David B STE

Experience Description

I have never had a seizure in my life until a couple weeks ago. I had a less than pleasant childhood. That's not to say it was bad, it was just less than pleasant. I grew up poor. My father was not a very good person. He and my mother raised us kids in a small rural town in Washington state. I was the youngest. I was not a good student in school and had barely graduated from high school. Coming from a lower economic background, and not doing well in school, I didn't have many options when I graduated. I joined the army on the delayed entry program when I was age 17. I was an armor crewman on an M1A1 Abrams tank. I served from 1989-1993. I deployed to operation Desert storm/ desert shield. After my service, I got married, had kids, and eventually got divorced in 2010. I stopped working in January of 2022. I've been struggling with depression anxiety and PTSD for quite a few years. I made a failed attempt at suicide after my divorce. After I stopped working, I became very isolated and estranged from my family and kids, which escalated my depression.

I've been struggling for more than a year with my reason for being here on earth. I have been feeling like I had no purpose. On Wednesday night a couple weeks ago on November 13, I was at my desk at home watching YouTube. I felt pretty good for a change, feeling much better than normal. My mood seemed to be getting better and better. In no time at all, I was feeling almost ecstatic. My breathing changed to almost hyperventilating. I was shaking all over; not like shivering, but trembling. My vision was starting to warp, like I was looking though a fish-eye lens. My breathing was getting shallower and I realized something was wrong. I was in trouble. The trembling in my arms and legs had increased to almost convulsions and I was losing control of my body. I used the very last bit of control I had to yell for help. I put enough force into the yell that I actually hurt my throat a little. I was sitting in my chair and could not stand.

One of my roommates heard me yell and came to check on me. She came around the corner and asked if I was ok. I could not respond. All I could do was shake my head. She asked if I needed help and I tried to nod 'yes'. She dialed 911 and walked over to the kitchen to talk on the phone. She came back and reassured me to hang on that help was on the way. I remember leaning forward in my chair, as I was now in full seizure. I had lost all control over my body. I remember having tunnel vision and my vision periphery was all black.

Then as I started feeling calm, my thoughts started becoming much clearer. I was at peace. I remember thinking, 'Oh, I'm dying.' I was perfectly at peace. It was a peace like I had never felt in my life. I remember feeling like I was expanding. I remember the paramedics coming into my room, but I felt like I was in two places at once. I was still seeing from my eyes, and hearing with my ears, but I could not respond. I remember one of them shining a light in my eyes and asking me questions. I still could not respond. The me that was not in my body was watching this happen. I remember the feeling of my tongue rolling back into my throat, and not being terribly concerned about it. I remember darkness, and then seeing all of the light from all of the stars in the universe, all at once. I remember a wave of understanding and the sensation of the most exquisite joy imaginable. I remember that I understood EVERYTHING. I remember rejoicing in that knowledge and feeling joy, Happiness, and warmth.

I remember the paramedics carrying me outside to the gurney and having to push my legs flat. I remember the rumble and motion of the ambulance, and that the medic kept shining a light in my eyes. I felt a pain in my arm where they started hitting me with powerful drugs. That's where my memory stops.

At the hospital my memory is sporadic. They did a CT scan and an MRI, and found nothing wrong with me physically. I remember feeling very weak in the hospital. So weak that I could not even cover myself with the gown. After I started recovering, I spoke with a psychiatrist, and related my story. He said I had a pseudo-seizure. Also known as PNES. I told him how I remembered the sensation of all of the connective points between my brain and my spirit separating. It was a very unique sensation. One of the things I learned is the brain is just a complex connective conduit between the physical and the non-physical. That I'm just the driver behind the controls of this particular meat-puppet. I had three seizures in total. The first one in my room at home, one in the ambulance that I don't remember, and one directly after my MRI scan in the hospital.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Nov 13 2024

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I suffered what the doctors called Psychogenic non-epileptic seizure (PNES)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I remember hearing and seeing through my body, but at the same time I was apart from it. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was fully aware of everything that was happening to me, and what was happening to my body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the wave of understanding

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. Time seemed to speed up and slow down at the same time, as if it really had no meaning.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I would say that during my experience I had, for lack of a better word, omni-vision. I could see through my eyes, but also all around me from the ceiling of the room.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have tinnitus, so I'm constantly hearing a ringing in my ears. I heard quiet for the first time in a very long time.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw all the light from all of the stars in the universe, all at the same time; up close, as if they were only inches from my face.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Absolute perfect joy. I felt no fear at all. Everything was calm and peaceful. Death is a very pleasant experience, and should not be feared, but looked forward to. When this body dies, we get to finally go home.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understood EVERYTHING.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was raised Mormon, but left the church a couple decades ago. I always maintained that I believed in God, but I never really believed in going to church.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes My spiritual beliefs have dramatically altered.

What is your religion now? Do not know. I feel that I no longer have faith or belief. I traded my faith and belief for knowledge. I now KNOW.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Before I was uncertain about religion and God. Now I have a knowledge of God and his infinite love for us.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I place a great value on the connections I have with people. I have begun to reach out to old friends, and family. I have begun the process of connection with people that I have wronged in this existence.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Only that we are eternal

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes During my wave of understanding, we are all connected. Not just here, but everywhere, this world and the other.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I now know that God is real. I cannot describe how.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew and understood EVERYTHING

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We're here to gain experience. Things that we cannot do outside of this place. I felt things that we cannot feel outside of this place.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I became aware that we are eternal. This existence here is only temporary.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I was able to see what I really look like. I have an exceptionally bright white center, with streaks of brilliant blue emanating outwards. Not from any physical form like flesh, but a pure, bright white-light at the center like a star.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt real Godly love. the most powerful love a being can experience.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I'm now much more aware of those around me and how I affect those I interact with. I'm also very happy.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have compassion and empathy for all of my fellow travelers.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words cannot express the feeling of joy that I felt. Nor can words express the depth of knowledge and understanding that I experienced.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I cannot give it words.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain It's only been a couple weeks. If so, great. If not, great.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of being really loved. loved with an abiding unconditional love.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I started talking about it as soon as I regained consciousness in the hospital. I cannot deny or hide what I witnessed.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of it in passing long ago. It had no impact on what I saw, and experienced.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It took about a week for it to really sink in. I was so profound that I couldn't fully process it right away.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know what I saw. I know what happened. I cannot deny it. To deny what I experienced would be an affront to God himself. It is unthinkable. To even question it is offensive.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I feel like I have been gifted with an exceptionally powerful piece of knowledge. I remember seeing what I truly look like as I was leaving the front of my head.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I wish I had the vocabulary to give justice to what happened to me.

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