Chris C NDE

Experience Description

In 1988, I was around 9 years old when it happened. I don’t remember the exact date. I did tell my best friend that I’d experienced something weird. Since I was unharmed by the experience, I brushed it aside, kept it to myself, and moved on.

Other people told me that I’d been unconscious for around 1-2 minutes.

I was at school; it must have been autumn or spring. The weather was nice and I had light-weight clothes on. Scotland is very dark and cold in the winter, so I know it wasn’t then.

I’d heard that some kids in other schools were doing this technique for self-induced unconsciousness. I thought it sounded interesting, so decided to give it a try.

We didn’t understand at the time, but this can have the effect of stopping blood-flow to the brain and subsequently causing unconsciousness. I later heard that this technique can be fatal in some cases, or lead to severe aftereffects.

I tried this a few times on the playground during recess. A couple of other friends tried also. It didn’t seem to work. I must have tried again in the hallway of the school, but I don’t remember initiating it. This time it was successful.

I suddenly found myself in a different realm. It was formless, light, and colorful. I didn't see anyone. It was like a soft, light-bath. I was fully surrounded in and a part of this light. I felt at one with the light and at peace. I was definitely ‘me,’ but I didn't’ have a body. In this place, my old life didn’t exist. I had no thought of the life on earth. I was just there, and 'there' was perfect.

Then I felt a strange, sucking sensation. It felt like I was being pulled into and becoming something else at the same time. As I got closer, I could see my old life coming back to me. I suddenly remembered I had this other life with school, family, and friends. I had a sinking feeling of ‘oh no, not this’ and I knew I’d have to face all the mess of normal life again. I even had this feeling about my own family. Although I loved them, my family was imperfect and unhappy in many ways.

The realm I visited is so hard to quantify or describe, because it was totally formless so it was purely a subjective experience. There is no way to explain it to other people. When I came back to my body, I recognized my life with the feeling of ‘oh this thing again.’ It was as if I had forgotten about this life, but then remembered it only when I came back into the body.

In my life I’ve experienced many altered states of consciousness, but nothing was like that. I’ve had dreams and nightmare like most people, and I’ve also taken psychedelic drugs including quite a few ‘trips’ on strong doses of magic mushrooms that grow in the wild in Scotland. I was in my late teens and early 20s when I did those. For me the drug trips were almost all terrible nightmares. During that time, I was very depressed, which probably made those experiences more negative. I remember one trip where I went very deep into negative mental states and thought I’d never recover. The feeling was like, ‘now that I see things this way, I can never unsee them, so I'll never be able to reset back to normal mental state’. Of course, I did reset a day or two later. So, the fears were unfounded. But I mention this to highlight that my NDE experience was nothing like an acid trip. In the acid trip, it’s fundamentally a mental experience. For instance, you know you’re on planet earth and you know you’ve taken a substance.

But then your mind starts telling you things about the nature of reality and of yourself. Maybe reality is X or Y, or maybe I am doomed or blessed. But either way, I’m still here on planet earth, amongst these people, and in my body. It’s just that the filter I see everything through - even the filter of my own thoughts and mental state - is radically distorted.

With the NDE experience, I was no longer in the physical dimension at all. It was not a distorted version of this reality, but an entirely different type of reality altogether. Again, it’s very hard to explain but that’s all I can really say.

During the last 30 years, I lost connection to the source or spirit. I became incredibly depressed, fearful, and anxious. I have struggled with low confidence and self-esteem. Yet, I’ve gradually managed to rebuild my internal life, piece by piece. Recently, I quit my jobs and decided to find out what this life is all about. I suddenly had strong memories of my NDE and started looking into other NDE reports and watched videos like the interviews by Anthony Chene on YouTube. I know my experience is true.

