Denise M NDE

Experience Description

In December 1999, I underwent a surgery for Scoliosis. When given the anesthesia, my brain was still awake, but the rest of my body was paralyzed. I could hear the surgeon and nurses talking asking if everyone was ready to start the surgery and I tried to raise my arm to tell them I was still awake, but couldn't move. I then started to feel them cutting me open and realized they couldn't tell I wasn't completely under and I panicked.

All of a sudden my heart started beating at a very fast pace and the next thing I heard overhead was 'code blue, code blue' with a strange alarm going off.

I had the sensation that I was floating down a path or tunnel, I wasn't in body form anymore, and saw a very bright light, like fluorescent. I knew I was dead, but yet I could still think because I thought to myself, 'So, this is what it's like to be dead.' It wasn't a bad thing. I had an immense feeling of love and warmth - like being engulfed in a secure, warm blanket. It was the most intense feeling I have ever felt. I didn't see anyone as others have described, but I felt like I had been down this path before and it was familiar and I didn't want to leave it.

The next thing I remember was waking up in the intensive care unit and I was blown up like a balloon. My hands, face, arms, everything were all swollen. I never had that happen under any other surgery I've had in the past. Afterwards, my short-term memory was not right for a long time and upon waking from a sleep, I would have an anxiety attack - I would be in the middle of one when I woke up, as if I had been 'jolted' back awake. This went on for many years. I attribute it to being jolted with paddles to bring me back to life, but the surgeon never confirmed it. When I asked him if I died, he would not give me a straight answer, but did tell me that they realized I was awake because I 'jerked' the operating table. He danced around the subject and wouldn't see me as a patient anymore. There were other complications with that surgery too which I have had to be on morphine ever since as a result for pain.

I KNOW I died, based on the experience I had and if this is what death is like, it's not scary - it was quite the opposite. The intense feeling of love and warmth that I felt was indescribable and made me realize that death is not to be feared and I do believe there is something after death. You might not be in your physical form anymore, but you do go on to another form of matter based on what happened to me. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe the feeling I had was from a higher being's presence, letting me know everything was going to be alright.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Other 'In December 1999, I underwent a #4 surgery for Scoliosis. When given the anesthesia, my brain was still awake, but the rest of my body was paralyzed.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was floating down the path or tunnel.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was floating down the path or tunnel.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no sense of time, just being there.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. More vivid.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember hearing anything after I started having the floating sensation - it was more of a visual and emotional type feeling.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Felt like a path or tunnel of some sort.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Light was very bright, like fluorescent and was very big and close and then got further and further away, like I was going away from it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The tunnel or path I believe was a different level of some sort. Not sure what.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Immense love, security and warmth.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal None

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew I was dead, but I could still think.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No I do get emotional sometimes when I talk about it to people, but it's not something hard to communicate.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No Following no, but before yes. I have had several premonitions that have come true - mainly concerning loved ones, or myself.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of immense love and security and warmth - it was incredible.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Right away. I still tell people if we get onto the subject. Most reactions are of fascination and interest. Everyone wants to know if there's life after death and if we go on.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Still to this day I feel it is definitely real what I experienced.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real As above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes, people should not fear death as I stated above and that I truly believe we go on in another form - more of being matter, not in the physical body anymore.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Maybe ask questions if you are prone to premonitions, or have had experiences with the supernatural/paranormal. Depending on how 'open minded' people are, is your mind more open to accept and experience something like this if it DID happen to you. People who are skeptics or don't believe in things that they actually can't SEE, would they have the same experience or beliefs as opposed to people who have had other 'worldly', unexplained experiences - that would be interesting to see. In other words, would 'closed minded' people feel the same way as someone who is open to accept that anything is possible, if that makes sense.