Ellen H NDE

Experience Description

I took handfuls of any pill I could find and lay down. I remember a dark tunnel but it was not that scary. I next remember being in a highchair with my twin sister's next to mine. I remember how our living room was arranged. I did not like my mother. I would not eat my carrots. I could turn in my high chair, to look at her and did. I remember pretty much everything about the kitchen, living room, and dining room. Why I had to remember this I do not know. I then went to a very beautiful place. There were people all about the same age, twenty-five to thirty. They were walking in different colored long robes. There was a beautiful fountain, and the gate was one I could not get into. I wanted someone to let me inside. It was as if no one could see me. It appeared to be a place of learning. It was very beautiful. Next, I remember a male voice telling me, more in my soul than audibly, that I did not belong there yet.

Boom! I was back in my room. My mother was over me, and she had thrown a glass of milk on me that had been next to my bed and was shaking me. I cannot remember if my father took me to the hospital that day. I remember that before I tried to kill myself, I was looking out of my bedroom window and it was snowing. It does not snow very often in Georgia. I thought it was beautiful, I was not particularly sad; I just did not want to be here and took the pills. My family life was horrible. My parents kept kicking me out for no reason. I did not want to have to live on the streets ever again, just because one of them got mad over 'anything'. My twin sister lived with a family up the road and was okay.

I had a very strange experience during a back fusion. I felt the doctor's warmth from his stomach; he was a rather portly man. I could not feel any pain though. I should have been in pain as the surgery was done through my stomach to get to my back. No pain. I wanted to get out of there. I kept waiting for someone to come through the doors so I could get out of there. Someone opened the door, I went out, turned to the right, but it was a fire exit. I turned around and went to the left, and ended up in a small refreshment room. That is all I remember about that.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Winter 1972

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Other 'At home, so do not know.' Suicide attempt, overdose.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Being in the highchair and looking around my old house and my first sight of 'the school'.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I don't know. I was just where I was. I liked it.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see the sights around me, see myself, and yet be 'there'.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I cannot explain the 'voice' that would not let me in the school. It was audible but yet, more explicit in intent through feeling, what he said.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I went through something that felt like a twirling. It was very quick, but dark, like going through a dinosaur's intestines or something like that.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I could see people, but they would not acknowledge me. The voice was not present visibly, but when he said I was not ready to be there, I was back in my room.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes When I got out of that quick trip through the darkness and got to the 'school(?)'.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Beautiful building, fountain, beautiful grass, nice looking but serious people in different colored robes, walking through the outdoor corridors of this buiding.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Disappointed that I was not worthy to stay at the place I was at and would not be let in - I could feel my own emotions and those of others, although I was just a baby. I felt pretty good about not eating the carrots, enjoyed my dad being close to us, remember disliking my mother, and feeling her aggravation.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control The only one I remember well, is being in my highchair and not eating my carrots.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Sometimes I just know things. More when I was little. This was true before and after the experience.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain If I would have been let into the building, I felt that what I would learn would ease every pain and question in my soul.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Not really, the experience was mine.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing my dad lying on the couch, and especially the 'school' as I call it.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Thirty years.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I had no religion and never sought outside help over things of the soul. I just lived.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I thought nothing of it for many years. I just went day to day as that is all I could do then.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I finally validated the experience by asking my mother some of what the environment looked like and telling her some too, at the same time. She was shocked.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Not this experience. No.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Keep up the interest. There is so much we don't know, need to know, and may know one day. Keep up the research. It is the only way to prove anything.