Donna J NDE

Experience Description

In May of 1987, I was a 17-year-old girl with braces and a week until senior prom.

It was late afternoon on a beautiful sunny day. I had left school that day and gone directly to the orthodontist's office a couple miles from my high school. I could NOT WAIT to get those braces off! I was an average 17-year-old girl with not much else on her mind other than prom. I was driving an early 80's Toyota corolla hatchback and travelling on a fairly busy two-lane road with one lane going in each direction. I approached the intersection to make a left turn. The light was green and there was oncoming traffic so I pulled about midway into the intersection while waiting for opposing traffic to clear before executing my left turn. I waited and waited. The light changed yellow. I saw a lady, driving a 1979 Ford station wagon, advancing towards the intersection. I began my left turn. The car that I thought was slowing down kept barreling forward. I was midway into my turn and being the inexperienced driver that I was, I did what most inexperienced drivers would do. I pulled hard right on the steering wheel to try and avoid impact. I was not fast enough. The driver's side of her front end collided with the driver's side of my front end. We collided head-on.

My car didn't stand a chance against that beast of a car. From the police report, I learned that my car had been thrown into the air and approximately 20 feet backwards and coming to rest sideways in my lane of travel.

The next thing I know is that I am now above the road and to the right near the passenger side of my car and looking down on the accident. Cars were stopped, as there was really nowhere for them to go. A man whose face and description I do not remember, pulled my door open. He said 'Put her seat belt on before the cops get here.'

I don't know why he said that because in 1987 there were no seat belt laws; at least not where I lived. The emergency medical technician told me today that this action could have had adverse effects on the care I received on scene and at the hospital. This is because they are trained to look for different types of injuries in restrained occupants versus non-restrained occupants. The bystander was only trying to be helpful, I'm sure.

The police officer arrived and approached my driver door. He said, 'Thank God she was wearing a seat belt!' The the fire truck and the emergency medical persons arrived. Rescue crews stated that my knees were wedged in the dash and they would have to break it to get me out. I'm witnessing my own extrication from my own front row seat above all this. I watched as they put me on the stretcher. I watched in dismay as they were cutting my favorite pair of pants. MY FAVORITE PAIR OF PANTS!!! Reports indicate that I was unconscious throughout all of this. Not sure if the unconscious person can relate things that happened while in the state of unconsciousness. I watched the stretcher being rolled to the ambulance and loaded in. I saw the doors close. Then, I'm back in my body

I was awake and asking how my car is because I was afraid my dad was going to kill me. I was also still mad that they cut my favorite pair of pants. I thought, 'What just happened?! Doesn't matter right now. I'm back!' Yet, in those moments, I wasn't sure what had just happened or if it really did happen. But, I know something happened.

It would take me years to fully realize it. The strangest part of all this for me now is the complete and total lack of emotion on my part. I was watching this as though it was happening to someone I didn't know. I was not afraid. I wasn't happy or sad. I felt no remorse for the life that seemed to be ending too soon. I wasn't upset at how sad my family would be, in fact, I hadn't even thought about my family. I had no regrets about not growing up to get married and have children. I didn't wonder what path my life would have taken or what career I would have chosen. I saw no 'light.' I saw no deceased family members welcoming me into the next realm. I felt no sense of peace or calm. It was quite literally NOTHING! I wasn't aware if it was my body hovering above that scene and it didn't occur to me to even think about if I had a body in that moment. I wasn't aware of limbs moving or eyes seeing and blinking or if air was passing in and out of my lungs. I wasn't aware of masses crowding the scene and chattering. I didn't hear birds chirping, the wind blowing, or any smells. It's like I was there but not there. NOTHING! y

The only actual sounds I heard were the voices of those who were directly involved in my care on that scene. In the years since the accident, I think of the 'what if's' and I'm grateful that I lived. I love my life. I love my family; my wonderful children and grandson. I love all the memories I've created over the years and all the friends I've made. When I think of all the things I would not have had and done and all the experiences I would not have had, I'm brought to tears. I didn't want to die. I can't explain why I had such a feeling of nothingness. I was not raised with religion. I didn't, nor do I now, know if god existed. It just wasn't something I thought about. I hadn't learned of near-death experiences until years later. When I first learned of NDEs, I immediately thought of that day. Also notable is the fact that I didn't tell anyone of this for years. I thought people would think I was crazy. The first person I dold was my mom. She sat there quiet, processing what I shared with her. She said she believed me. I feel she does. Others I've told get wild-eyed expressions and ask questions about the afterlife and others think it is nonsense. I feel bad when I tell them that I have no answers. I didn't experience an afterlife, only nothing.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: May 1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Direct head injury. My head was slammed against the steering wheel of my automobile rendering me unconscious. Reports do not indicate resuscitation efforts.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. It was normal yet without emotion.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm unsure. I feel I was conscious and alert for the entirety; yet technically speaking, I wasn't.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision itself was as usual. The only difference was that it was like tunnel vision. I focused only on my body and what was taking place with it. I did not see anything at all as to the surroundings.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear normal. It was what I didn't hear that is different. I heard very clearly the voices of those directly related to my care but heard nothing of bystanders on the scene.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The only 'beings' I was aware of were of the people working to help me from the car.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Absolutely NONE!

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated. I was baptized Catholic at birth. However, we had no form of religion in our household growing up. My father is a catholic and my mother is a southern Baptist. They could not agree on what to raise us under so their compromise was no religion at all.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Wicca

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I didn't really have any beliefs at the time. I knew of god and satan; of heaven and hell from what I heard from others and on television. I was once given a children's bible from my Pentecostal maternal grandmother. I never got past the first page. It was too dull.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I can remember every detail of this event; every word that was spoken and every action taken. Yet, I have little recollection of my senior prom that was just days after this. I remember my dress, flowers, my date, and the couple we went with. I remember the limo we drove in. But I have a vague recollection of the prom itself. We had pictures taken, of course, but I don't recall it other than looking at the pictures. I honestly don't remember if I even enjoyed myself.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain. I have the kind of dreams that many people have; that feeling of deja vu. I don't recall having that before as a child. I am usually filled with a sense of dread, unsure where it's coming from or what it means. This happens usually right before something bad happens.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not sure exactly how long after but it was several years after. I have mixed reactions. I felt bewilderment, inquisitive, and disbelief. I felt the kind of reactions one would expect to have.

Did you have any knowledge of near-death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. At the age of 17 and not in an internet-filled world, I didn't know about near death experiences. I lived a somewhat sheltered life. I had no explanation of what happened and didn't really even know who to turn to for answers.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I'm older and, as they say, wiser. I've learned about these things. I know I'm not the only one. I believe that everyone who has experienced this can't be a loon. Therefore, I feel that what I experienced really did happen.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No