Clarice F NDE

Experience Description

Just one impulse and there I am above a strange scene : 5 to 6 people in green overalls, take turns on an aspiration machine that they have connected to a woman's body of about 33 years. They give their best, are worried and their anxious looks inform me about the seriousness of the situation. I wonder, while realizing that it is this young woman that I inhabited for 33 years, why do those people love me so much? I perceive at the same time their mistake; they don't consider my breathing rhythm while cleaning my lungs! I tell myself that I should explain it to them; it will help them for another time. While they continue this rush between life and death, the wrong way against the breathing rhythm, I'm continuing what will be called another day ‘a journey out of my body’ but this I don't know yet.

This mistreated body no longer tempts me, so with another impulse, I'm there in the vastness; horizontal lines seem to open through a 'sliding slit' towards unknown worlds, all coherent, but all very different from each other. It seems that the codes of one of those worlds were of no utility for the following ones. When I enter one of those worlds, I get, automatically, a minimum of comprehension of its rules. By intuition, it seems!

Moreover, the tracks to enter those worlds seem to be very narrow, and it seems to me very easy to get lost by going from one world to the other, at this place in the Universe. It is like an immense oblong onion with successive skins, and each one introducing into a precise and codified world! I think that maybe all possible tendencies of life are represented here, in this kind of immense onion, and at once my intuitive perception of these worlds is possible: as I'm part of every one of these worlds. This thought scares me and introduces a notion of vertigo in my feelings, so strong that by an impulse. I enter a tunnel and at its end, without lingering, I perceive a light of a new and appeasing kind, very appeasing. So, leaving those strange worlds, even dark ones, of which I will talk afterwards, there I am, imbued and enveloped by an immensely kind presence; in the mirror of compassion I realize, that having caused the end of my life by taking pills, was totally abstruse here, there, nonsense, and only that!

At the glimmer of this kind of light, the mirror lets me see my life in flashes. Sometimes I see with details and feel all this emotionality that I couldn't manage. It is a trifle, this passionate love that led us to hell. Trifle, of course, nothing to report on my professional life, my social life, and other appearances. It is amusing trifles all this, just a look touching a well-muddled life, by details considered trivial here and there. It is like the look of a generous grandmother upon a small clumsy infant. No need for excuses, or pardon, all my life in the eyes of this presence and from a high perspective, was only touching and beautiful, perfect after all. Obviously I was there because my life, I had considered it to be unworthy, impossible to continue with it. My mistake was, I did not have the right look at my life: what a pity, just that, what a pity! While I continued to share this ineffable look upon my life, with this brilliant and kind presence, I saw at the same time the beauty of a new spirit that germinated in me: ‘the spirit of the beginner’.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1983

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. CPR given. 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the presence of the light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace and quiet.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Buddhist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definately not real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes