Daniel B STE

Experience Description

At the time of this experience, I was in a very depressed period of my life. Following a work related injury, I had already undergone one back surgery and was scheduled for a second. Simultaneously my previous wife had an opportunity to move forward with her life and moved several hundred miles away with the children. I was used to having the kids every weekend but now had to be without them. Under doctors' orders I was not supposed to be making any long distance driving. It seemed that all of the things that I enjoyed the most, had now been taken from me. I struggled for some time to keep from simply screaming or tearing things up just to see if it would help. I had even considered suicide, or just disappearing from everyone that knew me. Maybe move far away where I would find only strangers. More than once I stood at the Canadian border tempted to cross into the wilderness and see how long I could survive. I had plenty of outdoor survival skills. Each time I had these thoughts, I also thought of what it might do to my kids and I was brought back to my senses.

Each day was long and empty, and the nights were even worse. I struggled to sleep much at all. Most of the time I would doze for about 30 to 45 minutes only to start thinking of my children. I apparently had very little control of anything in my life and was afraid to go to sleep, not knowing what else I would wake up to. Hours felt like days and I didn't know when it would end! I often used the television just for company, as I did on this particular night, because it would hide some of my own problems and interrupt most of recurring thoughts. When I turned on the TV for some reason I noted the time, then sat in

my usual position on the couch. Within minutes I began to dream! I dreamed that I was waking up in a hotel room above the bus depot, in Kalispell, Montana. Everything that I saw, or heard, was like experiencing it for the first time. I saw the details of everything and felt the hard work that went into creating it. I heard normal sounds that were like a symphony of balanced music. Most of all, I understood the reason for me being there was to enjoy a reunion with my family. We had all waited too many years for this to happen and agreed to meet in for breakfast before heading into Glacier National Park for the day. Following a wonderful mini-reunion and slowly eating breakfast, we all went outside to the cars to begin our journey. To our fathers' surprise, we had rented a limo for the day and he wouldn't have to drive.

There was so much excitement and laughter inside that car that we barely noticed the drive at all. Some of the obvious landmarks were noted as we went by and soon we saw the sign that we were entering Glacier Park. Now the miles took longer to go by, and I am sure that it was because of our anticipation was simply boiling over. Higher and higher we climbed into the mountains, trying to notice everything and to make sure that the rest of the family saw it too! Up and over the top we went and finally arrived at the visitor center parking lot. To our dismay, we had not come across a landmark that we were all hoping to see, so we asked our driver where this attraction might be. It was down the other side just a few miles and he agreed to take us there. We all jumped back into the limo.

Slowly we left the parking lot and headed east again. At some point in the short drive down the mountain, I began to notice that I wasn't talking anymore or laughing with the family. I could still hear them, but I couldn't respond. In fact, I couldn't do anything other than see them and hear them. A few more minutes went by and the driver pulled into the roadside parking area. We made it to the right place. The family began to leave the vehicle and Mom urged me to come along. I could not react. When the car door beside me was left open, I started to fall from my seat and onto the pavement. Family members tried to stop my fall and to assess what was happening. As the chaos unraveled around me, I began to realize that I was lifting away from my body. I lifted very slowly at first and then it began to speed back up to a normal time. I lifted further and further away, watching my family trying to wake me.

I lifted further and higher, until I could only see clouds below me. Then everything went absolutely black, and I could hear nothing! I don't know how long I waited in this darkness before I started to move my arms around and began to question where I was. Was I between heaven and hell, or was this going to be my hell for all time? It seemed like a very long period of time passed, experiencing no light and no sound. Then in a flash, I was caught up in the rapids of a raging river. I fought to keep my head above water and to try and find a way to shore!

This was the beginning of what turned out to be a nearly 3 day journey for me to find out what was happening. I didn't know where, but I knew that I had a destination that I had to get to. Most of the time I didn't know if I should go to the left, or to the right, but I knew that I had to follow whatever it was that pulled me. During my trek I was challenged in a number of ways and had to succeed with my efforts. There was never anybody else there to help or guide me. Near the end of my journey, I had to finish climbing over a rocky ledge, and to stand in a field of luscious green grass. All of the injuries and scars on my body began to disappear and this is when I realized that I had made it to Heaven. I was still being pulled to go further, so I continued over a gradual climb until I came upon a place with the most beautiful white light coming from it. It was not a door or a gate. I can only describe it as 'The Beginning'. As I started to go through, a voice from behind me said, 'I have a request of you.' I turned to see where the voice had come from. I had to ask, 'Is this God?' 'I am.', came an answer, 'and I have a request of you.' First I was told that I could stay if I wanted to, then I was told that I could return to my body if I chose to complete the request. To help me with my decision, I was allowed no more than 3 steps into the light. With the 4th step my decision will have been made. I took my 3 steps! It was glorious, absolutely wonderful! I wanted to stay, but I wanted to hear the request too. I turned and walked away from the light. 'What is this request that you have for me?'

