Chris C NDE

Experience Description

I don't remember much of the time period surrounding the NDE. I'm not even sure exactly when it happened because I never told anyone about what happened to me since I just walked away, apparently unharmed. I was around 11 years old. I clearly remember the lead-up to the experience and the immediate aftermath, but I can't remember the exact time when the experience occurred.

I was a rather adventurous and daring young boy, always pushing the limits of my physicality. I was with a group of 3 to 4 other like-minded young boys. Someone in our group had heard about a technique for inducing 'fainting' otherwise known as temporary unconsciousness. Apparently, this stunt was learned from children in other nearby schools. Without knowing anything else, we started to try the technique during on recess.

I have a clear memory of those attempts which failed while we were in the school yard. Strangely, I don't remember successful attempt. I only remember the NDE and then coming to from it. We must have headed back into the main school building as class was about to resume after the lunch break. We also must have decided to have one more attempt. I awoke in the lobby of the main building with some people standing around me, including a teacher. My head was lying on someone's shoe. My close friend at the time, told me I'd been unconscious. He told me that he'd checked his watch and I'd been out for 1 minute 40 seconds.

I got up from the floor, with no obvious physical injury. The teacher told me this was very dangerous and could lead to death due to restriction of blood flow to the brain. I laughed it off and headed to class.

I later told my friend that I'd seen something really weird while I was unconscious. It sounded weird to me to say that, so I didn't mention it again.

The NDE was so quick and non-consequential on my normal life, that I didn't really think about it much at the time. But at a deeper level, I think it pushed me off course a degree or two, and probably changed the entire course of my life.

But first, the NDE experience itself.

I was suddenly in this other dimension. There was no experience of going there, nor any memory of where I'd come from. It felt like I was floating in a soft, warm void. It was a dark, faintly-glowing, soft, and shaded space. I can't really describe any particular feature, and nor did I feel like I had a body. I was just there; it was utterly peaceful and comfortable. I felt no physical, mental, or emotional discomfort. It wasn't that I was on an ecstatic high. Rather, there was absolutely nothing at all was wrong or bothersome. I felt totally at one with everything and at peace. Because I had no memory of my earthly life, there was no sense of relief, release or elation. I was in direct experience in this moment. It felt so good to just float there.

I felt emotionally good, but without any corresponding negative emotions. My experience on earth, was that good and bad emotions tended to mix in some proportion. There is a constant tension in this realm, both physically and emotionally. But in that space, there was no tension. When I looked it was direct seeing without eyes because it was effortless and frictionless. There was no movement of eye muscles. The emotional feeling of peace, comfort, and just that this place was utterly right, was also a frictionless, emotional sensation. There directions like up or down, or high and low. I was floating and felt weightless, so I assume there was no gravity.

I still felt like 'me', even though both my own physical form and the environment I was in were utterly different. I didn't have a physical form, but the consciousness which experienced the whole thing was the same one that is now writing this. That consciousness felt then, and still feels now, utterly familiar. It is who I am without question. And it seems also that my memory of that experience might be a different sort of memory to those that are stored in the brain, because otherwise how could I remember the event? My brain was presumably switched off for that period. And that is why, I think, the memory is so clear and so different from any other, because it is stored in a different medium from normal brain-stored memories.

After being in this place for a while, I suddenly felt myself being sucked back into my body. I never saw my body from outside. It was just that I was in that other dimension and then I became aware of the reality of this world by "whooshing" in. It was like I was connecting to the physical body, with all its memories. As I came into it, I suddenly remembered I was in this earthly life. My immediate thought was, "Oh no, not THIS again!" It was a very clear reference to all of this this world, and all the things and relationships in it - including my family. It all seemed so tiresome, so effortful and difficult. It was like being handed a giant chore and thinking 'Now I'll have to work through all these issues again.'

This realization that I was coming back, and thinking "oh no, not this again", is actually the most powerful part of the whole experience. Somehow it is more relatable in this dimension. The problem for me with the other worldly experience is that the other dimension is so perfect, "but you can't have it." I can remember it, but I can't really experience it exactly as it was. Trying to recall and relive the experience can lead to feelings of sadness and loss. But that moment when the whole world reappeared in my consciousness and I remembered that I had had this life I can really relate to now. It drives home more than anything else for me, just how different the other dimension was. I had experienced a reality that truly existed while having nothing at all do with this dimension here.

That feeling of "oh no, not this again" soon dissipated as I was reabsorbed by the greater clamor of this world. I told the teacher I felt fine and just went off to class.

In later years, during periods of high stress or unhappiness, I have had the feeling of waking in the morning and thinking, "oh no, not this issue again." It's in the context of a broader life here on earth that is never surprising to wake up to each day. Sometimes I have had unpleasant dreams, and woken to feel relieved it was only a dream. But when life has been really tough, sometimes it's the other way round, where the dream state is the relief, and waking state the 'nightmare'. However, in none of these cases is there a fundamental difference between the two states. They are just changes in relative circumstances within the context of the same overall dimension.

I have had other altered states. I have also experienced a general anesthetic and there was no sense of visiting any other place. I was just unconscious and then conscious again when I woke up. I've also experienced several trips on psilocybin (magic mushrooms) and they were not anything like the NDE. For me at least, psilocybin trips are not out of body, but are altered body states. I was still very much in this world and this body, but the subjective, conscious of experience of this body/world had morphed into something less familiar. All my psilocybin trips included periods of extreme terror, and I was generally left shaken by them.

I think the NDE shifted my life off the course it otherwise would have taken, but in a subtle way. At a deeper level, it probably made me devalue materiality and traditional ideas of success and life choices. Unfortunately, at age 17, I became partially psychotic and clinically depressed. Although on the surface I got my life together again in my early 20s, at a deeper level I struggled with depression and anxiety to a great extent for many years afterwards.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 9 may 1990

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain 'fainting game' at school Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was unconscious for around 1 minute 40 seconds after intentionally causing fainting through hyperventilation and then restriction of blood flow to the head (a 'fainting game' we'd heard about at school). I later heard that this could be life threatening but I'm not sure in my case how close it came to being so.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I would just say that I had knowledge of multiple dimensions, which is not the case normally her eon earth. in that moment of returning to the body, I was actually aware of the two dimensions, side by side, so to speak, so it's like having a cosmic level of perspective. people talk of the 30,000 foot view, but this was more like a multi-dimensional view.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? probably on the moment of re-entry to the body, when I realized / remembered that I had this life on earth.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was just there, and there was no train of thoughts, so therefore no memories, no anticipation of future events. I was just in the here and now and didn't feel any sense that there was anything else than that.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. as I noted in the description, my 'vision' (i.e. sight) felt like it was nonphysical, and so there was no muscular strain or tension or effort in any way. Sight was perfectly clear, and yet there was nothing really to look at per se.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall any sound in the void space. And when returning into my body, there was a sort of rushing feeling, but I think more visual than auditory.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes it wasn't a specific light source, but more generally the void I was in was like a smoothly shaded sphere - as I was inside a very large globe, and seeing it from the inside, dimly lit. but I can't say for sure it had any solid, physical form.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was unearthly when considered from here, in this life on earth. But there it was the most natural, comforting and 'right' place to be of all. IN a way I'd rather say this place is the equivalent of 'unearthly' - perhaps I should call here 'unheavenly', with the premise being that heaven is the normal, correct place to be!

