Cynthia N Probable NDE

Experience Description

I was at a point in my life where I ended up in drugs. This was very odd for me because I have never had an addictive personality. As soon as I realized I was having a problem, I quit and moved to another state to keep myself away from the source.

I had been awake for 7 nights and 8 days. I was an artist and the benders allowed me to become incredibly artistic. I finally talked myself into going to sleep. It was very dark in the room. Although it was daytime, we had blackout curtains for this very reason.

The next thing I know there are two very large figures hovering around me. They clearly had huge wings. The figures were hazy with no visible apparent features. As soon as they appeared, I felt an ease so powerful, relaxing and calming, that I couldn't even speak. One angel came behind me and wrapped their body and wings around me. I remember thinking that I didn't want to die, but I didn't want them to go either. I have never felt this loved and at peace.

The next thing I know, my husband was at the bottom of the bed shaking my foot. He was repeating my name as though he were deeply worried. I was too tired to stay awake, so I immediately fell back asleep. When I finally awoke, he said that he came in and I was pale as a ghost. My lips were blue and I wasn't breathing for at least the minute. He was checking on me.

I am no longer afraid of death. I am afraid of not having enough time on earth to do everything I want to do, but definitely not afraid of dying.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Approx Nov 2003

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function). I had been up on a 7-day methamphetamine bender.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I'd have to say that I was more alert only because I was experiencing the presence of celestial Beings and had gained clarity on death. Otherwise, I was just as alert as any other regular moment in my life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Through the whole thing.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Exactly how I felt. Like we were just suspended in time and it didn't matter and shouldn't matter. Like time was unimportant.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision, as in actual physical eyesight or my viewpoint on religion then vs. now? Eye vision was the same. As far as how it made me gain faith, it definitely did. But for me, I still have no actual physical proof so it weighs on me.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It felt as though mt hearing was muffled and everything became deafeningly quiet. The only communication was in my mind and it was more feelings than actual words.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Just the angels. But as far as I know, I did not know them. Maybe I did know them and didn't recognize them because their faces weren't clear.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The angels were surrounded in a white fog. I could see them dimly in the pitch-dark somehow.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extra extra calm, peace, love, quiet

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt No longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of No return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I remember saying in my head that I should call out for someone, but I honestly didn't care. It was so peaceful and calm that I was happy to be in either place. I remember thinking that for some reason that I didn't want to go yet.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated. I grew up Pennecostal, tinkered with Buddhism, Baptist, Athiest and a few natural options. I have a very hard time believing religion without hard proof.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I just started believing in angels. They were definitely there but there was no talk of God. So beyond believing in angels, I'm unsure. I know that they were there to calm me and take me somewhere I think. I'm just not sure where or why.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Do not know. I envy those with a strong, solid and unwavering faith. Unfortunately, I just can't believe without solid proof and will not lie to myself or others concerning my lack of faith.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. My thoughts on religion were not faith-based at all and strictly scientific beforehand. I couldn't help but question religion and afterlife after this experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in angels

The experience included: Unearthly Beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. Angels

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes That angels are real and just how peaceful the other side actually is.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain. If calm is what you mean by this question, then yes: Otherwise, No.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes. The two angels came to be and calmed me to a point that wasn't humanly possible.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes The angels and that peaceful, loving feeling.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Just that what we find to be so overly dramatic here on earth can actually be viewed very differently and anything can be resolved by calm, peace and love.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I just felt so much unconditional love from the angel that was calming and comforting me in its wings.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I now want proof and want to believe in God.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I take less for granted. I want my kids to absolutely know how loved they are beyond a shadow of a doubt.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Just the feeling of love, quiet, calm and peace. The angels descriptions of being huge and fog-like with no real features and the way they moved, like they were gliding slowly. It's just hard to explain unrecognized things to other people and words can't even come close to justifying the beauty and feelings behind it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was a profound experience that I will always remember in detail.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I feel as though I can feel when ghosts are near.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing, honestly.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was probably 5 years ago. I thought everyone would think that I was crazy. They were amazed and thankful to have been given a glimmer of hope.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. At the time I absolutely knew that it was real. Later is when my mind started to logically dismiss it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Because it just can't be denied. I was there and felt and saw it all for real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No