frustration at not being able to move to them, or speak to them. Also, scared, fearful when I first 'arrived' and didn't know where I was. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'catholic upbringing, not necessarily a true follower' Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No What is your religion now? Liberal none Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My husband and I have not gotten along due to the fact that he to this day, doesn't believe I was clinically dead, although a doctor reviewing an MRI after my 7th day of seizures asked us, 'Did she ever have any head injury?' When I said yes, he told me that the brain cells start to die as soon as it is deprived of oxygen/death and my left temporal lobe has 3 minutes worth. Other relationships have all disappeared because I no longer have a long term memory. Things last a week, but don't get stored in the long term box. I remember EVERYTHING prior to the accident, but only vivid events that are very traumatic or things I repeat over and over verbally. I have found friends don't like friends who can't 'share their memories' with. Also, having a husband write you off as a nut case and saying things like 'I am making up the memory problem because it's convenient' doesn't help. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? No Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have the experience described above where Uncle John came to me in my dream. He met me in a winding tunnel that came down towards me. He had something in his arms. When I asked he said, 'This is your daughter Carly. I have been taking care of her, but now it's your turn.' Then he handed her to me, and while I was looking down at her, he left back up the tunnel. I didn't know the sex prior to that dream, but I was POSITIVE it would be a girl after that experience. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Uncle John telling me it wasn't my time signified to me that I wasn't done with my 'chores' here on earth. There was more that I was supposed to do. Then, with the dream while pregnant, I think what he meant by 'taking care of my babies' was, right after giving birth to my last (3rd) daughter,1994, I began have seizures about 4 months after her birth. If those had occurred PRIOR to my pregnancies, I wouldn't have either 'been able due to drugs' or something could have happened to them if I had a seizure while pregnant. He held them off for me. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Right after. Other reactions are mixed. My husband, Mr. Textbook, still to this day thinks I was just 'passed out and dreaming'. This has been a HUGE barrier in our relationship. Not having my own husband believe me hurts. Other people are VERY interested, especially religious people. They like to hear about a glimpse into what's to come. BTW, my husband wasn't there when I had my NDE until that first breath. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I came back a different person. I used to be shy, a bit, now I have a new sense of confidence. I go everywhere by myself without any fear of what people think, I talk to strangers and tell them they have beautiful eyes if they do, or pretty hair, nice smile, etc. I love to see people smile. It's almost giving someone that same sense of 'calm' that I had when I knew I had died. They get the same serene smile/look on their face. Peaceful I guess. I actually never thought about that until now. Maybe that is part of the reason I was sent back...to let others know they each have something special they should feel good about. Sounds egotistical, I don't feel that way, but putting it in writing sure came out sounding that way. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? What was your last thought as the accident/event occurred? Experience Description 2441: A skier came off a ski jump at a fast speed, screamed 'watch out', and crashed on top of me. I remember feeling incredible pain everywhere, and then, 'it stopped' just like that.My last thought was 'So THIS is what it's like to die....' and I became this 'head'. Not a weighted down body, more like a light, free, thinking, silent-talking (no words spoken, but messages understood), head. I went 'up' until I reached this white world. All white with a brighter white 'hole-like' opening off in the distance. From that hole, while I was 'stuck' as this 'head' just able to watch, two figures slowly came towards me.They were dressed in long white robes, including hoods that covered their identities as they held their heads downward while they walked. When they were within ten feet of me, they both looked up to reveal themselves as my deceased uncle John (whom I LOVED!) and my grandmother behind him. I was SO EXCITED to see my Uncle John. I wanted to run to him and hug him, but I was stuck where I was, just this head peering above this cloud of white. As I was screaming silently 'Uncle John! Uncle John!' (Because I admit I was confused and scared and quite relieved to see a familiar face to help/explain where I was), he stopped short of me, shook his head as if to say 'No, it's not your time'. Slowly he turned with his head back down, while my grandmother followed. (I should note that they were the only deceased relatives that I personally knew at that time).Next thing I knew I felt like someone was slicing my chest open with a knife. Extremely painful taking that first breath! I was 'MAD'! I remember being ANGRY that I was SO CLOSE to hugging my uncle and these people must be the reason for ruining it. The first words I heard was my husband saying, 'Don't make Danny feel bad saying anything because he's been crying - he thinks he killed you!' So of course, I didn't get to share my experience or get any medical attention! They bought me a beer for my headache and left me in the lodge to sleep while they went back to skiing. Nice friends, huh?Overall, yes it changed my life. I talk to people I don't know now. I love meeting people, helping people. You only live once. I enjoy my life more now and I'm NOT afraid to die. Having loved ones pass on is not so painful knowing they are all up there together.I was told by doctors that I was clinically dead for approximately three minutes based on brain cells that were destroyed. I have been left with seizures, narcolepsy and no short term memory. I like to say I am eternally twenty-eight since I haven't made a new memory since. But that day, being my last real memory, will be with me forever! Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: February 1988 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Accident Skier came off ski jump above and crashed down on top of me Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my head was above the clouds watching the two figures coming towards me. Were your thoughts speeded up? Neither Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither Time didn't matter. Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I suppose, yes, I could see way off into the distance into that white hole far away where they walked from towards me. It was very dimensional, like a tunnel. (I have had my Uncle visit me since in a dream, where he came down a white tunnel to give me a message that came true.) Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Well, you didn't speak, but you communicated without words so hearing wasn't really 'real' so to 'speak' (sorry for the play on words!). Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I didn't pass through it, but I saw it in the distance. That's where the two figures came out of. Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met my Uncle John and my grandmother - the only two deceased relatives I knew at the time. They came from the tunnel towards me. Communication was only by me, trying to say with words, but no words would come, only thoughts 'Uncle John!' I wanted to run but couldn't. He merely shook his head to say it wasn't my time and left again back to the tunnel with my grandmother following. Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Not quite a light, but the tunnel/enclosure area was definitely brighter than the rest of the white world. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm Yes, I went up until I my 'head' was just above a white layer of clouds. The world was all white. It was like I was at a certain stage, frozen in that spot. Waiting to be greeted by my relatives, only to be told to go back because it wasn't my time. What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first when I thought 'so this is what it's like to die' I was very, very calm. Then when I reached the 'white world' I was a little scared while I had to 'wait' in that one spot unable to move while the white figures moved toward me. Excited to see my Uncle. Sad when I didn't get to hug him. Angry when I came back. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist none Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Religion has nothing to do with it at all. We all do to the same place and are greeted the same way. BUT, there is DEFINITELY SOMETHING beyond that tunnel that is running things. You just KNOW that because of the orderly fashion in which things are being run. Something is running all this. What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist none Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Religion has nothing to do with it at all. We all do to the same place and are greeted the same way. BUT, there is DEFINITELY SOMETHING beyond that tunnel that is running things. You just KNOW that because of the orderly fashion in which things are being run. Something is running all this. Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My engineer husband doesn't believe anything. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It is hard to describe the feeling of just being able to communicate without talking to my deceased uncle; and to describe the all white world and deeper white hole-like area they (grandmother and uncle) came walking slowly out of towards me. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have no short term memory so I can't be specific, but I do have a way of predicting things, or 'just knowing' certain things about people, etc. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing I get to see my parents again - I have peace knowing that. I know that they 'may' be able to be around me when they 'get' permission to come visit me. Somehow I feel like they have rules to follow beyond that tunnel - it just seemed so 'organized' the way they came out like they were on a path - and turned etc. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After the event occurred. No one really wanted to hear or talk about it for fear of upsetting Danny, the friend who hit me and had 'been crying'. (The other guys were 'embarrassed' for him.) Since then, I have found that people who have lost love ones appreciate hearing my experience. They are most likely to believe than the average 'engineer' type person. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Out of body experience once during a surgery - floated above myself while I watched the nurse yelling to the doctor that I was 0 over 60 - and I went out into the hallway and watched the doctor (from above) running down the hall over to my bed. Then, I was back as a body again. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It has and will always be real. I KNOW it happened. I don't care who believes it. They can wait and find out for themselves someday, but most of them won't come back to apologize to me for not believing me. What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The part where I went from 'extreme pain' to no pain at all and then my LAST THOUGHT being 'SO THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DIE.' Why on earth would I ever have that thought? I have never done that before when I've fallen down or been injured in any way. I pass out all the time and I don't have that thought. It was ONLY that time. THEN, after that thought, It all began. Nothing had started yet prior to that thought other than no pain anymore. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Uncle John came to me four years after the event while I was pregnant with my last child in a dream. He came down a long white tunnel, dressed the same way in white robe, holding something. When I asked what it was, he said 'It's your baby girl and her name is Carly. I have been taking care of your girls these past few years, but now it is your turn.' STRANGE THING IS, I did have a daughter the next month. Her name was GOING to be Brianna, but every time I told the dream to someone, they said 'I love that name Carly.' Well, she ended up being named Carly by popular demand, just like he told me her name would be. Also, a month after giving birth to my last of three girls, I began having seizures, and now take medications that would have kept me from having children. I am sure somehow, he protected me from these seizures until I had had all my children, and he made sure they were all born safe. And now 'I' protect them.
Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 1988 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident 'While skiing in St. Anton, a friend came off a ski jump above me and crushed me below. He was 6'4'' to my 5'5'', snapped my poles, etc.' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Clinical death was determined in 1994 after an MRI was performed following several seizures. I had not had seizures prior to this day. The doctor informed me that I have an area of dead brain cells in my left temporal lobe indicative of clinical death for.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed The experience included: Out of body experience Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness It was all pretty even, just these for bullets: "Ahhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die!" Where am I? Who is that? Why can't I talk or run to you? No, don't leave me! Who did this! Who took me from my uncle! At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was all pretty even, just these for bullets: 'Ahhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die!' Where am I? Who is that? Why can't I talk or run to you? No, don't leave me! Who did this! Who took me from my uncle! Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The only 'time' issue was when I first entered as this head or 'container of thoughts', when I realized I couldn't move, was alone, didn't know what was happening, it seemed like it took a long time before my dead relatives appeared and came to me. But it could be just because I was scared. Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? There were no words spoken. Nothing to hear. Silence. Only sounds were Danny yelling 'Watch out!', then my husband whispering 'Shhhh, don't say anything to make Danny feel bad. He's been crying because he thinks he killed you.' Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I passed through a layer of all white, but only with my head. The experience included: Presence of deceased persons Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My uncle John and Grandmother, dressed like the Ku Klux Klan in all white robes with hoods. Nothing was spoken, but he let me know it wasn't my time and I had to return. They came to me on a moving sidewalk thing from a condensed area of bright white light off in the corner of this all white layer world. The experience included: Void The experience included: Darkness The experience included: Light Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I call it a condensed area of bright light, far off in the corner from where the two figures emerged. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Flat, bright, all white world with a condensed bright white round area about a football field away. The experience included: Strong emotional tone What emotions did you feel during the experience? Frightened, calm, sense of surreal, peace, scared & alone, frustration, excitement, frustration again, wondering, anger upon return. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future The experience included: Boundary Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I passed through the first boundary, that layer of white that I peeped up over. The next boundary would have been if my uncle and grandmother had allowed me to follow them back into that condensed white bright area of light from which they emerged. I was 'rejected' and returned. Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No What is your religion now? Liberal none beyond knowing now that there is another level after what we call living that we enter. Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion: During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I think my husband and I drifted apart, part due to his guilt, knowing that lack of medical attention and what went on at the time could have caused my inability to retain memory. I have no memories of my three girls growing up. I don't act my age and have no friends my age because while they all matured, I haven't. I figured out that we mature because of experience. If you can't remember those experiences, how do you mature? I go everywhere alone. I'm 50 and go to screaming metal rock concerts. I am well known by the concert venue employees. I attend over 70 concerts a year. I have an enhanced sense/need of music since the accident. I do not act like a mother to my daughters; I am more of a friend. I don't know how to be a 'real' mom. I have nothing in common with anyone over 35. My little sister feels like my mother, my husband feels like a father. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain The prior knowledge of communication can't be used. No words are spoken, I wanted to move, to speak, but couldn't. Frustration, not being able to find my body to move it. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes There have been numerous psychic experiences, but because my memory is disabled, I can only name a few. I have looked someone in the eye and in seconds I knew his girlfriend, whom I had never even met, had just had an abortion that day. Neither one of them had told me since I barely knew him. His friend, blown away by my sudden statement 'OMG, your girlfriend had an abortion!' I still can't believe I said it out loud, it just came out, decided to test me and asked what he was thinking about right then. I said 'Pebbles?' He looked dumbfounded and said, 'No, Rocks.' Since that night, they see me in a different light I think. My daughter and friends were saying goodbye to a friend going to Europe for a semester. She was nervous. I told her I see her having all kinds of fun with this redhead. She looked at me a little shocked because she had talked to another girl she hadn't met yet who was going, and she had red hair. Sure enough, their Facebook pages are filled with pictures of the two of them having a blast in Europe.I do this stuff all the time. I can just see things.I had a Ouija board experience that lasted 4 hrs. Nine girls, age 14, didn't know them beyond first names. Went to say goodnight and they begged me to ask a question. Two girls I never met controlled the pointer. I asked it my Uncle John's name. This board, these girls, spelled out 'DREIMILLER'. I asked his hometown. 'TICONDEROGA'. Do you have a message? It spelled out the name of my friend that I had just brought home from rehab. Told us he was going to OD. It named the drugs. This went on for 4 hours, it never got anything wrong. If it didn't know the answer, it stayed in the middle. Only three questions it didn't know. I got on it just to see and the damn thing just moved. I am 100% convinced that I have some connection Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I no longer have any fear of death. I know this is a place that you can only enter until you have completed what you are meant to accomplish on Earth. I will never forget that feeling when I just KNEW that I had died. That 'Ahhhhh, so THIS is what it's like to die' has left me without any fear of death. I know I will see my deceased relatives again. I can't confirm 'friends', since I only saw relatives. I felt like I have been given a psychic gift that helps me connect with people who need help. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I get mixed reactions. It's about half and half. Those who have witnessed my psychic knowing are more likely to believe obviously. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain My knowledge prior was from the surgery experience, floating above my body, seeing it below on the operating table, floating out into the hallway, seeing the doctor coming down the hall to go work on me. This was in 1982. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It will always be real. The more psychic experiences I have, the more I am convinced that I was sent back to accomplish something. I have a growing list of troubled younger friends that I have met through strange circumstances. I have noticed that I connect to them with things I see, Ouija boards, etc. Despite my age difference with them, it doesn't matter. Part of me thinks I am not allowed to pass over until I help 'fix' these kids, guide them, whatever. I don't know how to explain this without sounding like I think I'm Mother Theresa. I don't look for these kids. They find me. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Experience Description 2780: While skiing with 4 friends in Austria, my girlfriend and I decided to traverse across a very steep run that went 'beyond the US's description of difficult slope.' The angle was steep, to say the least. My husband had skied ahead of us and was down below, when suddenly we heard Danny scream, 'Watch Out'. We both looked up to see him about 70' above us in the air, coming off a ski jump. Kim got out of the way, I was crushed by a 6'4", 200+ guy. I remember feeling intense, incredible pain EVERYWHERE, and then, it just stopped.At that instant, I can vividly remember thinking "So THIS is what it's like to die," with a calm feeling of acceptance. While thinking this I rose above my body and went up to a 'layer' or boundary as you implied earlier, of all white cloud-like matter. I felt like just a head sticking out of this layer of snow. I was looking around, feeling scared, not knowing where I was or what was happening. I couldn't move or talk, not that there was anyone there, yet. Then, out of the all-white world, back in the far left corner, was a condensed area of white cloud-like matter. It was an opening, tunnel area of some sort. In the