I’m very grateful to all NDErs for sharing their experiences. It’s really hard to do, and even harder to integrate that experience into ‘normal’ life. I hope I can get better at that, and in doing so make a genuinely positive contribution to the world.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: September 10, 1988

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Accident Self-induced loss of consciousness. Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I felt completely at peace and completely whole, with no racing thoughts or conflicting urges. I was just completely at one, in love, and in peace, yet fully conscious. I think it was not more alert or conscious, but rather it was purer consciousness, no distraction or different things competing for my attention. There was also no desire for anything, no appetite, no plan, and no sense of time. There weren’t really any thoughts either. I was just experiencing. I also had no intention. It was really just pure bliss. I wouldn’t have wanted to change a thing or move on from this experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While in the formless realm of light

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time ceased to have meaning because there were no things or events happening. All was one.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The realm was formless. It was full of light and color. If I imagine now being in a realm like that, it sounds scary; like losing one’s sight or going into a vortex. I’d want to reach out and touch familiar things, talk to familiar people, see the world I know. But in that realm, I was aware of none of those things. I felt only peace and love.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don’t recall hearing anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It wasn’t so much me (the subject) seeing the light (the object). I was 'in' and 'of' the light at the same time.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was just this one scene of light, love, incredible joy, feelings of safety and security, beauty and unity.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? While in the other realm, I felt the most profound sense of wholeness, love, peace, and warmth. When I was coming back to consciousness, the overriding thought was ‘oh no, not this world again.’ I had a sense of reluctance as I could clearly see how this world is a mess. I very quickly woke up and then got back to the business of normal life again. The transition was quick and relatively smooth.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was brought up in an alternative Christian (Rudolf Steiner) environment. I wasn't religious at the age of 9, yet I was definitely affected by the environment.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic. I believe all religions might point to the same thing, but have been corrupted by society.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. As a young child of 4 or 5 years old, I had an ‘imaginary’ friend. I also had visions or feelings of spiritual things. I think some of those visions or feelings came close to what I saw and felt in my NDE experience. But from the age of 6 or 7, I didn't have these feelings or visions anymore. Yet the NDE experience was somehow both very unfamiliar and yet at a deeper level, it was the most familiar thing possible. I do not recall feeling anything as vivid as my NDE in this lifetime.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I buried the memory of this experience. Later in life, I started to believe it’s just a hallucination like scientists say. But I’ve come back around to thinking there is more to the experience than just being a hallucination.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain. I only know what I experienced, which is nothing like anything in this normal earthy life. I know that something else exists that is beyond what I experience on earth, but what that might be is still unclear to me.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain. I did not receive specific information, but felt that our earthly life’s difficulties and challenges are not absolute. Rather, the challenges are only one type of experience we can have. Therefore, we should not think that this earthly life is all there is. The materialistic/nihilistic view of the world is definitely an error.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I was aware of a kind of love that is all-encompassing, unconditional, and completely pure. This is love that we can't experience on this earth, unless we are connected to the other dimension through NDE or other ways. I know many holy people talk or write about love, but I don’t know for sure what they meant. But I do think that I know what love means when NDErs talk about it.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. In 32 years, I’ve been through all kinds of changes. I think that I was too young, and the NDE too short to have a major impact on my life at the time. Yet, I think the way my life has turned out has a lot to do with my experience. I think because of that experience, knowing deep-down there is more to life than meets the eye, I could never do things the normal way, and that led to a lot of struggle for me.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It’s hard to describe a place that makes everything we know about the physical universe seem like just one theme, and not the ultimate essential theme. The language we use only refers to this dimension, but I think more importantly the focus of the experience is the quality of the experience. When other NDErs talk about their experience, I can relate very much. If one knows about the other side, then language can explain it, but if one doesn’t know then language fails.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. The experience is incredibly vivid. I can't remember much about the time of day or the date of the month, but the experience, feelings, and sensations, I clearly remember. I especially remember the return to this world, and the feeling of ‘oh I’d forgotten about this world, but yeah I need to do this now.’ My knowledge that this entire reality can be contrasted with another reality, that is what I find most profound. That’s the key thing.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told a friend at school. He reacted like, ‘oh ok, that sounds weird. You probably imagined it.’ I have mentioned it to others over time. As I continue to talk about my NDE, it stopped being about the nature and reality of the experience itself, and became more about the ‘me’ who’d had the experience. That really is the wrong way to view the experience, because the 'me' of this world doesn’t exist on that side. Yet, I talk to others this way because it is the only way they can relate to what I experienced.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I just knew it was an experience, but at that age didn’t conceptualize it much. When I realized that people wouldn't understand what I was talking about, I would say that I went unconscious and had a weird dream. Yet, I knew that it really happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes