Christina M NDE

Experience Description

Was on a golf course one night, had fallen, banged head, and the people I was with (only met that evening) thought I was dead.

They spent a while (but not a very long time, maybe five or ten minutes) shaking me and trying to wake me up, as I was returning I really felt their panic that I might be dead. I realized they were good people really, doing their best - no bad intentions at all.

Most vivid feeling is looking down on myself - on the ground, with these three people shaking me and feeling real pity for all of them, 'way down there'. It felt like a sick joke that I was being plummeted right back into my body even though I really, really did not want to go back 'down there'.

Felt like no sooner had I thought 'oh poor them' than I was being thrown right back down before I had time to protest!

As I got close to my body - still far-off though I could hear the girl saying, 'You have a little girl, don't you? She said she had a daughter.' Somehow I knew that this was one of the reasons I had to be back, I had heard those words somehow.

I still felt gutted, devastated to be back - and wept - really wept inconsolably for ages - eventually they cheered me up and brought me home, etc.

They wondered why I was so sad, it was a miracle I was alive - they definitely thought I was a goner - I sobbed 'My mum died.' I couldn't make sense really. Mainly I was crying because I thought I'd never get to see heaven, after life - I had become such a lost soul after mum died (in a fire, I found her when sixteen). I resorted to binge drinking, etc., to escape unbearable reality. I just never felt 'good enough'. And in this experience I was utterly, completely loved and in union with everything, there was no separateness. I have never felt like that, not even since.

I wish I could say I became a better person; I did give up drinking but never became a saint. I have had too many paranormal incidents to go into. I have had many, many dreams where I speak to my deceased grandmothers and mother at times (though she's often silent). A few years ago, when depressed, my granny came to me in a dream and told me she had intervened so I could live. Now she was annoyed I wasn't really living fully. I woke up screaming 'But I do want to live,' and I do, mainly. But I also think this earthly plane is very hard at times and full of suffering - just to get through it at times is a minor miracle! I still don't know my life purpose, but know my four children are in there somewhere, and so is my poetry - also came back after the NDE. A blessing really. I am relieved there's something more than this, which I knew anyway but now am sure of.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Accident Other 'FELL, BANGED HEAD - HAD BEEN DRINKING EARLIER BUT NOT DRUNK'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During floating/ascending experience hearing sound/ music/ colors. Started off with sound of a 'helicopter', like very loud chopper, at my ear. Also just before landing again.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Was completely outside this realm like 'Narnia' and the real world (C.S. Lewis).

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Colors and brightness were amazing. First noticed sky was all red - almost like a war zone, and then was up there - no longer on the earth but travelling through amazing colors, sound, everything.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The sound was the first thing I noticed. Like a symphony. But more beautiful, not sad or anything just incredible. All going on at the same time - all the different vibrations of the universe - yet all blended together - wonderful (music is closest thing we have on earth).

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Don't remember passage from being in body, hearing loud noise (like helicopter) then whoosh - was up there in a different sphere. Don't remember going from one to the other and passage back very sudden as well.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Felt in presence of unity, but no individual beings, was a blissful unity.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No Not just one, many - all beautiful, like rainbows but better.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm felt like i was travelling through levels... higher and higher even more beautiful and intricate sound-wise, more and more was being unfolded...

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Felt free, loved, at one, released. Of course, recognition - this is what I really am - felt at peace for first time since mother dying, maybe even before. Indescribable relief and blissful non-pain.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Yes, I learned we only dance on the earth temporarily - and to try and do my best - in my case being a mother is top on my list, and seeing the good in all souls or the eternal soul in everyone.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Had many, many coincidences since. Did 'sense' baby girl in future - which I went on to have.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate NON-PRACTISING CHRISTIAN

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Am more convinced that Jesus really lived, and had a message. Became fascinated with world religions, traditions, spirituality - but always was I suppose.

What is your religion now? Liberal 'ABSOLUTELY SEE SPIRTUALITY AS ESSENTIAL - DIFFERENT TRADITIONS JUST LIKE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Am more convinced that Jesus really lived, and had a message. Became fascinated with world religions, traditions, spirituality - but always was I suppose.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Aware of universal love and interconnectedness. No direct special life purpose for me, other than to stay alive and not be so self-destructive.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Well in general maybe yes, am more considerate and grateful, still have problems with intimacy at times, but do not hate anyone anymore, and forgive everyone, yes I was full of hate and resentful to ex-husband etc. before then.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The sound, so beautiful. Like music, but not music either. All inter-connected like an amazing orchestra. But more than that, going higher and higher upwards, ascending - the enormous color and vibration and fusion of senses, all one.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Really frequent on daily basis, e.g. turn on radio talking about C.S. Lewis, the come across him three times that day. Angel imprint on window of bedroom and kitchen when son was born - even skeptical husband said 'that's extraordinary'. Countless others, part of life now.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the sound - before and during. More sensitive to 'noise' since can't bare blaring music in shops etc.; I have to leave. Yes, feeling loved and part of the whole, which I never felt I really belonged in real life. Yes, realizing we are here for a reason.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Very rarely, people don't know what to say - feel better off not telling them, husband thinks I'm very airy fairy as it is.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real So hard to explain, put it away. But know it happened one hundred percent.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's so different to anything else even dreaming, or being drunk or anything - it was real. I don't have to convince anyone, I know.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just believe, have faith - it doesn't matter if you don't believe me. We are all here to love each other - not just our own loved-ones - every living soul we meet in a day.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Have you any message for the world yourself?