Elaine S NDE

Experience Description

1948 – I was so sick. Tossed and turned most of the time in pain and suffering. I didn't feel good and then I was too tired to move. It was the middle of the night. My parents were sleeping in the room beyond my wall, on my right side. My sister, Claire, was sleeping in her twin bed, across the medium sized room, in a turn of the century old house with a coal-heated furnace that went out during the night. Under the covers, I was hot, delirious.

The room was dark. I could not make out the furniture nor see out the window. It seemed like pitch darkness that winter. Then in the upper corner of my vision I saw a pin prick of light as I raised my head. I sat up and watched the light grow in size. I noticed that I didn't feel sick, felt nothing of my body. As the light filled most of the room in front of me, I looked over to my left and could see my sister, Claire, sleeping peacefully in her bed.

Now this light that started as a pinprick grew and grew AND it had a figure in the middle of it. The light FELT like the best, greatest LOVE - more than I ever had felt in my life. The light was white - a soft, unworldly white. No white on earth. LOVE. The presence in the light wore a robe and had shoulder length hair, beard, looked like Jesus to my young eyes. 'Jesus' had his arms spread out a little distance from his body as in the gesture of saying, come unto me.

'Jesus' spoke to me and told me many things, which I have now consciously forgotten over these many years. I do know that I told him that I was sorry and that I would be a 'good girl'. (I don't know why I was 'bad' back then, at this forgetful age, but I must have a pain in the neck for my busy mother who was hard pressed to be church secretary, collector of the church, pianist of 'Bill and the Gang' on the Radio, pianist of 'The Male Glee Club' and alternate church organist.)

'Jesus' told me that I had to go back. I cried some more - a healing kind of cry. His presence grew smaller as the light receded.

I remember that I laid down on my bed and slept well. I felt happy after the deep cry and joy. My fever broke.

'Jesus' didn't bring me into his light. His light made me feel LOVE. Love that my busy mother couldn't, didn't, give. His light showed me that there is another realm beyond the earth. This is not the end in all there is. That there is perfect love. I have been searching for answers in religion ever since that time. I am a believer in the afterlife now. I do not fear death.



1979 - I wasn't thriving well after my father's death. I loved him so much. He was so kind and gentle to me. Listened and talked to me. I cried for months inside - tears dripping out of my eyes. I was so emotional over his death...even though I was married, had daughters, had a busy life.

Late summer the frequent intestinal pain came worse than usual. (I had had bouts over the years, but doctors dismissed it as it was in the lowest location of my intestines - out of place for an appendix.) In the hospital I was treated they again dismissed appendicitis. It burst. Peritonitis spread.

I had an emergency operation and signed my life away on paper. Split open from belly button to pubic area. I know that I coded. They had to use paddles on my heart.

My intestines laid out and cleaned. Packed back together with gauze and given multiple meds. They did not staple me closed. I was left open to drain and what's the use - covered which bandages.

I don't have a time frame here. I know that I left my body. I floated up to the ceiling. Looked down at it but wasn't interested in it. I know that I floated home to see my daughters and husband. My husband, at the time, was Ron. He would swear that he was shocked to see my 'ghost' standing in the bedroom while he was in bed at night.

I don't remember much about the many times I traveled out of my body as that was a period of my life that I don't think about. Life is so much better now. Out of body, I had no feelings, and was just observing. I didn't see any other worldly individual or place. Just the town I live and worked in, Massachusetts.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1948 and 1979

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Other '1948 - acute Pneumonia with no medicine 1979 - post op for ruptured appendix with gross peritonitis'

1948 - so very sick. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't sleep. So miserable, so tired, weak. Middle of the night. Feverish. Lots of phlegm and coughing up gunk.

1979 - Acutely ill to die from the ravages of peritonitis after operation and many medicines. I wasn't told, but I think they expected me to die. My mother sat by my bedside for a month.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? 1948 - I was at my highest level of consciousness and alertness when 'Jesus' was talking to me without moving his mouth. I talked to him without moving my mouth. We talked by speaking in our minds. Very clear.

