Elaine C NDE

Experience Description

It was Wednesday morning and I was on my way to work. I hadn't eaten that morning because I was running late. At the time, I was 21 weeks pregnant. A couple miles from home, the gestational diabetes kicked in and a drop in my blood sugar level caused me to pass out behind the wheel of the car. I was going at least 55 mph, when I crashed head first, into a flatbed delivery truck. I remember at one point, I came to slightly in the car. I noticed how my body was positioned in the car. I thought to myself, 'It feels like I'm lying down in the back seat, with my legs draped over the front seat. I must be taking a nap on lunch. I really hope I set an alarm. I don't even remember making it to work,' and then everything went dark.

That was the first time I flat-lined. I have another memory of being loaded into the ambulance. I do remember repeatedly screaming, 'I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!' I was hysterical. It went dark and I flat-lined again.

I woke up in the hospital, and they told me I had been in a car accident. They asked if I knew my name. I told them, 'Elaine.' When they asked for a number to contact my family, I could only remember the number for the baby's father, but he was in another state. They called him, and he eventually got in touch with my family.

I was in and out of consciousness as I underwent 16 hours in several surgeries. I had severe internal injuries, including a ruptured uterus that necessitated a hysterectomy. My baby girl died from the impact. My kneecap was shattered, the hip and femur bones were broken. My ankle and pelvis were also broken. I was cut, swollen, and my lungs were filling with blood. It's a complete miracle that I'm alive now.

The third time I died is the one I remember best, though all of the experiences were the same. I woke up, and found myself on a ventilator. My lungs had collapsed during a surgery. When they removed the breathing tube, my lungs refused to work on their own again. I kept trying to take in air, but I couldn't. The world started going black. I remember thinking to myself, 'This is what it feels like to die.'

When I died, I found myself surrounded by nothing but black. I couldn't see or hear anything. I had no knowledge of my death, or even any thoughts about existence at all. It was like being asleep, only there was an absolute consciousness such that I was aware of myself. I was aware of everything around me in all of the darkness. But I felt like a part of it; like my entire being was only a single atom and I was connected to all the atoms of around me. I felt nothing but serenity. I was part of all that surrounded me, and I was content with that.

When they shocked me back to life, I woke up to teary family members and relieved doctors. Over the next days, I remained fatigued and underwent more surgery. I was in the hospital for three weeks, and I have not forgotten that experience. It is a couple weeks from the first anniversary not only the day I died, but the day my daughter died as well.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 08/15/2018

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Pregnancy/ Hysterectomy Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Car accident

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was not aware of things I am now, such as time, life or death. Rather, I felt more outwardly connected, and more at peace.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I died three times in my experience, and I was most alert during the third time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time was of no consequence; it lost all meaning. I had no concept of it.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no eyes; I could not see. The simplest way to put it is that I was energy.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not hear anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt serenity. I felt peace, and belonging. I was connected to everything.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I understood peace. I didn't have any revelations, but I existed and was okay with that.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was Christian, and believed wholly in God, though did not attend church, or pray regularly. Raised in the church, all denominations.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer believe in God, or the bible.

What is your religion now? Do not know After my experience, I believe in existence after death, not necessarily life. More of a 'oneness' with the universe.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience .I was raised to believe, and held faith, in the existence of God, Jesus, heaven, and hell. But I experienced none of that. I have since been told by a couple Christians that what I experienced was hell, or purgatory. But it was such a pleasant, and peaceful experience. I could have stayed that way forever.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I no longer believe in God, but I do believe that we exist in another form after death.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt like a single atom, a single point of energy, surrounded by other energy. We were all connected, we were all infinite. I felt like I belonged. I felt at peace.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I did not see a tunnel, light, angels, or anything else. My experience was simply that of belonging and connection.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain I experienced existence after death, but not necessarily life. I was purely energy.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I have had a hard time fitting back in, though I always stood apart from your every man. Mostly, I just feel like I operate on a different level than most people. Most things seem really trivial.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Mostly, I have a no-nonsense attitude now. Life is too short to hold anything back, so I've lost some of my filter I held before. My relationships with extremely religious people are more strained because I don't believe in what they do, but they try to renew my faith in the Christian god anyway. It's also hard to look at my little brothers and sisters and tell them that death is nothingness, but it's good. It's hard to communicate it in a way that sounds hopeful.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The best way I can describe it is simply, serenity. In science, since matter can neither be created nor destroyed, it stands to reason that everything we are comprised of has existed since the beginning of the universe. As well as the fact that everything is comprised of atoms, even the air or the space around us. In different religions, namely focuses on reincarnation, and pagan beliefs that there is life in all things, there is a focus on the soul being recycled. For me, it was like I was a single atom, I was energy, returned somewhere to the indefinite space darkness of the cosmos, and I was a part of the universe, content to be back where I belonged. It was a sense of connectedness and peace.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Most of the experiences I had at the time of the accident are clouded and foggy. I remember perfectly what led up to and occurred during this particular experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It's sad to me that I didn't see Heaven or dead loved ones in all honesty. I would have loved to have gotten the chance to meet my daughter, and I often wonder if she feels as at peace as I did.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I think it was a couple months after the accident that I first shared what dying felt like. Some people seemed shocked, and couldn't wrap their heads around the idea, telling me that God is the reason I'm here so it couldn't possibly be what life is really like after death. Some people agree, and think that's exactly what they thought, taking comfort in my pleasant experience with it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Only what I've seen in tv shows, or heard about in church. They always involved some crazy ethereal being, but my experience was nothing like that.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real It felt to real to me, but I was sure it couldn't be. I didn't know I died at first, though. The doctors didn't tell me until a couple weeks later, and then I accepted it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real to me, if nothing else. Regardless, I'm content to go back to that one day. I feel uneasy every single day of my life. I consider the serenity something to look forward to.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? As pleasant as it was, and as content as I am with my beliefs about life after death, part of me still hopes I'm wrong so I may see my daughter again one day.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Keep doing what you're doing.