Clayton D Probable NDE

Experience Description

I have been a functional drug addict for years and at the time of my experience had been using a significant amount of both methamphetamines and black tar heroin for almost three years and had a substantial tolerance for both of the drugs. This particular evening, I had not used any more in terms of frequency/quantity than I was using on the daily for the preceding weeks and the quality of the heroin wasn't a factor as I tend to buy large quantities which keeps the consistency and potency balanced and well established in my dosing schedule. About fifteen minutes prior to the last thing I remember before the event I was sitting in my truck in the parking lot of the hotel I was staying at that week and I had smoked a cigarette dipped in PCP. This was my second experience with PCP and my first time to smoke a whole dipped cigarette by myself.

I remember having a difficult time walking to the rear entrance of the hotel. My balance was clumsy and my vision and hearing were going sideways on me. The last thought that I remember having was realizing that getting up to my room was going to be challenging. Suddenly I am not impaired at all and I am in some other place. I was neither sitting or standing from what I remember but I was aware that I was on some kind of solid white platform and the platform was rotating. (Much like a record on a record player). I didn't perceive any walls and couldn't identify a sky or ceiling. Everything was a uniform white. It's a white rotating platform in a white empty plain of existence. I see a creature in the distance though not far away and I have no feelings of fear or joy and I have no curiosity about it either. It was also white and largely resembles the shape of an elephant and I somehow just knew that this creature was ancient and far more superior to me.

I now become aware that I am getting closer to this creature with each rotation. We are looking at each other and we communicate without speaking. As I am very near to him now, I am looking at it and asking please don't make me go back to have to go around again. Without breaking eye contact and using no words as I am passing by him the last time, I perceived it to be almost smiling and it imprints the response, "you're going around again" in my awareness. I perceived no sense of judgement or emotion of any kind and I just know that this ancient elephant has so much wisdom and an existence much greater than I. I don't recall looking down to see if I had a body or anything. I never felt the need to do so.

After I perceive his response, I am opening my eyes and looking up and I am seeing four or five people looking down at me. I am realizing that I am being carried on something and I am inside a building. I am totally confused and I am not able to move. I see lights attached to the ceiling and I am aware of something taking place beneath me but I am not able to see and am not too concerned with anything. I remember asking, 'where am I?' and I remember hearing, 'you are in a hospital'. I have no idea what that means and I repeated asking where was I four or five times before losing awareness again.

I don't know how much time passed during any of this and therefore have no idea how long I was unconscious in both the parking lot/other dimension or in the hospital. Regaining awareness yet again I am very confused and I am not able to stand without completely collapsing from zero balance. I am using words by asking extremely simple questions but I am not able to understand exactly what I was asking or process any of the words that they are exchanging with me. I start to become more aware of my body and feel something rectangular and hard inside a pocket in my pants. Feeling for it and pulling it out to look at it was not able to recognize it as a cell phone and I hadn't a clue what it was. The people trying to talk to me may as well have been speaking gibberish as I couldn't understand anything they were saying. Over the next half hour or so I slowly begin to understand what is going on and slowly being able to understand words and their meanings again. I have absolutely no memory of losing consciousness in the hotel parking lot and no memory of having been placed onto a gurney and being transported in an ambulance to the hospital.

The entire experience with the white dimension and the ancient elephant felt extremely profound and I am not sure what it was or means, if anything at all, but the experience was just as real as I am real in this present and writing the experience now to share with you. I don't view it as a hallucination as I have had both visual and auditory hallucinations before. I went somewhere else and left my body and concern behind and I returned to my body and concern was present immediately upon becoming aware within my body.

This is difficult. Normal consciousness and alertness involves concern or worry if you will. For example, I am aware to the clothes I chose to wear and put effort into making sure I am dressing appropriately for any given situation out of concern of being judged by others. I experienced no worry, concern, curiosity, fear, joy, sadness, et cetera. No emotions I can recall with the exception of my request to the creature not to send me back around again. But what is strange about this is I knew what the response was going to be before the request was made, again this was all nonverbal and very strange exchange of information in a way I have never experienced.

I was extremely intoxicated and my vision was far impaired at the moment I lost consciousness and it was clear as it could be in the white dimension. But regaining awareness in the hospital my vision was still very much impaired.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 07/30/2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose Life threatening event, but not clinical death Paramedics found me unconscious and unresponsive in a parking lot and took me to the hospital.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was very much aware of everything taking place including the experience of not having any concern or worry.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the entire out of body experience

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was unaware and unconcerned about time

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Seconds prior and immediately after my vision was extremely impaired due to the intoxicated overdose but my vision during the entire experience was soberingly clear.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard nothing in that place

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A uniformly white dimension

What emotions did you feel during the experience? None

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I asked not to have to go back and was not given an option

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know I don't have any beliefs but I am open to the possibility of almost anything

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Do not know Still growing spiritually

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin An ancient elephant

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain This place exists and I was there and there certainly is not here.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I have been battling crippling depression for years and I have attempted suicide twice in my life prior to this experience. The first attempt was an intentional heroin overdose the result of which only gave me an opiate migraine which was absolutely the worst headache I have ever had and the second attempt was a hanging in which I hung there until I blacked out and suddenly becoming aware I was on the floor and I thought that someone had me in a headlock and was fighting. This of course was not the case and I realized that when I felt that it was a belt around my neck rather than an arm. In neither one of these two suicide attempts did I experience anything at all other than the fact that I had now failed at this too. I feel like I am not allowed to die for some reason unknown to me. I am presently depressed and just as suicidal as ever but I am also pretty certain that I am not able to do anything about it. To address and answer the question, being sent back to my body and Earth despite my asking not to was quite profound.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The same day. They were curious. Unsure

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real This is difficult. I'm certain that I am typing this response because I am experiencing the action of doing it. I experienced that other place

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have no reason to question that experience. I have analyzed it over and over again and I am able to recall the experience in my memory as clearly as though it was occurring just now. This happened and was real and I am thankful for the glimpse and experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes. I have been told that the creature I described very closely resembles a Hindu demigod, Ganesh. Researching this has brought more questions than answers but I do see a very strong resemblance there as well.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Great job