Claire F Possible NDE

Experience Description

I woke up in the night with severe cramping. As I sat up, I lost consciousness, fell on the floor and had my first seizure. I became aware of my husband shouting my name. Apparently, I was very white with my eyes wide open. Although I felt conscious, I couldn't speak or move my body. My mind was free and I filled the space around me as I became filled with euphoria. I was thinking, 'Wow, this is amazing!' I recall my husband ringing the ambulance and placing the phone beside me on the floor, which I thought was really funny. I recall the paramedics testing my feet for a reflex but there wasn't one.

I could hear them talking about me having a stroke and I thought, 'Interesting. So this is what a stroke is like?!' The seizures were suffocating my physical body. Then I heard one of the paramedics say, 'Claire, tell me what's happening.' So I turned into my head and I could see bright halos of light rising through my brain, which felt like a swimming hat that was being pulled directly off my brain. I realized I could travel around my body and check on how it was functioning and all was good in my body except my brain. At the next seizure I went back into my brain, slowed it down, and then stopped it. Again, I heard the paramedics saying my name and asking, 'What's happening.' So I chose to leave my expanded self and return back into my body, so I could tell them what was happening to me.

Unfortunately, I still couldn't speak. I thought I was telling them about my experience but my husband said I just made senseless noises despite sounding ok to me. In the ambulance, the paramedics kept asking me my name over and over, which was really annoying. I thought I was telling them the information continuously, but then I heard myself talk. I was just blowing air between my lips. At that point, I had a panic attack and needed help breathing. Once at the hospital, I was able to continue stopping the seizures. I had a CT scan that was normal. Yet, I still couldn't walk or talk. I improved slowly and the next day went home. Once home, it was clear that I had a brain injury that affected my reading, ability to do math, and my short-term memory. After 6 months, I improved enough to return to work part-time. Now, a year later, I feel almost normal except I suffer with fatigue, blurred vision, and minor short-term memory loss.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: April 11, 2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident. Direct head injury. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. I woke up in the night with severe cramping. As I sat up, I lost consciousness and had multiple seizures. During which time, I passed in and out of consciousness and was unable to speak or move. The doctors initially thought I'd had a stroke. Afterwards, the doctors were uncertain whether it was a transient ischemic attack, a viral attack to the brain, or a sinus infection.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could see the paramedics running a metal instrument along the bottom of my feet to test for reflexes. Although I could feel it, I remember thinking to myself that wasn't a good sign. No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I knew and was aware of everything.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In between, my husband was calling my name and returning to tell the paramedics what was happening.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I felt like I was part of everything around me and that time was not part of that experience.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My everyday vision was focused on the here and now. During the experience, I was not part of time.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear what everyone was saying and thought it was funny they were talking about me so seriously. I knew I was going to be ok. Even when I found that I was unable to move my body, that didn't matter either.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The space I filled was illuminated, like a joyous light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Elation, euphoria

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I just knew I was of everything around me and everything was one with me.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I felt that I needed to tell the paramedics what was happening.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me

What is your religion now? Do not know

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I am a very practical person with great empathy for animals. I believed that you live and then you die. No more than that. My goal was to make other creatures lives safe and comfortable during life

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I understood I am part of the universe

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain The experience was all about me and me being part of everything around me. I didn't meet anyone else

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt I was receiving a gift.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I understood it doesn't matter what condition our bodies are in to acheive happiness

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain I chose to return, I don't know what the next part of the journey would have been

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I feel unclear of what I should be doing with my life now. I feel unclear of what I should be doing with my life now.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am less judgmental of people.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have never had an experience like it before or since. I can't recreate it in my mind either. Maybe it's like Gulliver's Island, being a giant in Lilliput.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can visualize creative solutions to spoken questions. I could do this before but the solutions are much more vivid now.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I have been shocked, since the event, that when choosing to return, I did so for a group of ambulance staff that I didn't know. I didn't return to be with my children or family which has disturbed me since.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared with hospital staff and the doctor during the days and a couple of weeks after, but they didn't comment. I shared it with an old college friend about 10 months later who said I had received a gift and I was to follow my heart.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I viewed the experience as being as real as any other experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Still real and still baffling

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When I was 5 or 6 years old, I invented mind meld where everyone's mind is joined together and I imagined being watched by non-earthly beings. I spent a lot of time on my own as a child.