Debra P Probable NDE

Experience Description

At age 32, I had the diagnosis of Systemic Lupus Erythamatosis. In the three years that followed, I was also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Rynauds Syndrom, degenerative cervical and spine, as well as Osteo Arthritis. I had Asthma and, suffered from migraine headaches. Eventually, I could hardly swallow food and I started having seizures. I was then diagnosed with Atherosclerosis in my heart, for which nothing could be done. I was literally dying to be loved. At 36 years of marriage, I threw my abuser out and what began as starving and harassment, became starvation and torture. I was rescued by a friend after eight months. I moved two hours away and stayed with this friend while trying to get healthier. Almost three months went by and her husband came home to find me in such pain he recommended the hospital.

It was discovered that I had a torn intestine, believed to be from the many pain medications that I took. Despite my do-not-resuscitate order, I had the life saving surgery.

I was not in my body as they rolled me into surgery. I actually stood next to the surgeon and the emergency room doctor as they spoke. I stood next to the surgeon as he performed the surgery. The next thing I knew, I found myself in a waiting room. It was not gray, white or blue, but a mixture of those colors. I knew I wasn't alone, but I felt rather than saw anyone. I felt the words, 'go back.' I said 'No' because I finally felt like I was out of my hell on earth. Then I felt a shove. Irritated, I found myself at the ceiling of the intensive care unit room (ICU) I was in. I was looking down on my body, fully aware that I was an orb. I saw myself in the bed with monitors, tubes, and a nurse working over me. That's when I felt an overwhelming feeling of curiosity. The next thing I knew, I felt a whoosh and found myself gliding under the bed coming up through my chest while gasping for air.

I opened my eyes and knew immediately that I was different. I felt like I had arrived in my own life for the first time in 58 years. I was in the ICU for four days and in the general ward for four more days. I was released from the hospital. Ten days later, I went back to my home, and saw my doctor to get off the medications completely.

On the 18th of May, I was admitted to a hospital in that area. After many tests, I had sepsis with eleven abscesses in my stomach. Nobody would perform the life-saving surgery on another surgeon's work. I went back to the surgeon. This time it took two surgeons and 3-1/2 hours to clean me out. My body didn't make blood because because I was malnourished. I became worse.

I had been dreaming of my son who passed in 2000 and awoke to him next to me in the bed. I knew I was dying because I could not feel any of my body and I knew I was in my chest. The room was a beautiful golden color, which is the only way I can describe it. My rescue friend came in for a visit, but I told her I couldn't play because I was about to pass. When she heard that, she dropped her belongings and placing her hands on me began to chant a prayer in Sanskrit. I lost time, but when it was over, the color of the room had changed to morning light. Within two hours, I was completely back in my body demanding to be released to the next place.

When my ordeal began, I weighed 116 pounds. Upon my release I weight 84 pounds. Not only did I feel different, I looked different. I no longer have all of the diseases I had when I was admitted. The only problem I have now is Rheumatoid arthritis. I was completely without attachment to anything. I had no interest in anything I used to care about like money, possessions or people. I understood that we are all timeless and in a sense, ageless. Two months after my release, I went back to school in an effort to write about what happened to me and my realizations from it. My first realization was that I had a message and that message is, violence and passion have nothing to do with love, they are both suffering. My next message is, gratitude is the most important emotion of all and if gratitude was our motivation in life, we would all live in abundance. Third, when bad things happen to us, it actually happens for us and this is very important. There is nothing to fear from death, fear itself is the monster. I also have an understanding that I am being taken care of and that the most important love is that which we give ourselves. We are all connected. Judging people to make them less or ourselves more, is very wrong. I smile almost all of the time now. People ask me for hugs, they often stop and tell me their problems and then are embarrassed because they don't know why, but I do. We are all timeless beings of light, but only a few of us know how to glow.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 4/18/16