1979 - I was at my highest level of consciousness and alertness when I was floating and traveling here and there. Observing. Seen and/or not seen.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. 1948 - I could see in the dark by the white light of LOVE that radiated from presence. White robe, brown hair, and human skin color. 'Jesus' appeared as an other worldly presence. Not solid as we are on earth. Spiritual. A ghost. Holy ghost. About thirty-something years old.

My sister sleeping in the room that was various shades of grey and black.

1979 - The colors were stark, joyless and bright. Normal colors.

While traveling at night the rooms and field of vision was daytime. Or it seemed like daytime. No darkness in my vision.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. 1948 - I heard 'Jesus' speak to me in my head or mind. No voice. I answered him in my head or mind. No sounds in the house or room. 1979 - No remembrance of hearing anything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes 1948 - Yes, I remember a short trip through a tunnel where I had a short life review. There was nothing to see in tunnel, just a tunnel like the tunnels depicted in cartoons these days. I was not solid, and was bumpy with swirls of twists.

My life was not exciting, just kid's stuff and mother angry with me.

I had to go back. It wasn't my time. I had to live and do good work for God. I have been trying to do good work for God ever since.

I didn't know anyone in 'heaven'. All of my relatives, that I knew, where alive. 'Jesus' told me to go back and to be a good girl.

1979 - Not that I remember. But I must have gone through something to arrive in the altered state of awareness.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes 1948 - Yes. I thought in my Sunday Schooled brain that the presence was 'Jesus'. All of my relatives, that I knew, where alive. 'Jesus' was standing in front of me. First in a pinprick of light then larger as the white light grew. 'Jesus' appeared as a male in a white robe. Medium brown hair. About thirty years old. Normal human color skin. He was smiling warmly. Comforted me. Spoke softly and tenderly with beyond the world LOVE. PURE LOVE. We talked to each other without words. We spoke with our minds. He went back the way he came. That made me feel sad. But I wept so much. So deeply and completely. A healing weep.

1979 - No other world being. I just traveled from the hospital, up in the air, to see my daughters and husband. My husband was surprised to see me appear in his bedroom in the middle of the night. I didn't talk to him. I don't know if he talked.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes 1948 - Yes. I did see the light. The SOFT, BRIGHT, WHITE LIGHT OF LOVE. Not earth kind of light or color. God's light of love. 1979 - No.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? 1948 - When I was sitting up in the bed (at least my spirit was sitting up) I felt at peace. Comforted. LOVED. Cared for. I felt the light as LOVE. I felt the spirit in the light as LOVE. I sobbed deeply and was cleansed.

1979 - None that I can remember.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

1948 - Yes. But as I elementary, sheltered child, I did not have much of a life to review. I just went over my family life. My relationship with my mother was the sticky wicket. I learned that 'Jesus' wanted me to be a good girl. I learned that I had a life to live ahead of me. I learned that I am LOVED BEYOND ANY DOUBT. That God loves me unconditionally. That when I die I will live again - where? I don't know. That is why I search, ever since.

1979 - No.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future But only before they happen, at times, JUST A BROAD AWARENESS. Just watchful. Sometimes I have a 'feeling' and it comes true.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'Congregationalist - Protestant - brought up in a loving home. Mother - church secretary. Father - deacon of church. ''Jesus loves me this I know'' theme.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was born into a Protestant family. Raised Congregational. Read all of the major religions, starting in seventh grade.

Waited for the Dead Sea Scrolls to become available, as I KNEW (deep inside) about them, from the time the scrolls became public knowledge. I think it was around 1948?

Practiced several other religions. Took Catholic religion classes. Attend and joined other Protestant churches.

Now I am studying Hebrew and going to temple with my daughter and her family in Seattle whenever I am up there. I think Daniel Weimer is a good Rabbi for the young people in the Seattle area.

I am searching for answers since my mind was opened up by God, back in 1948. Religions only give partial and inaccurate answers to the common 'man'. A human being has to go into one's own heart, mind and soul to learn what the human being already knows, planted by God from 'in the beginning'.

What is your religion now? Liberal 'SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS - Now learning Hebrew and attending Jewish synagogue with daughter's family when I visit them in Seattle. Reading about Judaism. Watching Shalom-TV on Comcast.

