Christopher H NDE

Experience Description

Auto accident - I was thrown from a car and then pinned under the car as it sank in mud.

The horror of trying to breathe but having all air squeezed from my chest while wide-awake haunted me for years and still does to a lesser degree. But amazingly once I blacked out, I remember flying and being so joyful. I was so happy and there were some loving presences there next to me. At the time, I thought it might be Jesus but there was no name and the bright white light was the main feature. This was many years ago but as I write this much comes right back to me. I recall definitely NOT wanting to leave this loving place. I felt so happy and wanted.

This memory was always with me ever since that, there is a very good place awaiting me after I die, but curiously I was very unhappy at coming back. I had a very unhappy childhood and the reality of knowing God loved me was my solace through a difficult childhood. But I was always ready to die, it was like 'Please take me any time I am ready.'

I realized later in life that one of my main life lessons was to want to be here to truly appreciate and wonder at the gift of life. It has taken me a long, long time to really get this. Anyway, this was over forty years ago. I distinctly remember flying and seeing the tops of roofs. It was wonderful. I was jerked back to a room full of people staring at me as I lay on a table and it was then that I felt the pain and realized how banged up I was. I remember being surprised at how serious everyone was and they looked so sad and worried. I was fearless about dying ever since that day. I was a much different child after that. I felt much like an outsider, never being able to explain why I was so sensitive and cared about others' feelings. It was not a gift in that sense, and my child mind didn't understand how to integrate this feeling of knowing God heard everything and was always present. I had an intense inner prayer life and felt out of touch with my peers.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: unknown? Appeared in local newspaper

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Auto accident - I was thrown from car and then pinned under car as it sunk in mud. Other 'cessation of breathing. I was not breathing for at least 15 minutes, probably longer. Not sure of specifics on medical records.' I was playing in the family station wagon pretending to drive. I shifted into neutral and car rolled backwards down large hill. I was thrown from the car door and multiple small trees, then the car sank into mud and I remembered the horror of not being able to inhale as my chest was crushed. Next I was peaceful and flying.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Honestly I don't know. I recall not wanting to go back and that I was so intensely happy and joyful when I was with my guide. So I guess it was while I was in the light and had the experience of flying.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning No specific memory of this.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Brightness. I remember light. Actually, I remember my mom being frantic and running to yell for help. I don't remember them jacking up the car or going to the hospital in ambulance. I was somewhere else.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Again, this may not be a useful case history as it happened so long ago. My details are limited and fragmentary, but it sure changed my life and has had long deep lasting changes in how I see life and my life's purpose.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes It was communicated that I was loved. That I was okay as I was. Everything was going to be okay.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes White light. The being who was with me was also made of light somehow. He was to the side of me, like a protector or guardian. Being Catholic, I assumed he was my guardian angel, but it could have been Jesus.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Flying over houses. For years I desperately wanted to do this again and thought that maybe I had the power to do this because the memory was so real and vivid. Later as I grew up I kind of talked my self out of this and realized it couldn't have happened as it was physically impossible.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, rapture, I even loved myself (I was often very brooding or worried). Everything was joy and happiness. It perfused all.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Not at that time, but since then I have had numerous cases of precognition, of knowing something would happen.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Strict Roman Catholic.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes In the long term they did. Until age twenty-three, I was a devout intense Roman Catholic, but as I saw multiple teachings that didn't agree with what I KNEW to be true from experience (like the all-loving and non-condemning nature of God) I had a major crisis and left the church. I have always been deeply spiritual though and still am. It's like I HAVE TO regularly pray or meditate. Otherwise, I feel empty and shut off. I realize it is only my awareness, God has never left me but like that air which I so desperately needed when pinned under the car, I now need to keep awareness of God and my life purpose in mind.

What is your religion now? Liberal Unity. ACIM. Buddhism. Not official member of any church.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes In the long term they did. Until age twenty-three, I was a devout intense Roman Catholic, but as I saw multiple teachings that didn't agree with what I KNEW to be true from experience (like the all-loving and non-condemning nature of God) I had a major crisis and left the church. I have always been deeply spiritual though and still am. It's like I HAVE TO regularly pray or meditate. Otherwise, I feel empty and shut off. I realize it is only my awareness, God has never left me but like that air which I so desperately needed when pinned under the car, I now need to keep awareness of God and my life purpose in mind.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes My purpose was to love and to live in this knowledge. God had plans for me and I would be shown what to do later. Ever since this I have been unable to even think about doubting the existence of an afterlife or of God. Although I often prayed to be spoken to again in such a clear manner and to feel that joy again.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I know that everyone I love I will meet again and that death is always just a momentary parting. I still frequently feel the presence of deceased grandparents and can communicate in some empathic way. It's like reality has this added dimension that is just part of reality.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I became almost too empathic. I could often feel what others were feeling and sometimes thinking. This was not really a 'good thing' as a child and I tried to hide this and convince myself it was not real. I have since seen accurately many events. I foresaw the unexpected conception of our daughter and accurately saw how she looked and what her name was to be. This I told my wife and wrote in my journal. I also foresaw or knew there would be some larger challenges as that daughter was discovered to have serious disabilities. As an infant, she communicated with me and I 'heard' or 'saw' that she was scared and did not want to incarnate. One of my main life goals is to love her no matter what and to learn how to give unconditional love. It has not been easy.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Absolute certainty of life after death. No need to fear death. Also a strong belief, understanding, that my actual hour of death is set already and not something to be concerned about. There is peace in this. It has taken me many years to get over the longing to be back there, where everything felt so alive, happy, and good. My core life lesson has been to learn the value of this gift of physical incarnation and to life in honest, conscious gratitude for being able be here now, to love my wife, children, everyone I encounter. All these people are in my life on purpose. These acquaintances are not by chance and I am to love and help each of them to the best of my ability.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried to share it as a kid and was laughed at and even taunted as I said I had almost died. I was totally unable to share this with anyone and kept it to myself until later when I shared with my spouse.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real As a child, I lived in the present and frankly I don't know if I could have answered this well back then. I knew it was wonderful where I was or had been and that the reality of it was unquestionable. It was like a secret because mom and dad weren't there and I couldn't convince them how good this experience had been. They saw nothing good from it and must have thought me still nuts or out of it from the accident. I was in the hospital for quite a while.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's remained a core value and part of my world view ever since. It is hard to describe how this event became such a big part of who I am now.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Some deep meditation experiences have come close, where I once again was in the presence of spirit guides and in that loving embrace. I would find myself sitting with tears of joy and gratitude streaming down my face. Another heightened experience occurred during our wedding, where both my wife and I were 'seeing' into people - much like that 360 degree vision, but of their life outer world and their inner thoughts, prayers, emotions. It was stunning, and unexpected. That my wife had had the same experience as we discussed it later was very eerie and inexplicable. I have tried taking Psilocybin to reach back to that seeing-the-face-of-God feeling. It has produced altered worldviews but nothing like the NDE feeling. It was qualitatively very different and more ego folded back upon itself. There is a spiritual dimension to it, but not the loving guide or permeating joy and light. Very different. There are other psychic dimensions and beings I was aware of during a super-dose of psilocybin but not the purposeful, loving presence or all-encompassing white light. Psilocybin seemed to thrust this naked soul out into the universe teeming with infinite life but it was not an ordered experience like NDEs nor was there the perfect safety, peace and joy. Psilocybin showed me the awesome, the fearsome face of God as Kali or infinite dance of all life and death.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My experience was so long ago I don't have as many details. The biggest takeaway for me that resonated with reading the book 'Evidence of Afterlife' was that I was permanently changed after that, and I had no fear of death even as a young child. It has stayed with me ever since and the reality of this spiritual dimension has also never left me.