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Life threatening event, but not clinical death. My large intestine tore and I required emergency surgery to save my life, this is when my first experience happened and I was out of my body. I then developed 11 abscesses in my belly and required a second surgery. I did not have the same experience the second time. It was different because I understood what was happening to me. It wasn't sudden like the first time. Neither was it a clinical death.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was completely focused on me in the bed and the intense curiosity I felt. Normal consciousness usually involves me thinking several things at once.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I found myself looking down on my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time had no meaning as we know it. It was like it all happened at the same time, but I saw it as events occurring one after another.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the experience, my vision felt slightly out of focus. Everything was based more on feeling.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Although I heard conversation and knew it was about me, I didn't care about the words. It was the feelings that mattered.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes In surgery, everything was greenish-gray. In the waiting room, the color was gray, blue and white, like a cloud. During my second passing in the room, everything was a beautiful golden hue. I am an artist and cannot reproduce any of the colors.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. I found myself in what I can only describe as a waiting room.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt cComplete detachment at what was happening to me and to the outcome of it.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I knew I came back different. We are all connected to each other and to nature. I feel wiser than my years and seem to have answers or know people's problems even though they are not my own.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I've practiced Taoism, but believe I am a spiritualist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I used to be a huge meditator. Now I only meditate when the answers don't come immediately. It's like I used to be the seeker, but now I know.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths spiritualist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I believed in the afterlife in faith and then had it confirmed. What wasn't consistent was the fact that as humans we put too much emphasis on what we attain materially and judge others by what they do not have. It's what our souls have that is the most important thing, not the latest gadgets.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I no longer care about possessions, wealth, work, striving, chit-chatting with friends. I do not like TV and if I could, I would probably open a retreat center for people that have had NDEs.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I did not 'see' anyone as you could see me. It was all happening as feelings, even the voice that told me to return.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I was aware that I had gone through this detachment before. I had no fear and knew I would go on to the next step.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I knew everyone in that room was part of my experience, through their experience of it. I felt connected to everything and everyone. I also understood that we are all taken care of by something we cannot see, but perhaps feel. It doesn't matter if you are the surgeon or the janitor, we are all equal and undeserving of being judged.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain. I knew I was not alone and was aware I had never been alone.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I understood that we are all here to take care of each other and if we practiced gratitude, we would all be living in abundance.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. I was in awareness that I am a timeless being. Although my body was undergoing a trauma, I had no connection to that body. I was waiting to move on to what was next, almost like I had done it before.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain. I am convinced that everyone charging for the 'answers' to life's purpose is wrong. When knowledge is given freely it is worthy knowledge. The people that charge for their answers have completely missed the point. We receive only when we give.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Our belief that we are the only suffering in the world is incorrect. When one suffers, we all suffer. We do many things to people that cause suffering. Judging each other creates separation and suffering. We are here to extend ourselves and raise awareness that everyone had value no matter what.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Gratitude is the seed of love. Gratitude holds no expectation or disappointment like love does. The best love we can give, is love to ourselves and gratitude for everything is what love should be based on, it is free.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I was considered to be a healer before my experience. I also knew I was empathic and somewhat intuitive. After my experience, I can send healing thoughts and they are effective. My empathic skills have grown to the point that I have such a need to be alone, being around people is painful.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I now limit myself to the people that I cannot help due to their refusal to accept they are in control and can choose. I have helped people just to discover they want to be taken care of. The person I used to be took care of everyone but myself, now I am my first priority and am forced to see where I am limited in my ability and desire to listen to complainers who only want to complain and not change things for the better.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress before and after the experience which caused some of my memories to be buried, but the experience itself is the most memorable thing I have ever gone through.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had certain gifts, but since the experience they have magnified tenfold.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My understanding that we are all connected and need to help each other in the human condition. Gratitude is the cornerstone of love. I wondered why did I get shoved back into this existence.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I began sharing right away to anyone who would listen. Most reactions were skeptical, then they accepted openly. One thing I find weird is the answers to life's problems come to me when I talk to someone about their problems. Yet, for myself, I have to meditate a lot to receive answers for mine.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard this happens to people, but never expected to experience it for myself. It did not affect my experience in anyway.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I have never been surer of anything in my life that it not only happened to me, but I now have the desire to connect with others who have had it. I believe that they are now my soul group.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It has been the most profound thing that ever happened to me except for childbirth. As I live with the differences in me. I try to pass along any comfort and reassurance I can to those who are ill and suffering. I know if I was healed, so can many others. I have such a desire to spread my message that we are in control of what happens to us.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am so grateful that this happened to me, no matter what brought it on. It is a huge gift.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think the questionnaire is very well put together so I don't know how it could be better. If there was one thing I could change, it would be how the page moves. I had some difficulty with it, but then I'm not a computer person.