'I am pleased that you have chosen to learn more!', came the voice. I slowly looked up, and before me stood the form of Jesus Christ, just ten feet away. I dropped to one knee, clasped my hands together and closed my eyes. I began to pray. When I finished my prayer, and Jesus said, 'Rise, and brush the dust from your feet in the grasses where you stand. Then come forward and step upon the rock that supports me.' Once upon the rock, he told me that he would show me the things that he would request of me. I agreed.

The rocks that we stood on began to curl up around us and I realized that these were not merely rocks, they were the hands of God! The hands lifted up and brought us back along the journey that I had taken. Finally, we were at a place where I could see thousands of people below us. Each of them had their own challenges and abilities just like I had to work through. Neither of them could see any of the others and believed that they were alone as I had been. 'What is it that you would have me do?', I asked.

'You will help my sheep.', I heard him say.

'How can I possibly help all of these people?', I cried out.

'Become as they are!'

I accepted the request!

Having completed my journey, I was brought back to my family and into my body once again. The dream ends with me telling my family that I loved them, and then riding away in the back of an ambulance. I quickly opened my eyes and jumped up from the couch in astonishment because it had only been a dream! I looked at the clock and realized that this 3 day journey had taken less than 17 minutes to happen! My entire spirit was so filled with wonderment, I didn't need to sleep for 3 more days. This dream, or vision, or just call it an experience, changed the way that I think about our existence here on this earth. It changed how I feel about time and what happens when we leave our bodies.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 07/1983

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Surgery-related Depression Other Depression

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Everything felt as it should be.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Everything felt very normal. There was no period of additional levels of consciousness or awareness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see everything clearly for miles around me. In my normal vision I can see things, but not with the detail as in the dream.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The biggest difference was that the only words that were audible during the dream, were the words BECOME AS THEY ARE. Other than that words were only perceived.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My Lord and Savior

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The entrance to Heaven, or what I termed The Beginning

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm When I passed into The Beginning. It was vast, never ending place of souls meeting and reuniting with each other. The glorious light was created not by a single source, but by the glow of each soul as they came together.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, uncertainty, relief, love, forgiveness

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I could go no more than 3 steps in to The Beginning.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian Baptized Lutheran - not active church member

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I have had periods of strong belief and periods of non belief. Since this experience I have never had any doubt in the lord.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The words 'Become As They Are' took a long time for me to really understand. When it finally hit me I couldn't believe that it was really very simple!

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try to be more understanding of other people and their difficulties. I try to share in their pain and help them seek comfort.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin When I heard the voice of God say I have a request of you., and I am pleased that you have chosen to learn more! Also when Jesus said, 'You will help my sheep.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No The souls that I encountered are eagerly waiting for another lesson, in another form.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I stood next to Jesus, in the hands of God, and spoke to them both.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes To reach out and help others.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We must always be available to help each other!

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes Our souls return to The Beginning to, as we might say today, download our data. After a necessary respite we get opportunities to come back in another form. Whether it be plant or animal.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I developed a real sense that things don't just happen once-and then they are gone. No, I believe that everything that happens continues to happen in another space and time. It is like a continuous loop.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was shown people from all walks of life and from all time periods. All of us have joy at times and pain at times. Our choice is to decide whether or not to help others.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I was given a task, to Become As They Are. In other words, to find something in common with those who need your help, and then show forgiveness and love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have always been well liked and trusted. However, since the experience I have had perfect strangers approach me and ask if they could just touch my hand, and maybe say a prayer with me. They have told me that they can see a soft glow around me.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The description of The Beginning, the entrance to heaven, has been difficult.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience like it just happened a moment ago. It has been played in my mind many times.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I share this experience with those that I feel are in need. There are those that receive it and ask me questions, and there are tose that want to move on to the next subject.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I began sharing this experience fairly quickly, but first only with very close friends and ministers. I will say that I received mixed reactions from both groups and slowed down on my sharing.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Only a few magazine articles that I had read.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I honestly, to this day, don't know if it was just a dream, if it was a spiritual gift, or if I truly did die for a few moments.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It is all so vivid and I know that if I can share my story with others, it just might help one more person in need!

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My son passed away just a few months ago following a long period fighting pulmonary fibrosis. Before he died I was able to share my vision of Heaven and what to expect when he got there. I believe that it did give some real comfort and he didn't seem quite so afraid.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You've done a good job with your questions, but sometimes the emotions just can't be expressed on paper!