Charles W NDE

Experience Description

BEFORE THE EXPERIENCE

On June 27, 2017, I had a heart attack at work. An ambulance took me to the nearby hospital, and the doctors discovered that my left anterior artery was blocked; they wanted to insert a stent through a catheter inserted into my femoral artery. I was on the operating table for this, they began the procedure; I may have had some local anesthetic, but was conscious for the procedure. The room was fairly noisy and active. Although they had a cloth screening the area where they were working, I caught sight of some bloody gauze being taken away, and (as I'm fairly squeamish about blood) I decided to look completely away from where they were working. There was a clock on the wall behind me, and I decided to focus on that. I watched the clock move from 10:00 to 10:01 to 10:02.

THE EXPERIENCE

Suddenly, I was in another place: a large room filled with rows of long tables. At each table there were people in lab coats doing 'science' things: looking through microscopes, doing things with test tubes and scales, writing notes, occasionally talking to each other. Everyone was wearing white lab coats but from the details I could see--hair, makeup, eyeglasses--it looked like they were from the 1950s or early 1960s, except the gender balance was better than one might expect for a lab in the 1950s (almost evenly men and women). (Also, there were no obvious laptops or other electronic devices.) I was in the room with them, standing in front of the tables and observing, but the people were not noticing or interacting with me. The scene was relatively quiet, but not static: the scientists were occasionally talking softly to each other, moving, changing microscope slides, doing things with test tubes, someone occasionally bringing something to someone else. It was peaceful and calm, and the scientists seemed to have a sense of purpose. The oddest thing about the scene was that everything was in black-and-white--like an old movie, but I was not watching a movie, I was there in the room with them--if I'd looked down at myself, I would have been in black-and-white as well. I had no sense of time passing: I was standing there, watching the scientists do their work, for an indefinite period. It was calm and peaceful.

THE AFTERMATH

From this calm scene, I was suddenly back on the operating table--people were shouting and I had curled up into the fetal position. My doctor was telling me to relax. I did, and they went on with the procedure. I looked back at the clock and it was 10:05, just a few minutes had passed.

What I later found out had happened was that my heart had stopped in the middle of the procedure. They used the defibrillator on me, which restarted my heart, but caused me to curl up, and they were afraid this would be a problem with the catheter (and I did have some post-op issues, possibly as a result). But they were able to unblock the artery with the stent and the operation was a success.

SOME NOTES ON THE EXPERIENCE:

- The fact of the experience being seen by me in black-and-white was puzzling. I dream in color, so this wasn't a case of it being like a dream. I wondered if this was a way of my brain saving 'bandwidth' for the medical emergency going on--with digital video, of course, color takes much more bandwidth than black-and-white.

- The black-and-white of the scene was deeply saturated: the black was very black. The quality of the black-and-white was very like that in the movie 'Eraserhead' (the DVD has an app to set the black balance to get the director's intended effect, which is how I'm familiar with this).

- The scene with people in lab coats working at tables was somehow a bit familiar; about a year later, I was waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy when I realized that this could be the source or inspiration of the scene: at the pharmacy, the pharmacists work at a long table in front of a window. It's not the same overall setting and there were rows of tables instead of just the one, but the arrangement was oddly familiar.

MEANING?

Obviously, I've thought about this a lot since then, and discussed the experience with my cardiologist (who suggested that my idea that the scene being in black-and-white to save 'bandwidth' might be right for computers, but probably not for humans). The conclusion that I've come to is that this was something my (unconscious) brain was doing to calm (conscious) me--the message of the experience, as I understand it now, was that 'medical science will save you"--and to allow my brain and body to focus on the more urgent issue of my heart stopping. I still think the use of the black-and-white imagery may have been to save having to invent color details for this distraction, but maybe it was also to give me a distraction in itself of thinking about this oddity, maybe evoking a film that I knew. If I'm right, it was successful--I got through it and am doing well now, four years later. Although the experience was neutral at the time, I feel very positive about it now.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 06/27/2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Heart attack Life threatening event, but not clinical death I had/was having a heart attack; I was on the operating table getting a stent implanted when my heart stopped, which is when the experience happened.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness It's hard to say; consciousness and alertness were fairly normal, but the odd nature of the experience being in black-and-white and a calm, quiet scene (in contrast to the relatively noisy operating room in which I was) makes it hard to say--maybe slightly more conscious and alert?

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout (it didn't change during the experience)

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual I did not really feel the passage of time, so slower?

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Of course, the fact that everything was in black-and-white in the experience, and a particularly saturated black-and-white, was very different.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have the idea that my hearing was heightened during the experience--perhaps because the scene itself was so quiet

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The living beings were the scientists I was watching--none of them people known to me

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I was in a room where I did not know the location--some sort of lab where the scientists I was watching were working

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm, peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist I was raised as an evangelical/fundamentalist Christian; I rejected this, was a Buddhist for a while in college, since then an atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist I was raised as an evangelical/fundamentalist Christian; I rejected this, was a Buddhist for a while in college, since then an atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience My after-the-fact interpretation of this experience--that this was my brain telling me that medical science would save me and I was not to panic--is consistent with my beliefs at the time of the experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain My idea that this experience was something my brain created to keep me calm has given me even more respect for the human brain! I don't know if that is what is being asked here.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I feel like the experience may have given me more confidence, a greater appreciation of what my brain (and body) can do

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain I can give a narrative of the experience fairly easily, but don't feel like this entirely expresses what was going on--it's hard to articulate

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.e experience My memories of what came before (heart attack) and after (immediate post-op recovery) the experience are less vivid and accurate than my memories of the experience; the before memories probably because I was in pain and anxious, and after because I was sedated.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing was meaningful to me; it affirmed my idea that a faith in science in important

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared this with a good friend of mine a few days afterward; with a few other friends somewhat later, and with my cardiologist during a follow-up exam. All were receptive and not dismissive.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real This depends on what we mean by 'real": the experience was very vivid and I know I had it at the time I had it; but I don't believe that I physically went to a different place during the experience--it happened in my brain.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real This depends on what we mean by 'real": the experience was very vivid and I know I had it at the time I had it; but I don't believe that I physically went to a different place during the experience--it happened in my brain.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain As described above, certain details of the experience (the setting, the nature of the black-and-white) are things that I've observed since as possible sources of aspects of the experience.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I'm glad I had it; I think it helped me in the moment not to panic, and it has also been fascinating and intellectually rewarding to think about

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I appreciate the questions and the order in which they're asked--that has been helpful to think about this. Some of the questions are hard to answer due to the limitations of language (e.g., the term 'real' and what that really means)