Protestant - member of various churches - consecutive over years but none satisfy my soul. Tried Buddhism for 3 years (1974-77. Clears the mind

Took a year of Religious study at college in 1974. Formalizes study. Read Religious section of public library when I was in 7th grade...thru now.'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was born into a Protestant family. Raised Congregational. Read all of the major religions, starting in seventh grade. Waited for the Dead Sea Scrolls to become available, as I KNEW (deep inside) about them, from the time the scrolls became public knowledge. I think it was around 1948?

Practiced several other religions. Took Catholic religion classes. Attend and joined other Protestant churches.

Now I am studying Hebrew and going to temple with my daughter and her family in Seattle whenever I am up there. I think Daniel Weimer is a good Rabbi for the young people in the Seattle area.

I am searching for answers since my mind was opened up by God, back in 1948. Religions only give partial and inaccurate answers to the common 'man'. A human being has to go into one's own heart, mind and soul to learn what the human being already knows, planted by God from 'in the beginning'.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Ever since the visit of the presence in the light I have been reading, watching, learning more about other worldly experiences of people; Edgar Cayce, Jane Roberts, Betty Eadie, different religions. I UNDERSTAND. I FEEL THAT I ALREADY KNOW THEIR MESSAGES. I REMEMBER having the knowledge that is deep, DEEP in my soul. The library or Hall of knowledge is something that I want to experience again. The books draw out in words my inner knowing.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have tried to be a good person, woman. I am only human, but I try.

I am not afraid of death. I believe that we reincarnate, where, when, how and why I do not know.

I now believe that we are to love God, our family, our neighbors - to help those in need. I try daily, to one degree or another.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am interested in the paranormal as I Knew a lot of unconscious information that paranormal reading just brings forward.

Years ago, books would 'come alive' or so it seemed. I could go into the world of 'The Little Prince' after the 1948 event. I could read paranormal books and the words flowed extra quickly. Some places of the world I miss seeing although I have never been there in this life, such as the River of Babylon in Jesus' time.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The prime part of the experience that was the most meaningful to me was the LOVE that I was shown. That LOVE is what God is made of and we are a part of, now and always. We are all in God's LOVE. We bask in his LOVE.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Over the years. Now the memories are not so vivid. I told my sister and parents of my 1948 experience. I think my parents thought it was the fever talking. Dismissed it.

Over the years I repeated the description of the experience. I don't know if they believed it. They never outright said. But my father was kind, was a thoughtful man, maybe he believed. I wrote to Jane Roberts, but her husband wrote back. She had just died.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I was a mere child. No prior knowledge. Only Congregational Sunday School. Played in sand pre-school and kindergarten. So little Sunday School education as yet.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real. It was in my head/mind then near the front of my memories. Always really present. A new way of thinking and feeling about the world. That I am never alone. That God is always with me (and with each and everyone). That the real world is yet to be. That we should try to be good for God.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Now I know that it was a gift of life from God. He came to me in a spirit form, in the beautiful, soft white light to show me that I had to live, not die. That I had a life ahead of me. That I was LOVED. Loved unconditionally. That no mater what I do, say or am, I am loved by God. God is LOVE.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I was so very upset with my mother one afternoon. I had upset her so much that she put me in my closet and closed the door. I was still a elementary child, I think. It was dark in the closet. I felt so angry. Hated my mother. I felt that I had no reason to live. I felt that she didn't love me. I opened the closet door. Walked a short distance to the second storey window. I contemplated jumping. Thought I would kill myself. THAT would make my mother sorry for making feel like I felt.

I was at the window. Getting ready to jump I heard a male voice in my head. 'Do no jump. You will only have to relive this life'. THAT scared me to life. I certainly had suffered so much in my mother's wrath that I certainly did not want to live it over again. I think the spirit said a little more, but the powerful message was that I would be doomed to repeat this life if I committed suicide. I stepped away from the window.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I learned, again, that we are not alone. There is a spirit world watching and caring for us.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Whew. This was a long questionnaire. My old bones and muscles need to move around. I need to rest and drink some water. I don't know now what you could ask. I am tired, right now. Not sleeping well. Caring for elderly husband is hard work. He is eighty-one years, six months. Caring about my daughters and their families, his children and their families is a lot of work, too. Caring for neighbors and church co-worshipers is tiring, too. All well worth the effort. I love them all.