Courtney B Probable NDE

Experience Description

In December 1974, I was 18 months old. I was admitted to the hospital with severe pneumonia and a very high fever. My parents told me that I was listless to the point of being occasionally unresponsive.

I have had a memory of this hospitalization all my life, but it wasn't until age 49 that it occurred to me that the memory was from a vantage point OUTSIDE my body. I am looking at myself from above my body and maybe 15 feet away. I could see my body lying in a crib beneath an oxygen tent. I could see a children's hospital ward at night, dimly lit. There was a light on the wall near my crib and there were other cribs around me. I knew that it was me that I was looking at, but I was neither alarmed or frightened. I felt very peaceful and well. I was very matter of fact about it, sort of like "Oh yes, there I am." A nurse came over and started checking me, and then the memory ends.

My parents were able to validate the accuracy of some of the details. I have no other memory of the hospitalization, although I do have other memories from around the same age. What was quite different about the hospital memory, besides being outside my body, was the clarity of the memory. My other memories from around the same time are much hazier, as though they are in soft focus and of a much more impressionistic nature. The hospital memory, in contrast, is very sharp and clear. It feels more like an adult memory than my other early childhood memories.

I have had some lucid dreams as an adult, and the hospital memory is much more like that in quality than like anything else.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: December 1974

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. Too young to remember, and there is no officially documented death event. However, I was not continuously monitored so I can't exclude the possibility of a brief cessation of breathing, etc.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could hear other noises in the room that resulted from other patients, from a nurse moving around, etc. The normal noises one would hear in a hospital ward late at night. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. The images and sounds were very sharp and clear compared to normal waking consciousness. The colors seemed more intense, the sounds were more acute. I have had a lucid dream as an adult and this experience was much more like that in terms of the clarity of the sensory input.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My level of consciousness/alertness was the same throughout the duration of the experience

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall my vision immediately prior to the experience, but as I have stated, my vision in the memory of the experience is much sharper than what I recall experiencing in my normal daily life, then or now.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall my hearing immediately prior to the experience, but my hearing in the memory of the experience is much sharper than what I recall experiencing in my normal daily life, then or now.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, calm, acceptance. No anxiety, confusion, fear, etc. Very matter of fact.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Again, it's almost impossible to compare from the point of view of an 18 month old.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I would consider myself deeply spiritual but not religious. I believe in God/Source and that souls are not different from God/Source.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As I was only 18 months old, it's hard to answer this question, since I don't have a clear sense of what beliefs I would have had at the time about more existential matters.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain Difficult to compare from 18 months of age to afterward.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Difficult to say. I did have a sense of normalcy in my out of body state that seems to me like it suggested more familiarity with that state of being than that of being inside a human body. That part is hard to articulate. I do think it was part of the sense of peace that I experienced during the experience.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Again, it's hard to say since I have no memory really of what things were like prior to my experience. I will say that as a child, I was very high IQ, was extremely sensitive (both physically and emotionally) and empathic, had many psychic experiences, experienced synesthesia, electronics malfunctioned around me, was very introverted and socially isolated and experienced bullying, felt like I didn't belong and like I had no idea how to fit in. I don't know if I would have been this way without having had that experience or not.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Again, it's almost impossible to compare from the point of view of an 18 month old.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I am unsure if high IQ, psychic abilities, high sensitivity, ability to disturb electronics, etc existed prior to the experience or only after.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I only have shared within the past year. The realization that this experience was from out of my physical body didn't occur until I was 49 and happened in the context of a larger spiritual awakening process related to serious illness.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I doubt it, but can't say for 100% certain that it wouldn't have been mentioned in front of me on TV or something.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I definitely believed it was real, but did not recognize it as significant or different than ordinary memory until age 49.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I definitely believe it was real, and now am very open to the fact that it could have been a NDE-related OBE given the circumstances.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I have had a couple NDE-like spiritually transformative experiences in recent years as the result of serious illness that also included OBE among other features.