What emotions did you feel during the experience? This is very hard to describe, because they were not emotions in the normal sense. I feel like emotions here on earth are always up and down, and also highs contain the seeds of their own destruction. Like people can feel high on drugs, but baked into that is the knowledge that it can't last, so there is always a mix of positive and negative in emotions in this world. In that dimension what I know for sure is that I felt nothing negative. it wasn't even that negative things could be brushed aside, there just wasn't any negative feeling, either physically or emotionally, at all, nor even any thought that there could be. There was just a timeless oneness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I was brought up in a generalized Christian environment, however I was not part of any church, and was always skeptical and questioning. I think the general Christian environment rubbed off on me subconsciously so that I probably had some level of belief in Jesus, but not through overt practice.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I believe in divinity, other dimensions that consciousness can exist in, and generalized cosmic intelligence - but not because of the teaching of any institution or other person, but through my own direct observation and experience of life.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience What I experienced seemed familiar, and I think that's where I came from before I was born, and also probably was more in touch with that dimension as a baby and very young child. I have vague recollections of similar types of feelings in other situations, perhaps lying in a crib or at play when I was toddler. I also had an 'imaginary friend' when I was around 6 years old for a short time, and I genuinely felt a presence was there, it was not make-believe. But the NDE was inconsistent with the beliefs I had amassed since young childhood, as taught by parents, school and society at large. Beliefs around Christianity would have all involved mental images formed in this dimension, and so the NDE was nothing like those.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I think at a subconscious level yes there were changes, because how could I reconcile my experience with daily life? But I sort of put it aside and got on with life as if it hadn't happened, so the immediate, explicit impact was not great.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Clearly it existed during my NDE, and then I returned to this difficult, chaotic world. I think it exists, just as I know that this world also exists. But whether one is the 'ultimate', or how the two relate to each other, I do not know.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain implicit in my thought "oh no, not this again" is the feeling that being here is like some sort of task or mission. It's almost like having an incarnation in this dimension is like to the dimension we come from, as being sent off to the battle lines is to living a normal life at home. It's like some unpleasant thing you just have to do. But the NDE gave me no sense of why, or even what exactly one should do with the experience here, other than find a way to live through it.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes During the experience, at the moment when I was re-entering my body and remembering that I even had this life here, it was 100% clear to me that this incarnation here on earth is just one of the possible things our consciousness can do - or places it can visit, if you like - so therefore there is existence outside of this life.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain Just that all of it is difficult. Even things like friends and family are 'arduous' when compared to the feeling in the other dimension. I suppose my takeaway is that nothing here is supposed to make one feel utterly amazing. There is no number of friends, amount of romantic love, money, success etc. that can bring about the kind of feeling that is normal in the other dimension. At the age I had the NDE, I was about the happiest of my entire life so far of 43 years, and yet I thought "oh no, not this again!" as I returned to this world.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life My NDE happened at a young age, and was not in itself a pivotal moment or experience in my life. I have read many accounts of much longer, stronger NDEs and they often seemed to radically change people's lives. I feel my NDE made a very small change at the time, but that change may have compounded over time into a bigger one, over many years and even decades. There is no clear before/after to contrast. The intervening 32 years of life have done far more to affect who I am than just that 1 minute 40 second experience, and yet it remains the most singularly unique experience of my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I think it shifted my sense of normalcy, and put me on a very unconventional life path - and a much more difficult one, I think. Though perhaps it also helped me not kill myself too.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I still can't really describe the other dimension except by the negative: by what it was not like.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The NDE itself (from suddenly being in the dimly lit void, to rushing back into my body and this dimension) is as clear today as it's ever been. It's really a short NDE and I wish I had more to recall, but that's all it is.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? As I've repeated several times already, the "oh no, not this again" thought somehow really hit me hard. I think on reflection, that really the subsequent 32 years of my life since my NDE have been a process of trying to answer the question of what "this" is, and what I am supposed to do with it - with this experience of life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I initially told my best friend Ciaran 'I went to this other place', but I think he just thought I'd hallucinated or dreamt something, and that was that. I didn't tell my parents or anyone else, until many years later, probably in my 30s. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for so many years, so did a lot of self-reflection and going back over my past, looking for clues as to why I was so unhappy. Eventually I came to see the NDE as more and more significant, and looked to it for more clues, and so I began to mention it to people.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I have never doubted the reality of the experience as an experience. The question is always what explained it. initially I didn't think about it, I just let it be an experience and more on. Childhood is full of different experiences, but this one was unrelatable to other people so I just put it away. But later as an adult I would question whether NDEs are hallucinations of the brain etc. But what really drove it home for me as real, was the experience of "oh no, not THIS again". That proves to me conclusively that it is possible for consciousness to exist entirely outside any reference point of this dimension of existence.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? for me the timeline could be laid out with a few more options. Instead of just before/after the NDE, perhaps have some way of capturing a situation like mine, where the NDE happened decades ago, but was buried, resurfacing later in life at a time when I was ready to reconnect with that part of me. I used to be a very busy business executive, but in the last 3 years since leaving that profession and seeking out something truer to my value, I have reconnected much more to my NDE, as well as reading/watching others' accounts of NDEs. I think that there can be huge gaps between the event and the impact on one's life, perhaps especially so when they are experienced as children.