Colleen M NDE

Experience Description

I became short of breath on June 10th, two days prior to the event with a heart rate of ~144 and oxygen sats around 85%. I was scheduled to have knee surgery on June 15th. I had also just had a cold so attributed most of my symptoms to the cold. I refused to seek medical attention as I thought it would resolve and didn't want to jeopardize my knee surgery that was scheduled for June 15th. In the early hours of June 12th, approximately 5am, I got up to use the bathroom. As I was getting back in bed I had a large cough then I went into sever medical distress. I was lying across my bed, covered in sweat and struggling to breathe. Initially I thought I was having a vagus vagal and thought it would pass. It did not and continued to get worse. When I was getting back into bed I put the pulse ox on my finger, when the event happened my heart rate was 158 and my oxygen sats were 45%. I realized that I was in trouble and new I needed to get help. My phone was on my night stand but I could not move to reach it and would not have been able to open it anyway. My husband was sleeping across the hall in our oldest son's old room. I heard his alarm go off around 6am and new I needed to make every effort to yell and get his attention. My husband is a surgeon. I managed to get his attention and he went into doctor mode. He could barely find a pulse, my feet were cyanotic, my blood pressure was very low. He got my oldest son up from the basement and got a board and was prepared to do CPR. He called 911. While we were waiting for the EMS to arrive I had my NDE.

I was in severe distress and all of a sudden everything went dark and I was moving down a tunnel at the end of the tunnel there was a place of such peace and calm. I felt so loved. I was no longer suffering, all of my pain went away. I was unaware of anything happening externally around me. I was fully aware, even hyper aware of the overwhelming feeling of peace, love and indescribable bliss. I continued to move down the tunnel and recognized that continuing to move meant leaving the physical world and going somewhere else. I completely at peace with moving forward. All of a sudden I heard my name being called and came roaring back to reality and became once again fully aware of my surroundings, of the pain and of the suffering. While I was in the tunnel I lost all concept of time, time was meaningless. I also felt that I must have "passed out" even though I was still fully conscious of what was happening.

I thought my eyes must have been closed and I assumed I looked like I was sleeping. My husband said I my eyes went super wide and my pupils were fully dilated, he said he was yelling at me although I did not hear this until I came back. He said the entire episode lasted 15-20 seconds. During my NDE the blockage in my left artery broke away on its own and went peripheral allowing some profusion. This is what saved my life. The firefighters arrived shortly thereafter and put my on 6L of oxygen, followed by the paramedics who started an IV and gave me some medications. I was rushed to the local emergency (it is the major center for the province) and was immediately placed in the CT scanner. I had a central line placed in my neck and had catheter directed thrombolysis as well as IV heparin. I was taken to the ICU. While in the ICU my arterial line in my left brachial artery perforated and I developed compartment syndrome in my left arm. I was rushed back to the OR for an emergency fasciotomy of my left arm. This was done under conscious sedation. I was essentially awake and aware of everything happening around me, I could hear conversations and I could take, I also felt the incisions, stapling etc...but no pain. I spent 5 days in the ICU followed by a few days on the medical ward before I was discharged home.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: June 12, 2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Massive Saddle Pulmonary Embolism Life threatening event, but not clinical death I had a massive saddle pulmonary embolism. I had complete obstruction of both my left and right arteries. My pulse was barely palpable, my feet were cyanotic, my blood pressure was very low. My heart rate was 158 and my oxygen sats were 45%. My right ventricle was collapsed and my inferior vena cava was dilated. I was sweating profusely and was struggle to breathe.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I saw the tunnel and other indescribable things but they were pleasant and positive. I did not see people or images per say it was more an "aura" I guess. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Everything was heightened. Everything I experienced was very clear, very real and very overwhelming (in a good way)

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I assume you mean my NDE. I was very altered and very aware of everything that was happening in the tunnel but completely unaware of anything that was happening externally around me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Everything seemed to be moving very fast and time lost all meaning.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Immediately prior to the experience I was in severe medical distress. I was in pain, my heart was in failure I had severe central chest pain, I was struggling to breathe, I felt so incredibly awful. When I had my NDE all the pain and suffering went away. I was completely at peace and there was nothing but positive, wonderful feelings.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Prior to the NDE I could hear everything happening around me. During my NDE I could not hear anything happening around me. I would not say my NDE was completely silent but the "sound" was comforting and soothing and impossible to describe. When I was leaving the "place" and coming back to reality I could hear my name being shouted.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I felt that I was moving quickly through a tunnel towards a final destination.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I am uncertain if there was a light at the end of the tunnel or if it was just a "feeling" of pure love at the end of the tunnel. Sense ceased to be separate and seemed to run together.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I was definitely somewhere different and although it was unfamiliar it felt completely familiar and it was not strange but beautiful and peaceful.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt completely at peace, calm, loved, warm, totally at peace with what would happen next. It was the most beautiful feeling.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Everything seemed to make sense. There is nothing to fear.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I am not a spiritual person

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Previously I thought that all NDE were religious in nature. Now I know that is not the case.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I feel like things don't matter as much, I don't get so uptight, I am better able to shrug things off.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt on unity or oneness with the world. Everything seemed to be in peace and harmony and there were no limits or boundaries. Everything just "was".

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I felt that things would not end that if I continued to move forward that I would continue to "live" in this beautiful, peaceful place and that I would continue to feel as wonderful as I did.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Not to fear death as it is really beautiful. I do feel now like we go to a better place when we die and that we do live on.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain Just that where I went there were no difficulties, challenges or hardships.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt an overwhelming sense of love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I am less uptight. I don't let things bother me as much I find it easier to let go and have a more laid back attitude.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I don't let things bother me. I feel that I do have to re-evaluate my marriage.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feeling of absolute calm, peace and love is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. It was so completely amazing. I could have stayed there forever.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember everything about the experience, crystal clear. The memory also is a memory of the feeling of the experience as well as the details. Everything else happening at the time (when not in NDE) was very stressful, painful, chaotic and while a remember I don't remember as accurately or clearly as I do the NDE.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was pretty open with sharing what happened with others shortly after it occurred, once I was out of the hospital and recovering.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Only what I had hear in books, movies or TV. I have never met anyone who has had this happen to them.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I absolutely believe that I in the process of dying and that this is where I was headed and that this is what happens when we died.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was so "big" and it had so much feeling associated with it. I was so completely aware of what was happening in my experience when in reality I should have been unconscious and should not have felt or remembered anything. It was definitely real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have passed out before but during those times everything went blank and I had no awareness and no concept of what had happened. This was definitely very different from passing out.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think the questionnaire is good as it is.