distance came two figures, not quite walking or floating (hard to describe). They were dressed in white robes with white hoods covering their faces. I didn't know who or what they were until they were about 10' in front of me.Then, my uncle John lifted his hood. Behind him was my grandmother, both the only two people/relatives I knew to be deceased at the time. I was SO EXCITED to see my Uncle John. I loved him so much. But, I couldn't talk or run to him like I wanted. He didn't speak, just stood for a moment, with my grandmother still waiting behind him, then, he slowly shook his head, as if to say, 'No, it's not your time'. I painfully watched as he slowly turned and headed back towards the condensed white tunnel (area). My grandmother followed.The next feeling was incredible pain, like someone slicing my chest open with a knife. That first breath was brutal, to say the least, and I was MAD, ANGRY...looking around. I was not sure what had just happened. All I knew was these people around me just ruined my chance at hugging my Uncle John again. Was I angry! Of course, the only person I think who truly believed me was the guy who hit me. He had me in his arms; rocking me back and forth screaming, 'I killed her, I killed her'. I was told later that I have three minutes of dead brain cells, indicative of clinical death.Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 1980 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Other during surgery I saw the guy heading toward me in the air off the ski jump, so I knew SOMETHING would happen that wouldn't be 'pleasant' if he landed on me...but I think it was more fear of injury than death from the accident How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can vividly see that experience in my head better than what happened today. It's like a movie you enjoyed and re-watched 100 times. It's so surreal; you relive it over and over by yourself because most people don't believe you. At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I wanted to scream to my Uncle John to come back, AND that last thought 'So this is what it's like to die.' Were your thoughts speeded up? Neither Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither Time didn't matter anymore. Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Depth perception...looking so far away at the figures approaching me, but they reached me rather quickly now that I think about it. Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nobody spoke...the world was silent, completely. Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain After the experience, while pregnant, my Uncle John came to me in a dream down a white tunnel. This experience was just as real to me as the NDE. He handed me a baby, told me it was a girl, and gave me her name. He told me he has taken care of me so I could have my babies, but said now it was my turn. He left and went back up the tunnel. BTW, although Brianna was to be her name if it was a girl, anyone I told my 'dream' to loved the name 'Carly' that Uncle John had named her. So, her name is just as he said. Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Uncle John, Grandma were the only two people I knew to be dead at that time that I was close to. Communication was only through thoughts, no words. We could understand each other without speaking, he shook his head back and forth as if to say 'It's not your time.' Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was all white, but a light, not quite, more of a brightness all over with one really deep white area. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm The layer of white clouds, all white world, it was beautiful. What emotions did you feel during the experience? 'WOW, this is what it's like to die.' relaxed, at peace, accepting. Then with my deceased relatives, frustration at not being able to move to them, or speak to them. Also, scared, fearful when I first 'arrived' and didn't know where I was. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'catholic upbringing, not necessarily a true follower' Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No What is your religion now? Liberal none Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My husband and I have not gotten along due to the fact that he to this day, doesn't believe I was clinically dead, although a doctor reviewing an MRI after my 7th day of seizures asked us, 'Did she ever have any head injury?' When I said yes, he told me that the brain cells start to die as soon as it is deprived of oxygen/death and my left temporal lobe has 3 minutes worth. Other relationships have all disappeared because I no longer have a long term memory. Things last a week, but don't get stored in the long term box. I remember EVERYTHING prior to the accident, but only vivid events that are very traumatic or things I repeat over and over verbally. I have found friends don't like friends who can't 'share their memories' with. Also, having a husband write you off as a nut case and saying things like 'I am making up the memory problem because it's convenient' doesn't help. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? No Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have the experience described above where Uncle John came to me in my dream. He met me in a winding tunnel that came down towards me. He had something in his arms. When I asked he said, 'This is your daughter Carly. I have been taking care of her, but now it's your turn.' Then he handed her to me, and while I was looking down at her, he left back up the tunnel. I didn't know the sex prior to that dream, but I was POSITIVE it would be a girl after that experience. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Uncle John telling me it wasn't my time signified to me that I wasn't done with my 'chores' here on earth. There was more that I was supposed to do. Then, with the dream while pregnant, I think what he meant by 'taking care of my babies' was, right after giving birth to my last (3rd) daughter,1994, I began have seizures about 4 months after her birth. If those had occurred PRIOR to my pregnancies, I wouldn't have either 'been able due to drugs' or something could have happened to them if I had a seizure while pregnant. He held them off for me. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Right after. Other reactions are mixed. My husband, Mr. Textbook, still to this day thinks I was just 'passed out and dreaming'. This has been a HUGE barrier in our relationship. Not having my own husband believe me hurts. Other people are VERY interested, especially religious people. They like to hear about a glimpse into what's to come. BTW, my husband wasn't there when I had my NDE until that first breath. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I came back a different person. I used to be shy, a bit, now I have a new sense of confidence. I go everywhere by myself without any fear of what people think, I talk to strangers and tell them they have beautiful eyes if they do, or pretty hair, nice smile, etc. I love to see people smile. It's almost giving someone that same sense of 'calm' that I had when I knew I had died. They get the same serene smile/look on their face. Peaceful I guess. I actually never thought about that until now. Maybe that is part of the reason I was sent back...to let others know they each have something special they should feel good about. Sounds egotistical, I don't feel that way, but putting it in writing sure came out sounding that way. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? What was your last thought as the accident/event occurred? Experience Description 2441: A skier came off a ski jump at a fast speed, screamed 'watch out', and crashed on top of me. I remember feeling incredible pain everywhere, and then, 'it stopped' just like that.My last thought was 'So THIS is what it's like to die....' and I became this 'head'. Not a weighted down body, more like a light, free, thinking, silent-talking (no words spoken, but messages understood), head. I went 'up' until I reached this white world. All white with a brighter white 'hole-like' opening off in the distance. From that hole, while I was 'stuck' as this 'head' just able to watch, two figures slowly came towards me.They were dressed in long white robes, including hoods that covered their identities as they held their heads downward while they walked. When they were within ten feet of me, they both looked up to reveal themselves as my deceased uncle John (whom I LOVED!) and my grandmother behind him. I was SO EXCITED to see my Uncle John. I wanted to run to him and hug him, but I was stuck where I was, just this head peering above this cloud of white. As I was screaming silently 'Uncle John! Uncle John!' (Because I admit I was confused and scared and quite relieved to see a familiar face to help/explain where I was), he stopped short of me, shook his head as if to say 'No, it's not your time'. Slowly he turned with his head back down, while my grandmother followed. (I should note that they were the only deceased relatives that I personally knew at that time).Next thing I knew I felt like someone was slicing my chest open with a knife. Extremely painful taking that first breath! I was 'MAD'! I remember being ANGRY that I was SO CLOSE to hugging my uncle and these people must be the reason for ruining it. The first words I heard was my husband saying, 'Don't make Danny feel bad saying anything because he's been crying - he thinks he killed you!' So of course, I didn't get to share my experience or get any medical attention! They bought me a beer for my headache and left me in the lodge to sleep while they went back to skiing. Nice friends, huh?Overall, yes it changed my life. I talk to people I don't know now. I love meeting people, helping people. You only live once. I enjoy my life more now and I'm NOT afraid to die. Having loved ones pass on is not so painful knowing they are all up there together.I was told by doctors that I was clinically dead for approximately three minutes based on brain cells that were destroyed. I have been left with seizures, narcolepsy and no short term memory. I like to say I am eternally twenty-eight since I haven't made a new memory since. But that day, being my last real memory, will be with me forever! Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: February 1988 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Accident Skier came off ski jump above and crashed down on top of me Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my head was above the clouds watching the two figures coming towards me. Were your thoughts speeded up? Neither Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither Time didn't matter. Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I suppose, yes, I could see way off into the distance into that white hole far away where they walked from towards me. It was very dimensional, like a tunnel. (I have had my Uncle visit me since in a dream, where he came down a white tunnel to give me a message that came true.) Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Well, you didn't speak, but you communicated without words so hearing wasn't really 'real' so to 'speak' (sorry for the play on words!). Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I didn't pass through it, but I saw it in the distance. That's where the two figures came out of. Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met my Uncle John and my grandmother - the only two deceased relatives I knew at the time. They came from the tunnel towards me. Communication was only by me, trying to say with words, but no words would come, only thoughts 'Uncle John!' I wanted to run but couldn't. He merely shook his head to say it wasn't my time and left again back to the tunnel with my grandmother following. Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Not quite a light, but the tunnel/enclosure area was definitely brighter than the rest of the white world. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm Yes, I went up until I my 'head' was just above a white layer of clouds. The world was all white. It was like I was at a certain stage, frozen in that spot. Waiting to be greeted by my relatives, only to be told to go back because it wasn't my time. What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first when I thought 'so this is what it's like to die' I was very, very calm. Then when I reached the 'white world' I was a little scared while I had to 'wait' in that one spot unable to move while the white figures moved toward me. Excited to see my Uncle. Sad when I didn't get to hug him. Angry when I came back. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist none Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Religion has nothing to do with it at all. We all do to the same place and are greeted the same way. BUT, there is DEFINITELY SOMETHING beyond that tunnel that is running things. You just KNOW that because of the orderly fashion in which things are being run. Something is running all this. What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist none Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Religion has nothing to do with it at all. We all do to the same place and are greeted the same way. BUT, there is DEFINITELY SOMETHING beyond that tunnel that is running things. You just KNOW that because of the orderly fashion in which things are being run. Something is running all this. Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My engineer husband doesn't believe anything. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It is hard to describe the feeling of just being able to communicate without talking to my deceased uncle; and to describe the all white world and deeper white hole-like area they (grandmother and uncle) came walking slowly out of towards me. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have no short term memory so I can't be specific, but I do have a way of predicting things, or 'just knowing' certain things about people, etc. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing I get to see my parents again - I have peace knowing that. I know that they 'may' be able to be around me when they 'get' permission to come visit me. Somehow I feel like they have rules to follow beyond that tunnel - it just seemed so 'organized' the way they came out like they were on a path - and turned etc. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After the event occurred. No one really wanted to hear or talk about it for fear of upsetting Danny, the friend who hit me and had 'been crying'. (The other guys were 'embarrassed' for him.) Since then, I have found that people who have lost love ones appreciate hearing my experience. They are most likely to believe than the average 'engineer' type person. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Out of body experience once during a surgery - floated above myself while I watched the nurse yelling to the doctor that I was 0 over 60 - and I went out into the hallway and watched the doctor (from above) running down the hall over to my bed. Then, I was back as a body again. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It has and will always be real. I KNOW it happened. I don't care who believes it. They can wait and find out for themselves someday, but most of them won't come back to apologize to me for not believing me. What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The part where I went from 'extreme pain' to no pain at all and then my LAST THOUGHT being 'SO THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DIE.' Why on earth would I ever have that thought? I have never done that before when I've fallen down or been injured in any way. I pass out all the time and I don't have that thought. It was ONLY that time. THEN, after that thought, It all began. Nothing had started yet prior to that thought other than no pain anymore. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Uncle John came to me four years after the event while I was pregnant with my last child in a dream. He came down a long white tunnel, dressed the same way in white robe, holding something. When I asked what it was, he said 'It's your baby girl and her name is Carly. I have been taking care of your girls these past few years, but now it is your turn.' STRANGE THING IS, I did have a daughter the next month. Her name was GOING to be Brianna, but every time I told the dream to someone, they said 'I love that name Carly.' Well, she ended up being named Carly by popular demand, just like he told me her name would be. Also, a month after giving birth to my last of three girls, I began having seizures, and now take medications that would have kept me from having children. I am sure somehow, he protected me from these seizures until I had had all my children, and he made sure they were all born safe. And now 'I' protect them.
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